Is My Hband Gay? Signs of a Gay Hband | HealthyPlace

Contents:

• SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
• 'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN
• DO YOU GUYS THK A LOT OF VERY CLOSETED BI/GAY MEN ARE SOCPATHIC?
• NARCISSISTIC PERSONALY DISORR AND GAY MEN – A VIEW OM A LEADG LONDON PSYCHOLOGIST FOR GAY MUNY

SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON

Rults show that men wanted to avoid the stigma and homophobia they felt certa would lead to strong negative emotnal reactns and profound chang their relatnships. To be eligible, men had to be at least 18 years of age; not self-intify as gay; and report havg had sex wh a man and sex wh a woman the past year.

“Our rults clearly intify the need for public tn mpaigns to dispel myths about bisexual men—that bisexual men are not gay, do not have HIV, and are not necsarily non-monogamo, ” said Eric W.

The men nsistently reported anticipatg stigma for havg sex wh men and specified a number of reasons for non-disclosure, cludg anticipatn of negative emotnal reactns; anticipatn of negative chang relatnships; belief that their fay, iends, and female partners held stigmatizg attus toward homosexualy; and prr experience wh negative reactns to disclosure. The rearchers say their fdgs show that bisexual men may be more likely than gay men to anticipate stigmatizg reactns om others. However, they utn that their rearch did not pare bisexual men’s reasons to those of gay men, and therefore is still unclear whether gay men perceive ls sigma (and therefore are more likely to disclose) or if gay and bisexual men experience siar levels of stigma perceptns prr to disclosure.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

“Such rearch is cril to unrstandg the potential al orr between stigma and disclosure among both gay and bisexual men, ” noted Dowlg. As gay people mt ci on a daily basis whether to reveal and to whom they will reveal, g out is a procs that never the jargon of ntemporary homosexual culture, those who hi their sexual inti are referred to as eher closeted or said to be the closet. Homosexual IntiIn the velopmental histori of gay men and women, perds of difficulty acknowledgg their homosexualy, eher to themselv or to others, are often reported.

On the ntrary, begng childhood--and distguishg them om racial and ethnic mori--gay people are often subjected to the antihomosexual attus of their own fai and muni (Drcher et al., 2004). Antihomosexual attus clu homophobia (Weberg, 1972), heterosexism (Herek, 1984), moral nmnatns of homosexualy (Drcher, 1998) and antigay vlence (Herek and Berrill, 1992). Hidg activi learned childhood often persist to young adulthood, middle age and even sencence, leadg many gay people to nceal important aspects of themselv.

Closeted dividuals equently nnot acknowledge to themselv, let alone to others, their homoerotic feelgs, attractns and fantasi. Their homosexualy is so unacceptable that mt be kept out of nsc awarens and nnot be tegrated to their public persona. Consequently, the feelgs mt be dissociated om the self and hidn om and when same-sex feelgs and attractns n no longer be kept out of nscns, the dividual be homosexually self-aware.

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

While homosexually self-aware people might nsir acceptg and tegratg the feelgs to their public persona, acceptance is not a pre-termed oute. For example, a relig, homosexually self-aware man may choose a celibate life to avoid what, for him, would be the problematic tegratn of his relig and sexual inti.

Individuals who are eher nscly prepared to act on their homoerotic feelgs or to reveal a homosexual inty to others ually fe themselv as gay or lbian. Others may e out to people they have met the gay muny while keepg their gay inty separate om the rt of their liv.

The people have experienced homosexual self-awarens, may have acted on their feelgs, and may have even once intified as gay or lbian.

'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

While regnizg their homosexual feelgs, the dividuals reject the feelgs and, spe the low odds of succs, may even seek to change their sexual orientatn (Shidlo et al., 2001) above classifitn of homosexual inti privileg the role of self-fn.

Consequently, when dividuals bee homosexually self-aware, there is a wi range of psychosocially nstcted attus and rpons they may velop toward their own homosexualy. For example, a homosexually self-aware man may ially intify himself as gay but then regret that cisn and return to his earlier practic of hidg.

Another may choose a non-gay inty, attempt a "sexual nversn" therapy, but then later ci to accept his homosexual feelgs and e out. Clil prentatns of closeted gay people may lie somewhere severy between selective attentn--most monly seen the se of homosexually self-aware patients thkg about "the possibily" that they might be gay--to more severe dissociatn-- which any ht of same-sex feelgs ris totally out of nsc awarens. More severe forms of dissociatn are monly observed married men who are homosexually self-aware but nnot perm the thought of themselv as gay (Roughton, 2002) and the ClosetSome closeted gay people n reflexively speak whout revealg the genr of the person beg discsed or whout providg any genred tails of their personal liv.

DO YOU GUYS THK A LOT OF VERY CLOSETED BI/GAY MEN ARE SOCPATHIC?

" Toward that end, a gay person might avoid referenc to genr altogether: "I went out last night wh someone I've been datg for the last few weeks.

Transparency, visibily, losg one's voice, and beg stuck behd walls or other barriers are some of the terms ed to scribe the subjective experience of dissociative tachment (Drcher, 1998) Closet and Gay-BashgFor some gay men, "Hidg and passg as heterosexual be a lifelong moral hatred of the self; a maze of rptns, petty li, and half tths that spoil social relatns fay and iendship" (Herdt and Boxer, 1993). One penile plethysmography study dited that men wh strong antihomosexual beliefs actually had signifint homosexual aroal patterns (Adams et al., 1996). In other words, is an effort to strengthen dissociative OutComg out may be the most monly shared cultural experience that f the morn gay inty.

However, the procs is not jt about revealg onelf to others-- g out, gay people tegrate, as bt they n, dissociated aspects of the self. Herdt and Boxer (1993) classified g out as a rual procs of passage that requir a gay person to 1) unlearn the prcipl of natural or sentialist heterosexualy; 2) unlearn the stereotyp of homosexualy; and 3) learn the ways of the lbian and gay culture they are enterg.

NARCISSISTIC PERSONALY DISORR AND GAY MEN – A VIEW OM A LEADG LONDON PSYCHOLOGIST FOR GAY MUNY

Fally, as gay people mt ci on a daily basis whether to reveal and to whom they will reveal themselv, g out is a procs that never out to onelf is a subjective experience of ner regnn. Such revelatns are not always greeted wh enthiasm, and fear of rejectn often plays a signifint role a gay person's cisn about who to tell or whether to e out. After makg such a move, gay people may pletely (and perhaps dissociatively) sever relatnships wh their past Therapist's RoleA therapist's regnn and rpect for dividual differenc allows multiple possibili the g out procs.