What About Ex-Ex-Gays? | Ask Dr. Brown

Contents:

• FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY
• ‘EX-GAY’ MEN FIGHT BACK AGAST VIEW THAT HOMOSEXUALY CAN’T BE CHANGED
• WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?
• MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE
• WHAT ABOUT EX-EX-GAYS?
• GAY, CHRISTIAN AND … CELIBATE: THE CHANGG FACE OF THE HOMOSEXUALY BATE
• WHAT COM AFTER THE EX-GAY MOVEMENT? THE SAME THG THAT CAME BEFORE.
• EX-GAY IS HERE TO STAY
• MY EX-GAY FRIEND
• MILO YIANNOPOULOS SAYS HE IS ‘EX-GAY,’ WANTS TO REHABILATE ‘NVERSN THERAPY’
• THE EX-GAY CHRISTIANY MOVEMENT IS MAKG A QUIET EBACK. THE EFFECTS ON LGBTQ YOUTH ULD BE VASTATG.
• NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' LOOKS BEHD THE CURTA OF THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT

FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY

Interview highlights clu extend web-only answers and have been eded for length and clary: Interview Highlights Thomas on how he joed the "ex-gay" movement and Exod Internatnal I was out of the closet the '80s.

‘EX-GAY’ MEN FIGHT BACK AGAST VIEW THAT HOMOSEXUALY CAN’T BE CHANGED

He spent 17 years a doomed marriage while battlg his urg all day, he said, and dreamg about them all recent years, as he probed his childhood unselg and at men’s weekend retreats wh nam like People Can Change and Journey Into Manhood, “my homosexual feelgs have nearly vanished, ” Mr.

WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?

Smh is one of thoands of men across the untry, often known as “ex-gay, ” who believe they have changed their most basic sexual sir through some batn of therapy and prayer — somethg most scientists say has never been proved possible and is likely an men are often closeted, fearg ridicule om gay advot who acce them of self-ceptn and, at the same time, fearg rejectn by their church muni as tated oddi. ”But many ex-gays have ntued to seek help om such therapists and men’s retreats, sayg their own experience is proof enough that the treatment n Bzer, 35, was so angered by the California ban, which will take effect on Jan. He was tormented as a Christian teenager by his homosexual attractns, but now, after men’s retreats and an onle urse of reparative therapy, he says he feels glimmers of attractn for women and is thkg about datg.

Bzer, who plans to seek a doctorate psychology and bee a therapist ex-gays guard their secret but quietly meet support groups around the untry, sharg ias on how to avoid temptatns or, perhaps, broach their past wh a female date. The theori, which have also been adopted by nservative relig opponents of gay marriage, hold that male homosexualy emerg om fay dynamics — often a distant father and an overbearg mother — or om early sexual abe.

MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE

Spzer, publicly repudiated as valid his own 2001 study suggtg that some people uld change their sexual orientatn; the study had been wily ced by fenrs of the this summer, the ex-gay world was nvulsed when Alan Chambers, the print of Exod Internatnal, the largt Christian mistry for people fightg same-sex attractn, said he did not believe anyone uld be rid of homosexual Nilosi, a psychologist and clil director of the Thomas Aquas Psychologil Clic Enco, Calif., which he scrib as the largt reparative therapy clic the world, disagreed.

Crics like Wayne Ben, the executive director of Tth Ws Out, which fights antigay bias, liken such therapy to fah healg, wh apparent effects that later fa also pot out that the failur of such therapy are seldom reported.

WHAT ABOUT EX-EX-GAYS?

Swaim is unemployed and liv wh his parents Orange County, Calif., where his father is a pastor of the Evangelil Friends Church of the tried the gay life, but “ jt don’t settle wh me, ” he said, and ultimately cid “there’s got to be a way to heal this afflictn. If “ex-gays” exist, this means that people n change their sexual orientatn — and this means that the foundatn the homosexual rights movement, the ia that they are “born that way” and th nnot help themselv, go right out the wdow.

Many ex-gays are aaid to e out of the closet bee of the harassment they will receive — their nam, phone numbers and personal rmatn posted on gay webs, attacked at ex-gay exhib booths, prs releas issued agast them, etc. ”3 This is an odd assertn, sce a tailed review of homosexual obuari showed several exampl of men who were happily married, who had children, and who nsired themselv “straight” sudnly abandong their fai and embracg the homosexual “liftyle. But the “scientific” methods ed this study would make any legimate rearcher crge; the “study” managers did not terview a large group of “ex-gays;” they simply sought out people who claimed that they had been harmed (an tensive procs that took a full five years) and then nmned such therapy.

GAY, CHRISTIAN AND … CELIBATE: THE CHANGG FACE OF THE HOMOSEXUALY BATE

In natns where “nversn therapy” has been banned, homosexual activists have liberately approached Christian unselors pretendg to want to bee straight, and have lied to them orr to strip them of their licens. As one leadg English homosexual activist said, “We want to root out therapists and psychiatrists who are practicg the techniqu and ultimately brg an end to them through exposg them, as well as disptg their meetgs.

WHAT COM AFTER THE EX-GAY MOVEMENT? THE SAME THG THAT CAME BEFORE.

Psychologists and unselors the jurisdictns are forbidn to unsel homosexuals their attempts to bee straight — even if they want this unselg — but are perfectly ee to tell a straight person all about the many alleged benefs of homosexualy.

My mother might not have so easily found rmatn about ex-gay therapy had the Christian right not planted this stake the culture ad appeared 23 years after the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn (APA) classified homosexualy as a mental illns. Foc on the Fay lled s new ex-gay mistry Love Won Out and talked about healg and rg for ex-gay movement turned the rhetoric of gay rights agast self: Shouldn't ex-gays be able to pursue therapy and live the liv they want whout facg discrimatn?

Together wh the late Charl Soris, a psychiatrist who led the opposn to classifyg homosexualy as a mental illns, Nilosi formed NARTH 1992 as a "scientific anizatn that offers hope to those who stggle wh unwanted homosexualy. Nilosi remas NARTH's most visible are no reliable statistics for how many patients have received ex-gay treatment or how many therapists practice , but the late 1990s and early 2000s, ex-gay therapy enjoyed a legimacy hadn't sce the APA removed homosexualy om s diagnostic manual. Whether or not the Christian right's alliance wh the ex-gay movement had nstuted a D-Day the culture wars, had succsfully challenged the prevailg ia that the bt choice for gay people was to accept themselv.

EX-GAY IS HERE TO STAY

I read one of Nilosi's books, Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexualy, that he tri to posn himself as a supportive father figure, typifyg the sort of relatnship that he believ his patients never had wh their own father. What translated to the larger culture was: The father of the 1973 revolutn the classifitn and treatment of homosexualy, who uld not be seen as jt another biased ex-gay csar wh an agenda, had validated ex-gay therapy. Richard Cohen, the founr of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays)-tend as the ex-gay unterpart to PFLAG (Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays)-was expelled om the Amerin Counselg Associatn for ethics vlatns.

Among them were Alan Downg, the lead therapist of JONAH (Jews Offerg New Alternativ to Homosexualy), who ma his patients strip and touch themselv ont of a mirror; NARTH member Christopher At, who was nvicted of "unlawfully, tentnally and knowgly [g] peratn of" a client; and Exod-affiliated Mike Jon, who asked a patient to take off his shirt and do ph-ups for movement also suffered several high-profile fectns. But the sprg of my sophomore year, the disparate parts of myself I had managed to hold together-the part of me that thought beg gay was wrong, the part that slept wh men anyway, the part of myself I let the world see, and the part that suffered silence-me undone.

MY EX-GAY FRIEND

While took years of unselg to disabe myself of the ias I had learned while unrgog therapy wh Nilosi, was the first time I enuntered profsnals who were affirmg of my sexualy, and the first time I allowed myself to thk was all right to be gay. In regards to the qutn of whether or not homosexualy is a permanent ndn, one of the earlit historil rerds regardg of the existence of ex-homosexuals is a letter of the Apostle Pl to the Corthian Christian church.

Whehead thored a book wh his wife entled My Gen Ma Me Do - a scientific look at sexual orientatn which argu that there is no geic termism regards to homosexualy and that there is abundant documentatn that dividuals are able to leave homosexualy and bee heterosexuals. The studi have been so numero that Wt (a gay man) 1977 took an entire chapter his classic book, Homosexualy Re-examed, to review them, and mented: “Although some ant homosexuals fd such claims improbable and unpalatable, thentited acunts have been published of apparently exclive and long-standg homosexuals unexpectedly changg their orientatn.

” [8] For example, when the alleged homosexual, male pengu "Harry" mated wh a female pengu (see: Homosexualy animals myth), the homosexual activist Wayne Ben angrily exclaimed "“There is no ‘ex-gay’ sexual orientatn. ’”[9] In Madison, Wisns an ex-homosexual was forced to do 50 hours of muny service and unrgo "tolerance trag" (or face jail time and f) due to a discsn he had wh a homosexual (see: Hate Crime Law Misapplied to Ex-homosexual).

MILO YIANNOPOULOS SAYS HE IS ‘EX-GAY,’ WANTS TO REHABILATE ‘NVERSN THERAPY’

The nial that homosexualy is a choice by homosexual activists and liberals is siar to the behavr of fat acceptance movement activists who sist that beg overweight is never a choice and ostracize ex-overweight people (see: fat acceptance movement for tails). The classic biblil mentator Matthew Henry wrote the followg regardg the fivens and sanctifitn Christ for those who repent of the above ss listed the letter of Pl to the Corthians (which clus the s of homosexualy):. As the publisher of a 13 year old perdil which targets Black gays and lbians, I have had the opportuny to publicly addrs thoands, fluencg closeted people to ‘e out’ and stand up for themselv, which is particularly difficult the Ain-Amerin muny.

THE EX-GAY CHRISTIANY MOVEMENT IS MAKG A QUIET EBACK. THE EFFECTS ON LGBTQ YOUTH ULD BE VASTATG.

[14] Some of the participants qu the study bee they believe they had posively changed and didn't see a need to ntue while others qu bee they cid they didn't want to change om a homosexual to an ex-homosexual. Acrdg to the Baptist Prs, here are the rults: 15 percent of subjects experienced substantial change; "23 percent said their nversn was succsful and that homosexual attractn was eher missg or "prent only cintally or a way that do not seem to brg about distrs. "; 29 percent of subjects experienced most succs; 15 percent of subjects experienced no change and were uncid about what to do next; "4 percent had not changed and had qu the change procs, but had not embraced the "gay inty.

Asked why some people are homosexual, 42% say is "jt the way that some people prefer to live, " pared wh 30% who thk homosexualy is somethg people are born wh and 14% who believe velops bee of the way people are brought up.

NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' LOOKS BEHD THE CURTA OF THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT

Gay activist, Wayne Ben, who sudnly found himself at the epicenter of a new reer playg CIA wh the liv of formerly gay men and women, says the book which featur first person ttimoni by former homosexuals urg gays to “go back to the closet. Foster, who wrote the foreword to Closg the Closet heads Powerful Change Mistry Group Internatnal, a fellowship of 14 natnal and ternatnal mistri to homosexuals muni of lor who seek change om unwanted homosexualy... For such profsnals who give big money to homosexual rights anizatns exchange for their "profsnal" opns about homosexuals, keepg exgays silent and hidn has bee an to homosexuals muni of lor who seek change om unwanted homosexualy...