What About Ex-Ex-Gays? | Ask Dr. Brown

Contents:

• ¿DE DóN VIENE LA PALABRA ‘GAY’ Y QUé SIGNIFI?
• LOS TéRMOS MáS DICHOS ENTRE LA UNIDAD GAY Y SU SIGNIFIDO OCULTO (NO TAN OCULTO)
• WHAT ABOUT EX-EX-GAYS?
• ¿QUé SIGNIFI SOñAR N DCUBRIR TU EX NOV GAY?
• WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?
• ¿QUé SIGNIFI SOñAR QUE TU EX GAY?
• JAGUARS ACH KEV MAXEN OUT AS GAY HISTORIC ANNOUNCEMENT
• FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY

¿DE DóN VIENE LA PALABRA ‘GAY’ Y QUé SIGNIFI?

Ant que ‘gay’ tuviera vculada a la atracción las personas l mismo sexo, solo taba vculada a la sexualidad en general, heterosexual u homosexual.

Y en el siglo XVIII, ‘sas gay’ se nvirtió en otro térmo para referirse a los burl y no necariamente burl don ocurrían relacn entre personas l mismo sexo. Alredor mediados l siglo XX, el o la palabra ‘gay’ para scribir la homosexualidad —prcipalmente para los hombr— se nvirtió en una prácti más ún.

LOS TéRMOS MáS DICHOS ENTRE LA UNIDAD GAY Y SU SIGNIFIDO OCULTO (NO TAN OCULTO)

Aunque en un ic ta palabra utilizaba prcipalmente para referirse a los hombr homosexual, hoy un térmo que también apli para las mujer lbianas y otros miembros la unidad LGBT+.

WHAT ABOUT EX-EX-GAYS?

Mayate- Son aquellos hombr que tienen preferencias homosexual, pero lo ocultan y puen llevar una vida totalmente heterosexual n posa e hijos, s embargo, se dan algunas padas para vivir su sexualidad.

My mom is a problem solver, and the next day she hand me a stack of papers she had prted out om the Inter about reorientatn, or "ex-gay," therapy.

In fact, I had always imaged myself middle-aged, married to a woman, and havg a son and dghter-didn't everyone want some versn of that?"The gay liftyle is very lonely," she said.She told me about Dr. Joseph Nilosi, a clil psychologist California who was then print of the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy (NARTH), the untry's largt anizatn for practners of ex-gay therapy.

¿QUé SIGNIFI SOñAR N DCUBRIR TU EX NOV GAY?

Nilosi's rner office had emerald-green rpet and mahogany bookshelv led wh tl like Homosexualy: A Freedom Too Far and Homosexualy and the Polics of Tth. When my father and I first sat down, Nilosi explaed what he meant by "cure." Although I might never feel a spark of excement when I saw a woman walkg down the street, as I progrsed therapy, my homosexual attractns would dimish.

The other men-four or five altogether-were their forti and fifti and talked about their years the "gay liftyle," which had yield only unhapps. I left the office wh a py of Nilosi's most recent book, Healg Homosexualy, and a worksheet that tegorized different emotns unr the brics of "te self" and "false self." The te self felt mascule, was "aquate, on par," "secure, nfint, pable," and "at home [his] body." The false self did not feel mascule, was aquate and secure, and felt alienated om his body. I had been teased throughout my childhood for beg effemate, and as a lanky, awkward teen wh bad sk, I certaly was not at home my body.Another sheet illtrated the "triadic relatnship" that led to homosexualy: a passive, distant father, an overvolved mother, and a sensive child.

The story seemed to f, which was fortg: It gave me nfince that I uld be cured.Acrdg to Nilosi, intifitn wh a parent of the other genr is out of step wh our blogil and evolutnary "sign." Bee of this, was impossible to ever bee whole through gay relatnships. My mother might not have so easily found rmatn about ex-gay therapy had the Christian right not planted this stake the culture war.The ad appeared 23 years after the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn (APA) classified homosexualy as a mental illns. A small group of therapists ntued to practice talk therapy that enuraged patients to see homosexualy as a velopmental disorr, but they remaed on the ge until the Christian right took up their e.

WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?

Instead of fire-and-brimstone nunciatns om the pulp, the ex-gay movement allowed the Christian right to uch s nmnatn of homosexualy a way that seemed passnate. Foc on the Fay lled s new ex-gay mistry Love Won Out and talked about healg and rg for homosexuals.The ex-gay movement turned the rhetoric of gay rights agast self: Shouldn't ex-gays be able to pursue therapy and live the liv they want whout facg discrimatn?

Together wh the late Charl Soris, a psychiatrist who led the opposn to classifyg homosexualy as a mental illns, Nilosi formed NARTH 1992 as a "scientific anizatn that offers hope to those who stggle wh unwanted homosexualy." By 1998, the group was holdg an annual nference, publishg s own journal, and trag hundreds of psychiatrists, psychologists, and unselors. Nilosi remas NARTH's most visible advote.There are no reliable statistics for how many patients have received ex-gay treatment or how many therapists practice , but the late 1990s and early 2000s, ex-gay therapy enjoyed a legimacy hadn't sce the APA removed homosexualy om s diagnostic manual. Whether or not the Christian right's alliance wh the ex-gay movement had nstuted a D-Day the culture wars, had succsfully challenged the prevailg ia that the bt choice for gay people was to accept themselv.

¿QUé SIGNIFI SOñAR QUE TU EX GAY?

I read one of Nilosi's books, Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexualy, that he tri to posn himself as a supportive father figure, typifyg the sort of relatnship that he believ his patients never had wh their own father. When I left for Yale, my mother sent me off wh a warng: Were she to disver that I had "entered the gay liftyle," my parents would no longer pay for my tn. What translated to the larger culture was: The father of the 1973 revolutn the classifitn and treatment of homosexualy, who uld not be seen as jt another biased ex-gay csar wh an agenda, had validated ex-gay therapy.

An Associated Prs story lled "explosive." In the words of one of Spzer's gay lleagu, was like "throwg a grena to the gay muny." For the ex-gay movement, was a godsend. Whereas prev acunts of succs had appeared non-peer-reviewed, vany, pay-to-publish journals like Psychologil Reports, Spzer's study was published the prtig Archiv of Sexual Behavr.Spzer's study is still ced by ex-gay anizatns as evince that ex-gay therapy works. Participants had been referred to Spzer by ex-gay groups like NARTH and Exod, which had an tert remendg clients who would validate their work.

JAGUARS ACH KEV MAXEN OUT AS GAY HISTORIC ANNOUNCEMENT

Nilosi-I married my partner.Spzer was drawn to the topic of ex-gay therapy bee was ntroversial-"I was always attracted to ntroversy"-but was troubled by how the study was received.

FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY

"The fdgs n be nsired evince for what those who have unrgone ex-gay therapy say about , but nothg more." He said he spoke wh the edor of the Archiv of Sexual Behavr about wrg a retractn, but the edor cled. (Repeated attempts to ntact the journal went unanswered.)Spzer said that he was proud of havg been stmental removg homosexualy om the list of mental disorrs. He said that failed attempts to rid onelf of homosexual attractns "n be que harmful." He has, though, no doubts about the 1973 fight over the classifitn of homosexualy."Had there been no Bob Spzer, homosexualy would still have eventually been removed om the list of psychiatric disorrs," he said.

The need for that evince beme more prsg the early 2000s, when a dre of gay-rights bloggers began to sctize the movement, ready to expose any ht of hypocrisy. John Plk, Love Won Out founr, chair of the board of Exod Internatnal, and hband of Anne Plk, was spotted and photographed at a Washgton, D.C., gay bar.

Richard Cohen, the founr of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays)-tend as the ex-gay unterpart to PFLAG (Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays)-was expelled om the Amerin Counselg Associatn for ethics vlatns.