Gay "Sis": How Language Fre Us to be Ourselv | Psychology Today

Contents:

• SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"
• GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV
• ABOUT THE CENTERSCE 1983 THE CENTER HAS BEEN SUPPORTG, FOSTERG AND CELEBRATG THE LGBT MUNY OF NEW YORK CY. FD MORE RMATN ON AND OUR WORK ABOUT THE CENTER. VIS ABOUT THE CENTEROUR MISSNCYBER CENTERCENTER HISTORYRACE EQUYMEDIA CENTERLEARSHIP & STAFFEMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNICORPORATE PARTNERSHIPSANNUAL REPORTS & FANCIAL INFORMATNCONTACT USHOURS & LOTNSEMAPSUPPORT THE CENTER
• WHAT IS THE GAY MEN PRI FLAG AND WHAT DO MEAN?
• WHAT EXACTLY IS THE GAY MEN’S PRI FLAG, AND WHAT DO IT MEAN?
• GAY

SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"

“I ntributed a term to the gay male muny. Gay men are always fg themselv as top and bottom or verse for terurse. What about gay men who don’t engage terurse?

A third add: “Personally I’m not crazy about the term ‘si’ (sounds to me like someone lyg there, dog not much) but ’s good that Grdr acknowledg that there’s more to gay sex than anal. Gay men who intify as a "si".

GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV

When to sex, whether you’re gay, bi, or straight, we’ve all been a ltle brawashed to believg that there is this thg lled “normal. In the gay male muny, ually, you’re eher nsired to be a “top, ” the perator, or a “bottom, ” the perated, or you’re versatile (n go eher way).

ABOUT THE CENTERSCE 1983 THE CENTER HAS BEEN SUPPORTG, FOSTERG AND CELEBRATG THE LGBT MUNY OF NEW YORK CY. FD MORE RMATN ON AND OUR WORK ABOUT THE CENTER. VIS ABOUT THE CENTEROUR MISSNCYBER CENTERCENTER HISTORYRACE EQUYMEDIA CENTERLEARSHIP & STAFFEMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNICORPORATE PARTNERSHIPSANNUAL REPORTS & FANCIAL INFORMATNCONTACT USHOURS & LOTNSEMAPSUPPORT THE CENTER

For stance, thk about datg apps for gay men. But what if you’re a gay man who don’t enjoy anal sex or fds anal peratn paful, don’t like the feelg or the troublome amount of preparatn and cleang up need for to be a pleasurable experience, or simply don’t experience anal sex as erotic? That’s why a 2013 article I wrote for Huffgton Post, "Guys on the ‘Si’: Lookg Beyond Gay Tops and Bottoms, " I began workg on popularizg the term “si” orr for the gay men to have the language to exprs their sexual and erotic preference.

Sis often suffer the accatns of other gay men, such as:. I’ve seen gay male clients who rry a load of shame about not likg or wantg to get or give anal sex. There are straight men who like havg anal sex and/or beg perated wh a dildo, and there are gay men who don’t.

In a world which stunts are expelled for handg out Pri flags to prott Florida's "Don't Say Gay Bill, " the need to show support for LGTBQ+ rights—publicly as well as privately—is as important as ever. Gilbert Baker Pri Flag(Image cred: Wikimedia Commons)In 1977, gay polician Harvey Milk tasked veteran Gilbert Baker to e up wh a Pri flag. Tradnal Gay Pri Flag (Image cred: Getty Imag/Norberto Cuen)This is probably the flag you'll see most often: Six lors, apparently easier to produce than the odd-numbered seven (although other reports say was more about makg the flag easier for paras and to hang on posts).

WHAT IS THE GAY MEN PRI FLAG AND WHAT DO MEAN?

Lbian Labrys Flag(Image cred: Getty Imag/Ecelop)This flag isn't wily ed—and part of the reason may be that the flag was signed 1999 by a gay man, Sean Campbell. But the "leather flag, " created by Tony DeBlase 1989, is a symbol of that muny (which clus many gay men)—black may symbolize leather, whe is pury, blue is votn, and the heart is Brotherhood Flag(Image cred: Getty Imag/grebhkovmaxim)Craig Byrn and Pl Wzkoske 1995 ma the "bear flag" for "a subculture of mascule-prentg gay, bisexual and trans men who embrace facial and body hair and may have larger bodi. The gay male datg app, Grdr, recently add the sexual preference I created beyond jt top, bottom, and vers when to gay men engagg terurse: "si.

That’s what happened 2013 when, an article I wrote for the Huffgton Post, “Guys on the Si, ” I created the term “si” for gay men who aren’t to beg a “top” or a “bottom” or practicg anal peratn. Bee up until that time the gay muny, havg “real sex” was only about peratn. And most gay male circl, this is still the se.

WHAT EXACTLY IS THE GAY MEN’S PRI FLAG, AND WHAT DO IT MEAN?

The term “Si” was created when 2010, I was talkg wh some lleagu about “tops” (gay men who prefer the sertive role durg peratn) and “bottoms” (gay men who prefer the receptive role durg peratn) and outed myself for beg a gay man who don’t engage anal terurse at all.

GAY

Beg a “top, ” “bottom, ” or “vers” (short for "versatile, " or someone who uld go eher way) were the only acceptable mols the gay muny, and I felt dissed for not ftg to the mold. About a year and a half ago I formed a Facebook group lled “Si Guys” and some of the guys the group started a petn to Grdr, the gay datg app, to add “si” to their list of preferred posns and filters.

And now that Grdr has updated s settgs, gay men are addg as a sexual posn to their app self-intifyg as a si. It’s been around forever—but we jt didn’t have a snappy term to scribe the gay muny.

Back 2011, an article was published the Journal of Sexual Medice which rearchers surveyed 25, 000 gay and bisexual men Ameri about their most recent sexual enunters, and only 36 percent said they had bottomed, and 34 percent said they had topped. Nearly 65 percent of gay and bisexual men didn’t have terurse as part of their most recent sexual experience at all.

Furthermore, a si n be a gay male, a bisexual male, a pansexual male, or fall unr the ace umbrella (asexual male/graysexual male/misexual male, etc.

Dennis Fortenberry MD, MS Sexual Behavrs and Suatnal Characteristics of Most Recent Male-Partnered Sexual Event among Gay and Bisexually Intified Men the Uned Stat.