Gay "Sis": How Language Fre Us to be Ourselv | Psychology Today

Contents:

• IT'S TIME TO STOP PIGEONHOLG GAY MEN AS TOPS AND BOTTOMS
• GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV
• SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"
• MEET THE GAYBROS

IT'S TIME TO STOP PIGEONHOLG GAY MEN AS TOPS AND BOTTOMS

Straight men who have engaged suatnal homosexualy (such as prison or the ary), what's your story? Go to askgaybros. r/askgaybros.

Which si is the "gay" si for one earrg? Actually cur if there was an accepted si the gay muny cir '90's. I remember middle-school people sayg, 'If you have an earrg on X si you're gay.' Certaly not bashg at all, jt wonred if there was a trend that was agreed upon at one pot.

“I ntributed a term to the gay male muny. Gay men are always fg themselv as top and bottom or verse for terurse.

GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV

What about gay men who don’t engage terurse? A third add: “Personally I’m not crazy about the term ‘si’ (sounds to me like someone lyg there, dog not much) but ’s good that Grdr acknowledg that there’s more to gay sex than anal.

"Some fans are so keen to pigeonhole male idols as tops and bottoms that even cishet celebri, such as Shawn Mens, Timothée Chalamet, and the members of One Directn, have the sexual rol (which are most readily associated wh gay men) applied to them. But the sire to tegorize guys based on what they might do bed isn’t jt part of stan culture; ’s a rctive part of gay culture—pecially on datg apps. “It scrib acts more than people, and don't leave a lot of space for gay guys who are vers, or gay guys like me who don't really ever have anal sex.

And what about MSM [men seekg men] on datg apps who don't intify as gay or bi? You know, I thk would be super-eful to te people about the si inty, and the fact that many gay guys do not often, or ed ever, have anal sex. ”David, a 35-year-old gay man om London who don’t intify as top or bottom, says he worri that “some guys n start to fe their liv” by their sexual role.

SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"

“I fully unrstand the need to give yourself an inty, and when the only thg we all have mon [as gay men] is sex, ’s the easit one to lean on, ” he says.

"In recent years, some gay circl, “bottom” has bee a sneerg synonym for “mp” or “femme-prentg. ” Court, a 37-year-old gay guy om Denver, tells me that “bottom-shamg is fely a thg.

“But some gay guys out there feel so threatened their masculy that they don’t want anyone to perceive them as even beg pable of ‘takg . “And you know, I thk some gay guys out there maybe had one really bad experience bottomg and never allowed themselv to try aga bee they were aaid would be bad aga. "I thk those bary inti, wh vers, vers bottom, and vers top as qualifiers too, are really helpful for many guys out there, so there’s no need to reject them entirely, ” says (not his real name), a 31-year-old gay man livg Dubai*, says his personal relatnship history means he’s never really faced the qutn “top or bottom?

MEET THE GAYBROS

And that volved all aspects of gay sex, top and bottom, ” he explas. “Beg a mted relatnship maybe also meant that we were ls affected by gay stereotyp bee we evolved sexually the secury of our relatnship. ”Ric also suggts we’re seeg a slight shift the way bottomg is perceived by the gay male muny.

’ thg has been rried forward om the gay dark ag. I’m also gay, and mted to a tradnal sexual ethic, and I’d love to do rearch/thkg areas of theology of genr and sexualy/mistry to LGBT youth the church.

The gay male datg app, Grdr, recently add the sexual preference I created beyond jt top, bottom, and vers when to gay men engagg terurse: "si. That’s what happened 2013 when, an article I wrote for the Huffgton Post, “Guys on the Si, ” I created the term “si” for gay men who aren’t to beg a “top” or a “bottom” or practicg anal peratn. Bee up until that time the gay muny, havg “real sex” was only about peratn.