How to Bee Popular at a Gay Bar: Your Ultimate Gui

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• THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985
• THE GANG GETS RACISTIT’S ALWAYS SUNNY PHILALPHIATRACK 1 ON SEASON 1 SCRIPTS A TRANSCRIPT OF THE FIRST EPISO OM IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILALPHIA, “THE GANG GETS RACIST”.AUG. 4, 20051 VIEWER7.8K VIEWS8 CONTRIBUTORSTHE GANG GETS RACIST LYRICSINT. PADDY'S PUBDENNIS, MAC, AND CHARLIE ARE CLEANG UP.DENNIS: ANOTHER BIG NIGHT, FELLAS. 164 DOLLARS AND 87 CENTSMAC: THAT’S NOT A LOT OF MONEY.DENNIS: NO, ISN’T. AND OUR MORTGAGE IS DUE TWO WEEKS.MAC: NO, WE PAID THAT LIKE A WEEK AGO.DENNIS: A WEEK AGO WAS THREE WEEKS LATE, MAC.DEE ENTERSDEE: HEY GUYS. SO I MET THIS GUY MY ACTG CLASS AND HE’S REALLY OL AND HE WANTS TO SEE WHERE I WORK, SO ULD YOU GUYS TRY TO NOT BE WEIRD?MAC: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?DEE: Y’KNOW, I LOVE YOU GUYS VERY MUCH, BUT SOMETIM YOU’RE NOT THAT OL.DENNIS: WE’RE OL!MAC: NOT OL?DEE: TRY TO BE OL.DENNIS: OK, WE’LL TRY.CHARLIE: SOMETIM, YOU’RE NOT TOO OL.DEE: CHARLIE…DENNIS: WE’RE ALWAYS OL, MAN.TERRELL ENTERSDENNIS: OH HEY MAN, WE’RE CLOSED.TERRELL: YEAH, I KNOW.MAC: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WE DON’T WANT ANY TROUBLE.TERRELL: WHAT?DEE: GUYS, THIS IS TERRELL… OM MY ACTG CLASS.MAC: YEAH… YEAH…DENNIS: HEY MAN, HOW’S GOG?TERRELL: IT’S GOG GOOD. HOW YOU DOG?DENNIS: GOOD, MAN. WE’RE JT… WE’RE JT CHILL, DU.MAC: GREAT. JT CLOSG UP SHOP.CHARLIE: YEAH.TERRELL: GUS YOU GUYS DON’T HAVE TOO MANY BROTHERS WALKG THROUGH HERE.MAC: OH NO, WE HAVE PLENTY OF BROTHERS.DENNIS: YEAH – AIN AMERINS.DEE: YEAH, WE GET .MAC: YOU MIGHT KNOW SOME OF THEM.TERRELL: YEAH, WE’RE PROBABLY RELATED.MAC: NO. NO. I WASN’T IMPLYG THAT…DENNIS: I DON’T THK HE WAS IMPLYG THAT YOU GUYS ARE ALL RELATED. THAT’S RIDICULO. Y’KNOW SWEET DEE ME HERE A SEND AGO AND SHE STARTED TALKG ABOUT ACTG CLASS. AND, Y’KNOW WE WEREN’T EXPECTG YOU –MAC: WE WEREN’T EXPECTG YOU TO BE BLACK. THAT’S ALL.TERRELL: RIGHT.AN AWKWARD SILENCEDEE: THANKS, GUYS.TITLE SEQUENCEINT PADDY'S PUBTERRELL, DEE, CHARLIE, MAC, AND DENNIS DRKG BEER AT A TABLE.TERRELL: YOU KNOW, WHEN I’M PROMOTG, YOU BETTER BELIEVE EVERYBODY AND THEIR MAMA GONNA BE THERE. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? THERE’S GONNA BE BROTHERS, WHE BOYS, LATOS, WHATEVER. Y’KNOW WE GOT NIGGAS HANGG OM THE RAFTERS. SO, WE GOT LIKE 400-PL PACKED TO THIS TY LTLE PLACE-DENNIS: WOAH, WOAH WOAH, YOU SAID YOU HAD 400 PEOPLE PACKED TO A PLACE?TERRELL: YOU DAMN RIGHT I GOT 400 – THAT’S MY JOB, MAN. AND ’S MOSTLY LLEGE KIDS. YOU KNOW, MY SISTER GO TO TEMPLE, SO I GOT THE HOOKUP OVER THERE.MAC: AHH AND HOOKUPS ARE GOOD. BUT, JT TO BE CLEAR, WHEN YOU SAY YOUR SISTER, DO YOU MEAN YOUR SISTER OR YOUR IEND?DENNIS: DU.DEE: OH, J.TERRELL: I MEAN MY SISTER.MAC: OH, OK, OL. I WAS JT – BEE – HE ULD MEAN HIS IEND OF HIS SISTER AND I WAS JT-CHARLIE: STOP TALKG.TERRELL: SO WE’RE PACKG TO THIS LTLE BY PLACE OVER ON WALNUT, RIGHT? WE’RE HALFWAY THROUGH THE NIGHT, EVERYTHG’S GOG ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? ALL OF A SUDN, I NOTICE THIS DU EYEBALL’ ME OM ACROSS THE BAR.DENNIS: SH.TERRELL: AND I DON’T KNOW IF THIS DU WANTS TO EAK ME OR FIGHT ME. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYG?CHARLIE: HE’S GIVG YOU… HE’S GIVG YOU CRAZY EY.TERRELL: THE SANE, CRAZY EY. RIGHT?CHARLIE: I KNOW THAT.TERRELL: SO I WALK OVER TO THIS GUY. HE’S THIS BIG, CUT MEXIN DU AND I LOOK AT HIM AND I SAY “YO, E, UNLS YOU WANT TO GET YOUR ASS TORN APART… YOU’D BETTER GET THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE.”DEE: NO…MAC: YOU JT WALKED RIGHT UP TO HIM AND SAID THAT?TERRELL: I HAD TO, MAN. YOU GOTTA MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. ALWAYS MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYG?DENNIS: I KNOW.MAC: THAT’S SO BADASS.DEE: SO WHAT HAPPENED?TERRELL: WELL, HEY, HE WON’T STOP STARG ME DOWN AND WE’RE LIKE EYEBALL TO EYEBALL, HIS GRILL IS RIGHT UP ME. IT FEELS LIKE AN ETERNY SON, RIGHT? FALLY… HE JT OPENS UP HIS MOUTH AND SAYS “I GUS YOU GON’ HAVE TO TEAR MY ASS APART, HOLM.”CHARLIE: OH, MAN, SO WHAT DID YOU DO?TERRELL: TOOK HIM TO THE BACK ALLEY. AND I TORE HIS ASS APART.MAC: OH, MY GOD. THAT’S SANE!DEE, MAC, AND CHARLIE NTUE TO CHATTER WHILE TERRELL GLANC AT DENNIS.MAC: OKAY, WELL I WOULD LIKE TO DO THGS LIKE THAT.EXT. STREETCHARLIE, DENNIS AND MAC WALK OUTSI TOWARD A FFEE SHOP.MAC: I LOVE THAT GUY. “I TOOK HIM TO THE BACK ALLEY”? WHO DO SH LIKE THAT? IT’S LIKE A MOVIE.DENNIS: ALRIGHT, LM DOWN. DON’T GET TOO EXCED. THERE’S SOMETHG OFF ABOUT HIM.MAC: OH, BRO, THAT’S RACIST.DENNIS: NO, ASSHOLE, THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT.CHARLIE: I’LL GO UP AND GET THE FFEE, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT?DENNIS: DU. S DOWN, OKAY? WA TILL THE WARS OUT HERE AND THEN YOU N STARE AT HER. ALRIGHT?THE GUYS S DOWNCHARLIE: I WASN’T GOG TO STARE AT HER, I WAS JT-DENNIS: YOU WEREN’T GOG TO STARE? HE WASN’T GOG TO STARE AT HER. DU, YOU’RE LIKE TOTALLY OBSSED WH THAT CHICK.CHARLIE: NO, I’M NOT OBSSED. I LIKE HER. I HAVE A LTLE B OF A CSH, Y. BUT OBSSED? THAT’S A B OF A HARSH WORD.DENNIS: DU, ’S NEVER GOG TO HAPPEN.MAC: GUYS, LISTEN. HONTLY, I THK WE SHOULD THK ABOUT HIRG TERRELL.CHARLIE: WHY? FOR WHAT?MAC: YOU HEARD HIM! WHEN HE’S PROMOTG, EVERYBODY AND THEY MAMA’S LOOKG TO GET .CHARLIE: THAT’S TE, THEY DO HAVE “NIGGERS HANGG OM RAFTERS.”WARS WALKS OUT AND OVERHEARS HIMWAITRESS: WOW. NICE.CHARLIE: NO, THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS SAYG.WAITRESS: COFFEE?DENNIS: YEAH.WAITRESS: HLER?CHARLIE: NO, I’M NOT – I’M NOT ADOLF HLER.WAITRESS: I’LL MAKE SURE TO PUT LOTS OF CREAM YOURS.CHARLIE: NO, I WAS QUOTG A BLACK IEND OF ME.WAITRESS: OKAY.WARS WALKS OFFCHARLIE: WELL GREAT! WELL THAT’S JT GREAT! NOW SHE THKS I’M RACIST!DENNIS: DU, WILL YOU JT DROP ?MAC: LISTEN. IF TERRELL LIVERS HALF OF WHAT HE PROMIS, WE’RE LOOKG AT LIKE 200 PEOPLE.CHARLIE: YEAH, THAT’S TE.DENNIS: IT’D BE NICE TO GET SOME CHICKS THE BAR. ALRIGHT, LET’S DO .EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUSCHARLIE AND MAC WALK TOWARD THE STUNT UNNCHARLIE: YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?MAC: IT’S 2005, CHARLIE. DON’T YOU THK ’S A LTLE RIDICULO THAT YOU HAVE NO IENDS OUTSI OF YOUR OWN RACE?CHARLIE: NO, I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I THK IS RIDICULO. THIS STUPID PLAN.MAC: IT’S NOT A STUPID PLAN!CHARLIE: IT’S A STUPID PLAN.MAC: IT’S NOT – THIS IS A LLEGE MP, ALRIGHT? THIS IS A GREAT PLACE TO MEET PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT CULTUR, DIVERSY-CHARLIE: OH, THE ONLY THG – YOU’RE JT TRYG TO MAKE BLACK- MMM – YOU’RE TRYG TO MAKE BLACK IENDS.MAC: WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU’RE NOT MAKG VERY EASY.CHARLIE: YOU’RE TRYG TO IMPRS TERRELL WH A UPLE OF BLACK IENDS.MAC: STOP BEG A DICK.CHARLIE: HOW AM I BEG A DICK?MAC: DON’T DO THIS RIGHT NOW… DON’T DO THIS RIGHT NOW.CUT TO SI THE STUNT UNN. A GROUP OF BLACK STUNTS PLAYS DOMOS. MAC AND CHARLIE APPROACH.MAC: OK. SEE? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M TALKG ABOUT. THIS IS PERFECT.CHARLIE: HUH. YEAH.MAC: I’M GONNA BREAK THE ICE.CHARLIE: GO FOR .MAC WALKS UP TO A GAME OF DOMOS.STUNT: I’M ABOUT TO BT THAT SH UP, REECE. ‘BOUT TO BT THAT SH UP, BOY!MAC: ABSOLUTELY.STUNTS STARE AT MAC. HE SLOWLY WALKS AWAY.MAC: OK, THAT DIDN’T GO EXACTLY THE WAY I HAD PLANNED…CHARLIE: NO…MAC: IT WAS REALLY, REALLY AWKWARD.CHARLIE: REALLY AWKWARD.MAC: MAYBE WE SHOULD GO.CHARLIE: YEAH!GIRL WALKS UP TO THEM.GIRL: HEY, WHAT’S YOUR NAME?CHARLIE: OH, IT’S UH, CHARLIE.GIRL: DO YOU PLAY BON, CHARLIE?CHARLIE: I DABBLE.GIRL: DO YOU WANT TO PLAY? I ULD GET YOU A GAME.CHARLIE: AH, NO NO. I SHOULDN’T. I’M NOT REALLY GOOD.GIRL: I BET YOU’RE REALLY GOOD.CHARLIE: WELL, ’S BEEN A LONG TIME, YOU KNOW.GIRL: OH, E ON.CHARLIE: ALL RIGHT, MAYBE JT ONE GAME.CUT TO CHARLIE PLAYG DOMOS.CHARLIE: DOMINO, BIATCH!CHARLIE AND CROWD CHEER AND NGRATULATE HIMCUT TO MAC AND CHARLIE LEAVG THE STUNT UNN.MAC: THIS IS BULLSH. ABSOLUTE BULLSH. WHY DO THE PEOPLE LIKE YOU MORE THAN THEY LIKE ME?CHARLIE: OH, WOAH WOAH WOAH MAYBE ’S MENTS LIKE THAT.MAC: I MEANT THOSE PEOPLE THERE, NOT ALL BLACK PEOPLE. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT SUATN?CHARLIE: WELL, YOU SHOULD SAY SOMETHG DIFFERENT. FIGURE SOMETHG ELSE OUT.MAC: MAYBE YOU SHOULD NOT BE SO JUDGMENTAL, OKAY?JANELL WALKS UP BEHD CHARLIE AND MAC.JANELL: HEY.CHARLIE: HEY.JANELL: UM, I’M JANELL.CHARLIE: OH, HI.JANELL: UH, YOU GOT SOME MOV OUT THERE, CHARLIE.CHARLIE: THANKS, YOU KNOW.JANELL: I WANTED TO GIVE YOU THIS.JANELL HANDS CHARLIE A PIECE OF PAPER.CHARLIE: OH, OKAY.JANELL: GIVE ME A LL SOMETIME. ALL RIGHT?CHARLIE: YEAH. SURE.CHARLIE WHISTL AND THROWS ON THE GROUND. MAC PICKS UPMAC: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOG DU? THAT’S GIRL’S GEO? SHE’S LIKE THE PERFECT OPPORTUNY TO PROVE WE’RE NOT RACIST. SHE PROBABLY HAS IENDS FOR ME.CHARLIE: WELL, E ON, IF ANYTHG I THK WE SHOULD BE FOCED ON BLACK MEN, FIRST OF ALL.MAC: WHAT?CHARLIE: WELL, WE DON’T REALLY NEED. WE NEED BLACK GUYS, SO…MAC: BLACK GUYS? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKG ABOUT?CHARLIE: YOU KNOW.MAC: IS THIS ABOUT THAT WARS AT THE FFEE SHOP, DU? OH MY GOD, DU. YOU ARE OBSSED WH THIS CHICK!CHARLIE: NO, I’M NOT.MAC: LET ME SEE YOUR WALLET.CHARLIE: WHY?MAC: ARE YOU STILL RRYG A PICTURE OF HER YOUR WALLET?CHARLIE: NO.THE TWO BEG TO WRTLE FOR THE WALLET.MAC: JT GIVE . OH MY GOD STOP MAKG A SCENE! JT GIVE ME THE WALLET! GIVE ME THE WALLET! I N'T GET THE GODDAMN IT'S OKAY! IT'S OKAY, EVERYBODY! - YOU'RE MAKG A SCENE.CHARLIE: YOU'RE MAKG A SCENE!MAC: I GOT .. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. HOLD ON A SEND. HA! HA-HA! HA!CHARLIE: GIVE TO ME!MAC: HE HAD !CHARLIE: OKAY! YOU FOUND !MAC: I'M GONNA TEAR UP!CHARLIE: NO, DON'T! JT GIVE ME . I'LL LL THE BLACK GIRL. OKAY?MAC FISTBUMPS SOME SCHOLARSMAC: OKAY, BUDDY. WE'RE OL. WE'RE OL. WE'RE GOOD. THANKS, GUYS. SEE YA.INT. PADDY'S PUBDEE: I HAD THE CRAZIT DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT I WAS CLEVELAND, OH WHICH IS REALLY WEIRD, BEE I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO OH. THIS GUY WAS WEARG A BUNNY SU, AND HE WAS G OUTDENNIS: YOU KNOW WHAT, DEE? I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR DREAMS. OKAY? I HATE LISTENG TO PEOPLE'S DREAMS. IT'S LIKE FLIPPG THROUGH A STACK OF PHOTOGRAPHS. IF I'M NOT ANY OF'EM AND NOBODY'S HAVG SEX, I JT I DON'T RE.DEE: OH. I'M SORRY. I WOULD LISTEN TO YOUR DREAMS. 'CSE YOUR MY BROTHER AND I LOVE YOU.DENNIS: I'M SORRY. I AM.TERRELL ENTERSTERRELL: HEY! WHAT'S GO' ON, GUYS?DENNIS: TERRELL.DEE: HOW ARE YOU?DEE AND TERRELL KISSTERRELL: HEY! WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S UP? HOW YOU DO'? DENNIS! WHAT'S GO' ON? - ALL RIGHT, MAN.TERRELL GIV DENNIS A BROHUGDENNIS: HOW'S GO', MAN?TERRELL: GOOD, MAN. LISTEN, UM, YOU MD STEPPG OUTSI WH ME FOR A SEND, MAN?DENNIS: YEAH, I'LL E OUTSI.TERRELL: YEAH?DENNIS: YEAH.TERRELL: ALL RIGHT. WELL, E ON.DEE: I'M GONNA PUT THE OUT ON THE TABL.THEY STEP OUTSI, THERE'S A LE WH A LOT OF PEOPLETERRELL: RULE NUMBER ONE: ALWAYS KEEP A LE.DENNIS: OH, MY GOD! THAT IS A LOT OF PEOPLE!CUT TO THE BAR, STUFFED WH PEOPLEDENNIS: WOW! - THIS IS CRAZY!DEE: I KNOW! I TOLD YOU! TERRELL'S THE BT!THEY POUR DRKSDENNIS: I'M GONNA HAVE TO START BARTENDG FULL-TIME. L-LOOK AT THIS! (SHOWS JAR WH MONEY)DEE: WHY ARE YOU MAKG MORE MONEY THAN ME?DENNIS: I DON'T KNOW!MAC WALKS UP TO THE BARMAC: HEY, THIS IS CRAZY!DENNIS: I KNOW. TERRELL PACKED 'EM . LOOK AT THIS.CHARLIE ALSO WALKS UP TO THE BARCHARLIE: THIS IS CRAZY!DENNIS: YEAH, DU, WE WERE JT SAYG THAT.CHARLIE: LOT OF DUS.DENNIS: YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF DUS.MAC: LOT OF DUS.DEE WALKS TO SOME GUYS STANDG AT THE BARDEE: WHAT N I GET YOU BOYS?GUY: OH, UH, WE WANTED TO WA FOR THE CUTE ONE.DEE: WHAT CUTE ONE?HE POTS TO DENNISCUT TO MAC AND CHARLIECHARLIE: MAC, ISN'T THAT YOUR BRETT BY THE JEBOX?MAC: OH, YEAH!CHARLIE: LET'S GO SAY HEY.THEY WALK TO BRETTMAC: YO, BRETTIE BOY!BRETT:HEY, CUZ!MAC: HEY! HOW YOU DO'?CHARLIE: WHAT'S UP, BRETT? CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS CROWD?BRETT: OH, 'S SOMETHG ELSE!CUT TO DENNIS, WHO TALKS TO THE GUYS AT THE BARDENNIS: YEAH! GENTLEMEN, I UNRSTAND MY SERVIC HAVE BEEN REQUTED.THE GUY TAK DENNIS' HAND, DENNIS TAK HIS HAND AWAYGUY: I ACTUALLY GOT A UPLE OF SERVIC I'D LIKE TO REQUT.DENNIS: WHOA! UH, WHAT ARE YOU DO, MAN? I'M NOTGUY: YOU HAVE THE MOST BETIFUL EY.DENNIS: OKAY, MAN, BUT I'M REALLY?GUY: SO BLUE.DENNIS: REALLY MORE OF A BLUE-GREEN, ACTUALLY, BUTCUT TO BRETT AND MACBRETT:I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU, MAN.MAC: YEAH, THANKS.BRETT: YOU'VE E A LONG WAY.MAC: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?BRETT: YOU GUYS ARE NNG THE HOTTT GAY BAR PHILALPHIA.MAC AND CHARLIE LOOK NFED AT EACH OTHERINT. TERREL'S APARTMENTTERRELL OPENS THE DOOR FOR DEE, WHO KISS HIM AFTER SHE ENTERS - HE PH HER AWAYTERRELL: NO! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?DEE: HOW ULD YOU NOT TELL ME YOU WERE GAY?TERRELL: I'M A MIL THEATER ACTOR LIVG PHILALPHIA. I DIDN'T THK WAS THAT BIG A SECRET.DEE: I'VE BEEN G ON TO YOU FOR WEEKS NOW.TERRELL: JT THOUGHT YOU WERE TO GAY DUS.DEE: I AM NOT TO GAY DUS!TERRELL: APPARENTLY YOU ARE.DEE: OKAY, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? THE GUYS HIRED YOU TO PROMOTE THEIR BAR, AND YOU TURNED TO A GAY BAR. THEY ARE NOT HAPPY.CUT TO DENNIS AND CHARLIE, EXCED BEE OF THE MONEY THEY EARNEDDENNIS: SO MUCH MONEY! - WHOO! OH!CHARLIE: SO MUCH MONEY! WE MA MORE MONEY ONE NIGHT TH-DENNIS: THAN THE ENTIRE TIME THAT WE'VE OWNED THIS PLACE!CHARLIE: THIS IS GREAT. WE HAVE TO EMBRACE THE SUATN.DENNIS: WE SHOULD TOTALLY EMBRACE THE SUATN!CHARLIE: WE'RE A GAY BAR OM NOW ON.CUT TO THE GUYS AND DEE, STG AT THE FFEE SHOPMAC: ABSOLUTELY, MAN! NO GODDAMN WAY. HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THIS? (READS A PAPER) "LOOKG FOR THAT NEW HOT SPOT TO SPOT THAT STUD? WELL, PADDY'S IRISH PUB HAS PLUGGED THAT HOLE."CHARLIE: THAT'S A NICE NOTICE.MAC: NO, 'S NOT NICE. I DON'T WANT TO BE PLUGGG ANYBODY'S HOL.DEE: I'M GONNA HAVE TO AGREE WH MAC.DENNIS: OF URSE YOU ARE. I MA $300 LAST NIGHT. HOW MUCH DID YOU MAKE?DEE: FIRST OF ALL, THAT'S . AND THAT HAS NOTHG TO DO WH WHAT I'M TALKG ABOUT.DENNIS: IT HAS EVERYTHG TO DO WH .CHARLIE: LISTEN GUYS. I DON'T THK WE HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE.WE NEED TO DO THIS.MAC: IF YOU GUYS REMEMBER, ONE OF THE MAJOR REASONS WE GOT THIS BAR WAS TO GET LAID.CHARLIE: MAYBE YOU DID TO GET LAID. I GOT A LTLE SOMETHG I LIKE TO LL BS ETHICS.MAC: BS ETHICS? CHARLIE, THE ONLY REASON YOU DON'T RE IS YOU HAVE BLACK GIRLS HANGG ALL OVER YOU FOR NO REASON.THEY ALL LOOK AROUNDMAC: OKAY, CHILL OUT. YOU'RE GONNA SCREW UP.CHARLIE: SCREW UP? I HAPPEN TO HAVE A DATE WH THE NICE YOUNG LADY TODAY. (PRETENDS TO SHOOT MAC) OUCH.DENNIS: LOOK YOU GUYS. IT'S A PURELY FISL CISN.DEE: OH, BULLSH. YOU DON'T RE ABOUT THE MONEY. YOU JT LIKE THE ATTENTN.DENNIS: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?DEE: "EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME!" YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN, PRETTY BOY.CUT TO PADDY'S PUB, SEVERAL MEN PLIMENT DENNIS- HEY, HANDSOME.- HEY, BETIFUL.- HEY, SEXY.- HEY, HOSS.CUT BACK TO THE TABLEDENNIS: I JT GET ALONG REALLY WELL WH THOSE GUYS.CHARLIE: THEY'RE VIBG.DEE: NO, YOU'RE LEADG THEM ON. YOU'RE NOT GAY, YOU'RE JT REALLY VA.CHARLIE: OKAY, TIME OUT. HERE'S WHAT WE SHOULD DO. LET'S TAKE A VOTE.DEE: FE.MAC: OKAY.CHARLIE: ALL THOSE FAVOR OF PADDY'S PUB REMAG A GAY BAR, SAY "AYE".DENNIS + CHARLIE: AYE.CHARLIE: OPPOSED?DENNIS: K-K-KEEPG MD THAT YOU (POTS AT DEE) DON'T GET A VOTE.DEE: WHY?DENNIS: BEE YOU'RE THE BARTENR. YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THE OWNERS. (CHARLIE REPEATS HIM)MAC: NO, SWEET DEE GETS A VOTE.DENNIS: NO, SHE DON'T!DEE: OF URSE I GET A VOTE! ALL OWNERS OPPOSED, SAY "NAY.THEY ALL TALK THROUGH EACHOTHERCHARLIE: ALL PEOPLE WHO OWN THE BAR WHO ARE OPPOSED, SAY "NAY. ALL PEOPLE WHO OWN THE BAR WHO ARE OPPOSED SAY "NAY.MAC: NAY.CHARLIE TWO AGAST ONE! OH, WELL. OHH! PADDY'S IRISH PUB WILL HENCEFORTH REMA THE HOTTT GAY BAR PHILALPHIA.EXT. JANELL'S HOUSEJANELL: HEY-HEY! WHAT'S GOG ON?CHARLIE: HEY! - LOOK AT YOU! YOU LOOK GOOD!JANELL: OH, THANK YOU. THAT'S SO SWEET. SO, WHERE WE GOG?CHARLIE: WELL, I THOUGHT WE'D GO GRAB A DRK.JANELL: OH, I WANT ONE SO BAD.CHARLIE: ALL RIGHTY!CUT TO THE FFEE SHOPJANELL: OH, A FFEE SHOP. I THOUGHT YOU MEANT, LIKE, A DRK AT A BAR.CHARLIE: YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. (CHARLIE HOLDS A CHAIR FOR JANELL) UH, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A SEAT HERE. I'LL GO GET THE FFEE. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?JANELL: I DON'T REALLY DRK FFEE. LET ME SEE.CHARLIE: TOTALLYHE WALKS TO THE UNTER, WHERE THE WARS ISWAITRESS: WHAT DO YOU WANT, CHARLIE?CHARLIE: "WHAT DO YOU WANT, CHARLIE?" I'D LIKE YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE LOVELY YOUNG AIN-AMERIN WOMAN STG AT THE TABLE OVER THERE. (POTS AT JANELL)WAITRESS: OKAY.CHARLIE: THAT WOMAN IS MY IEND.WAITRESS: WOW. GOOD FOR YOU.CHARLIE: SO, THE OTHER DAY WHEN YOU HEARD ME SAYG SOMETHG ABOUT CERTA PEOPLE HANGG OM SAID RAFTERS I WAS QUOTG A IEND OF ME WHO ALSO HAPPENSWAITRESS: (TERPTS CHARLIE) WHAT ARE YOU TRYG TO SAY? SP OUT.CHARLIE: WELL, NOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT I'M NOT RACIST, YOU AND I ULD MAYBE GO ONWAITRESS: DU, N-O. HOW MANY TIM DO I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU?CHARLIE: ONE TIME IS FE.WAITRESS: APPARENTLY ONE TIME IS NOT FE.CHARLIE: ONE TIME PER TIME I ASK YOU.JANELL WALKS TO THEMJANELL: HEY, WHAT'S GOG ON UP HERE?WAITRESS: OH, NOT TOO MUCH. CHARLIE'S G YOU TO PROVE THAT HE'S NOT RACIST. THEN HE ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE.JANELL: CHARLIE, IS THIS TE?CHARLIE: WOULD THAT UPSET YOU IF WAS SOMETHG THAT WAS TE?CUT TO PADDY'S PUB, CHARLIE IS TAKEN RE OF BY DEEDEE: CHARLIE, I THK YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR. THIS THG LOOKS REALLY BAD.CHARLIE: I DID!DEE: WHAT'D HE SAY?CHARLIE: HE SAID THAT JANELL PUNCHED ME MY EYE!DEE: ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU NEED TO KEEP THAT EYE - WA. HER NAME'S JANELL?CHARLIE: YEAH. JANELL JENKS. SHE'S GOT A HELL OF A RIGHT HAND. SHE ALSO SAID IF SHE EVER SAW ME AGA, SHE WAS GOG TO SL MY THROAT.MAC WALKS UP TO THEMMAC: ARE YOU TWO SEEG THIS?CUT TO DENNIS, WHO IS SERVG DRKS A SLEEVELS SHIRTDENNIS: BOYS ARE OUT TONIGHT, HUH?MAC: THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. WHAT THE HELL IS GOG ON HERE? YOU GOT BLACK WOMEN CRAWLG ALL OVER YOU AND THIS MARY HERE IS THE BELLE OF THE BALL. WHY DO THE PEOPLE LIKE YOU GUYS SO MUCH?CHARLIE: IT'S NOT THAT THEY LIKE . IT'S THAT THEY DON'T LIKE YOU. YOU KNOW WHY? UH, BEE YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!CHARLIE WALKS AWAYCUT TO THE BACK OF THE BAR, MAC AND DEE ENTER THE ROOMMAC: WHAT'S UP?CEE: YOU KNOW THAT GIRL JANELL? I KNOW HER.MAC: OKAY. SO WHAT?DEE: SO I THK I KNOW HOW WE N SOLVE THIS WHOLE GAY MS.MAC: GREAT. HOW?DEE: FIRST. WE GOTTA START WH DENNIS. CAN YOU GET HIM SO DNK TONIGHT? ON TEQUILA. BUT LIKE A LOT OF . ENOUGH THAT MAYBE HE MIGHT HURT HIMSELF.MAC: YEAH, SURE. NO PROBLEM.DEE: ALL RIGHT.MAC: WHERE ARE YOU GOG?DEE: I GOTTA TALK TO A UPLE IENDS OM MY ACTG CLASS. BUT SERLY BLACKOUT DNK.DEE LEAVCUT TO THE BAR, MAC IS GIVG DENNIS SHOTSMAC: ALL RIGHT. OKAY. SO YOU DID THE LIME FIRST, AND THEN THE SHOT, RIGHT?DENNIS: NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. DU. YOU TAKE THE SALT - TAKE THE SALT. AND THEN YOU TAKE THE SHOT.MAC: OKAY.DENNIS: AND THEN YOU SUCK ON THE LIME. OKAY?MAC: OKAY. WHY DON'T YOU SHOW ME AGA. 'CSE I'M GETTG A LTLE B NFED.DENNIS: YOU LICK .MAC: SALT. LICK .DENNIS: AND THEN YOU SLAM .DENNIS TAK ANOTHER SHOTMAC: YEAH? OH, THAT'S GREAT. ALL RIGHT, SO, I'M GONNA DO THE SHOT FIRSTDENNIS: NO, NO, NO, NO OH OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, DU. YOU'RE NOT LISTENG TO ME.MAC: WELL, I'M JT NOT GETTG , BRO.DENNIS: YOU DO THE SALT FIRST.MAC: THE SALT FIRST.DENNIS: AND THEN THE LIME.MAC: SHOW ME AGA, BEE I'M NOT- THE SALT FIRST. THEN THE LIME.DENNIS: OH, GOD.DENNIS FATSCUT TO DENNIS BED - WAKG UP BEE OF AN ALARM CLOCKNEXT TO THE CLOCK, THERE'S AN ED NDOM, HE SE A WOMEN LYG NEXT TO HIMDENNIS: HELLO. MMM. (LOOKS AT HER BOTTOM) NICE. (LOOKS AT HIS BOTTOM) BETIFUL.DENNIS HUGS THE WOMAN, WHO TURNS OUT TO BE A MANMAN: HELLO, LOVER.DENNIS JUMPS OM THE BEDDENNIS: WHOA! WHAT THE HELL! WHAT IS GOG ON HERE?MAN: RELAX, STUD. YOU GOT NOTHG TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT.DENNIS: WHAT THE F- WHAT DO THAT MEAN? - DID WE HAVE -MAN: NO. NO. DON'T BE SILLY. IT WAS ALL HANDS.ANOTHER GUT WALKS UP TO DENNIS AND SLAPS HIS ASSMAN 2: HOW'S THAT ASS FEEL'?CUT TO PADDY'S PUBCHARLIE AND MAC ARE PLAYG DARTSCHARLIE: I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CID TO EMBRACE THIS. YOU'RE DOG THE RIGHT THG, BRO.MAC: I THK SO TOO, DU. I FEEL REALLY GOOD ABOUT BROANG MY HORIZONS.CHARLIE: IT'S GONNA BE FUN. IT'S A GOOD BS CISN.DENNIS WALKS DENNIS: YEAH! I DON'T WANT TO OWN A GAY BAR ANYMORE.CHARLIE: WHAT, DU?MAC: OH, NO. WHAT HAPPENED?DENNIS: JT, UH I WAS DOG SOME THKG AND, YOU KNOW. I THK WE HAD OUR LTLE EXPERIMENT. IT WAS GREAT. BUT WE SHOULD GO BACK TO NORMAL.MAC: OH. YOU HAD AN EXPERIMENT, AND YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO THE WAY WAS BEFORE THE EXPERIMENT. INTERTG.DENNIS: THE BAR. WE HAD OUR EXPERIMENT WH THE BAR, AND WAS GREAT.LET'S GO BACK TO NORMAL.MAC: YOU'RE DONE EXPERIMENTG? OR ARE YOU GONNA EXPERIMENT SOME MORE? -CHARLIE: WHAT IS THIS EXPERIMENTG?TERELL WALKS TERELL: HEY, DENNIS! WHAT'S UP? LISTEN, I GOT YOU SOME NEW CDS. 'CSE THE MIC YOU HAD THE JEBOX WAS A LTLE B STALE. ALSO, WE GOTTA GET RID OF THE SHAMROCKS. 'CSE NOTHG SR GAYS AND BLACK FOLKS LIKE IRISH CRAP.DENNIS: CAN WE TALK FOR A SEND PRIVATE?TERELL: YEAH. NO PROBLEM.DENNIS: SO, LISTEN, TERRELL, 'S NOT REALLY WORKG OUT. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO LET YOU GO.TERELL: I DON'T UNRSTAND - I THOUGHT YOU WERE HAPPY.MAC: NO, WE WERE HAPPY. BUT THEN DENNIS HAD AN EXPERIMENT, AND HE WANTS TO GO BACK TO NORMAL.DENNIS: YEAH, WE HAD THAT EXPERIMENT WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYG LIKE THAT? YOU GUYS ARE BEG RIDICULO.CHARLIE: YEAH, WE'RE BEG RIDICULO! WE'RE MAKG A LOT OF MONEY!TERELL: Y! THANK YOU!MAC: LOOK, EVERYBODY! SWEET DEE'S HERE!DEE WALKS WH JENELLDEE: HEY, EVERYBODY!CHARLIE: WHOA! WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOG HERE?JENELL: CHARLIE?DENNIS: WHAT IS GOG ON HERE? YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?CHARLIE: YEAH! THAT'S THE CRAZY BCH THAT PUNCHED ME MY EYE!TERRELL: CHARLIE! THAT'S MY SISTER.MAC: NOW, JT TO CLARIFY, WHEN YOU SAY "SISTER," YOU MEAN-TERRELL: I MEAN MY SISTER.MAC: Y! OKAY! THIS IS GREAT! BEE EARLIER YOU WERE IMPLYG THAT I WAS RACIST BEE YOU THOUGHT THAT I WAS IMPLYG THAT ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE RELATED. AND THEN TURNS OUT THAT YOU PEOPLE ACTUALLY ARE! (THEY ALL LOOK IRRATED) NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. HOLD ON A SEND. I MEANT THAT YOU TWO ACTUALLY ARE.DEE: MAC? STOP TALK'.INT. PADDY'S PUBDEE AND MAC ARE UNTG THE PROFDEE: HUNDRED AND 11, HUNDRED AND 12, HUNDRED AND 13 $114!MAC: ON A SATURDAY NIGHT!DEE: WE'RE BACK TO NORMAL.THEY BOTH DRKMAC: WE ARE BACK TO NORMAL. MMM. DEE, I GOTTA KNOW. WHAT, EXACTLY, DID YOU TELL THOSE GUYS OM YOUR ACTG CLASS TO DO TO DENNIS? OH, I FOT TO TELL YOU. THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT.MAC: WHAT?DEE: YEAH, I ULDN'T GET AHOLD OF THOSE GUYS.MAC: THEN WHY WAS HE SO EAKED OUT?FLASHBACK TO DENNISMAN 2: HOW'S THAT ASS FEEL'?END OF EPISODE5EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT
• HOW TO BEE POPULAR AT A GAY BAR
• GAY BARELECTRIC SIXTRACK 8 ON FIRE  PRODUCED BYSTUART BRADBURY & DAMIEN MENDISMAY. 20, 20031 VIEWER48.6K VIEWS14 CONTRIBUTORSGAY BAR LYRICSGIRL!I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BARI WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BARI WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BARLET'S START A WAR, START A NUCLEAR WARAT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BARWOW!AT THE GAY BARNOW TELL ME DO YA, A DO YA HAVE ANY MONEY?I WANNA SPEND ALL YOUR MONEYAT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BARI'VE GOT SOMETHG TO PUT YOUI'VE GOT SOMETHG TO PUT YOUI'VE GOT SOMETHG TO PUT YOUAT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BARWOW!YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, AT THE GAY BARYOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, AT THE GAY BARYEAH! YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, AT THE GAY BARYOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, AT THE GAY BARSUPERSTARSUPER, SUPER, SUPERSTARYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE3EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT
• DID ANDREW WIGGS LL DENNIS SCHROR ‘GAY’? HE SAYS NO. VIO SUGGTS Y.
• QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT-ACTG GUY: THE PERFORMANCE OF MASCULY GAY YOUTH CULTURE AND POPULAR CULTURE

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

On June 28, 1969, officers and tectiv om the New York Police Department raid the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar Greenwich Village. The turmoil me after years of police harassment of LGBTQ bars and an anti-gay legal system rife wh homophobia. In the early- to mid-’60s, you uld pretty much unt the total number of lol gay and lbian spots on one hand.

Long before there was Phoenix Pri, a Melrose district, or anyone g the phrase “gayborhood, ” the Valley’s LGBTQ bar landspe was virtually nonexistent. Marshall Shore, “Arizona’s Hip Historian” and project manager for the Arizona LGBT+ History Project: Pre-Stonewall, Phoenix was very different for gays and lbians. It was one of those bsmen lunch plac, but then, at night, beme a gay bar.

There was also Capta’s Table, which was a gay bar on Seventh Street [and Missouri Avenue], but that would’ve been like the hterlands of Phoenix at that pot. It was a good place to meet people, a neighborhood bar that people knew was a gay bar. Moody: Capta’s Table was like a much smaller crowd, and, basilly, the neighborhood had a lot of gay people at that time.

THE GANG GETS RACISTIT’S ALWAYS SUNNY PHILALPHIATRACK 1 ON SEASON 1 SCRIPTS A TRANSCRIPT OF THE FIRST EPISO OM IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILALPHIA, “THE GANG GETS RACIST”.AUG. 4, 20051 VIEWER7.8K VIEWS8 CONTRIBUTORSTHE GANG GETS RACIST LYRICSINT. PADDY'S PUBDENNIS, MAC, AND CHARLIE ARE CLEANG UP.DENNIS: ANOTHER BIG NIGHT, FELLAS. 164 DOLLARS AND 87 CENTSMAC: THAT’S NOT A LOT OF MONEY.DENNIS: NO, ISN’T. AND OUR MORTGAGE IS DUE TWO WEEKS.MAC: NO, WE PAID THAT LIKE A WEEK AGO.DENNIS: A WEEK AGO WAS THREE WEEKS LATE, MAC.DEE ENTERSDEE: HEY GUYS. SO I MET THIS GUY MY ACTG CLASS AND HE’S REALLY OL AND HE WANTS TO SEE WHERE I WORK, SO ULD YOU GUYS TRY TO NOT BE WEIRD?MAC: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?DEE: Y’KNOW, I LOVE YOU GUYS VERY MUCH, BUT SOMETIM YOU’RE NOT THAT OL.DENNIS: WE’RE OL!MAC: NOT OL?DEE: TRY TO BE OL.DENNIS: OK, WE’LL TRY.CHARLIE: SOMETIM, YOU’RE NOT TOO OL.DEE: CHARLIE…DENNIS: WE’RE ALWAYS OL, MAN.TERRELL ENTERSDENNIS: OH HEY MAN, WE’RE CLOSED.TERRELL: YEAH, I KNOW.MAC: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, WE DON’T WANT ANY TROUBLE.TERRELL: WHAT?DEE: GUYS, THIS IS TERRELL… OM MY ACTG CLASS.MAC: YEAH… YEAH…DENNIS: HEY MAN, HOW’S GOG?TERRELL: IT’S GOG GOOD. HOW YOU DOG?DENNIS: GOOD, MAN. WE’RE JT… WE’RE JT CHILL, DU.MAC: GREAT. JT CLOSG UP SHOP.CHARLIE: YEAH.TERRELL: GUS YOU GUYS DON’T HAVE TOO MANY BROTHERS WALKG THROUGH HERE.MAC: OH NO, WE HAVE PLENTY OF BROTHERS.DENNIS: YEAH – AIN AMERINS.DEE: YEAH, WE GET .MAC: YOU MIGHT KNOW SOME OF THEM.TERRELL: YEAH, WE’RE PROBABLY RELATED.MAC: NO. NO. I WASN’T IMPLYG THAT…DENNIS: I DON’T THK HE WAS IMPLYG THAT YOU GUYS ARE ALL RELATED. THAT’S RIDICULO. Y’KNOW SWEET DEE ME HERE A SEND AGO AND SHE STARTED TALKG ABOUT ACTG CLASS. AND, Y’KNOW WE WEREN’T EXPECTG YOU –MAC: WE WEREN’T EXPECTG YOU TO BE BLACK. THAT’S ALL.TERRELL: RIGHT.AN AWKWARD SILENCEDEE: THANKS, GUYS.TITLE SEQUENCEINT PADDY'S PUBTERRELL, DEE, CHARLIE, MAC, AND DENNIS DRKG BEER AT A TABLE.TERRELL: YOU KNOW, WHEN I’M PROMOTG, YOU BETTER BELIEVE EVERYBODY AND THEIR MAMA GONNA BE THERE. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? THERE’S GONNA BE BROTHERS, WHE BOYS, LATOS, WHATEVER. Y’KNOW WE GOT NIGGAS HANGG OM THE RAFTERS. SO, WE GOT LIKE 400-PL PACKED TO THIS TY LTLE PLACE-DENNIS: WOAH, WOAH WOAH, YOU SAID YOU HAD 400 PEOPLE PACKED TO A PLACE?TERRELL: YOU DAMN RIGHT I GOT 400 – THAT’S MY JOB, MAN. AND ’S MOSTLY LLEGE KIDS. YOU KNOW, MY SISTER GO TO TEMPLE, SO I GOT THE HOOKUP OVER THERE.MAC: AHH AND HOOKUPS ARE GOOD. BUT, JT TO BE CLEAR, WHEN YOU SAY YOUR SISTER, DO YOU MEAN YOUR SISTER OR YOUR IEND?DENNIS: DU.DEE: OH, J.TERRELL: I MEAN MY SISTER.MAC: OH, OK, OL. I WAS JT – BEE – HE ULD MEAN HIS IEND OF HIS SISTER AND I WAS JT-CHARLIE: STOP TALKG.TERRELL: SO WE’RE PACKG TO THIS LTLE BY PLACE OVER ON WALNUT, RIGHT? WE’RE HALFWAY THROUGH THE NIGHT, EVERYTHG’S GOG ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? ALL OF A SUDN, I NOTICE THIS DU EYEBALL’ ME OM ACROSS THE BAR.DENNIS: SH.TERRELL: AND I DON’T KNOW IF THIS DU WANTS TO EAK ME OR FIGHT ME. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYG?CHARLIE: HE’S GIVG YOU… HE’S GIVG YOU CRAZY EY.TERRELL: THE SANE, CRAZY EY. RIGHT?CHARLIE: I KNOW THAT.TERRELL: SO I WALK OVER TO THIS GUY. HE’S THIS BIG, CUT MEXIN DU AND I LOOK AT HIM AND I SAY “YO, E, UNLS YOU WANT TO GET YOUR ASS TORN APART… YOU’D BETTER GET THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE.”DEE: NO…MAC: YOU JT WALKED RIGHT UP TO HIM AND SAID THAT?TERRELL: I HAD TO, MAN. YOU GOTTA MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. ALWAYS MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYG?DENNIS: I KNOW.MAC: THAT’S SO BADASS.DEE: SO WHAT HAPPENED?TERRELL: WELL, HEY, HE WON’T STOP STARG ME DOWN AND WE’RE LIKE EYEBALL TO EYEBALL, HIS GRILL IS RIGHT UP ME. IT FEELS LIKE AN ETERNY SON, RIGHT? FALLY… HE JT OPENS UP HIS MOUTH AND SAYS “I GUS YOU GON’ HAVE TO TEAR MY ASS APART, HOLM.”CHARLIE: OH, MAN, SO WHAT DID YOU DO?TERRELL: TOOK HIM TO THE BACK ALLEY. AND I TORE HIS ASS APART.MAC: OH, MY GOD. THAT’S SANE!DEE, MAC, AND CHARLIE NTUE TO CHATTER WHILE TERRELL GLANC AT DENNIS.MAC: OKAY, WELL I WOULD LIKE TO DO THGS LIKE THAT.EXT. STREETCHARLIE, DENNIS AND MAC WALK OUTSI TOWARD A FFEE SHOP.MAC: I LOVE THAT GUY. “I TOOK HIM TO THE BACK ALLEY”? WHO DO SH LIKE THAT? IT’S LIKE A MOVIE.DENNIS: ALRIGHT, LM DOWN. DON’T GET TOO EXCED. THERE’S SOMETHG OFF ABOUT HIM.MAC: OH, BRO, THAT’S RACIST.DENNIS: NO, ASSHOLE, THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT.CHARLIE: I’LL GO UP AND GET THE FFEE, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT?DENNIS: DU. S DOWN, OKAY? WA TILL THE WARS OUT HERE AND THEN YOU N STARE AT HER. ALRIGHT?THE GUYS S DOWNCHARLIE: I WASN’T GOG TO STARE AT HER, I WAS JT-DENNIS: YOU WEREN’T GOG TO STARE? HE WASN’T GOG TO STARE AT HER. DU, YOU’RE LIKE TOTALLY OBSSED WH THAT CHICK.CHARLIE: NO, I’M NOT OBSSED. I LIKE HER. I HAVE A LTLE B OF A CSH, Y. BUT OBSSED? THAT’S A B OF A HARSH WORD.DENNIS: DU, ’S NEVER GOG TO HAPPEN.MAC: GUYS, LISTEN. HONTLY, I THK WE SHOULD THK ABOUT HIRG TERRELL.CHARLIE: WHY? FOR WHAT?MAC: YOU HEARD HIM! WHEN HE’S PROMOTG, EVERYBODY AND THEY MAMA’S LOOKG TO GET .CHARLIE: THAT’S TE, THEY DO HAVE “NIGGERS HANGG OM RAFTERS.”WARS WALKS OUT AND OVERHEARS HIMWAITRESS: WOW. NICE.CHARLIE: NO, THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS SAYG.WAITRESS: COFFEE?DENNIS: YEAH.WAITRESS: HLER?CHARLIE: NO, I’M NOT – I’M NOT ADOLF HLER.WAITRESS: I’LL MAKE SURE TO PUT LOTS OF CREAM YOURS.CHARLIE: NO, I WAS QUOTG A BLACK IEND OF ME.WAITRESS: OKAY.WARS WALKS OFFCHARLIE: WELL GREAT! WELL THAT’S JT GREAT! NOW SHE THKS I’M RACIST!DENNIS: DU, WILL YOU JT DROP ?MAC: LISTEN. IF TERRELL LIVERS HALF OF WHAT HE PROMIS, WE’RE LOOKG AT LIKE 200 PEOPLE.CHARLIE: YEAH, THAT’S TE.DENNIS: IT’D BE NICE TO GET SOME CHICKS THE BAR. ALRIGHT, LET’S DO .EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUSCHARLIE AND MAC WALK TOWARD THE STUNT UNNCHARLIE: YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?MAC: IT’S 2005, CHARLIE. DON’T YOU THK ’S A LTLE RIDICULO THAT YOU HAVE NO IENDS OUTSI OF YOUR OWN RACE?CHARLIE: NO, I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I THK IS RIDICULO. THIS STUPID PLAN.MAC: IT’S NOT A STUPID PLAN!CHARLIE: IT’S A STUPID PLAN.MAC: IT’S NOT – THIS IS A LLEGE MP, ALRIGHT? THIS IS A GREAT PLACE TO MEET PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT CULTUR, DIVERSY-CHARLIE: OH, THE ONLY THG – YOU’RE JT TRYG TO MAKE BLACK- MMM – YOU’RE TRYG TO MAKE BLACK IENDS.MAC: WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU’RE NOT MAKG VERY EASY.CHARLIE: YOU’RE TRYG TO IMPRS TERRELL WH A UPLE OF BLACK IENDS.MAC: STOP BEG A DICK.CHARLIE: HOW AM I BEG A DICK?MAC: DON’T DO THIS RIGHT NOW… DON’T DO THIS RIGHT NOW.CUT TO SI THE STUNT UNN. A GROUP OF BLACK STUNTS PLAYS DOMOS. MAC AND CHARLIE APPROACH.MAC: OK. SEE? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M TALKG ABOUT. THIS IS PERFECT.CHARLIE: HUH. YEAH.MAC: I’M GONNA BREAK THE ICE.CHARLIE: GO FOR .MAC WALKS UP TO A GAME OF DOMOS.STUNT: I’M ABOUT TO BT THAT SH UP, REECE. ‘BOUT TO BT THAT SH UP, BOY!MAC: ABSOLUTELY.STUNTS STARE AT MAC. HE SLOWLY WALKS AWAY.MAC: OK, THAT DIDN’T GO EXACTLY THE WAY I HAD PLANNED…CHARLIE: NO…MAC: IT WAS REALLY, REALLY AWKWARD.CHARLIE: REALLY AWKWARD.MAC: MAYBE WE SHOULD GO.CHARLIE: YEAH!GIRL WALKS UP TO THEM.GIRL: HEY, WHAT’S YOUR NAME?CHARLIE: OH, IT’S UH, CHARLIE.GIRL: DO YOU PLAY BON, CHARLIE?CHARLIE: I DABBLE.GIRL: DO YOU WANT TO PLAY? I ULD GET YOU A GAME.CHARLIE: AH, NO NO. I SHOULDN’T. I’M NOT REALLY GOOD.GIRL: I BET YOU’RE REALLY GOOD.CHARLIE: WELL, ’S BEEN A LONG TIME, YOU KNOW.GIRL: OH, E ON.CHARLIE: ALL RIGHT, MAYBE JT ONE GAME.CUT TO CHARLIE PLAYG DOMOS.CHARLIE: DOMINO, BIATCH!CHARLIE AND CROWD CHEER AND NGRATULATE HIMCUT TO MAC AND CHARLIE LEAVG THE STUNT UNN.MAC: THIS IS BULLSH. ABSOLUTE BULLSH. WHY DO THE PEOPLE LIKE YOU MORE THAN THEY LIKE ME?CHARLIE: OH, WOAH WOAH WOAH MAYBE ’S MENTS LIKE THAT.MAC: I MEANT THOSE PEOPLE THERE, NOT ALL BLACK PEOPLE. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT SUATN?CHARLIE: WELL, YOU SHOULD SAY SOMETHG DIFFERENT. FIGURE SOMETHG ELSE OUT.MAC: MAYBE YOU SHOULD NOT BE SO JUDGMENTAL, OKAY?JANELL WALKS UP BEHD CHARLIE AND MAC.JANELL: HEY.CHARLIE: HEY.JANELL: UM, I’M JANELL.CHARLIE: OH, HI.JANELL: UH, YOU GOT SOME MOV OUT THERE, CHARLIE.CHARLIE: THANKS, YOU KNOW.JANELL: I WANTED TO GIVE YOU THIS.JANELL HANDS CHARLIE A PIECE OF PAPER.CHARLIE: OH, OKAY.JANELL: GIVE ME A LL SOMETIME. ALL RIGHT?CHARLIE: YEAH. SURE.CHARLIE WHISTL AND THROWS ON THE GROUND. MAC PICKS UPMAC: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOG DU? THAT’S GIRL’S GEO? SHE’S LIKE THE PERFECT OPPORTUNY TO PROVE WE’RE NOT RACIST. SHE PROBABLY HAS IENDS FOR ME.CHARLIE: WELL, E ON, IF ANYTHG I THK WE SHOULD BE FOCED ON BLACK MEN, FIRST OF ALL.MAC: WHAT?CHARLIE: WELL, WE DON’T REALLY NEED. WE NEED BLACK GUYS, SO…MAC: BLACK GUYS? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKG ABOUT?CHARLIE: YOU KNOW.MAC: IS THIS ABOUT THAT WARS AT THE FFEE SHOP, DU? OH MY GOD, DU. YOU ARE OBSSED WH THIS CHICK!CHARLIE: NO, I’M NOT.MAC: LET ME SEE YOUR WALLET.CHARLIE: WHY?MAC: ARE YOU STILL RRYG A PICTURE OF HER YOUR WALLET?CHARLIE: NO.THE TWO BEG TO WRTLE FOR THE WALLET.MAC: JT GIVE . OH MY GOD STOP MAKG A SCENE! JT GIVE ME THE WALLET! GIVE ME THE WALLET! I N'T GET THE GODDAMN IT'S OKAY! IT'S OKAY, EVERYBODY! - YOU'RE MAKG A SCENE.CHARLIE: YOU'RE MAKG A SCENE!MAC: I GOT .. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. HOLD ON A SEND. HA! HA-HA! HA!CHARLIE: GIVE TO ME!MAC: HE HAD !CHARLIE: OKAY! YOU FOUND !MAC: I'M GONNA TEAR UP!CHARLIE: NO, DON'T! JT GIVE ME . I'LL LL THE BLACK GIRL. OKAY?MAC FISTBUMPS SOME SCHOLARSMAC: OKAY, BUDDY. WE'RE OL. WE'RE OL. WE'RE GOOD. THANKS, GUYS. SEE YA.INT. PADDY'S PUBDEE: I HAD THE CRAZIT DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT I WAS CLEVELAND, OH WHICH IS REALLY WEIRD, BEE I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO OH. THIS GUY WAS WEARG A BUNNY SU, AND HE WAS G OUTDENNIS: YOU KNOW WHAT, DEE? I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR DREAMS. OKAY? I HATE LISTENG TO PEOPLE'S DREAMS. IT'S LIKE FLIPPG THROUGH A STACK OF PHOTOGRAPHS. IF I'M NOT ANY OF'EM AND NOBODY'S HAVG SEX, I JT I DON'T RE.DEE: OH. I'M SORRY. I WOULD LISTEN TO YOUR DREAMS. 'CSE YOUR MY BROTHER AND I LOVE YOU.DENNIS: I'M SORRY. I AM.TERRELL ENTERSTERRELL: HEY! WHAT'S GO' ON, GUYS?DENNIS: TERRELL.DEE: HOW ARE YOU?DEE AND TERRELL KISSTERRELL: HEY! WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S UP? HOW YOU DO'? DENNIS! WHAT'S GO' ON? - ALL RIGHT, MAN.TERRELL GIV DENNIS A BROHUGDENNIS: HOW'S GO', MAN?TERRELL: GOOD, MAN. LISTEN, UM, YOU MD STEPPG OUTSI WH ME FOR A SEND, MAN?DENNIS: YEAH, I'LL E OUTSI.TERRELL: YEAH?DENNIS: YEAH.TERRELL: ALL RIGHT. WELL, E ON.DEE: I'M GONNA PUT THE OUT ON THE TABL.THEY STEP OUTSI, THERE'S A LE WH A LOT OF PEOPLETERRELL: RULE NUMBER ONE: ALWAYS KEEP A LE.DENNIS: OH, MY GOD! THAT IS A LOT OF PEOPLE!CUT TO THE BAR, STUFFED WH PEOPLEDENNIS: WOW! - THIS IS CRAZY!DEE: I KNOW! I TOLD YOU! TERRELL'S THE BT!THEY POUR DRKSDENNIS: I'M GONNA HAVE TO START BARTENDG FULL-TIME. L-LOOK AT THIS! (SHOWS JAR WH MONEY)DEE: WHY ARE YOU MAKG MORE MONEY THAN ME?DENNIS: I DON'T KNOW!MAC WALKS UP TO THE BARMAC: HEY, THIS IS CRAZY!DENNIS: I KNOW. TERRELL PACKED 'EM . LOOK AT THIS.CHARLIE ALSO WALKS UP TO THE BARCHARLIE: THIS IS CRAZY!DENNIS: YEAH, DU, WE WERE JT SAYG THAT.CHARLIE: LOT OF DUS.DENNIS: YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF DUS.MAC: LOT OF DUS.DEE WALKS TO SOME GUYS STANDG AT THE BARDEE: WHAT N I GET YOU BOYS?GUY: OH, UH, WE WANTED TO WA FOR THE CUTE ONE.DEE: WHAT CUTE ONE?HE POTS TO DENNISCUT TO MAC AND CHARLIECHARLIE: MAC, ISN'T THAT YOUR BRETT BY THE JEBOX?MAC: OH, YEAH!CHARLIE: LET'S GO SAY HEY.THEY WALK TO BRETTMAC: YO, BRETTIE BOY!BRETT:HEY, CUZ!MAC: HEY! HOW YOU DO'?CHARLIE: WHAT'S UP, BRETT? CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS CROWD?BRETT: OH, 'S SOMETHG ELSE!CUT TO DENNIS, WHO TALKS TO THE GUYS AT THE BARDENNIS: YEAH! GENTLEMEN, I UNRSTAND MY SERVIC HAVE BEEN REQUTED.THE GUY TAK DENNIS' HAND, DENNIS TAK HIS HAND AWAYGUY: I ACTUALLY GOT A UPLE OF SERVIC I'D LIKE TO REQUT.DENNIS: WHOA! UH, WHAT ARE YOU DO, MAN? I'M NOTGUY: YOU HAVE THE MOST BETIFUL EY.DENNIS: OKAY, MAN, BUT I'M REALLY?GUY: SO BLUE.DENNIS: REALLY MORE OF A BLUE-GREEN, ACTUALLY, BUTCUT TO BRETT AND MACBRETT:I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU, MAN.MAC: YEAH, THANKS.BRETT: YOU'VE E A LONG WAY.MAC: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?BRETT: YOU GUYS ARE NNG THE HOTTT GAY BAR PHILALPHIA.MAC AND CHARLIE LOOK NFED AT EACH OTHERINT. TERREL'S APARTMENTTERRELL OPENS THE DOOR FOR DEE, WHO KISS HIM AFTER SHE ENTERS - HE PH HER AWAYTERRELL: NO! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?DEE: HOW ULD YOU NOT TELL ME YOU WERE GAY?TERRELL: I'M A MIL THEATER ACTOR LIVG PHILALPHIA. I DIDN'T THK WAS THAT BIG A SECRET.DEE: I'VE BEEN G ON TO YOU FOR WEEKS NOW.TERRELL: JT THOUGHT YOU WERE TO GAY DUS.DEE: I AM NOT TO GAY DUS!TERRELL: APPARENTLY YOU ARE.DEE: OKAY, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? THE GUYS HIRED YOU TO PROMOTE THEIR BAR, AND YOU TURNED TO A GAY BAR. THEY ARE NOT HAPPY.CUT TO DENNIS AND CHARLIE, EXCED BEE OF THE MONEY THEY EARNEDDENNIS: SO MUCH MONEY! - WHOO! OH!CHARLIE: SO MUCH MONEY! WE MA MORE MONEY ONE NIGHT TH-DENNIS: THAN THE ENTIRE TIME THAT WE'VE OWNED THIS PLACE!CHARLIE: THIS IS GREAT. WE HAVE TO EMBRACE THE SUATN.DENNIS: WE SHOULD TOTALLY EMBRACE THE SUATN!CHARLIE: WE'RE A GAY BAR OM NOW ON.CUT TO THE GUYS AND DEE, STG AT THE FFEE SHOPMAC: ABSOLUTELY, MAN! NO GODDAMN WAY. HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THIS? (READS A PAPER) "LOOKG FOR THAT NEW HOT SPOT TO SPOT THAT STUD? WELL, PADDY'S IRISH PUB HAS PLUGGED THAT HOLE."CHARLIE: THAT'S A NICE NOTICE.MAC: NO, 'S NOT NICE. I DON'T WANT TO BE PLUGGG ANYBODY'S HOL.DEE: I'M GONNA HAVE TO AGREE WH MAC.DENNIS: OF URSE YOU ARE. I MA $300 LAST NIGHT. HOW MUCH DID YOU MAKE?DEE: FIRST OF ALL, THAT'S . AND THAT HAS NOTHG TO DO WH WHAT I'M TALKG ABOUT.DENNIS: IT HAS EVERYTHG TO DO WH .CHARLIE: LISTEN GUYS. I DON'T THK WE HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE.WE NEED TO DO THIS.MAC: IF YOU GUYS REMEMBER, ONE OF THE MAJOR REASONS WE GOT THIS BAR WAS TO GET LAID.CHARLIE: MAYBE YOU DID TO GET LAID. I GOT A LTLE SOMETHG I LIKE TO LL BS ETHICS.MAC: BS ETHICS? CHARLIE, THE ONLY REASON YOU DON'T RE IS YOU HAVE BLACK GIRLS HANGG ALL OVER YOU FOR NO REASON.THEY ALL LOOK AROUNDMAC: OKAY, CHILL OUT. YOU'RE GONNA SCREW UP.CHARLIE: SCREW UP? I HAPPEN TO HAVE A DATE WH THE NICE YOUNG LADY TODAY. (PRETENDS TO SHOOT MAC) OUCH.DENNIS: LOOK YOU GUYS. IT'S A PURELY FISL CISN.DEE: OH, BULLSH. YOU DON'T RE ABOUT THE MONEY. YOU JT LIKE THE ATTENTN.DENNIS: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?DEE: "EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME!" YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN, PRETTY BOY.CUT TO PADDY'S PUB, SEVERAL MEN PLIMENT DENNIS- HEY, HANDSOME.- HEY, BETIFUL.- HEY, SEXY.- HEY, HOSS.CUT BACK TO THE TABLEDENNIS: I JT GET ALONG REALLY WELL WH THOSE GUYS.CHARLIE: THEY'RE VIBG.DEE: NO, YOU'RE LEADG THEM ON. YOU'RE NOT GAY, YOU'RE JT REALLY VA.CHARLIE: OKAY, TIME OUT. HERE'S WHAT WE SHOULD DO. LET'S TAKE A VOTE.DEE: FE.MAC: OKAY.CHARLIE: ALL THOSE FAVOR OF PADDY'S PUB REMAG A GAY BAR, SAY "AYE".DENNIS + CHARLIE: AYE.CHARLIE: OPPOSED?DENNIS: K-K-KEEPG MD THAT YOU (POTS AT DEE) DON'T GET A VOTE.DEE: WHY?DENNIS: BEE YOU'RE THE BARTENR. YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THE OWNERS. (CHARLIE REPEATS HIM)MAC: NO, SWEET DEE GETS A VOTE.DENNIS: NO, SHE DON'T!DEE: OF URSE I GET A VOTE! ALL OWNERS OPPOSED, SAY "NAY.THEY ALL TALK THROUGH EACHOTHERCHARLIE: ALL PEOPLE WHO OWN THE BAR WHO ARE OPPOSED, SAY "NAY. ALL PEOPLE WHO OWN THE BAR WHO ARE OPPOSED SAY "NAY.MAC: NAY.CHARLIE TWO AGAST ONE! OH, WELL. OHH! PADDY'S IRISH PUB WILL HENCEFORTH REMA THE HOTTT GAY BAR PHILALPHIA.EXT. JANELL'S HOUSEJANELL: HEY-HEY! WHAT'S GOG ON?CHARLIE: HEY! - LOOK AT YOU! YOU LOOK GOOD!JANELL: OH, THANK YOU. THAT'S SO SWEET. SO, WHERE WE GOG?CHARLIE: WELL, I THOUGHT WE'D GO GRAB A DRK.JANELL: OH, I WANT ONE SO BAD.CHARLIE: ALL RIGHTY!CUT TO THE FFEE SHOPJANELL: OH, A FFEE SHOP. I THOUGHT YOU MEANT, LIKE, A DRK AT A BAR.CHARLIE: YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. (CHARLIE HOLDS A CHAIR FOR JANELL) UH, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A SEAT HERE. I'LL GO GET THE FFEE. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?JANELL: I DON'T REALLY DRK FFEE. LET ME SEE.CHARLIE: TOTALLYHE WALKS TO THE UNTER, WHERE THE WARS ISWAITRESS: WHAT DO YOU WANT, CHARLIE?CHARLIE: "WHAT DO YOU WANT, CHARLIE?" I'D LIKE YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AT THE LOVELY YOUNG AIN-AMERIN WOMAN STG AT THE TABLE OVER THERE. (POTS AT JANELL)WAITRESS: OKAY.CHARLIE: THAT WOMAN IS MY IEND.WAITRESS: WOW. GOOD FOR YOU.CHARLIE: SO, THE OTHER DAY WHEN YOU HEARD ME SAYG SOMETHG ABOUT CERTA PEOPLE HANGG OM SAID RAFTERS I WAS QUOTG A IEND OF ME WHO ALSO HAPPENSWAITRESS: (TERPTS CHARLIE) WHAT ARE YOU TRYG TO SAY? SP OUT.CHARLIE: WELL, NOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT I'M NOT RACIST, YOU AND I ULD MAYBE GO ONWAITRESS: DU, N-O. HOW MANY TIM DO I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU?CHARLIE: ONE TIME IS FE.WAITRESS: APPARENTLY ONE TIME IS NOT FE.CHARLIE: ONE TIME PER TIME I ASK YOU.JANELL WALKS TO THEMJANELL: HEY, WHAT'S GOG ON UP HERE?WAITRESS: OH, NOT TOO MUCH. CHARLIE'S G YOU TO PROVE THAT HE'S NOT RACIST. THEN HE ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE.JANELL: CHARLIE, IS THIS TE?CHARLIE: WOULD THAT UPSET YOU IF WAS SOMETHG THAT WAS TE?CUT TO PADDY'S PUB, CHARLIE IS TAKEN RE OF BY DEEDEE: CHARLIE, I THK YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR. THIS THG LOOKS REALLY BAD.CHARLIE: I DID!DEE: WHAT'D HE SAY?CHARLIE: HE SAID THAT JANELL PUNCHED ME MY EYE!DEE: ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU NEED TO KEEP THAT EYE - WA. HER NAME'S JANELL?CHARLIE: YEAH. JANELL JENKS. SHE'S GOT A HELL OF A RIGHT HAND. SHE ALSO SAID IF SHE EVER SAW ME AGA, SHE WAS GOG TO SL MY THROAT.MAC WALKS UP TO THEMMAC: ARE YOU TWO SEEG THIS?CUT TO DENNIS, WHO IS SERVG DRKS A SLEEVELS SHIRTDENNIS: BOYS ARE OUT TONIGHT, HUH?MAC: THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. WHAT THE HELL IS GOG ON HERE? YOU GOT BLACK WOMEN CRAWLG ALL OVER YOU AND THIS MARY HERE IS THE BELLE OF THE BALL. WHY DO THE PEOPLE LIKE YOU GUYS SO MUCH?CHARLIE: IT'S NOT THAT THEY LIKE . IT'S THAT THEY DON'T LIKE YOU. YOU KNOW WHY? UH, BEE YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!CHARLIE WALKS AWAYCUT TO THE BACK OF THE BAR, MAC AND DEE ENTER THE ROOMMAC: WHAT'S UP?CEE: YOU KNOW THAT GIRL JANELL? I KNOW HER.MAC: OKAY. SO WHAT?DEE: SO I THK I KNOW HOW WE N SOLVE THIS WHOLE GAY MS.MAC: GREAT. HOW?DEE: FIRST. WE GOTTA START WH DENNIS. CAN YOU GET HIM SO DNK TONIGHT? ON TEQUILA. BUT LIKE A LOT OF . ENOUGH THAT MAYBE HE MIGHT HURT HIMSELF.MAC: YEAH, SURE. NO PROBLEM.DEE: ALL RIGHT.MAC: WHERE ARE YOU GOG?DEE: I GOTTA TALK TO A UPLE IENDS OM MY ACTG CLASS. BUT SERLY BLACKOUT DNK.DEE LEAVCUT TO THE BAR, MAC IS GIVG DENNIS SHOTSMAC: ALL RIGHT. OKAY. SO YOU DID THE LIME FIRST, AND THEN THE SHOT, RIGHT?DENNIS: NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. DU. YOU TAKE THE SALT - TAKE THE SALT. AND THEN YOU TAKE THE SHOT.MAC: OKAY.DENNIS: AND THEN YOU SUCK ON THE LIME. OKAY?MAC: OKAY. WHY DON'T YOU SHOW ME AGA. 'CSE I'M GETTG A LTLE B NFED.DENNIS: YOU LICK .MAC: SALT. LICK .DENNIS: AND THEN YOU SLAM .DENNIS TAK ANOTHER SHOTMAC: YEAH? OH, THAT'S GREAT. ALL RIGHT, SO, I'M GONNA DO THE SHOT FIRSTDENNIS: NO, NO, NO, NO OH OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, DU. YOU'RE NOT LISTENG TO ME.MAC: WELL, I'M JT NOT GETTG , BRO.DENNIS: YOU DO THE SALT FIRST.MAC: THE SALT FIRST.DENNIS: AND THEN THE LIME.MAC: SHOW ME AGA, BEE I'M NOT- THE SALT FIRST. THEN THE LIME.DENNIS: OH, GOD.DENNIS FATSCUT TO DENNIS BED - WAKG UP BEE OF AN ALARM CLOCKNEXT TO THE CLOCK, THERE'S AN ED NDOM, HE SE A WOMEN LYG NEXT TO HIMDENNIS: HELLO. MMM. (LOOKS AT HER BOTTOM) NICE. (LOOKS AT HIS BOTTOM) BETIFUL.DENNIS HUGS THE WOMAN, WHO TURNS OUT TO BE A MANMAN: HELLO, LOVER.DENNIS JUMPS OM THE BEDDENNIS: WHOA! WHAT THE HELL! WHAT IS GOG ON HERE?MAN: RELAX, STUD. YOU GOT NOTHG TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT.DENNIS: WHAT THE F- WHAT DO THAT MEAN? - DID WE HAVE -MAN: NO. NO. DON'T BE SILLY. IT WAS ALL HANDS.ANOTHER GUT WALKS UP TO DENNIS AND SLAPS HIS ASSMAN 2: HOW'S THAT ASS FEEL'?CUT TO PADDY'S PUBCHARLIE AND MAC ARE PLAYG DARTSCHARLIE: I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CID TO EMBRACE THIS. YOU'RE DOG THE RIGHT THG, BRO.MAC: I THK SO TOO, DU. I FEEL REALLY GOOD ABOUT BROANG MY HORIZONS.CHARLIE: IT'S GONNA BE FUN. IT'S A GOOD BS CISN.DENNIS WALKS DENNIS: YEAH! I DON'T WANT TO OWN A GAY BAR ANYMORE.CHARLIE: WHAT, DU?MAC: OH, NO. WHAT HAPPENED?DENNIS: JT, UH I WAS DOG SOME THKG AND, YOU KNOW. I THK WE HAD OUR LTLE EXPERIMENT. IT WAS GREAT. BUT WE SHOULD GO BACK TO NORMAL.MAC: OH. YOU HAD AN EXPERIMENT, AND YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO THE WAY WAS BEFORE THE EXPERIMENT. INTERTG.DENNIS: THE BAR. WE HAD OUR EXPERIMENT WH THE BAR, AND WAS GREAT.LET'S GO BACK TO NORMAL.MAC: YOU'RE DONE EXPERIMENTG? OR ARE YOU GONNA EXPERIMENT SOME MORE? -CHARLIE: WHAT IS THIS EXPERIMENTG?TERELL WALKS TERELL: HEY, DENNIS! WHAT'S UP? LISTEN, I GOT YOU SOME NEW CDS. 'CSE THE MIC YOU HAD THE JEBOX WAS A LTLE B STALE. ALSO, WE GOTTA GET RID OF THE SHAMROCKS. 'CSE NOTHG SR GAYS AND BLACK FOLKS LIKE IRISH CRAP.DENNIS: CAN WE TALK FOR A SEND PRIVATE?TERELL: YEAH. NO PROBLEM.DENNIS: SO, LISTEN, TERRELL, 'S NOT REALLY WORKG OUT. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO LET YOU GO.TERELL: I DON'T UNRSTAND - I THOUGHT YOU WERE HAPPY.MAC: NO, WE WERE HAPPY. BUT THEN DENNIS HAD AN EXPERIMENT, AND HE WANTS TO GO BACK TO NORMAL.DENNIS: YEAH, WE HAD THAT EXPERIMENT WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYG LIKE THAT? YOU GUYS ARE BEG RIDICULO.CHARLIE: YEAH, WE'RE BEG RIDICULO! WE'RE MAKG A LOT OF MONEY!TERELL: Y! THANK YOU!MAC: LOOK, EVERYBODY! SWEET DEE'S HERE!DEE WALKS WH JENELLDEE: HEY, EVERYBODY!CHARLIE: WHOA! WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOG HERE?JENELL: CHARLIE?DENNIS: WHAT IS GOG ON HERE? YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?CHARLIE: YEAH! THAT'S THE CRAZY BCH THAT PUNCHED ME MY EYE!TERRELL: CHARLIE! THAT'S MY SISTER.MAC: NOW, JT TO CLARIFY, WHEN YOU SAY "SISTER," YOU MEAN-TERRELL: I MEAN MY SISTER.MAC: Y! OKAY! THIS IS GREAT! BEE EARLIER YOU WERE IMPLYG THAT I WAS RACIST BEE YOU THOUGHT THAT I WAS IMPLYG THAT ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE RELATED. AND THEN TURNS OUT THAT YOU PEOPLE ACTUALLY ARE! (THEY ALL LOOK IRRATED) NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. HOLD ON A SEND. I MEANT THAT YOU TWO ACTUALLY ARE.DEE: MAC? STOP TALK'.INT. PADDY'S PUBDEE AND MAC ARE UNTG THE PROFDEE: HUNDRED AND 11, HUNDRED AND 12, HUNDRED AND 13 $114!MAC: ON A SATURDAY NIGHT!DEE: WE'RE BACK TO NORMAL.THEY BOTH DRKMAC: WE ARE BACK TO NORMAL. MMM. DEE, I GOTTA KNOW. WHAT, EXACTLY, DID YOU TELL THOSE GUYS OM YOUR ACTG CLASS TO DO TO DENNIS? OH, I FOT TO TELL YOU. THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT.MAC: WHAT?DEE: YEAH, I ULDN'T GET AHOLD OF THOSE GUYS.MAC: THEN WHY WAS HE SO EAKED OUT?FLASHBACK TO DENNISMAN 2: HOW'S THAT ASS FEEL'?END OF EPISODE5EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT

Larry Van r Beek La Noue: What was like beg a gay man the ’60s? Daddy Ron), manager of Nu-Towne Saloon: In 1968, I was 17-18, so I uldn’t really be a part of the gay bars, so I end up the ltle place lled Act III for unrage kids.

It was jt a gay, no-alhol club for young men that uldn’t go to the bars. I was sexually sure I was gay; I jt wasn’t sure about beg that way public. I found one article om back ’56 talkg about how there was a hoe party where they arrted all the men intifyg as [homosexual], and gave the number of atten and broke down which rac they all were.

I don’t rell exactly what I was charged wh, lewd behavr, probably, which they ed a lot that perd wh gay people.

HOW TO BEE POPULAR AT A GAY BAR

And you wouldn’t have even known was gay-related, except the mayor mentned how was somethg you would fd Pershg Square L.

But gays, lbians, trans, and people of lor had grown tired of and were fed up. The gay prs vered , and I read about ONE Magaze, which was a publitn by the Mattache Society that I subscribed to back then.

GAY BARELECTRIC SIXTRACK 8 ON FIRE  PRODUCED BYSTUART BRADBURY & DAMIEN MENDISMAY. 20, 20031 VIEWER48.6K VIEWS14 CONTRIBUTORSGAY BAR LYRICSGIRL!I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BARI WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BARI WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BARLET'S START A WAR, START A NUCLEAR WARAT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BARWOW!AT THE GAY BARNOW TELL ME DO YA, A DO YA HAVE ANY MONEY?I WANNA SPEND ALL YOUR MONEYAT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BARI'VE GOT SOMETHG TO PUT YOUI'VE GOT SOMETHG TO PUT YOUI'VE GOT SOMETHG TO PUT YOUAT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BARWOW!YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, AT THE GAY BARYOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, AT THE GAY BARYEAH! YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, AT THE GAY BARYOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, AT THE GAY BARSUPERSTARSUPER, SUPER, SUPERSTARYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE3EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT

Ron Wilx: I never learned about Stonewall until to the ’70s, bee when was gog on 1969, there really was no real gay news [outlets]. The gay publitns brought up the ire and foced on and did more than one story on , of urse. My mother was gifted wh a transgenr child, post-op, which was me, and a gay man who loved to wear drag, which was my brother.

It was a meltg pot of everybody: heterosexual girls that had jungle fever and girls that wanted to date gay boys. I worked at Saks Fifth Avenue, so gave me the opportuny to get my clients, bee everybody wanted a gay iend at that time so they uld show you off and have you at the parti.

Wilx: A lot of gay bars only had back doors. It was the only place you uld go where you felt like you were a normal human beg, bee for years, the ’50s when I was growg up, if you were nsired gay you were eher a pedophile, a pervert, or a eak.

DID ANDREW WIGGS LL DENNIS SCHROR ‘GAY’? HE SAYS NO. VIO SUGGTS Y.

La Noue: I thk all the gay bars bloomg the ’70s was partly an effect of what everyone was feelg. I’m gonna open a damn gay bar and fuck you. ” Bee when you have that attu, you branch out and you do thgs you wouldn’t normally do, like you wouldn’t even thk to open a gay bar before bee of all the harassment.

The harassment of LGBTQ bars by the police, or even gay-bashers, didn’t disappear the 1970s. And the kids knew there was a gay bar there.

La Noue: I remember one time specifilly that there was like two or three [homophob] a r and hollered “faggot, ” and said, “Are you lookg for trouble?

QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT-ACTG GUY: THE PERFORMANCE OF MASCULY GAY YOUTH CULTURE AND POPULAR CULTURE

Not every nontatn at an Arizona gay bar had such a happy endg.

Bee at that pot, not everyone out there was necsarily gay-iendly.

Oh and also if you are at any pot offend by rrect e of gay, lbian, bi, transgenr, straight, lgbt or anythg else for that matter, I apologize advance. I work at a gay bar.