Gay "Sis": How Language Fre Us to be Ourselv | Psychology Today

side position in gay terms

The gay datg app Grdr n seem like a mefield wh s extensive e of slang - here's what terms like GEN NPNC and Si mean.

Contents:

SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"

* side position in gay terms *

A third add: “Personally I’m not crazy about the term ‘si’ (sounds to me like someone lyg there, dog not much) but ’s good that Grdr acknowledg that there’s more to gay sex than anal.

When to sex, whether you’re gay, bi, or straight, we’ve all been a ltle brawashed to believg that there is this thg lled “normal. In the gay male muny, ually, you’re eher nsired to be a “top, ” the perator, or a “bottom, ” the perated, or you’re versatile (n go eher way). But what if you’re a gay man who don’t enjoy anal sex or fds anal peratn paful, don’t like the feelg or the troublome amount of preparatn and cleang up need for to be a pleasurable experience, or simply don’t experience anal sex as erotic?

That’s why a 2013 article I wrote for Huffgton Post, "Guys on the ‘Si’: Lookg Beyond Gay Tops and Bottoms, " I began workg on popularizg the term “si” orr for the gay men to have the language to exprs their sexual and erotic preference. The gay datg app Grdr n seem like a mefield wh s extensive e of slang – here’s what terms like GEN, NPNC and si is the most popular LGBTQ datg app the world and a cemented part of gay culture. Acrdg to Urban Dictnary, a si is “a homosexual male who do not enjoy anal peratn (givg or receivg), but will engage other forms of same sex activy.

GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV

The gay male datg app, Grdr, recently add the sexual preference I created beyond jt top, bottom, and vers when to gay men engagg terurse: "si.

That’s what happened 2013 when, an article I wrote for the Huffgton Post, “Guys on the Si, ” I created the term “si” for gay men who aren’t to beg a “top” or a “bottom” or practicg anal peratn. The term “Si” was created when 2010, I was talkg wh some lleagu about “tops” (gay men who prefer the sertive role durg peratn) and “bottoms” (gay men who prefer the receptive role durg peratn) and outed myself for beg a gay man who don’t engage anal terurse at all. Beg a “top, ” “bottom, ” or “vers” (short for "versatile, " or someone who uld go eher way) were the only acceptable mols the gay muny, and I felt dissed for not ftg to the mold.

About a year and a half ago I formed a Facebook group lled “Si Guys” and some of the guys the group started a petn to Grdr, the gay datg app, to add “si” to their list of preferred posns and filters. Back 2011, an article was published the Journal of Sexual Medice which rearchers surveyed 25, 000 gay and bisexual men Ameri about their most recent sexual enunters, and only 36 percent said they had bottomed, and 34 percent said they had topped. Furthermore, a si n be a gay male, a bisexual male, a pansexual male, or fall unr the ace umbrella (asexual male/graysexual male/misexual male, etc.

I’M GAY AND I’M NOT A TOP OR A BOTTOM – I’M A ‘SI’

Dennis Fortenberry MD, MS Sexual Behavrs and Suatnal Characteristics of Most Recent Male-Partnered Sexual Event among Gay and Bisexually Intified Men the Uned Stat.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* SIDE POSITION IN GAY TERMS

Here are the most popular sex posns for hetero and queer upl - triple j</tle><meta name="tle" ntent="Here are the most popular sex posns for hetero and queer upl - triple j"/><meta name="scriptn" ntent="If you're lookg for some new ias to mix thgs up, or you're jt startg out your sex journey - here are ten of the most popular sex posns for hetero, and queer upl."/><meta name="keywords" ntent="sex posns, queer sex posns, 69, missnary, doggy, bt sex posns, wgirl, gay sex, lbian sex"/><lk rel="nonil" href="><lk rel="in" type="image/png" href="/re-assets/triplej/"/><lk rel="in" type="image/svg+xml" href="/re-assets/triplej/"/><lk rel="mask-in" lor="black" href="/re-assets/triplej/"/><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="><lk rel="preload" href=" as="font" type="font/woff2" crossorig="anonymo"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="font" type="font/woff2" crossorig="anonymo"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="font" type="font/woff2" crossorig="anonymo"/><meta property="ABC.ContentType" ntent="article"/><meta property="ABC.ContentSource" ntent="remedia"/><meta name="generator" ntent="PL triple j"/><meta property="ABC.Generator" ntent="PL triple j"/><meta name="ContentId" ntent="13973292"/><meta property="ABC.ContentId" ntent="13973292"/><meta name="ABC.VersnNumber" ntent="4"/><meta name="" ntent="triple j"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="sex posns"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="queer sex posns"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="69"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="missnary"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="doggy"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="bt sex posns"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="wgirl"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="gay sex"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="lbian sex"/><meta property="article:published_time" ntent="2022-07-27T03:28:31+00:00"/><script type="applitn/ld+json">{"@ntext":","@type":"Article","thor":{"@type":"Organizatn","name":"triple j","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","height":60,"url":"","width":388}},"dateModified":"2022-08-02T06:29:16+00:00","datePublished":"2022-07-27T03:28:31+00:00","scriptn":"If you're lookg for some new ias to mix thgs up, or you're jt startg out your sex journey - here are ten of the most popular sex posns for hetero, and queer upl.","headle":"Here are the most popular sex posns for hetero and queer upl","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","height":90,"url":","width":160},"keywords":"sex posns,queer sex posns,69,missnary,doggy,bt sex posns,wgirl,gay sex,lbian sex","maEntyOfPage":","publisher":{"@type":"Organizatn","name":"triple j","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","height":60,"url":"","width":388}}}</script><meta property="article:modified_time" ntent="2022-08-02T06:29:16+00:00"/><meta property="og:url" ntent="><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="If you're lookg for some new ias to mix thgs up, or you're jt startg out your sex journey - here are ten of the most popular sex posns for hetero, and queer upl."/><meta property="og:tle" ntent="Here are the most popular sex posns for hetero and queer upl - triple j"/><meta property="og:type" ntent="article"/><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image"/><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@triplej"/><meta name="twter:image" ntent="><meta name="twter:image:alt" ntent="six different naked bodi dog different sex posns"/><meta property="og:image" ntent="><meta property="og:se_name" ntent="triple j"/><meta property="og:updated_time" ntent="2022-08-02T06:29:16+00:00"/><lk data-chunk="page.ForOdysseyArticle"/><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="51"/><meta name="next-requt-stat" ntent="200"/><script id="google-tag-manager" type="text/javascript" data-nscript="beforeInteractive">dataLayer=[{"applitn":{"ctomPageview":te,"environment":"productn","generatorName":"PL CORE NEXT","generatorVersn":"0.0.0","platform":"web","product":"PL triple j"},"bug":{"schemaVersn":"20180625"}}];(functn(w,d,s,l,i){w[l]=w[l]||[];w[l]({'':new Date().getTime(),event:''});var f=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],j=d.createElement(s),dl=l!='dataLayer'?'&l='+l:'';;''+i+dl;sertBefore(j,f);})(wdow,document,'script','dataLayer','GTM-PB2GX');</script><script id="overri-lazy-load" data-nscript="beforeInteractive">!functn(a){"loadg"!==document.readyState?a():document.addEventListener("DOMContentLoad",a)}(functn(){for(var e=document.querySelectorAll("img"),d=[],a=0;a<;a++){var b=e[a],(document.documentElement.clientHeight,nerHeight),(document.documentElement.clientWidth,nerWidth);if(b.parentElement){var c=b.parentElement.getBoundgClientRect();>0&&>0&&>0&&<0&&>0&&<0&&(b)}}for(var a=0;a<;a++){var b=d[a];b.hasAttribute("data-lazy")&&b.removeAttribute("data-lazy")}for(var a=0;a<;a++){var b=d[a];"lazy"===b.loadg&&(b.loadg="eager")}})</script><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-g=""/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-p=""/><noscript data-n-css=""></noscript><script fer="" nomodule="" src="/_next/static/chunks/"></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/pag/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/pag/%5BproductSlug%5D/programs/%5BproductPageSlug%5D/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/8BAkf158z3WgBWGEhh5yT/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/8BAkf158z3WgBWGEhh5yT/" fer=""></script></head><body><script> </script><div id="__next"><noscript><iame src=" height="0" width="0" style="display:none;visibily:hidn"></iame></noscript><div class="BrandStyl_base__P_05n BrandStyl_triplej__1orlc" data-ponent="BrandStyl"><div id="app-ntaer" class="GlobalStyl_dls___J5Yr" data-ponent="GlobalStyl"><div data-ponent="Lotn"><div></div><hear class="Masthead_masthead__90g1k" data-ponent="MastheadBox" style="top:0px"><a class="ScreenRearSkipToContent_skipLk__ZXOqn ScreenRearOnly_srOnly__aJfWv ScreenRearOnly_focable__xp3DW" data-ponent="ScreenRearSkipToContent" href="#ntent">Skip to ma ntent</a><div class="Masthead_parentAndBrand__VvG80 Masthead_mastheadBackground__BGxJG"><div class="MastheadParent_parentMasthead__CLdPe" data-ponent="MastheadParent"><div data-ponent="MastheadLogo" class=""><a href="/" class="MastheadLogoLk_lk__wLQU0 MastheadLogo_logoLk__7X_c_" data-ponent="MastheadLogoLk"><span class="MastheadLogoLk_logo__XY0lt"><svg aria-hidn="te" class="MastheadLogo_brandLogo__k88mE BrandLogo_svg__W378d" data-ponent="ABCLogo" height="44" prerveAspectRat="xMYMid meet" viewBox="0 0 101 44" width="101" xmlns="><path d="M5.625 10.044h.188c1.151 0 2.501.5 3.475 1.619.412.412 1.217 2.34 1.29 2.515l.004.012 4.957 13.214c.288.743.886 1.175 1.494 1.22a1.616 1.616 0 001.513-.97l.058-.15 1.56-4.157 2.634 6.906c-1.295 2.328-2.534 2.927-3.983 3.459a7.026 7.026 0 01-1.385.265l-.353.023h-.486c-1.074-.033-2.136-.321-2.988-.82-.467-.319-1.675-1.116-2.534-3.036l-.11-.257-5.223-14.555V28.59l.077-.221 1.915-5.388 2.478 7.006c-.376 1.619-1.505 2.971-2.855 3.614-.436.2-.783.318-1.207.368l-.22.02H5.79a5.028 5.028 0 01-3.02-.81c-1.281-.932-1.691-2.058-1.763-3.95L1 28.968V14.578c.155-2.372 1.66-3.67 3.01-4.257.57-.197.852-.262 1.397-.275l.218-.002h.188zM90.341 10c4.467 0 8.127 2.36 9.49 6.108l.092.264.143.406-.385.22c-.143.088-.967.472-2.538 1.208-.416.208-.76.362-.872.415l-.03.014-.593.297-.164-.638c-.517-1.834-2.121-3.823-5.088-3.823-3.704 0-5.825 2.692-5.825 7.383 0 3.67 1.506 7.58 5.715 7.58 2.291 0 4.163-1.25 5.051-3.353l.092-.228.208-.539 4.495 2.022-.22.494c-1.681 3.834-5.374 6.163-9.692 6.163-.143 0-.286 0-.429-.01-6.395-.187-10.362-4.78-10.362-11.964 0-8.668 5.472-11.887 10.582-12.008.11-.011.22-.011.33-.011zm-59.09.787c1.303.976 1.693 2.052 1.744 3.997l.005.27V29.4c-.155 2.416-1.715 3.713-3.065 4.312-.586.221-.863.277-1.56.277-1.184 0-2.689-.444-3.663-1.674-.401-.413-1.206-2.35-1.278-2.526l-.005-.013-4.957-13.147a1.989 1.989 0 00-1.605-1.22c-.565-.01-1.13.295-1.438.96l-.067.16-1.504 4.157-2.634-6.961c1.284-2.328 2.523-2.86 3.972-3.404.415-.138.96-.223 1.451-.266l.287-.022v-.01h.11l.056-.006.055-.006v.011c1.173-.011 2.346.255 3.275.843.467.308 1.665 1.064 2.524 2.98l.11.257 5.167 14.6V15.386l-.122.355-1.814 5.255-2.468-7.017c.321-1.563 1.505-2.916 2.844-3.559.327-.16.726-.27 1.099-.335l.273-.042v-.01h.1c.01-.012.022-.012.022-.012 1.084-.089 2.18.21 3.087.765zM51.012 10l8.462 23.763h-5.495L52.11 28.28h-8.044l-1.868 5.482h-5.462L45.186 10h5.825zm18.571 0c3.583 0 7.847 1.066 7.847 6.141 0 2.153-.902 4.01-2.374 5.032 1.901 1 3 2.977 2.978 5.504 0 4.407-2.928 6.985-8.058 7.083l-.305.003H60V10h9.582zm-.186 13.71H65.22v5.504h4.505c2.055 0 3.077-.89 3.132-2.724.022-.802-.198-1.45-.637-1.9-.572-.572-1.539-.88-2.824-.88zm-21.297-6.734l-2.495 6.767h4.934l-2.44-6.767zm21.428-2.516H65.22v4.68h4.154c1.9 0 2.857-.835 2.857-2.504 0-1.011-.308-2.176-2.704-2.176z" fill="currentColor" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg><span class="ScreenRearOnly_srOnly__aJfWv" data-ponent="ScreenRearOnly">ABC</span></span></a></div><div class="MastheadParent_actns__loGob"><a href=" class="global-search-lk_lk__yZ7eR MastheadParent_searchLk__1n0qk" data-ponent="GlobalSearchLk"><svg xmlns=" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 24 24" width="1em" height="1em" data-ponent="Search" class="in_in__BezvR global-search-lk_in__YUQN7 in_size24__1oTgD" aria-hidn="te"><path stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" d="m21 21-6.904-6.904m0 0a6.5 6.5 0 1 0-9.192-9.192 6.5 6.5 0 0 0 9.192 9.192z"></path></svg><span class="ScreenRearOnly_srOnly__aJfWv" data-ponent="ScreenRearOnly">Search</span></a><div class="MastheadParent_globalLog___GeYD" data-ponent="GlobalLogLoar" role="img" aria-label="Loadg ABC Acunt stat"><div class="global-log_skeletonLoar__OgKG2"><div class="global-log_skeletonAvatar___E12h global-log_shimmer__dSe2R"></div><div class="global-log_skeletonName__yxtee global-log_shimmer__dSe2R"></div><span class="ScreenRearOnly_srOnly__aJfWv" data-ponent="ScreenRearOnly">Loadg</span></div></div><button class="MastheadParent_globalNavButton__ONbYw global-navigatn-button_openButton__9xhrL" type="button" data-ponent="GlobalNavigatnButton"><svg xmlns=" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 24 24" width="1em" height="1em" data-ponent="Drawer" class="in_in__BezvR global-navigatn-button_in__ibfas in_size20__uN3m_" aria-hidn="te"><path stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" d="M21 12H3"></path><path stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" d="M21 6H3"></path><path stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" d="M21 18H3"></path></svg><span class="ScreenRearOnly_srOnly__aJfWv" data-ponent="ScreenRearOnly">More om ABC</span></button><div class="global-navigatn-ntent_drawer__XIsPy Drawer_drawerPanel__cwo96 Drawer_drawerPanel__cwo96" data-ponent="GlobalNavigatn" id="global-navigatn-drawer"><nav aria-label="More om ABC" class="global-navigatn-ntent_drawerContent__dfhpC" data-uri="app://module/globalnavigatnntent"><h2 class="ScreenRearOnly_srOnly__aJfWv" data-ponent="ScreenRearOnly" id="dls-global-navigatn__label" tabx="-1">More om ABC</h2><div class="global-navigatn-ntent_actnsWrapper__umHsB"><button class="global-navigatn-button_closeButton__Zfw2M" type="button" data-ponent="GlobalNavigatnButton"><svg xmlns=" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 24 24" width="1em" height="1em" data-ponent="Close" class="in_in__BezvR global-navigatn-button_in__ibfas in_size20__uN3m_" aria-hidn="te"><path stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" d="M19 19 5 5"></path><path stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" d="M5 19 19 5"></path></svg><span class="ScreenRearOnly_srOnly__aJfWv" data-ponent="ScreenRearOnly">Close menu</span></button><a href=" class="global-navigatn-ntent_logoLk__a__oi lk_foc__WeZws lk_unrleNone__PmrQv" tabx="0"><svg aria-hidn="te" class="global-navigatn-ntent_logo__VtKA0 BrandLogo_svg__W378d" data-ponent="ABCLogo" height="44" prerveAspectRat="xMYMid meet" viewBox="0 0 101 44" width="101" xmlns="><path d="M5.625 10.044h.188c1.151 0 2.501.5 3.475 1.619.412.412 1.217 2.34 1.29 2.515l.004.012 4.957 13.214c.288.743.886 1.175 1.494 1.22a1.616 1.616 0 001.513-.97l.058-.15 1.56-4.157 2.634 6.906c-1.295 2.328-2.534 2.927-3.983 3.459a7.026 7.026 0 01-1.385.265l-.353.023h-.486c-1.074-.033-2.136-.321-2.988-.82-.467-.319-1.675-1.116-2.534-3.036l-.11-.257-5.223-14.555V28.59l.077-.221 1.915-5.388 2.478 7.006c-.376 1.619-1.505 2.971-2.855 3.614-.436.2-.783.318-1.207.368l-.22.02H5.79a5.028 5.028 0 01-3.02-.81c-1.281-.932-1.691-2.058-1.763-3.95L1 28.968V14.578c.155-2.372 1.66-3.67 3.01-4.257.57-.197.852-.262 1.397-.275l.218-.002h.188zM90.341 10c4.467 0 8.127 2.36 9.49 6.108l.092.264.143.406-.385.22c-.143.088-.967.472-2.538 1.208-.416.208-.76.362-.872.415l-.03.014-.593.297-.164-.638c-.517-1.834-2.121-3.823-5.088-3.823-3.704 0-5.825 2.692-5.825 7.383 0 3.67 1.506 7.58 5.715 7.58 2.291 0 4.163-1.25 5.051-3.353l.092-.228.208-.539 4.495 2.022-.22.494c-1.681 3.834-5.374 6.163-9.692 6.163-.143 0-.286 0-.429-.01-6.395-.187-10.362-4.78-10.362-11.964 0-8.668 5.472-11.887 10.582-12.008.11-.011.22-.011.33-.011zm-59.09.787c1.303.976 1.693 2.052 1.744 3.997l.005.27V29.4c-.155 2.416-1.715 3.713-3.065 4.312-.586.221-.863.277-1.56.277-1.184 0-2.689-.444-3.663-1.674-.401-.413-1.206-2.35-1.278-2.526l-.005-.013-4.957-13.147a1.989 1.989 0 00-1.605-1.22c-.565-.01-1.13.295-1.438.96l-.067.16-1.504 4.157-2.634-6.961c1.284-2.328 2.523-2.86 3.972-3.404.415-.138.96-.223 1.451-.266l.287-.022v-.01h.11l.056-.006.055-.006v.011c1.173-.011 2.346.255 3.275.843.467.308 1.665 1.064 2.524 2.98l.11.257 5.167 14.6V15.386l-.122.355-1.814 5.255-2.468-7.017c.321-1.563 1.505-2.916 2.844-3.559.327-.16.726-.27 1.099-.335l.273-.042v-.01h.1c.01-.012.022-.012.022-.012 1.084-.089 2.18.21 3.087.765zM51.012 10l8.462 23.763h-5.495L52.11 28.28h-8.044l-1.868 5.482h-5.462L45.186 10h5.825zm18.571 0c3.583 0 7.847 1.066 7.847 6.141 0 2.153-.902 4.01-2.374 5.032 1.901 1 3 2.977 2.978 5.504 0 4.407-2.928 6.985-8.058 7.083l-.305.003H60V10h9.582zm-.186 13.71H65.22v5.504h4.505c2.055 0 3.077-.89 3.132-2.724.022-.802-.198-1.45-.637-1.9-.572-.572-1.539-.88-2.824-.88zm-21.297-6.734l-2.495 6.767h4.934l-2.44-6.767zm21.428-2.516H65.22v4.68h4.154c1.9 0 2.857-.835 2.857-2.504 0-1.011-.308-2.176-2.704-2.176z" fill="currentColor" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg><span class="ScreenRearOnly_srOnly__aJfWv" data-ponent="ScreenRearOnly">ABC</span></a></div><div data-uri="app://module/globalnavigatnems"><svg xmlns=" style="display:none"><symbol viewBox="0 0 233 76" id="iview-global-navigatn-logo"><tle>iview.

TOP