Menu</tle><path d="M8 10h16v2H8v-2zm0 5h16v2H8v-2zm0 5h16v2H8v-2z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg></div></button><div class="AlertWrapper-gvFATk hbLmuZ" data-ttid="BookmarkAlertMobile" role="tooltip"><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertArrow-daOgye jhXzHd alert-arrow"></div><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertInWrapper-iHNVmf iGkvlr"><svg class="in in-bookmark in-bookmark--activated" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Story Saved</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-outle" d="M20 24L12.5 19.7804L5 24V3H20V24ZM12.5 18.6028L19 22.2336V3.98131H6V22.2336L12.5 18.6028Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm cxwGKM cpwv alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, vis 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fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm cxwGKM cpwv alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, select My Acunt, then<!-- --> <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ cRxydS btWLCr button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><path d="M16 14.586l6.364-6.364 1.414 1.414L17.414 16l6.364 6.364-1.414 1.414L16 17.414l-6.364 6.364-1.414-1.414L14.586 16 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18.6028L19 22.2336V3.98131H6V22.2336L12.5 18.6028Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm cxwGKM cpwv alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, vis My Profile, then<!-- --> <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ cRxydS btWLCr button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><path d="M16 14.586l6.364-6.364 1.414 1.414L17.414 16l6.364 6.364-1.414 1.414L16 17.414l-6.364 6.364-1.414-1.414L14.586 16 8.222 9.636l1.414-1.414z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></div></button></div></div><div class="StackedNavigatnSectnLogo-gMsxSu fGoGol"><a href="/" class="StackedNavigatnLogoLk-byNqXP dmvHfj"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa rponsive-image"><img alt="Brish Vogue" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="/verso/static/vogue/assets//" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/></picture></a></div><div class="StackedNavigatnSectnMobileOptn-iaaAJG jtgct"><div class="standard-navigatn-acunt standard-navigatn-acunt-wh-avatar StackedNavigatnSectnUtilyLksLog-hBhQdZ qZvh"><div class="AlertWrapper-gvFATk hbLmuZ AcuntDropdownBookmarkAlert-gjKEYt jsfpOb" data-ttid="BookmarkAlertDktop" role="tooltip"><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertArrow-daOgye jhXzHd alert-arrow"></div><div aria-hidn="te" role="prentatn" class="AlertInWrapper-iHNVmf iGkvlr"><svg class="in in-bookmark in-bookmark--activated" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Story Saved</tle><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-outle" d="M20 24L12.5 19.7804L5 24V3H20V24ZM12.5 18.6028L19 22.2336V3.98131H6V22.2336L12.5 18.6028Z" fill="black"></path><path class="in-bookmark-fill in-bookmark--activated-checkmark" d="M11.5541 13.7033L9 11.2033L9.66216 10.5552L11.5541 12.407L15.3378 8.70331L16 9.35146L11.5541 13.7033Z" fill="black"></path></svg></div><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ AlertMsage-jgAjgo bVCFRm cxwGKM cpwv alert-msage"><p>To revis this article, select My Acunt, then<!-- --> <a href="/acunt/saved">View saved stori</a></p></div><button class="BaseButton-bLlsy ButtonWrapper-xCepQ cRxydS btWLCr button button--utily close-alert-button" data-event-click="{"element":"Button"}" data-ttid="Button" role="button" type="button"><span class="ButtonLabel-cjAuJN bBWXSg button__label">Close Alert</span><div class="ButtonInWrapper-gFdzAL bPDyTT button__in-ntaer"><svg class="ButtonIn-YqaGo iwlhuX button-in in in-close" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" xmlns="><path d="M16 14.586l6.364-6.364 1.414 1.414L17.414 16l6.364 6.364-1.414 1.414L16 17.414l-6.364 6.364-1.414-1.414L14.586 16 8.222 9.636l1.414-1.414z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></div></button></div><a href="/th/iate?redirectURL=%2Farts-and-liftyle%2Farticle%2Fage-gap-relatnships&source=VERSO_NAVIGATION" rel="nofollow" data-ttid="signIn" class="StandardNavigatnAcuntLabel-pyqL davElS"><div class="NavigatnAcuntInWrapper-dtKQte eaozwv"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa NavigatnAcuntIn-iOwUUB jqqvHs rponsive-image"><img alt="Profile" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="/verso/static/vogue/assets/" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/></picture><div class="NavigatnAcuntSignIn-kzWKFa fKOssn">Sign In</div></div></a></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--mob-nav-cta" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--mob-nav-cta"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div></div></div></hear><div class="modal-ntaer"></div></div><div class="PersistentBottomWrapper-eddooY bIieWF persistent-bottom" data-journey-hook="persistent-bottom"><asi class="PaywallBarWrapper-hbEokK bfoVHc paywall-bar"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut paywall-bar__nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-bar-ll-to-actn" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-bar-ll-to-actn"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--cm-riser" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--cm-riser"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><div class="StickyHeroAdWrapper-eNLJUc gStsdY ad-stickyhero ad-stickyhero--standard ad-stickyhero-enable-mobile should-hold-space"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--hero"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--hero" data-no-id="9zil"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-GB"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="SplScreenContentHearWrapper-bFxPWy bjerUJ ntent-hear article__ntent-hear" data-ttid="SplScreenContentHearWrapper"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK dfqcEG grid grid-ems-2 grid-full-bleed grid-no-gap SplScreenContentHearMa-fNigKG YwaHe"><div class="GridItem-buujkM eHLzLy grid--em"><div class="SplScreenContentHearTleBlock-sCMXE jActCi"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SplScreenContentHearRubric-cLHEJQ djShVa"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">I Couldn’t Help But Wonr...</span></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SplScreenContentHearHed-lcUSuI iUEiRd bwDymH dfelga">What Is An Acceptable Age Gap Between Partners?</h1><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl SplScreenContentHearByle-kvEhqE eonFPJ"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH uMYIE byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd hHRAkO haUSoQ eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/profile/tom-rasmsen">Tom Rasmsen</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2023-01-05T11:18:07Z" class="SplScreenContentHearPublishDate-bMGEVk bRGsdS">5 January 2023</time><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV dFSzzF social-ins social-ins--standard SplScreenContentHearSocialShare-gSVclr bNxHSm"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"><li class="SocialInsListItem-mbhR fxaFQj social-ins__list-em social-ins__list-em--facebook social-ins__list-em--standard"><a aria-label="Share on Facebook" class="external-lk SocialInExternalLk-huuzOU cXqAmY social-ins__lk social-ins__lk--facebook" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div class="SocialInContaer-huXzUC pMzVC social-ins__in-ntaer"><svg class="SocialInNetworkInComponent-cZaKGz dlOAhZ in in-facebook" 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20.1695V3.5H19.5V20.1695L12.2339 16.3228L12 16.199L11.7661 16.3228Z" stroke-lep="square"/></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd fcKlBk gkccfO">Save</span></button></div></div></div><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>It’s an age-old qutn. It’s a bate that I’ve seen divi dner tabl of betiful left-wg sex-posive smokers. It’s a qutn – not surprisg, given the general premise of this lumn – taken up by Carrie and pany as they vtigate the latt dg of choice the New York datg scene season one of <em>Sex and the Cy:</em> younger men. Ined, t<a href=">he age-gap relatnship</a> is a scenar we’ve all seen play out terribly, seen work betifully, and judged harshly om afar. And the thg that divis, creat disaster, and spir judgment is not simply a difference number – ’s a difference power. </p><p>Now there’s a general le that always starts this game. The equatn, of urse: Half your age then add seven to work out if someone is too young for you to date; take seven off your age then double to work out if someone is too old for you to date. The problem is that where love, sex, and romance are ncerned, an equatn n’t always provi you wh the answer. Dire and attractn are not the same as basic math. </p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>Many would argue for the legal le: that if all parti are of nsentg age and are able to fully and actively nsent, then there’s not a problem wh age-gap relatnships of any pairg. But much like the equatn, this le of thkg don’t take to acunt the difference power between an 18-year-old and a 68-year-old, and, as we know, the law is rarely created favour of the more vulnerable. In realy ’s worth a ltle more nsiratn. </p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>When I was 17, I had a short relatnship wh a man his sixti. Then, felt good – the sex was great, we were both totally nsentg, and of urse we never went public wh . Behd our closed doors felt like we were some kd of equals bee even though the power dynamic was askew, who held that power so often shifted between . </p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="cqv7pk"></div></div><p>Y, there is a power dynamic to be reckoned wh a May-December relatnship, but bat about age gaps often assume that the dynamic we speak of is simply one-way. The olr person has all the power; the younger person is exploed. In my experience, the olr person the relatnship has the power of experience, sure, but the younger person has the power of youth, of accs to culture now. When I dated olr men, I rived a certa power om their sire for me, and really turned me on. In turn, I felt taken re of, like I was learng at the hands of someone who had more life experience than me. I ed to say, “Old men fuck, ok, and talk better,” and, many s, was te – pecially when my datg pool was a group of nfed, shame-filled late-teen/early-twenti gay men wh late-onset emotnal adolcence, jt like me.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="tn8drp"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-6410"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt irGmYt">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff dXsMtG summary-em summary-em--has-mobile-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-top summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw cWJwCN" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz hlQxkn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="I’m 23 And I Jt Watched Sex And The Cy For The First Time. 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lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">News</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ bfdOCB summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Demi Moore Is The Epome Of Rich Mom Energy In Whe Jeans And Teva Sandals</div></div></div></a></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw cWJwCN ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="xuc5"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs laPXdt"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="RowWrapper" class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="6qfq9"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>While we like to thk that relatnships and sire are morally pure and separate om somethg as ugly as power, many relatnships, that’s jt not the se. And should always have to be? It’s the same reason ugly rich guys date mols, and mols date ugly rich guys. It’s the same reason we so often look for what we don’t have a partner.</p><p>I am aware that th far I have only discsed gay relatnships, but there’s a reason for that. The fact that queer liftyl and relatnships have bee so much more visible mastream culture has perhaps skewed our ia of what’s acceptable when to an age gap relatnships. Thk of a relatnship like Holland Taylor and Sarah Plson’s. The visibily of the kds of glamoro queer relatnships perhaps scrambl the ways we image the power dynamic between upl of olr men and younger women that we are more acctomed to seeg. </p><p>This, however, is to assume that the younger women engagg the relatnships aren’t knowgly explog the age-gap dynamic too. And why shouldn’t they? Jt bee ’s not a perfect story – bee culturally we thk romance should be fair, jt, and morally pure – don’t mean this isn’t what happens realy. </p><p>Years on, I wonr if I would nsent to a relatnship of such an age gap as I did at 17, knowg what I know about how nsent isn’t ntral but ntextual. Was possible for me to fully nsent to a relatnship wh someone triple my age? When put like that, no. And yet years on, I would scribe that relatnship – and many of the relatnships I had wh olr men – as among the most rpectful and tenr relatnships of my datg life. Ocsnally, of urse, I experienced the unfair exploatn of the power dynamic that wh an age gap, which left me feelg powerls and huiated. I’m sure I also exploed my powers at tim relatnships too. But this mistreatment was not overwhelmgly a feature of my relatnships wh olr men. In fact, this is the se across my whole datg history. Like all relatnships, some will go right and some will go wrong. </p><p>Perhaps we’re so fascated by age-gap relatnships bee ’s easy to assume that there will be exploatn and imbalanc of power at a higher equency. But to me figur that a society which we are tght how to acquire, posss, and own before we are tght to love and liberate, there are submerged dynamics of power and exploatn many relatnships, regardls of the age of the participants. In relatnships where people are ncerned wh liberatn, eedom, and rpect, perhaps an age gap don’t matter.</p><div class="ExternalLkEmbedWrapper-hNDkqw jtNuTJ" data-ttid="external-lk-embed--le"><div class="ExternalLkEmbedText-glBTSy kAxHEA"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ExternalLkEmbedRubric-hYBGeO dQqwqj gMqPgd">Read More</div><a attribut="[object Object]" class="external-lk-embed__hed-lk button" href="/arts-and-liftyle/article/olr-women-datg-younger-men"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ExternalLkEmbedHed-dSIMOS iUEiRd eRFOub gsZLZF">Why Is A Woman Datg A Younger Man Still So Taboo?</span></a><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ExternalLkEmbedByl-fFFaGd eNAzyl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH KhWF byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ 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