Gay Conversn: I Slept Wh Over 200 Men, Now I'm a Happily Married Heterosexual Dad

Contents:

• GAY CONVERSN: I SLEPT WH OVER 200 MEN, NOW I'M A HAPPILY MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL DAD
• AM I GAY?
• THE FACT NO ONE LIK TO ADM: MANY GAY MEN ULD JT HAVE EASILY BEEN STRAIGHT
• I ED TO ENVY GAY MEN WHO ULD PASS FOR STRAIGHT – NOW I REALISE MIGHT BE A CURSE
• AS A GAY MAN, I’LL NEVER BE NORMAL
• I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN

GAY CONVERSN: I SLEPT WH OVER 200 MEN, NOW I'M A HAPPILY MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL DAD

Jam Parker abandoned his gay liftyle and now has a fay. In an effort to prent both sis of the gay nversn bate, IBT ved a man whose sexualy changed through therapy to tell his story.

AM I GAY?

But that's what happened – fact I changed had hundreds of homosexual partners, I eventually married a woman and had a child. I knew I was gay at about 10 or 11. I was fely a number six on the Ksey Sle – an exclively homosexual male wh no heterosexual sir whatsoever.

I often thought of suici, ocsnally self-harmed and had a growg problem wh alhol and gay porn. But mum and dad were amazg; they said they had known I was gay and then affirmed their unndnal love for me. The 'g out' procs wasn't tortuo or 18 I moved to London om the north of England and fully embraced my gay inty.

I beme the first person to live openly as a gay man the sectn of the universy I attend, and even tablished an LGBT group for other stunts, actively preachg agast those who suggted that beg gay was somehow a choice, or even wrong. I was born gay, was all I'd ever known – end of. Even though I'd been raised a Christian and attend an LGBT Christian Movement London, I reveled the pal's gay scene and led a very promiscuo liftyle.

THE FACT NO ONE LIK TO ADM: MANY GAY MEN ULD JT HAVE EASILY BEEN STRAIGHT

I reveled the gay liftyle - beg gay was all I'd ever knownJam ParkerI realised I had some issu, centrg on mment. I had an nate fear of men – not of their homophobia, but the real thg: a chasm between me and the normal heterosexual male (Ksey's so-lled number on). There was nothg btal or harrowg about the help I received; the horror stori you hear om some of those gay-straight 'nversn' documentari don't apply here.

It was simply a mixture of gnive therapy, to challenge my re beliefs and root out one-sid thkg; behavural therapy, to change problematic actns traed through years of rercement; and EMDR, which rhythmic eye movements to dampen the power of trmatic therapist and I never foced solely on my beg sexually attracted to men, but my "beg gay" had to be part of the dialogue, otherwise I'd have been leavg a part of my life at the door. At the age of 46, I've never felt better my own ParkerI began to see that maybe, jt maybe, I was never tly gay and that there was a man as real and as noble as the men I had often admired, worshipped and yearned for hidn ep wh me, wag to be eed and released. Jam Parker ed to be a regular London's gay bars, and revelled the gay scene.

I don't miss the gay liftyle I left behd –when I vised my ex-boyiend, five years after therapy, brought to home to me the drawbacks of that life. Therapy n be dangero, and there's no reason why anyone should feel pelled to 'nvert' I now believe people aren't born gay, and anyone n velop the sort of hidn inty I've Parker is om the Journey Into Manhood trag programme which is anised by People Can Change, a non-prof tnal, support and outreach you are affected by any of the issu raised this article, send your feedback g the ment sectn below. To read our recent terview wh a former gay nversn therapist, who claimed the therapy is dangero and effective, click here.

I ED TO ENVY GAY MEN WHO ULD PASS FOR STRAIGHT – NOW I REALISE MIGHT BE A CURSE

Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr. Sce genr inty and sexual orientatn are separate, transgenr people n intify as straight, gay, lbian, bisexual, etc. When I was young, I was told the whole world was divid to heterosexual men and heterosexual women, bar a small number of unfortunate ‘homosexuals’ of both genrs and possibly an even smaller number a third tegory, ‘bisexuals’, who ‘swung both ways’; pl, fally, a ty band of wretched creatur who were physilly not que one thg or the other.

How many ‘homosexuals’ were there? Ksey diststed btal tegorisatn but, wishg to unt, nstcted what me close to a slidg sle ntag seven gradatns between exclive heterosexualy and exclive homosexualy.

AS A GAY MAN, I’LL NEVER BE NORMAL

He found that almost half his male terviewe had reacted sexually to both genrs; more than a third had had a homosexual enunter; and more than one ten reported roughly equally strong sexual rpons to both men and women. Surveys for the Observer of ten and four years ago suggt that around 4 per cent of Brish men would ll themselv ‘homosexual’.

Some of the men I slept wh have gone straight spe a strong cultural barrier to a gay man dog this. Some iends I thought — knew — to be straight have gone gay, or ‘bisexual’.

I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN

All all, I’ve probably slept wh as many straight men as self–intifyg gay or bisexual on: I doubt most were lyg, and some s have reason to know they weren’t.

For every ‘bisexual’ man who’s actually gay but reluctant to say so, there’s a straight man who’s actually bisexual.