The fact no one lik to adm: many gay men uld jt have easily been straight | The Spectator

Contents:

• GAY CONVERSN: I SLEPT WH OVER 200 MEN, NOW I'M A HAPPILY MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL DAD
• AM I GAY?
• THE FACT NO ONE LIK TO ADM: MANY GAY MEN ULD JT HAVE EASILY BEEN STRAIGHT
• I ED TO ENVY GAY MEN WHO ULD PASS FOR STRAIGHT – NOW I REALISE MIGHT BE A CURSE
• AS A GAY MAN, I’LL NEVER BE NORMAL
• I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN

GAY CONVERSN: I SLEPT WH OVER 200 MEN, NOW I'M A HAPPILY MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL DAD

Jam Parker abandoned his gay liftyle and now has a fay. In an effort to prent both sis of the gay nversn bate, IBT ved a man whose sexualy changed through therapy to tell his story.

AM I GAY?

But that's what happened – fact I changed had hundreds of homosexual partners, I eventually married a woman and had a child. I knew I was gay at about 10 or 11.

I was fely a number six on the Ksey Sle – an exclively homosexual male wh no heterosexual sir whatsoever. I often thought of suici, ocsnally self-harmed and had a growg problem wh alhol and gay porn. But mum and dad were amazg; they said they had known I was gay and then affirmed their unndnal love for me.

THE FACT NO ONE LIK TO ADM: MANY GAY MEN ULD JT HAVE EASILY BEEN STRAIGHT

The 'g out' procs wasn't tortuo or 18 I moved to London om the north of England and fully embraced my gay inty. I beme the first person to live openly as a gay man the sectn of the universy I attend, and even tablished an LGBT group for other stunts, actively preachg agast those who suggted that beg gay was somehow a choice, or even wrong.

I was born gay, was all I'd ever known – end of. Even though I'd been raised a Christian and attend an LGBT Christian Movement London, I reveled the pal's gay scene and led a very promiscuo liftyle.

I ED TO ENVY GAY MEN WHO ULD PASS FOR STRAIGHT – NOW I REALISE MIGHT BE A CURSE

I reveled the gay liftyle - beg gay was all I'd ever knownJam ParkerI realised I had some issu, centrg on mment.

AS A GAY MAN, I’LL NEVER BE NORMAL

I had an nate fear of men – not of their homophobia, but the real thg: a chasm between me and the normal heterosexual male (Ksey's so-lled number on). There was nothg btal or harrowg about the help I received; the horror stori you hear om some of those gay-straight 'nversn' documentari don't apply here.

It was simply a mixture of gnive therapy, to challenge my re beliefs and root out one-sid thkg; behavural therapy, to change problematic actns traed through years of rercement; and EMDR, which rhythmic eye movements to dampen the power of trmatic therapist and I never foced solely on my beg sexually attracted to men, but my "beg gay" had to be part of the dialogue, otherwise I'd have been leavg a part of my life at the door.

I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN

At the age of 46, I've never felt better my own ParkerI began to see that maybe, jt maybe, I was never tly gay and that there was a man as real and as noble as the men I had often admired, worshipped and yearned for hidn ep wh me, wag to be eed and released. Jam Parker ed to be a regular London's gay bars, and revelled the gay scene.

I don't miss the gay liftyle I left behd –when I vised my ex-boyiend, five years after therapy, brought to home to me the drawbacks of that life. Therapy n be dangero, and there's no reason why anyone should feel pelled to 'nvert' I now believe people aren't born gay, and anyone n velop the sort of hidn inty I've Parker is om the Journey Into Manhood trag programme which is anised by People Can Change, a non-prof tnal, support and outreach you are affected by any of the issu raised this article, send your feedback g the ment sectn below.