Ryan O'Callaghan, former New England Patrts leman, out as gay | NFL | The Guardian

Contents:

• THERE HAVE BEEN 11 KNOWN GAY PLAYERS NFL HISTORY
• JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS' KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE COACH TO COME OUT AS GAY MAJOR U.S. SPORTS
• THE EX-NFL PLAYER PHG FOR LGBTQ ACCEPTANCE AMERI’S TOUGHT SPORTINCLUSIVITYRYAN O’CALLAGHAN ONLY ME OUT AFTER HE’D LEFT PRO FOOTBALL BEHD. NOW HE’S WORKG TO MAKE SURE LGBTQ PLAYERS THE LEAGUE FEEL WELED AND SUPPORTED.ROBERT SILVERMANUPDATED SEP. 17, 2021 6:41PM EDT / PUBLISHED SEP. 13, 2021 3:59AM EDT LEON BENT/GETTY IMAG FOR THE PLAYERS' TRIBUNECARL NASSIB MA HISTORY JUNE, WHEN, A VIO POSTED WHOUT WARNG TO INSTAGRAM, THE LAS VEGAS RAIRS FENSIVE END TOLD THE WORLD A SUAL AND AFFABLE TONE: “I JT WANTED TO TAKE A QUICK MOMENT TO SAY THAT I’M GAY.”THE FIRST ACTIVE NFL PLAYER TO E OUT PUBLICLY, NASSIB STRSED THAT DOG SO WAS IMPORTANT NOT BEE HE WANTED TO ATTRACT ANY ADDNAL ATTENTN TO HIMSELF, BUT RATHER BEE BEG OPENLY, PROUDLY, AND VISIBLY GAY ULD BENEF OTHERS.“I ACTUALLY HOPE THAT ONE DAY, VIOS LIKE THIS AND THE WHOLE G OUT PROCS ARE NOT NECSARY,” HE SAID. “BUT UNTIL THEN I WILL DO MY BT.”IN A WAY, HE’S ALREADY SUCCEED. NASSIB SPENT THIS SUMMER GOG THROUGH THE RIGORS OF TRAG MP. THE RAIRS’ FIRST REGULAR SEASON GAME IS ON MONDAY NIGHT AND NASSIB MA THE FAL ROSTER. THAT REPRENTS THE SUM TOTAL OF NEWSWORTHY EVENTS ABOUT HIM. NOT TO TAKE ANYTHG AWAY OM THE TONE, BUT THE LACK OF A MEDIA FEEDG ENZY MAY BE THE BT POSSIBLE NEWS OF ALL, ACRDG TO RYAN O’CALLAGHAN, A FORMER OFFENSIVE LEMAN WHO ME OUT 2017, LONG AFTER HE’D RETIRED. THE NORMALCY THAT’S FOLLOWED THE WAKE OF NASSIB’S ANNOUNCEMENT IS DITIVE OF PROGRS, HE TOLD THE DAILY BEAST WHEN REACHED BY PHONE AT HIS HOME COLORADO. IT WAS A MERE SEVEN YEARS AGO WHEN MICHAEL SAM ME OUT PRR TO THE NFL DRAFT. FOR MONTHS AFTERWARD, SAM WAS PLACED SQUARELY AT THE CENTER OF THE CULTURE WAR. EXECS AND ACH ANONYMOLY WHISPERED THAT SAM’S SEXUALY WOULD E HIS DRAFT STOCK TO PLUMMET. A CLIP OF SAM KISSG HIS BOYIEND ON ESPN AFTER THE THEN-ST. LOUIS RAMS LLED HIS NAME WAS SEEN AS SOME KD OF TERRIBLE AFONT TO RIGHT-WGERS AND BY SAM’S ACUNT, BIGOTRY ULTIMATELY KEPT HIM OM A PRO REER.THE CHANGE N’T BE PEGGED TO ONE E, O’CALLAGHAN EXPLAED. LARGELY, ’S A QUTN OF SOCIETAL CHANG. OVERALL, HE BELIEV THE LEAGUE DID A MUCH BETTER JOB WHEN NASSIB ME OUT. (BOTH THE RAIRS AND COMMISSNER ROGER GOOLL OFFERED PUBLIC SUPPORT; NSERVATIVE MEDIA HAS LARGELY AVOID THE SUBJECT.) A (MOSTLY) SILENT, UNQUANTIFIABLE MORY MAY STILL NTUE TO VENT THEIR SPLEENS, BUT, “THE OVERWHELMG RPONSE HAS BEEN ACCEPTANCE,” HE SAID. “IT MA A BIG DIFFERENCE.”THE FEAR OF HOW PEOPLE, BOTH THE NFL AND BEYOND, MIGHT RPOND IS WHY O’CALLAGHAN KEPT HIS SEXUALY A SECRET FOR SO LONG. WHEN HIS NFL REER END, O’CALLAGHAN ABED PRCRIPTN PAKILLERS TO AVOID ALG WH WHO HE REALLY WAS. THOUGHTS OF SUICI, WHICH HE’D HARBORED THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE, RETURNED.“I ONLY PLAYED FOOTBALL AS A VER FOR BEG GAY,” O’CALLAGHAN, WHO IS NOW REVERY AND STARTED A FOUNDATN DITED TO SUPPORTG LGBTQ ATHLET, SAID. GROWG UP READG, CALIFORNIA, A NSERVATIVE ENCLAVE THE STATE, ONCE HE’D REACHED A CERTA SIZE PROMPTED QUTNS ABOUT WHY HE WASN’T ON THE GRIDIRON. (HAVG A FATHER WHO ACHED PHED HIM THAT DIRECTN AS WELL.)SO HE SLAPPED ON A SET OF PADS AND HELMET. “I NEVER LOVED FOOTBALL,” SAID O’CALLAGHAN. “IT WAS THE MOST MACHO THG I N DO, RELYG ON EVERYONE'S IGNORANCE THKG THAT A GAY GUY ULDN’T PLAY FOOTBALL.” THERE WERE MOMENTS HIGH SCHOOL WHERE HE’D HEAR STANDARD HOMOPHOBIC MENTS—“DUMB SH,” WAS HOW O’CALLAGHAN PUT . IN RPONSE HE’D ACT LIKE “AN ASSHOLE OR A BULLY,” HE TOLD THE ADVOTE. AFTER ALL, LORDG OVER HIS CLASSMAT AND BEG FEARED WAS PREFERABLE TO ANYONE THKG HE WASN’T STRAIGHT.WHEN O’CALLAGHAN ARRIVED AT THE UNIVERSY OF CALIFORNIA, BERKELEY, THE ANTI-GAY SLURS FAD TO A GREE. RARELY DID HE HEAR ANYONE GOG ON A TLY IMPASSNED ANTI-GAY TIRA. ONE ACH THE NFL WOULD DROP THE GROAN-DUCG “NO HOMO” LE. (O’CALLAGHAN CLED TO NAME HIM.)STILL, “WHEN YOU HEAR ONE OF YOUR TEAMMMAT AND IENDS LL SOMEONE A FA--OT, YOU REMEMBER THAT,” HE SAID. IT WAS THE HETERONORMATIVE ASSUMPTNS WHICH PUT O’CALLAGHAN A DIFFICULT PLACE—THE REGULAR NVERSATNS ABOUT PARTNERS AND “SEXUAL NQUTS,” HE SAID. AS A MATTER OF URSE, “IT’S A NVERSATN YOU N’T RELATE TO." THOUGH HE’S AWARE—AND WAS AT THE TIME—THAT NO ONE THE LOCKER ROOM TEND ANY HARM, VARIABLY LEFT HIM FEELG LIKE AN OUTSIR. ONE WAY TO PE WAS BY LYG. “AS SOON AS I LEARNED THAT WAS OKAY TO BE GAY, AND THEN LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF, MA QUTG EASIER.” “YOU FEEL THIS PRSURE TO SAY THE RIGHT THG,” SAID O’CALLAGHAN. IT WAS AN ALL-NSUMG PREOCCUPATN: THE IA THAT IF HE LET HIS GUARD DROP FOR A MOMENT, OR SAID SOMETHG SLIGHTLY OFF, HIS SECRET WOULD BE REVEALED. AFTER HE ME OUT, NONE OF HIS FORMER TEAMMAT EVER ASKED O’CALLAGHAN TO APOLOGIZE FOR CEIVG THEM. “THEY WERE MORE WORRIED THAT THEY HAD EVER SAID ANYTHG THAT AFFECTED ME WHEN I WAS CLOSETED,” HE SAID.THE NEAR-NSTANT VIGILANCE HE MAND OF HIMSELF AND THE PERFORMANCE HE FELT REQUIRED TO PUT ON WAS NOT JT STRSFUL, BUT DOWNRIGHT EXHSTG AND BILATG.AFTER A STANDOUT REER AT CAL, THE NOW 6-FOOT-7, 340-PL-POUNR WAS SELECTED THE FIFTH ROUND BY THE NEW ENGLAND PATRTS. HE WORKED HIMSELF RAGGED TO MAKE AS A BACKUP ON THE SQUAD THAT LOST TO THE NEW YORK GIANTS SUPER BOWL XLII. IN A WAY, HIS SIRE TO REMA CLOSETED AND THE PATRTS’ ETHOS WERE MUTUALLY PATIBLE. "ALL YOU ARE THERE TO DO IS WHATEVER TAK TO W," HE TOLD OUTSPORTS. “DISTRACTNS WERE NOT ALLOWED… AS LTLE FORT AS DID BRG, DID HELP.”THE KANSAS CY CHIEFS SIGNED HIM 2009, AFTER MISSG A YEAR DUE TO JURY. O’CALLAGHAN LASTED ANOTHER TWO SEASONS BEFORE BEG RELEASED. IT WAS THEN THAT HE BEGAN ABG PAKILLERS. INIALLY, HE WAS GTG THEM TO AL WH THE LGERG SYMPTOMS OF MULTIPLE JURI AND SURGERI. EVENTUALLY, THEY SERVED TO NUMB A DIFFERENT KD OF PA, CLUDG THOUGHTS OF SUICI.“THEY GIVE YOU THIS PHORIC FEELG THAT MAK YOU NOT FEEL LIKE YOURSELF,” O’CALLAGHAN SAID. “AND WHEN YOU HATE YOURSELF—LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS CLOSETED—YOU’LL DO ANYTHG NOT TO FEEL LIKE YOURSELF.”O’CALLAGHAN BEGAN BURNG THROUGH THE SH EARNED DURG HIS REER, TOO, AND PHG AWAY ANYONE WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO PULL HIM OUT OF THIS SPIRAL, ALL TO ARRIVE AT ROCK BOTTOM. IT WAS, A SENSE, A WAY TO JTIFY TAKG HIS OWN LIFE. O’CALLAGHAN WAS WORKG AT THE CHIEFS’ FACILY THE SNT HOPE OF MAKG BACK TO PRO FOOTBALL. THERE, HE BEGAN SPEAKG WH A TEAM TRAER AND UNSELOR, WHO WERE ABLE TO PULL HIM BACK OM THE BRK, AS OUTSPORTS DOCUMENTED.“PEOPLE ASK ME, HOW’D YOU DO ? HOW’D YOU GET OVER ?” SAID O’CALLAGHAN. HE NEVER SPENT TIME ANY REHABILATN FACILI TO AL WH HIS SUBSTANCE ABE PROBLEM. INSTEAD, “WHAT WORKED FOR ME WAS FIXG THE UNRLYG PROBLEM OF WHY I WAS ABG THE FIRST PLACE.”O’CALLAGHAN NTUED: “AS SOON AS I LEARNED THAT WAS OKAY TO BE GAY, AND THEN LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF, MA QUTG EASIER.” NOT EASY BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGATN, HE STRSED, BUT DOABLE.SO BEGAN THE UT PROCS OF G OUT. FIRST TO FAY MEMBERS AND IENDS, THEN FORMER TEAMMAT AND PROFSNAL LLEAGU, BUILDG OUT A SUPPORT WORK AND SLOWLY BUT SURELY REBUILDG HIS LIFE. FROM THERE, HIS FOC SHIFTED TO HELPG OTHERS DO THE SAME. HE TABLISHED THE RYAN O’CALLAGHAN FOUNDATN 2018. AT FIRST, THE ANIZATN’S GOAL WAS TO HELP PAY FOR LGBTQ ATHLET TO ATTEND LLEGE WHOSE FAI CLED TO SUPPORT THEM AFTER G OUT. UNFORTUNATELY, HE EXPLAED, THE NCAA L AND REGULATNS PROVED TOO MUCH OF AN OBSTACLE. WHAT HE HADN’T ANTICIPATED WAS THE NUMBER OF CLOSETED ATHLET WHO JT WANTED TO MEET AND TALK, IF ONLY TO HAVE ONE PERSON THEIR LIV WHO THEY KNOW WILL GUARD THEIR SECRET UNTIL THEY’RE READY. TODAY, THE BULK OF THE FOUNDATN’S WORK IS VOTED TO THE OUTREACH EFFORTS, CLUDG SPEAKG TO GROUPS AT SCHOOLS AND RPORATNS—ANYONE WHO’LL GIVE HIM AN DIENCE. “MY GOAL IS TO REACH AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE,” O’CALLAGHAN SAID.O’CALLAGHAN HAS PARTNERED DIRECTLY WH THE NFL TOO, ON PSAS AND OTHER EVENTS. DPE HIS PRAISE FOR HOW THEY SUPPORTED NASSIB, THE LEAGUE HAS MTED “TO DO MORE,” AS O’CALLAGHAN PUT . AND THE QUTN OF WHAT THAT MORE MIGHT EXACTLY ENTAIL REMAS A B VAGUE. HE HAS PRSED THIS SE TO GOOLL, WHO HE BELIEV TO BE AN ALLY, BUT DONATNS TO NONPROFS LIKE GLAAD AND THE TREVOR PROJECT NSUMED MUCH OF THE BUDGET FOR THE YEAR. NOT TO TAKE ANYTHG AWAY OM THE GREAT WORK BOTH ANIZATNS DO, BUT “THAT DON’T REALLY HELP GUYS THE LOCKER ROOM,” SAID O'CALLAGHAN.IALLY, HE’D BE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO MEET THE G ROOKI DURG THE LEAGUE’S ANNUAL TRANSN PROGRAM FOR G PLAYERS. (O’CALLAGHAN MENTNED THAT ESARA TUOLO, ANOTHER OUT FORMER NFL PLAYER HAD GIVEN THIS KD OF TALK DURG HIS ROOKIE YEAR. PANELS DITED TO SEXUAL ORIENTATN HAVE BEEN HELD, IF TERMTENTLY.) “JT GIVE ME 20 MUT,” HE SAID, TO HOLD “A VERY ANK, HONT NVERSATN. THAT’S ONE WAY OF REACHG EVERYONE.”HE’S UNSELED TRANS ATHLET TOO. OF LATE, THE RIGHT’S ANTI-LGBTQ SENTIMENTS HAVE BEEN REDIRECTED TO LEGISLATN AIMED NOT JT AT BLOCKG TRANSGENR ATHLET OM PARTICIPATG SPORTS, BUT OVERALL, RTRICTG ACCS TO GENR-AFFIRMG MEDIL RE.O’CALLAGHAN SCRIBED WORKG WH A JUNR HIGH SCHOOL STUNT WHO HAD SURVIVED A SUICI ATTEMPT. THEIR PARENTS (THE STUNT THEY/THEM PRONOUNS) HAD REACHED OUT TO HIM, AND OVER A THREE- TO FOUR-MONTH PERD, THEIR SUATN SLOWLY IMPROVED TO THE POT THEY WERE READY TO E OUT. DPE LIVG A SMALL, NSERVATIVE TOWN, THEY’VE FULLY TRANSNED.OF ALL THE PEOPLE HE’S HEARD OM, ONE OF THE FIRST EMAILS HE RECEIVED STANDS OUT. A FATHER WHOSE CHILD HAD RECENTLY E OUT WROTE O’CALLAGHAN. IN HIS EMAIL, THE FATHER NFSED THAT HE FOUND THIS ACT SO OBJECTNABLE, “HE BASILLY DISOWNED THEM,” HE SAID. UPON HEARG O’CALLAGHAN’S STORY, THE FATHER HAD A CHANGE OF HEART—SO MUCH SO, HE WAS SPIRED TO TRY AND RENNECT WH HIS CHILD. O’CALLAGHAN DIDN’T HEAR OM THE FATHER AGA. WHETHER THEY WERE ABLE TO RENCILE, HE DON’T KNOW.BUT THE THOUGHT—THE HOPE—HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HELP THIS ONE FAY RENCILE, JT BY BEG PUBLICLY HONT WH WHO HE WAS, MEANT EVERYTHG.”THAT ALONE MA G OUT WORTH ,” HE SAID.IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE ARE STGGLG WH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, PLEASE REACH OUT TO THE NATNAL SUICI PREVENTN LIFELE AT 1-800-273-TALK (8255), OR NTACT THE CRISIS TEXT LE BY TEXTG TALK TO 741741. ROBERT SILVERMAN
• FORMER PATRTS AND CHIEFS TACKLE RYAN O’CALLAGHAN OUT AS GAY
• RYAN O'CALLAGHAN, FORMER NEW ENGLAND PATRTS LEMAN, OUT AS GAY

THERE HAVE BEEN 11 KNOWN GAY PLAYERS NFL HISTORY

The announcement today by former Patrts and Chiefs offensive leman Ryan O'Callaghan that he is gay brgs to seven the number of NFL known gay players NFL history who have played a regular season game. In addn, four other players who me out as gay were NFL trag mps, some playg preason gam. Kopay played wh two teammat who were gay: tight end Jerry Smh and nng back Ray McDonald.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS' KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE COACH TO COME OUT AS GAY MAJOR U.S. SPORTS

Gay players have long been the NFL.

THE EX-NFL PLAYER PHG FOR LGBTQ ACCEPTANCE AMERI’S TOUGHT SPORTINCLUSIVITYRYAN O’CALLAGHAN ONLY ME OUT AFTER HE’D LEFT PRO FOOTBALL BEHD. NOW HE’S WORKG TO MAKE SURE LGBTQ PLAYERS THE LEAGUE FEEL WELED AND SUPPORTED.ROBERT SILVERMANUPDATED SEP. 17, 2021 6:41PM EDT / PUBLISHED SEP. 13, 2021 3:59AM EDT LEON BENT/GETTY IMAG FOR THE PLAYERS' TRIBUNECARL NASSIB MA HISTORY JUNE, WHEN, A VIO POSTED WHOUT WARNG TO INSTAGRAM, THE LAS VEGAS RAIRS FENSIVE END TOLD THE WORLD A SUAL AND AFFABLE TONE: “I JT WANTED TO TAKE A QUICK MOMENT TO SAY THAT I’M GAY.”THE FIRST ACTIVE NFL PLAYER TO E OUT PUBLICLY, NASSIB STRSED THAT DOG SO WAS IMPORTANT NOT BEE HE WANTED TO ATTRACT ANY ADDNAL ATTENTN TO HIMSELF, BUT RATHER BEE BEG OPENLY, PROUDLY, AND VISIBLY GAY ULD BENEF OTHERS.“I ACTUALLY HOPE THAT ONE DAY, VIOS LIKE THIS AND THE WHOLE G OUT PROCS ARE NOT NECSARY,” HE SAID. “BUT UNTIL THEN I WILL DO MY BT.”IN A WAY, HE’S ALREADY SUCCEED. NASSIB SPENT THIS SUMMER GOG THROUGH THE RIGORS OF TRAG MP. THE RAIRS’ FIRST REGULAR SEASON GAME IS ON MONDAY NIGHT AND NASSIB MA THE FAL ROSTER. THAT REPRENTS THE SUM TOTAL OF NEWSWORTHY EVENTS ABOUT HIM. NOT TO TAKE ANYTHG AWAY OM THE TONE, BUT THE LACK OF A MEDIA FEEDG ENZY MAY BE THE BT POSSIBLE NEWS OF ALL, ACRDG TO RYAN O’CALLAGHAN, A FORMER OFFENSIVE LEMAN WHO ME OUT 2017, LONG AFTER HE’D RETIRED. THE NORMALCY THAT’S FOLLOWED THE WAKE OF NASSIB’S ANNOUNCEMENT IS DITIVE OF PROGRS, HE TOLD THE DAILY BEAST WHEN REACHED BY PHONE AT HIS HOME COLORADO. IT WAS A MERE SEVEN YEARS AGO WHEN MICHAEL SAM ME OUT PRR TO THE NFL DRAFT. FOR MONTHS AFTERWARD, SAM WAS PLACED SQUARELY AT THE CENTER OF THE CULTURE WAR. EXECS AND ACH ANONYMOLY WHISPERED THAT SAM’S SEXUALY WOULD E HIS DRAFT STOCK TO PLUMMET. A CLIP OF SAM KISSG HIS BOYIEND ON ESPN AFTER THE THEN-ST. LOUIS RAMS LLED HIS NAME WAS SEEN AS SOME KD OF TERRIBLE AFONT TO RIGHT-WGERS AND BY SAM’S ACUNT, BIGOTRY ULTIMATELY KEPT HIM OM A PRO REER.THE CHANGE N’T BE PEGGED TO ONE E, O’CALLAGHAN EXPLAED. LARGELY, ’S A QUTN OF SOCIETAL CHANG. OVERALL, HE BELIEV THE LEAGUE DID A MUCH BETTER JOB WHEN NASSIB ME OUT. (BOTH THE RAIRS AND COMMISSNER ROGER GOOLL OFFERED PUBLIC SUPPORT; NSERVATIVE MEDIA HAS LARGELY AVOID THE SUBJECT.) A (MOSTLY) SILENT, UNQUANTIFIABLE MORY MAY STILL NTUE TO VENT THEIR SPLEENS, BUT, “THE OVERWHELMG RPONSE HAS BEEN ACCEPTANCE,” HE SAID. “IT MA A BIG DIFFERENCE.”THE FEAR OF HOW PEOPLE, BOTH THE NFL AND BEYOND, MIGHT RPOND IS WHY O’CALLAGHAN KEPT HIS SEXUALY A SECRET FOR SO LONG. WHEN HIS NFL REER END, O’CALLAGHAN ABED PRCRIPTN PAKILLERS TO AVOID ALG WH WHO HE REALLY WAS. THOUGHTS OF SUICI, WHICH HE’D HARBORED THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE, RETURNED.“I ONLY PLAYED FOOTBALL AS A VER FOR BEG GAY,” O’CALLAGHAN, WHO IS NOW REVERY AND STARTED A FOUNDATN DITED TO SUPPORTG LGBTQ ATHLET, SAID. GROWG UP READG, CALIFORNIA, A NSERVATIVE ENCLAVE THE STATE, ONCE HE’D REACHED A CERTA SIZE PROMPTED QUTNS ABOUT WHY HE WASN’T ON THE GRIDIRON. (HAVG A FATHER WHO ACHED PHED HIM THAT DIRECTN AS WELL.)SO HE SLAPPED ON A SET OF PADS AND HELMET. “I NEVER LOVED FOOTBALL,” SAID O’CALLAGHAN. “IT WAS THE MOST MACHO THG I N DO, RELYG ON EVERYONE'S IGNORANCE THKG THAT A GAY GUY ULDN’T PLAY FOOTBALL.” THERE WERE MOMENTS HIGH SCHOOL WHERE HE’D HEAR STANDARD HOMOPHOBIC MENTS—“DUMB SH,” WAS HOW O’CALLAGHAN PUT . IN RPONSE HE’D ACT LIKE “AN ASSHOLE OR A BULLY,” HE TOLD THE ADVOTE. AFTER ALL, LORDG OVER HIS CLASSMAT AND BEG FEARED WAS PREFERABLE TO ANYONE THKG HE WASN’T STRAIGHT.WHEN O’CALLAGHAN ARRIVED AT THE UNIVERSY OF CALIFORNIA, BERKELEY, THE ANTI-GAY SLURS FAD TO A GREE. RARELY DID HE HEAR ANYONE GOG ON A TLY IMPASSNED ANTI-GAY TIRA. ONE ACH THE NFL WOULD DROP THE GROAN-DUCG “NO HOMO” LE. (O’CALLAGHAN CLED TO NAME HIM.)STILL, “WHEN YOU HEAR ONE OF YOUR TEAMMMAT AND IENDS LL SOMEONE A FA--OT, YOU REMEMBER THAT,” HE SAID. IT WAS THE HETERONORMATIVE ASSUMPTNS WHICH PUT O’CALLAGHAN A DIFFICULT PLACE—THE REGULAR NVERSATNS ABOUT PARTNERS AND “SEXUAL NQUTS,” HE SAID. AS A MATTER OF URSE, “IT’S A NVERSATN YOU N’T RELATE TO." THOUGH HE’S AWARE—AND WAS AT THE TIME—THAT NO ONE THE LOCKER ROOM TEND ANY HARM, VARIABLY LEFT HIM FEELG LIKE AN OUTSIR. ONE WAY TO PE WAS BY LYG. “AS SOON AS I LEARNED THAT WAS OKAY TO BE GAY, AND THEN LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF, MA QUTG EASIER.” “YOU FEEL THIS PRSURE TO SAY THE RIGHT THG,” SAID O’CALLAGHAN. IT WAS AN ALL-NSUMG PREOCCUPATN: THE IA THAT IF HE LET HIS GUARD DROP FOR A MOMENT, OR SAID SOMETHG SLIGHTLY OFF, HIS SECRET WOULD BE REVEALED. AFTER HE ME OUT, NONE OF HIS FORMER TEAMMAT EVER ASKED O’CALLAGHAN TO APOLOGIZE FOR CEIVG THEM. “THEY WERE MORE WORRIED THAT THEY HAD EVER SAID ANYTHG THAT AFFECTED ME WHEN I WAS CLOSETED,” HE SAID.THE NEAR-NSTANT VIGILANCE HE MAND OF HIMSELF AND THE PERFORMANCE HE FELT REQUIRED TO PUT ON WAS NOT JT STRSFUL, BUT DOWNRIGHT EXHSTG AND BILATG.AFTER A STANDOUT REER AT CAL, THE NOW 6-FOOT-7, 340-PL-POUNR WAS SELECTED THE FIFTH ROUND BY THE NEW ENGLAND PATRTS. HE WORKED HIMSELF RAGGED TO MAKE AS A BACKUP ON THE SQUAD THAT LOST TO THE NEW YORK GIANTS SUPER BOWL XLII. IN A WAY, HIS SIRE TO REMA CLOSETED AND THE PATRTS’ ETHOS WERE MUTUALLY PATIBLE. "ALL YOU ARE THERE TO DO IS WHATEVER TAK TO W," HE TOLD OUTSPORTS. “DISTRACTNS WERE NOT ALLOWED… AS LTLE FORT AS DID BRG, DID HELP.”THE KANSAS CY CHIEFS SIGNED HIM 2009, AFTER MISSG A YEAR DUE TO JURY. O’CALLAGHAN LASTED ANOTHER TWO SEASONS BEFORE BEG RELEASED. IT WAS THEN THAT HE BEGAN ABG PAKILLERS. INIALLY, HE WAS GTG THEM TO AL WH THE LGERG SYMPTOMS OF MULTIPLE JURI AND SURGERI. EVENTUALLY, THEY SERVED TO NUMB A DIFFERENT KD OF PA, CLUDG THOUGHTS OF SUICI.“THEY GIVE YOU THIS PHORIC FEELG THAT MAK YOU NOT FEEL LIKE YOURSELF,” O’CALLAGHAN SAID. “AND WHEN YOU HATE YOURSELF—LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS CLOSETED—YOU’LL DO ANYTHG NOT TO FEEL LIKE YOURSELF.”O’CALLAGHAN BEGAN BURNG THROUGH THE SH EARNED DURG HIS REER, TOO, AND PHG AWAY ANYONE WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO PULL HIM OUT OF THIS SPIRAL, ALL TO ARRIVE AT ROCK BOTTOM. IT WAS, A SENSE, A WAY TO JTIFY TAKG HIS OWN LIFE. O’CALLAGHAN WAS WORKG AT THE CHIEFS’ FACILY THE SNT HOPE OF MAKG BACK TO PRO FOOTBALL. THERE, HE BEGAN SPEAKG WH A TEAM TRAER AND UNSELOR, WHO WERE ABLE TO PULL HIM BACK OM THE BRK, AS OUTSPORTS DOCUMENTED.“PEOPLE ASK ME, HOW’D YOU DO ? HOW’D YOU GET OVER ?” SAID O’CALLAGHAN. HE NEVER SPENT TIME ANY REHABILATN FACILI TO AL WH HIS SUBSTANCE ABE PROBLEM. INSTEAD, “WHAT WORKED FOR ME WAS FIXG THE UNRLYG PROBLEM OF WHY I WAS ABG THE FIRST PLACE.”O’CALLAGHAN NTUED: “AS SOON AS I LEARNED THAT WAS OKAY TO BE GAY, AND THEN LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF, MA QUTG EASIER.” NOT EASY BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGATN, HE STRSED, BUT DOABLE.SO BEGAN THE UT PROCS OF G OUT. FIRST TO FAY MEMBERS AND IENDS, THEN FORMER TEAMMAT AND PROFSNAL LLEAGU, BUILDG OUT A SUPPORT WORK AND SLOWLY BUT SURELY REBUILDG HIS LIFE. FROM THERE, HIS FOC SHIFTED TO HELPG OTHERS DO THE SAME. HE TABLISHED THE RYAN O’CALLAGHAN FOUNDATN 2018. AT FIRST, THE ANIZATN’S GOAL WAS TO HELP PAY FOR LGBTQ ATHLET TO ATTEND LLEGE WHOSE FAI CLED TO SUPPORT THEM AFTER G OUT. UNFORTUNATELY, HE EXPLAED, THE NCAA L AND REGULATNS PROVED TOO MUCH OF AN OBSTACLE. WHAT HE HADN’T ANTICIPATED WAS THE NUMBER OF CLOSETED ATHLET WHO JT WANTED TO MEET AND TALK, IF ONLY TO HAVE ONE PERSON THEIR LIV WHO THEY KNOW WILL GUARD THEIR SECRET UNTIL THEY’RE READY. TODAY, THE BULK OF THE FOUNDATN’S WORK IS VOTED TO THE OUTREACH EFFORTS, CLUDG SPEAKG TO GROUPS AT SCHOOLS AND RPORATNS—ANYONE WHO’LL GIVE HIM AN DIENCE. “MY GOAL IS TO REACH AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE,” O’CALLAGHAN SAID.O’CALLAGHAN HAS PARTNERED DIRECTLY WH THE NFL TOO, ON PSAS AND OTHER EVENTS. DPE HIS PRAISE FOR HOW THEY SUPPORTED NASSIB, THE LEAGUE HAS MTED “TO DO MORE,” AS O’CALLAGHAN PUT . AND THE QUTN OF WHAT THAT MORE MIGHT EXACTLY ENTAIL REMAS A B VAGUE. HE HAS PRSED THIS SE TO GOOLL, WHO HE BELIEV TO BE AN ALLY, BUT DONATNS TO NONPROFS LIKE GLAAD AND THE TREVOR PROJECT NSUMED MUCH OF THE BUDGET FOR THE YEAR. NOT TO TAKE ANYTHG AWAY OM THE GREAT WORK BOTH ANIZATNS DO, BUT “THAT DON’T REALLY HELP GUYS THE LOCKER ROOM,” SAID O'CALLAGHAN.IALLY, HE’D BE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO MEET THE G ROOKI DURG THE LEAGUE’S ANNUAL TRANSN PROGRAM FOR G PLAYERS. (O’CALLAGHAN MENTNED THAT ESARA TUOLO, ANOTHER OUT FORMER NFL PLAYER HAD GIVEN THIS KD OF TALK DURG HIS ROOKIE YEAR. PANELS DITED TO SEXUAL ORIENTATN HAVE BEEN HELD, IF TERMTENTLY.) “JT GIVE ME 20 MUT,” HE SAID, TO HOLD “A VERY ANK, HONT NVERSATN. THAT’S ONE WAY OF REACHG EVERYONE.”HE’S UNSELED TRANS ATHLET TOO. OF LATE, THE RIGHT’S ANTI-LGBTQ SENTIMENTS HAVE BEEN REDIRECTED TO LEGISLATN AIMED NOT JT AT BLOCKG TRANSGENR ATHLET OM PARTICIPATG SPORTS, BUT OVERALL, RTRICTG ACCS TO GENR-AFFIRMG MEDIL RE.O’CALLAGHAN SCRIBED WORKG WH A JUNR HIGH SCHOOL STUNT WHO HAD SURVIVED A SUICI ATTEMPT. THEIR PARENTS (THE STUNT THEY/THEM PRONOUNS) HAD REACHED OUT TO HIM, AND OVER A THREE- TO FOUR-MONTH PERD, THEIR SUATN SLOWLY IMPROVED TO THE POT THEY WERE READY TO E OUT. DPE LIVG A SMALL, NSERVATIVE TOWN, THEY’VE FULLY TRANSNED.OF ALL THE PEOPLE HE’S HEARD OM, ONE OF THE FIRST EMAILS HE RECEIVED STANDS OUT. A FATHER WHOSE CHILD HAD RECENTLY E OUT WROTE O’CALLAGHAN. IN HIS EMAIL, THE FATHER NFSED THAT HE FOUND THIS ACT SO OBJECTNABLE, “HE BASILLY DISOWNED THEM,” HE SAID. UPON HEARG O’CALLAGHAN’S STORY, THE FATHER HAD A CHANGE OF HEART—SO MUCH SO, HE WAS SPIRED TO TRY AND RENNECT WH HIS CHILD. O’CALLAGHAN DIDN’T HEAR OM THE FATHER AGA. WHETHER THEY WERE ABLE TO RENCILE, HE DON’T KNOW.BUT THE THOUGHT—THE HOPE—HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HELP THIS ONE FAY RENCILE, JT BY BEG PUBLICLY HONT WH WHO HE WAS, MEANT EVERYTHG.”THAT ALONE MA G OUT WORTH ,” HE SAID.IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE ARE STGGLG WH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, PLEASE REACH OUT TO THE NATNAL SUICI PREVENTN LIFELE AT 1-800-273-TALK (8255), OR NTACT THE CRISIS TEXT LE BY TEXTG TALK TO 741741. ROBERT SILVERMAN

Legendary Packers and Redsks ach Vce Lombardi — who had an openly gay brother — knew that some of his players were gay. In the Outsports article on O’Callaghan g out, longtime NFL executive Stt Pli says he has unseled gay NFL players before.

The NFL Network produced a documentary on Smh beg gay.

FORMER PATRTS AND CHIEFS TACKLE RYAN O’CALLAGHAN OUT AS GAY

Unrneath this seemgly idyllic scene is the tth that O’Callaghan is a tormented gay man dog everythg his power to rema the closet.

RYAN O'CALLAGHAN, FORMER NEW ENGLAND PATRTS LEMAN, OUT AS GAY

”) surround by his father and a group of uncl who had two basic methods of socializg: barbecu and homophobic jok. Growg up to a nstant soundtrack of homophobia imprted the msage that “Beg gay is ath” on O’Callaghan om an early age. O’Callaghan also mak the nsc cisn not to name a sgle dramatic “gay awakeng” moment his young life, stead makg clear that at a certa pot, he jt knew that beg gay was a part of who he was.