What to do when your son tells you he's gay.
Contents:
- YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
- MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT
- WHEN YOU FD OUT YOUR CHILD IS GAY
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY
- IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?
- MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?
- THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
- IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
Two new generatn gays share their top five tips. * when your son still gay on april 2nd *
For straight parents, havg a child reveal that he is gay n be a jolt. You might ask how long he or she has known, and why he feels he is gay, bi, or trans, suggts Jonathan Tobk, M.
D., a psychiatrist private practice New York Cy and the -thor of When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need to Know. You n fd one through the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists.
MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT
Be supportive to keep your relatnship tact when you fd out your kid is gay. Forty percent of LGBT adults say they face rejectn when they me out. * when your son still gay on april 2nd *
Take the extra step and show your child that you are terted beg the parent of a gay child. Edute yourself on what means to be gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenr. PFLAG, or Parents for Lbians and Gays, which now has a group for transgenr youth, and holds natnwi chapters and meetgs;.
For gay, bi, and queer sons, who may grow up wh the sense that somethg about their masculy is different, your reassurance means the world. “It's the words that you say that bee the thoughts their heads, ” Flor a recent study, published the Journal of Pediatric Healthre, Flor and his lleagu terviewed 30 gay, bisexual, and queer cisgenr teen boys on their munitn wh their parents about sexualy.
WHEN YOU FD OUT YOUR CHILD IS GAY
There's a new Android app out (here's the English versn) lled "Is My Son Gay?" which one n answer an easy seri of qutns ("Are you divorced?") that will tell you if, fact, your son is a gay person. * when your son still gay on april 2nd *
Aga and aga, the boys emphasized the importance of an open and ongog clive nversatn about sexualy, one that acknowledg the existence of gay sex. No matter how awkward, the nversatns signaled that ’s okay to e to mom or dad, that they n nfi their parents, and that they n ask them qutns — even before turng to iends or the nversatns are all the more ccial the era of “Don’t Say Gay” legislatn, one terviewee noted. ”Among the biggt securi a gay, bisexual, or queer boy has: that g out will dispt his relatnship wh you.
”In his Journal of Pediatric Healthre study, Flor found that was important to gay, bi, and queer youth that their parents acknowledged sex and were open to clive nversatns about — the discsns helped remove some of the stigma of gay sex and rerced the ia that home is a safe environment. ”Chanc are, you’ve msed up the past — lghed at a homophobic joke on televisn, ma a remark about a man’s feme cloth or prentatn, or reacted wh disfort to nversatns about same-sex relatnships or sex.
More gay people are g out and g out earlier than ever before this untry. The creasgly open exampl of a normalized homosexual adulthood are givg young gay men and women the urage to be hont and open about their sexualy, and are changg the opns of the people they are g out to.
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY
I've got a big gay gui to help you out.
I got together wh two new generatn gays (Marie and Stt) at Canada's top secret gay headquarters (Starbucks) to get their take on morn dos and don'ts for parents wh gay kids g out. The are their top five Foster a posive LGBTQ atmosphereHomosexualy all shap and siz. If you feel your child may be gay, one of the most important thgs you n do is create a gay-iendly environment, you jt don't have to be obv.
"It n be as easy as reactg kdly or exprsg affy toward gay people the news or on TV too. Be patient and let your gay souffle fish okg before you open the oven 'T: Say "I still love you no matter what"This seems like a nice thg to say and 's somethg you will see a lot of dramatizatns on TV.
IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?
But as Stt pots out there is a subtext: "Sayg 'I love you no matter what' suggts that your kid's gayns is somethg to be overlooked the name of love. It translat to 'I love you even though you are gay' as if gayns were an illns or aberratn. '"DON'T: Make about youComg out is a big al a gay person's life.
MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?
Stt's parents are probably feelg bad that they didn't foster a gay-posive environment and are feelg a ltle guilty about their son sufferg silence.
If your son or dghter don't feel fortable talkg to you right away, or if you don't feel fortable talkg about right away, try nsultg another gay person or anizatn (ex PFLAG) is a suatn Marie experienced tellg me, "Bee I was away at school after g out to my mom, I didn't have the experience of 'livg wh ' daily so I wasn't aware that she was really stgglg wh . But about a year ago she admted to me that she did stggle wh unrstandg at first, but that changed when she spoke to other gay people and sought out rourc for parents of gay people.
They helped her unrstand that beg gay don't change who your son/dghter is. "DON'T: Ask if is a phaseYour gay son or dghter knows who they are attracted to the same way you do.
THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
Ie: askg if there was a trmatic experience or relatnship that ed your kid to "turn, " (I thk this is very mon for gay women to be asked) or if they jt "haven't met the right guy/girl yet. "The tips are meant to smooth over some mon speed bumps the morn g out procs, however, not all Canadian kids are lucky enough to have a fay open to havg a gay kid or open to changg their mds on homosexualy. Luckily this untry is replete wh rourc to help gay kids through a tough time that n sometim leave them homels or suicidal.
If you are a gay person crisis anizatns like PFLAG Canada, Kids Help Phone, Egale Canada are jt a ll or click 'T: Make about youOne of the most mon reactns om parents n be steppg to a closet of their own, feelg the need to hi the fact that their child has jt e out. "I love you, and I am here for you" is what your child needs to hear when announcg they are gay.
Even wh social chang such as the Marriage Equaly Act and greater acceptance of gay rights, g out is still a trmatic event for some people, says McElroy, who works wh gay youths at the health center.
IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
But many gay advot suggt that even if parents are acceptg, they should never ask pot-blank about sexual orientatn. Based on their experienc, Rso and Dannielle Owens-Reid 2010 started a support anizatn for young adults lled Everyone Is Gay.