Gay Parents Raisg Kids: How Will They Fare? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHY GAY PARENTS MAY BE THE BT PARENTS
• GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*
• WHY GAY PARENTS ARE GOOD PARENTS
• IT'S SCIENCE: 6 REASONS GAY PARENTS ARE THE BT PARENTS
• GAY PARENTS AS GOOD AS STRAIGHT ON
• 5 SCIENTIFIC REASONS GAY PARENTS ARE AWOME

WHY GAY PARENTS MAY BE THE BT PARENTS

9), Pope Benedict lled gay marriage a threat "to the future of humany self, " cg the need for children to have heterosexual rearch on fai head by gays and lbians don't back up the dire assertns. In fact, some ways, gay parents may brg talents to the table that straight parents don' parents "tend to be more motivated, more mted than heterosexual parents on average, bee they chose to be parents, " said Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark Universy Massachetts who rearch gay and lbian parentg. "And while rearch dit that kids of gay parents show few differenc achievement, mental health, social functng and other measur, the kids may have the advantage of open-mdns, tolerance and role mols for equable relatnships, acrdg to some rearch.

GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?

) [5 Myths About Gay People Debunked]Adoptg the needitGay adoptn recently ed ntroversy Illois, where Catholic Chari adoptn servic cid November to cease offerg servic bee the state refed fundg unls the groups agreed not to discrimate agast gays and lbians. Acrdg to a 2007 report by the Williams Instute and the Urban Instute, 65, 000 kids were livg wh adoptive gay parents between 2000 and 2002, wh another 14, 000 foster hom head by gays and lbians. Donaldson Adoptn Instute found that, of gay and lbian adoptns at more than 300 agenci, 10 percent of the kids placed were olr than 6 — typilly a very difficult age to adopt out.

More than half of the kids adopted by gays and lbians had special report didn't pare the adoptn preferenc of gay upl directly wh those of heterosexual upl, said thor David Brodzsky, rearch director at the Instute and -edor of "Adoptn By Lbians and Gay Men: A New Dimensn of Fay Diversy" (Oxford Universy Prs, 2011). Part of that uld be their own preferenc, and part uld be bee of discrimatn by adoptn agenci that puts more difficult children wh what seworkers see as "ls sirable" matter how you slice , Brodzsky told LiveScience, gays and lbians are highly terted adoptn as a group. "When you thk about the 114, 000 children who are eed for adoptn who ntue to live foster re and who are not beg readily adopted, the goal is to crease the pool of available, terted and well-traed dividuals to parent the children, " Brodzsky addn, Brodzsky said, there's evince to suggt that gays and lbians are pecially acceptg of open adoptns, where the child retas some ntact wh his or her birth parents.

"Intertgly, we fd that a small percentage, but enough to be noteworthy, [of birth mothers] make a nsc cisn to place wh gay men, so they n be the only mother their child's life, " Brodzsky parentgRearch has shown that the kids of same-sex upl — both adopted and blogil kids — fare no worse than the kids of straight upl on mental health, social functng, school performance and a variety of other life-succs a 2010 review of virtually every study on gay parentg, New York Universy soclogist Judh Stacey and Universy of Southern California soclogist Tim Biblarz found no differenc between children raised hom wh two heterosexual parents and children raised wh lbian parents.

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*

"There's no doubt whatsoever om the rearch that children wh two lbian parents are growg up to be jt as well-adjted and succsful" as children wh a male and a female parent, " Stacey told is very ltle rearch on the children of gay men, so Stacey and Biblarz uldn't draw nclns on those fai. But Stacey spects that gay men "will be the bt parents on average, " she 's a speculatn, she said, but if lbian parents have to really plan to have a child, 's even harr for gay men.

[6 Genr Myths Bted]Nurturg toleranceIn fact, the only nsistent plac you fd differenc between how kids of gay parents and kids of straight parents turn out are issu of tolerance and open-mdns, acrdg to Goldberg. "The dividuals feel like their perspectiv on fay, on genr, on sexualy have largely been enhanced by growg up wh gay parents, " Goldberg 33-year-old man wh a lbian mother told Goldberg, "I feel I'm a more open, well-round person for havg been raised a nontradnal fay, and I thk those that know me would agree. "In her rearch, Goldberg has found that many children of gay and lbian parents say that more acceptance of gay and lbian fai, not ls, would help solve this a study published onle Jan.

WHY GAY PARENTS ARE GOOD PARENTS

11, 2012, the Journal of Marriage and Fay, Goldberg terviewed another group of 49 teenagers and young adults wh gay parents and found that not one of them rejected the right of gays and lbians to marry. Children wh gay, lbian, transgenr or other sexual mory parents fare as well as, or better than, children wh parents of the oppose sex, acrdg to rearch published Monday BMJ Global Health, further unrmg a mon but unsupported argument agast equal marriage and adoptn as a growg number of stat enact laws curtailg LGBT+ rights. ” For example, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn (APA) stated 2005 that “not a sgle study has found children of lbian or gay parents to be disadvantaged any signifint rpect relative to children of heterosexual parents.

”[8] For example, a 2012 review of the 59 studi reported the 2005 APA brief on same-sex parentg “reveals a tenncy towards not only non-reprentative but racially homogeneo sampl. ”[9] Even studi of donor-semated (DI) parenthood “do not know the extent to which the paratively high socenomic stat of DI parents studied accurately reflects the mographics of lbian and gay parenthood generally.

953–971; and Loren Marks, “Same-Sex Parentg and Children’s Out: A Closer Examatn of the Amerin Psychologil Associatn’s Brief on Lbian and Gay Parentg, ” Social Science Rearch, Vol. 341–344; Norman Anrssen, Christe Amlie, and Erlg Andre Ytterøy, “Out for Children wh Lbian or Gay Parents: A Review of Studi om 1978 to 2000, ” Sndavian Journal of Psychology, Vol.

IT'S SCIENCE: 6 REASONS GAY PARENTS ARE THE BT PARENTS

In the parisons, the study tak to nsiratn young adult children’s age, genr, race/ethnicy, mother’s tn level, perceived childhood hoehold e, experience beg bullied as a youth, and state’s legislative gay-iendls. It is difficult to obta an accurate unt of same-sex parent fai bee many lbians and gay men are not open about their sexual orientatn due to fears of discrimatn, such as loss of employment, loss of child ctody, and antigay vlence.

In fact, one prehensive study of children raised by lbian mothers or gay fathers nclud that children raised by same-sex parents did not differ om other children terms of emotnal functng, sexual orientatn, stigmatizatn, genr role behavr, behavral adjtment, genr inty, learng and gra pot averag. Another study reported that children gay and lbian hoeholds are more likely to talk about emotnally difficult topics, and they are often more rilient, passnate and tolerant. One of the biggt challeng facg same-sex parented fai is that they mt live a culture that supports heterosexist and homophobic attus and beliefs, which n affect the fai a variety of ways.

GAY PARENTS AS GOOD AS STRAIGHT ON

Today, there are many therapists available who specialize gay and lbian issu and provi a safe, nonjudgmental and unrstandg environment for the fay. Frequently, gay and lbian parented fai will seek theraptic help for guidance, support, and regnn that they may not be receivg om the broar social arena.

Relatnships and problems wh non-blogil parent figur are mon among lbian and gay parented fai simply due to the blogil plexi volved wh nceivg children when parents are the same sex. Though many fay relatnships may be plex, explag fay relatnships is uniquely plex for lbian and gay parented fai bee of the lack of societal norms and relevant exampl media, stereotyped notns about such relatnships that are mon, and the fear of discrimatn faced by the fai.

5 SCIENTIFIC REASONS GAY PARENTS ARE AWOME

Competent parentg may be fluenced by gay and lbian parents’ abily to accept and acknowledge their inty and how they are able to negotiate livg a heterosexist, homophobic, or otherwise discrimatory society, while rearg their children a fay un that is not socially sanctned.

Therapists acknowledge the prevalence both of homophobia that is experienced by the fay as a rult of the actns of others, as well as the existence of ternalized homophobia and how this may impact fai. Both ternalized homophobia and experienc of outsi discrimatn may mean that fai need more time therapy to build rapport wh the therapist and to feel fortable disclosg personal and fay-related ncerns. The days, gay parents are no novelty: We see them strollg through our neighborhoods, participatg our PTA meetgs, and, perhaps most notably, appearg on our TV screens: Mchell and Cam, fathers to Lily, on the ratgs smash Morn Fay; Glee’s Sue Sylvter, expectant mom to a baby nceived wh an as-yet-unrevealed sperm donor, and Rachel’s dads, played wh humor and grace by Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stok.

The Hollywood exampl are important that they’ve helped prent gay parentg as not unlike straight parentg: challengg, joyful, plited, and most of all, entirely normal. Though this media mastreamifitn of gay parentg is a relatively new phenomenon, for s, gay parents have had children all sorts of fay nfiguratns—whether through adoptn, prev heterosexual relatnships, or, creasgly, by choosg to have blogil offsprg g vro, surrogate, and other methods.