What do children ll their gay parents? | Parents and parentg | The Guardian

Contents:

• WHAT DO CHILDREN LL THEIR GAY PARENTS?
• I WAS RAISED BY 2 GAY MEN. I STILL THK CHILDREN SERVE TO BE ADOPTED TO A HOME WH A MOTHER AND A FATHER | OPN
• OUR PARENTS ARE GAY. ARE OUR FAI GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE SUPREME COURT?
• GAY ADOPTN: HOW MON IS GAY ADOPTN AND IS LEGAL?
• ADOPTIVE GAY FATHER FAI: PARENT–CHILD RELATNSHIPS AND CHILDREN'S PSYCHOLOGIL ADJTMENT
• PROCR FOR GAY COUPL LOOKG TO ADOPT
• HOW YOU CAN BEE GAY FOSTER PARENTS OR ADOPTIVE PARENTS
• GAY PARENTS

WHAT DO CHILDREN LL THEIR GAY PARENTS?

It's certaly ls nfg than the choice of lbian uple Nic and Jul the film The Kids are All Right: they are both "Mom" to their kids ll gay parents is a relatively new qutn.

And although lbians are far more likely to have children eher om prev (heterosexual) relatnships as well as together (g a sperm donor), gay dads are still que rare.

I ask Barrie Drewt-Barlow, Bra's most famo gay dad, who wh his partner Tony has five children rangg age om one to 11, how they approached the issue. The days, gay parents are no novelty: We see them strollg through our neighborhoods, participatg our PTA meetgs, and, perhaps most notably, appearg on our TV screens: Mchell and Cam, fathers to Lily, on the ratgs smash Morn Fay; Glee’s Sue Sylvter, expectant mom to a baby nceived wh an as-yet-unrevealed sperm donor, and Rachel’s dads, played wh humor and grace by Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stok. The Hollywood exampl are important that they’ve helped prent gay parentg as not unlike straight parentg: challengg, joyful, plited, and most of all, entirely normal.

I WAS RAISED BY 2 GAY MEN. I STILL THK CHILDREN SERVE TO BE ADOPTED TO A HOME WH A MOTHER AND A FATHER | OPN

Though this media mastreamifitn of gay parentg is a relatively new phenomenon, for s, gay parents have had children all sorts of fay nfiguratns—whether through adoptn, prev heterosexual relatnships, or, creasgly, by choosg to have blogil offsprg g vro, surrogate, and other methods.

Last November Illois, Catholic Chari ceased s adoptn servic after the state refed fundg unls the groups agreed not to discrimate agast gays and lbians. Although gay and lbian parents are a powerful rource for kids need of adoptn—at least half of all children foster re the U.S. Earlier this month, when Print Obama announced his support for same sex marriage days after North Carola voted to ban , he changed the nversatn nsirably by argug that ncern for children is a reason to support, rather than oppose, gay marriage.

He ced gay upl his own life, “same-sex upl who are as mted, as monogamo, as rponsible, as lovg a group of parents as any heterosexual uple that I know,” he said.

OUR PARENTS ARE GAY. ARE OUR FAI GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE SUPREME COURT?

“And some s, more so.” His support for gay marriage was self a landmark turn, but jt as notable was s direct affirmatn of gay upl as parents, which served to rebut the standard argument agast gay marriage—namely, that risks the well-beg of children and the fay. In my work, I routely saw how, wh enough support om their fai, children of gay parents veloped skills at thkg penntly and standg up for what they believed . Much of the ncern for the children of gay parents has centered specifilly on boys, who as a group have seemed, pecially recent years, prey to nfn, rentment, and stctivens—somethg creded to the risg proportn of mal beg reared fatherls hom.

GAY ADOPTN: HOW MON IS GAY ADOPTN AND IS LEGAL?

And, fact, all the rearch has reported children of gay parents feel ls bound, ls rtricted, by genr stereotyp than those raised straight hoeholds. Perhaps as a by-product of the discrimatn they sometim face, children of gay parents tend to be more sensive to others and to the posive and negative feelgs themselv.

Science has proven that homosexualy has blogil roots, and if we believe that is neher a choice nor an unlucky orientatn, then we n relax and tst that the young men and women will fd out what possibily naturally to them.

ADOPTIVE GAY FATHER FAI: PARENT–CHILD RELATNSHIPS AND CHILDREN'S PSYCHOLOGIL ADJTMENT

Of urse, children of gay parents may ponr their sexual orientatn at an early age, and tablish the terms of their sexualy wh more self-nscns than most other young adults.

But most children of gay parents will ultimately grow up to be straight, if only bee most children grow up to be straight—perd. In a 2007 paper published the Amerin Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 28 out of 46 adults wh at least one gay parent spontaneoly offered that they felt more open-md and empathetic than people not raised their suatn.

The children I studied, and those growg up around now—those kids beg raised by gay moms and dads lovg, nurturg hom—promise to offer, as adults, the bt characteristics of men and women. But the gay slurs, hostile glar, and bullyg paled parison wh the realizatn that our ernment did not stand behd and our fai—forbiddg marriage and curbg parental rights, passg state nstutnal amendments exprsly nyg our parents equal protectn, and even crimalizg their sexual relatnships.

PROCR FOR GAY COUPL LOOKG TO ADOPT

Natnal statistics om the UK have shown that each year approximately 60 children are adopted by gay upl and another 60 are adopted by lbian upl. This means that lbian, gay and or bisexual potential adoptive parents go through the same procs as straight fai that are tryg to adopt a child to their fay. Rearch on the psychologil velopment and well-beg of children raised by same-sex parents has foced almost exclively on fai head by lbian mothers rather than gay fathers.

Although has nsistently been shown that children wh lbian mothers do not differ om children tradnal fai wh rpect to psychologil adjtment or sex-typed behavr (Goldberg, 2010; Patterson, 2006, 2009), the circumstanc of children wh gay fathers are somewhat different.

HOW YOU CAN BEE GAY FOSTER PARENTS OR ADOPTIVE PARENTS

Not only are they raised by same-sex parents but also is rare for fathers, whether heterosexual or gay, to be primary regivers. Moreover, the wir social environment n have a marked impact on children's psychologil well-beg, and children wh gay fathers may be exposed to greater prejudice and discrimatn than children wh lbian mothers bee gay father fai posss the addnal nontradnal feature of beg head by men (Golombok & Tasker, 2010). Neverthels, has been suggted that the genr velopment of children wh gay fathers may differ om that of children wh lbian mothers or heterosexual parents due to the prence of two male parents and the absence of a female parent om the home.

GAY PARENTS

Goldberg, Kashy, and Smh (2012) have postulated that children wh gay fathers may show ls sex-typed behavr than children wh heterosexual parents rultg om a ls sex-typed fay environment, and girls gay father fai may show ls sex-typed behavr than girls lbian mother fai due to the absence of a female role mol om the recent years, a growg number of gay father fai have been created through adoptn (Brodzsky & Pertman, 2011). In addn to the strsors experienced by adoptive parents generally, gay adoptive fathers may be exposed to stigma regardg their sexual inty (Goldberg, 2010). Inial vtigatns of adoptive gay father fai have reported posive fay functng wh rpect to qualy of parentg and children's psychologil well-beg (Averett, Nalavany, & Ryan, 2009; Erich, Kanenberg, Case, Allen, & Bogdanos, 2009; Erich, Lng, & Kdle, 2005; Lng, Erich, & Kanenberg, 2005; Ryan, 2007).

Usg parent and teacher qutnnair, prchool children adopted fancy by gay fathers the Uned Stat were found to be as well adjted as those adopted by lbian or heterosexual parents, wh no differenc parentg strs, parental disciple, or parental relatnship satisfactn acrdg to fay type. In terms of genr velopment, no differenc were intified the sex-typed behavr of eher boys or girls between gay father, lbian mother, and heterosexual parent fai. This study ntribut to this emergg body of rearch by vtigatg larger sampl of gay, lbian, and heterosexual adoptive fai the Uned Kgdom g standardized terview and observatnal and qutnnaire measur of parental well-beg, qualy of parent–child relatnships, child adjtment, and child sex-typed behavr, admistered to parents, children, and a theoretil perspective, the study is found upon a velopmental systems approach (Lerner, Lew-Bizan, & Warren, 2011), whereby bidirectnal relatns between dividuals, the fay, and the wir social world, cludg historil time and place, are viewed as fluential velopment.