What do children ll their gay parents? | Parents and parentg | The Guardian

Contents:

• WHAT DO CHILDREN LL THEIR GAY PARENTS?
• I WAS RAISED BY 2 GAY MEN. I STILL THK CHILDREN SERVE TO BE ADOPTED TO A HOME WH A MOTHER AND A FATHER | OPN
• OUR PARENTS ARE GAY. ARE OUR FAI GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE SUPREME COURT?
• GAY ADOPTN: HOW MON IS GAY ADOPTN AND IS LEGAL?
• ADOPTIVE GAY FATHER FAI: PARENT–CHILD RELATNSHIPS AND CHILDREN'S PSYCHOLOGIL ADJTMENT
• PROCR FOR GAY COUPL LOOKG TO ADOPT
• HOW YOU CAN BEE GAY FOSTER PARENTS OR ADOPTIVE PARENTS
• GAY PARENTS

WHAT DO CHILDREN LL THEIR GAY PARENTS?

It's certaly ls nfg than the choice of lbian uple Nic and Jul the film The Kids are All Right: they are both "Mom" to their kids ll gay parents is a relatively new qutn.

And although lbians are far more likely to have children eher om prev (heterosexual) relatnships as well as together (g a sperm donor), gay dads are still que rare. I ask Barrie Drewt-Barlow, Bra's most famo gay dad, who wh his partner Tony has five children rangg age om one to 11, how they approached the issue.

The days, gay parents are no novelty: We see them strollg through our neighborhoods, participatg our PTA meetgs, and, perhaps most notably, appearg on our TV screens: Mchell and Cam, fathers to Lily, on the ratgs smash Morn Fay; Glee’s Sue Sylvter, expectant mom to a baby nceived wh an as-yet-unrevealed sperm donor, and Rachel’s dads, played wh humor and grace by Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stok.

I WAS RAISED BY 2 GAY MEN. I STILL THK CHILDREN SERVE TO BE ADOPTED TO A HOME WH A MOTHER AND A FATHER | OPN

The Hollywood exampl are important that they’ve helped prent gay parentg as not unlike straight parentg: challengg, joyful, plited, and most of all, entirely normal.

OUR PARENTS ARE GAY. ARE OUR FAI GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE SUPREME COURT?

Though this media mastreamifitn of gay parentg is a relatively new phenomenon, for s, gay parents have had children all sorts of fay nfiguratns—whether through adoptn, prev heterosexual relatnships, or, creasgly, by choosg to have blogil offsprg g vro, surrogate, and other methods.

Last November Illois, Catholic Chari ceased s adoptn servic after the state refed fundg unls the groups agreed not to discrimate agast gays and lbians.

GAY ADOPTN: HOW MON IS GAY ADOPTN AND IS LEGAL?

Although gay and lbian parents are a powerful rource for kids need of adoptn—at least half of all children foster re the U.S. Earlier this month, when Print Obama announced his support for same sex marriage days after North Carola voted to ban , he changed the nversatn nsirably by argug that ncern for children is a reason to support, rather than oppose, gay marriage.

ADOPTIVE GAY FATHER FAI: PARENT–CHILD RELATNSHIPS AND CHILDREN'S PSYCHOLOGIL ADJTMENT

He ced gay upl his own life, “same-sex upl who are as mted, as monogamo, as rponsible, as lovg a group of parents as any heterosexual uple that I know,” he said. “And some s, more so.” His support for gay marriage was self a landmark turn, but jt as notable was s direct affirmatn of gay upl as parents, which served to rebut the standard argument agast gay marriage—namely, that risks the well-beg of children and the fay.

PROCR FOR GAY COUPL LOOKG TO ADOPT

In my work, I routely saw how, wh enough support om their fai, children of gay parents veloped skills at thkg penntly and standg up for what they believed .

Much of the ncern for the children of gay parents has centered specifilly on boys, who as a group have seemed, pecially recent years, prey to nfn, rentment, and stctivens—somethg creded to the risg proportn of mal beg reared fatherls hom. And, fact, all the rearch has reported children of gay parents feel ls bound, ls rtricted, by genr stereotyp than those raised straight hoeholds. Perhaps as a by-product of the discrimatn they sometim face, children of gay parents tend to be more sensive to others and to the posive and negative feelgs themselv.

Science has proven that homosexualy has blogil roots, and if we believe that is neher a choice nor an unlucky orientatn, then we n relax and tst that the young men and women will fd out what possibily naturally to them. Of urse, children of gay parents may ponr their sexual orientatn at an early age, and tablish the terms of their sexualy wh more self-nscns than most other young adults.

HOW YOU CAN BEE GAY FOSTER PARENTS OR ADOPTIVE PARENTS

But most children of gay parents will ultimately grow up to be straight, if only bee most children grow up to be straight—perd.

In a 2007 paper published the Amerin Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 28 out of 46 adults wh at least one gay parent spontaneoly offered that they felt more open-md and empathetic than people not raised their suatn.

GAY PARENTS

The children I studied, and those growg up around now—those kids beg raised by gay moms and dads lovg, nurturg hom—promise to offer, as adults, the bt characteristics of men and women.

But the gay slurs, hostile glar, and bullyg paled parison wh the realizatn that our ernment did not stand behd and our fai—forbiddg marriage and curbg parental rights, passg state nstutnal amendments exprsly nyg our parents equal protectn, and even crimalizg their sexual relatnships. Natnal statistics om the UK have shown that each year approximately 60 children are adopted by gay upl and another 60 are adopted by lbian upl.