Many young men intify as mostly straight — a sexual orientatn that is not que straight but also, they say, ls gay than bisexualy
Contents:
- CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
- HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
- AM I GAY?
- GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT
CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
* gay but not sexually *
So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex.
Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia. I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
I thk 's a mistake to e the terms "gay" and "homosexual" synonymoly. Homosexual is a psychologil term that refers to someone who experienc predomately same-sex attractns and may or may not fd them sirable. Consequently, they may or may not affirm them as part of their inty. Gay is... * gay but not sexually *
I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology. Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man. They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight.
Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg.
AM I GAY?
Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you. * gay but not sexually *
Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such. A Gui for Women Concerned About Their Men, but simply put, some men have no sire to be nnected wh gay culture, and scerely nsir themselv to not be gay or bisexual. In our culture, many people thk that bisexualy is jt a gateway to homosexualy, but is not.
GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT
It is te that some gay men thk at first that they are bisexual, but this is largely due to the cultural taboo agast beg gay. Our culture has cid that receivg anal sex equat to beg gay, but “gay” is more than jt a behavr.