What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)
• GAY
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

LGBTQIA+ stands for lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer (or sometim qutng), tersex, asexual, and others. G (Gay): Gay is ually a term ed to refer to men/men-aligned dividuals who are only attracted to people of the same/siar genr. However, lbians n also be referred to as gay.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

The e of the term gay beme more popular durg the 1970s. Today, bisexual and pansexual people sometim e gay to sually refer to themselv when they talk about their siar genr attractn. The regnn of bisexual dividuals is important, sce there have been perds when people who intify as bi have been misunrstood as beg gay.

Other acronym variatns that are sometim ed clu LGBTIQ (lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, tersex, and queer) and LGBTQQIP2SAA (lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer, qutng, tersex, pansexual, two-spir (2S), androgyno, and asexual).

Where a variety of orientatns and inti had prevly been referred to as "the gay muny" and later "the gay and lbian muny, " the acronym eventually evolved as a way to be more clive of other inti. “Coverage of LGBTQ issu has moved beyond simplistic polil dichotomi and toward more fully realized reprentatns, not only of the diversy of the LGBTQ muny, but also of LGBTQ people’s liv, their fai, and their fundamental cln the fabric of Amerin society, ” explas GLAAD, or the Gay & Lbian Alliance Agast Defamatn. For example, you wouldn’t say “Ali is LGBTQIA+”—you’d say “Ali is gay.

GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)

Even more clive variatns exist, such as LGBTQI2S (which reprents lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, qutng, queer, tersex, and Two-Spir). If you are terted learng more about what terms and phras should be avoid, GLAAD, the Gay & Lbian Alliance Agast Defamatn, has a reference page that offers helpful rmatn on LGBTQ terms as well as rmatn on terms that are specific to the transgenr muny.

GAY

Rearch suggts that while attus have shifted towards greater acceptance, LGBTQ+ people still face nsirable homophobia and discrimatn.

But the term n sometim seem to imply that there is a sgle, homogeno group when there are actually many dividual muni ma up of diverse dividuals. Gay, Lbian & Straight Edutn Network (GLSEN).

So many gay men grow up believg there is somethg “wrong” wh bee we are different om other supposedly “normal” mal.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

It’s not surprisg that a term like “straight-actg” shows up so often gay men’s onle personal ads. It prumably means the advertiser nsirs himself a “real” man—real, that is, acrdg to a standard of masculy he don’t attribute to other gay men. So many gay men learn we are different om other boys by havg the fact poted out and ridiculed by bulli durg our young, most imprsnable, years.

As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard. How do a gay kid survive the trma he suffers for beg different a culture that still nmns his difference as somethg bad or “ls-than” and wants to mold him to the same shape tri to mold every boy?

Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected. He needs to know that ’s okay not only to be gay if that's what he is, but to be a man who choos what beg a man means for himself. Fortunately there is a long history of gay men who bucked the accepted fns of masculy and created liv that exprsed their unrstandg of themselv and how they choose to exprs their inty as men who don’t necsarily f tradnal molds.