How to Be Happy as a Gay Man or LGBTQ Person | GTC Blog

is gay means happiness

Often the real reason gay men fd so difficult to fd love and happs is bee they are their own worst enemy. YourTango expert Rick Clemons, The Comg Out Coach, drops some rather blunt tth about how gay men need to get out of their own way.

Contents:

GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)

You may be askg, What’s the big al? Well, I thk most people don’t expect a gay person to be happy. Or to be leadg a life that he or she is sufficiently happy or nfint of to talk openly… * is gay means happiness *

Tom Robson a Brish mician and sger, one of the first, if not the very first pop artist who did not disguise or hi his homosexualy om the general public. Until then homosexual actors, micians, athlet or anyone the public eye had two choic life: to keep their homosexualy a secret, pecially om the media, or adopt the mannerisms and a of drs which were very mp but at the same time (ironilly) never admtg their sexual preferenc publicly.

Tom Robson released a very succsful song entled (Sg if you're) Glad to be Gay, was the mid-70s, and I was still at a Catholic primary school when I remember que distctly hearg gay beg ed for the first time to unteract the BrEng rogatory terms such as: poofter, poof, queer, not normal, fairy and queen that were rife at the time. Glad to be Gay.

The song was origally wrten by Tom Robson for a London gay pri.

WHO ARE THE HAPPIT? STRAIGHTS AND GAYS, BUT NOT BISEXUALS

* is gay means happiness *

An out gay sger, he subsequently formed the.

ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?

The meang of GAY is of, relatg to, or characterized by sexual or romantic attractn to people of one's same sex —often ed to refer to men only. How to e gay a sentence. Usage of Gay: Usage Gui Synonym Discsn of Gay. * is gay means happiness *

"Glad to Be Gay" is built around four vers cricizg Brish society's attus towards gay people. In the first verse, criciz the Brish police for raidg gay pubs for no reason at all, once homosexualy had been crimalized sce the 1967 Sexual Offenc Act.

BEG GAY AND INCREDIBLY HAPPYKEAY NIGEL·FOLLOWPUBLISHED THE MEANG OF LIFE IS TO GIVE LIFE A MEANG.·8 M READ·APR 15, 2015--LISTENSHARE25 AND I’M PERHAPS AT MY HAPPIT. EVER!YOU MAY BE ASKG, WHAT’S THE BIG AL? WELL, I THK MOST PEOPLE DON’T EXPECT A GAY PERSON TO BE HAPPY. OR TO BE LEADG A LIFE THAT HE OR SHE IS SUFFICIENTLY HAPPY OR NFINT OF TO TALK OPENLY ABOUT.TOO MANY A TIME THE NEWS THAT WE HEAR ABOUT THE LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR (LGBT) MUNY OR AN LGBT PERSON TEND TO BE SOMETHG BAD OR NEGATIVE. SUICIS, DISCRIMATN, JTICE, BULLYG, JT TO NAME A FEW. WE SELDOM HEAR SOMETHG GOOD OR POSIVE.IT IS IRONIC THAT THE WORD “GAY” ALSO MEANS CHEERFUL AND REEE, BEE MANY GAY PEOPLE ARE LIVG THE DIRECT OPPOSE.WELL, LET ME START MY STORY HERE:I WAS LTLE WHEN I BEGAN LEARNG THAT BEG EFFEMATE IS NO GOOD FOR A BOY.AT FIRST, PEOPLE HTED AT , MY LACK OF OBSSN WH TOY RS AND MY TERT DRSG UP BARBIE DOLLS. I WAS JT A CHILD AT THAT POT, SO I DIDN’T RE MUCH.BUT THEN PEOPLE STARTED DROPPG TERMS LIKE “SISSY,” “GAY” AND OTHER EQUIVALENTS. AT SOME POT, I REALISED THAT THOSE WORDS WERE ED TO SHAME MY BEHAVUR.BUT AS A KID, YOU DON’T REALLY UNRSTAND MUCH, DO YOU? YOU DON’T/N’T PROCS WHAT’S A PERSONAL ATTACK, WHAT’S A CRICISM, AND WHAT’S A HONT, SCERE ADVICE. AS A KID, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHG THAT HURTS YOUR FEELGS, YOU JT FEEL BAD. YOU DON’T EVALUATE WHETHER ’S NSTCTIVE CRICISM OR NOT. SIARLY, WHEN SOMEONE THROWS YOU A PLIMENT, YOU FEEL GOOD AND HAPPY. YOU DON’T DOUBLE GUS OR TRY TO READ BETWEEN THE L TO SEE IF ’S SARSM OR NOT.LIFE SEEMED SIMPLER. BEE YOU WERE SIMPLER.GROWG UP, I THK WE ALL HAD OUR EQUAL SHARE OF GOOD THGS AND BAD THGS THAT HAD BEEN SAID TO . AND THE THGS HAD EHER MA FEEL GOOD OR BAD ABOUT OURSELV. THEY ARE WHAT THAT BUILT TO THE PERSON THAT WE ARE TODAY.FOR ME, A LOT OF THE THGS THAT HAD BEEN SAID TO ME THE PAST HURT ME EPLY. I DON’T BLAME WHOEVER THOUGH — I DIDN’T EXACTLY VOICE OUT WHAT WORDS HAD HURT MY FEELGS.HERE’S ANOTHER THG ABOUT KIDS — THEY DON’T OFTEN VOLISE THEIR NER WORLD METICULO TAILS. THAT DON’T MEAN THEY WILL FET ABOUT ALL THOUGH.IN MY SUBNSC, I KNEW THAT SOMETHG WAS AMISS. WHILE I NTUED DOG MY THG, PLAYG WH BARBIE DOLLS, PLAYG HOE, PLAYG PRETEND AS A MERMAID AND ETC., I STARTED TO FEEL GUILTY. I KNEW THAT I WAS BEHAVG A WAY THAT THE ADULTS EMED AS WRONG. AS APPROPRIATE. AS SHAMEFUL. AS GAY.YOU SEE, WHEN YOU’RE TOLD AGA AND AGA THAT WHAT YOU FD TO BE SO NATURAL AND SO STCTIVE TO BE WRONG AND SHAMEFUL, YOU N’T HELP BUT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. NOT JT YOUR BEHAVUR, THE THGS YOU DO, BUT ALSO, THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE.HAVE YOU EVER FAILED A TT OR AN EXAM AND FELT REALLY BAD ABOUT ? AND WHEN YOU WENT BACK HOME AND TOLD YOUR PARENTS ABOUT , THEY THEN MA WORSE BY LECTURG YOU?THERE WAS A TIME WHEN MY LIFE WAS A NEVER-ENDG, ALL DAY, 24 HOURS TT OF WHETHER I F TO GENR STEREOTYP.SOME PARENTS MAY ARGUE THAT THEM RMG OR TG THEIR CHILD ABOUT EXISTG GENR STEREOTYP IS ACTUALLY DONE GOOD FAH. IT’S TO HELP THEIR CHILD TO AVOID BULLYG. LIKE TELLG THEIR SON NOT TO TAKE ON THE ROLE OF A PRCS OR A FAIRY WHEN PLAYG PRETEND WOULD TURN HELP HIM AVOID BEG BULLIED OR DISCRIMATED AGAST.“BUT HOW LONG DO YOU TEND TO GO ON WH THIS PROTECTIVE ACT?FOREVER?”SO YOU ARE GOG TO TEACH YOUR SON OR DGHTER THAT ORR TO AVOID BEG HATED OR DISLIKED, HE OR SHE SHOULD PURSUE THE ABSOLUTE NFORMATN TO SOCIAL AND GENR STEREOTYP?AND FOR WHAT? TO BE HAPPY? TO BE ACCEPTABLE TO OTHER PEOPLE AND TURN FEEL A SENSE OF JOY ABOUT ?THAT I TELL YOU N BE ONE OF THE SADST WAYS TO LIVE: TO BASE YOUR HAPPS ON OTHERS’ OPN OF YOU, AND NOT YOUR OWN OPN OF YOURSELF.I N STILL REMEMBER A PARTICULAR CINT OM MY CHILDHOOD WHERE I WAS TOLD BY MY MOM TO STOP “WALKG LIKE A GIRL.” SHE ADD THAT ’S SHAMEFUL FOR ME TO ACT THAT WAY AND I WOULD BE LGHED AT BY OTHER PEOPLE IF I NTUED SO. I WAS OF URSE GREATLY UPSET BY THE MENT. AND GREATLY EMBARRASSED.THAT WAS ALSO ONE OF THOSE FEW MOMENTS WHERE I LEARNED SOMETHG ABOUT SOCIAL RELATNS, THAT I NEED TO ACT A CERTA WAY SO THAT I WOULD BE ACCEPTED BY OTHER PEOPLE. THAT I SHOULDN’T ACT WAYS THAT MIGHT MAKE PEOPLE REJECT ME…BUT WH THAT, I HAD ALSO STARTED TO REJECT MYSELF, SLOWLY, B BY B.I WOULD TRY TO “RRECT” MYSELF. I LEARNED TO BE HYPERCRIL OF MYSELF, TO NICK-PICK. I WOULD TRY TO INTIFY PARTS OF MYSELF THAT PEOPLE MIGHT POSSIBLY DISLIKE, EVEN BEFORE I WAS EVER TOLD THAT THEY WERE DISLIKED.THROUGH THIS PROCS, I LEARNED MUCH ABOUT TROSPECTN ED. BUT I HAD ALSO E TO BELIEVE THAT MY NATURAL SELF ULDN’T BE TSTED. IT’S GOG TO BETRAY ME ONE DAY.SO I GOT TO FIGHT . I HAD GOT TO… NOT BE MYSELF.I SPECT AT SOME POT OF MY TEENAGE-HOOD, I HAD LOST TRACK OF WHETHER SUPPRSG MY TE SELF WAS ALL DONE FOR MY OWN BENEF, OR FOR THE BENEFS OF OTHERS.I HAD STOPPED LIVG TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY, BUT TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY.I WAS NEVER TGHT TO STAND UP TO BULLI. WELL, I NEVER TOLD MY PARENTS OR PLAED TO ANYONE THAT I WAS BULLIED SCHOOL. SO I ME UP WH MY OWN SOLUTN: I STAYED SILENT.IN FACT, I WAS ALWAYS FEAR OF SOMEONE DROPPG A HURTFUL MENT. JT SO YOU KNOW, ’S ALWAYS THE MOST NOCENT MENT DROPPED THAT HURT THE MOST — THE ARROW THAT WAS SHOT BEFORE MY FENSIVE GEAR WAS UP.I WOULD TRY TO PUT UP A BRAVE ONT, BUT ON SI I WAS CMBLG FEAR AND SHAME. AND I WOULD THEN TURN MY BACK AGAST MY OWN SELF. I WOULD PUT ON MY OWN SET OF TATED LENS, WHICH I HAD REFED B BY B THROUGH THE YEARS, AND BEE MY OWN JUDGE.I HAD THOUGHT THAT I NEED TO CHANGE THE WAY THAT I WAS SO AS TO AVOID THE HURT. THERE WAS NOTHG I ULD DO ABOUT THE BULLI; ALL I HAD TO WORK ON WAS MYSELF. AND SO I TRIED TO MAKE MYSELF SMALLER, TO STAND OUT LS. TO BE MORE… VISIBLE.IN THE END, I BEME MY OWN WORST CRIQUE.IT WAS LIKE HAVG ANOTHER VOICE MY HEAD WHICH I WAS SUPPOSED TO FEAR AND ABI TO. IT WAS MY OTHER SELF WHOM I HAD BELIEVED TO BE THE “MORE RIGHT” VERSN OF MYSELF. THE VERSN WHO WOULD BE DOG ALL THE RIGHT THGS, MAKG EVERYONE LIKE HIM. HE WHOM MY PARENTS AND RELATIV WOULD BE EXCEEDGLY PROUD OF.HE WAS THE ONE I TSTED THE MOST. AND I KNEW THAT HE’S NSTANTLY TRYG TO IMPROVE HIMSELF AT THE SAME TIME TO BE EVEN MORE SHREWD DIFFERENT SOCIAL SETTGS, AND MORE SENSIVE AND TELLIGENT PICKG UP SOCIAL CU, SO AS TO HELP ME AVOID SUATNS THAT MIGHT E ME TO EMBARRASS MYSELF.FOR YEARS I HAD LIVED LIKE THAT. AND EVEN NOW, I STILL HAVE HIM MY HEAD — THAT PART OF ME. THE ONE WHOM I THOUGHT WOULD KNOW BETTER.BUT NO.THE TTH IS, HE DON’T KNOW BETTER.HE DO NOT KNOW ANYTHG ABOUT LIVG A HONT, OPEN LIFE.HE KNOWS NOTHG ABOUT FREEDOM, OR ABOUT LIVG A LIFE WHICH IS WHOUT SHAME OR FEAR.HE IS FACT A WARD WHO N’T LIVE WHOUT PEOPLE’S APPROVAL OF HIM. THEIR S, THEIR PRAIS AND THEIR ACCEPTANCE.HE IS A PEOPLE PLEASER WHO THRIV ON OTHERS’ ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF HIM BEE HE NEVER HAD THE PACY TO LOVE HIMSELF REGARDLS.HE NEVER HAD THE URAGE TO BE WHO HE REALLY IS. BEE HE WAS NOT TGHT TO BE BRAVE. HE WAS TOLD TO FEAR NSTANTLY AND BE WARY ALWAYS.AND HE WAS ME, AND I WAS HIM.I WAS MY WORST ENEMY.I HAVE E A LONG WAY. A LONG, LONG WAY TO WHO I AM TODAY.I WAS LIVG THE FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT MO FOR AS LONG AS I N REMEMBER. IF I WASN’T FIGHTG OTHERS, I WAS FIGHTG MYSELF.BUT NOW, I AM NO LONGER AAID OF BEG LLED OUT FOR BEG GAY. YOU N PASS A JOKE ABOUT ME AND MY “GAYNS,” I DON’T RE. OR RATHER, I AM GLAD THAT YOU BOTHER TALKG ABOUT ME. BEE THAT MOMENT, I WOULD HAVE MEANT SOMETHG TO YOU. AND YOU? YOU WOULD MEAN NOTHG MORE THAN THE OLD VERSN OF ME WHOM I’VE BUT GROWN OUT OF.THE FIGHT IS OVER.TWO S WORTH OF .LIFE SUCKS SOMETIM. AND WILL BE A WHOLE LOT WORSE IF YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THE WRONGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY YOU HAVE.

Maps and charts show where around the world gay men report beg happit * is gay means happiness *

In the send verse, pots to the hypocrisy of Gay News beg prosecuted for obsceny stead of porn magaz like magaz Playboy or the tabloid The Sun which publish photographs of topls girls on Page 3. It also criciz the way homosexual people are portrayed other parts of the prs, pecially nservative newspapers News of the World and Sunday Exprs.

5 (RATHER BLUNT) REASONS WHY GAY MEN STGGLE TO FD HAPPS

On the third verse, pots out the extreme nsequenc of homophobia, such as vlence agast LGBT people. For me, a young child livg London at the time, the term gay (meang homosexual and not "happy") was ed much more equently by the media and the general public after the release of "Glad to be Gay".

HOW TO BE HAPPY AS A GAY MAN

It also helped that Tom Robson looked straight and was not the least mp, he did not f the stereotypil ia of how homosexuals looked and behaved.

GAY

” Optns of gay/lbian; bisexual; heterosexual or straight; or don’t know.

” [only 4 optns, neglect inti such as mostly straight, pansexual, mostly gay, asexual, kk, qutng]. Only 2% intified as gay/lbian and only 2% intified as bisexual.

GAY USED TO MEAN HAPPY

Counter to mon sense, over a third of those wh lifelong same-sex partners and nearly half of those wh lifelong both-sex partners intified not as gay or bisexual but as straight.

If you ed an inty measure, gays, lbians, and bisexuals were ls happy than straights. If, however, you ed same-sex behavr, gays and lbians were as happy as straights, but not so for dividuals wh both-sex partners--they remaed relatively unhappy.

DO HAPPS MEANS GAY

Bee the vast majory of dividuals who intify as bisexual are women (equently the 60% to 80% range), any study that b gays/lbians wh bisexuals and fds negative mental or physil health problems likely distorts our unrstandg of sexual mori and th tells ltle about male bisexuals, gay mal, and lbians. Th, if the goal of rearch is to document the problematic nature of beg gay, lbian, or bisexual, asssg sexual inty is the way to go. Bottom le: Be reful what you read, hear, and believe about gays, lbians, and bisexuals.

A good illtratn of the facts is the recent spate of news stori about how gay men are happier than heterosexual men. "A new study has found that gay and bisexual men are ls likely to be prsed and have psychologil problems than heterosexual men. "Of urse gays are ls strsed.

THE UNTRI WHERE GAY MEN ARE THE HAPPIT

Alas, none of this good news for gays and spankg fetishists is really backed up by the data the origal study, which, while trigug, is hardly evince that is beg out and gay that mak men happier (let alone women). For one, the study reced participants Montreal, a large and fairly progrsive cy where beg openly gay do not e wh high social or enomic sts.

MEANG OF GAY ENGLISH

While gay men the study seemed to experience ls strs and prsn than straight men, there are a variety of alternative explanatns that might expla this fact (like whether they worked out or not; whether they had children or not; e level and stabily).

In other words, you might be out at work and at home, but if your grandparents don't know you're gay, then you're marked as closeted.

Once upon a time there was a gay man and he me out of the closet and was happy and lived happily everyafter. It seems like more than jt bad reportg to tell gay men and women that happs is up to them, not the world at large, and happs will rive om disclosure when that very disclosure n be dangero.

WHY IS A GAY PERSON NSIRED HAPPYNS?

All the study really told is that beg gay, male, young, ted and whe a large, libreral cy like Montreal n be advantageo. Well, I thk most people don’t expect a gay person to be happy. Or to be leadg a life that he or she is sufficiently happy or nfint of to talk openly many a time the news that we hear about the Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenr (LGBT) muny or an LGBT person tend to be somethg bad or negative.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* IS GAY MEANS HAPPINESS

Why is a gay person nsired happyns? - Answers.

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