Si Guys: Thkg Beyond Gay Male "Tops" and "Bottoms" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"
• GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV
• I’M GAY AND I’M NOT A TOP OR A BOTTOM – I’M A ‘SI’
• GAY
• GAY
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY

SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"

“I ntributed a term to the gay male muny. Gay men are always fg themselv as top and bottom or verse for terurse.

What about gay men who don’t engage terurse? A third add: “Personally I’m not crazy about the term ‘si’ (sounds to me like someone lyg there, dog not much) but ’s good that Grdr acknowledg that there’s more to gay sex than anal. The gay datg app Grdr n seem like a mefield wh s extensive e of slang – here’s what terms like GEN, NPNC and si is the most popular LGBTQ datg app the world and a cemented part of gay culture.

GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV

SiThe word “si” the ntext of Grdr, and gay culture more generally, refers to someone’s sexual preference. Acrdg to Urban Dictnary, a si is “a homosexual male who do not enjoy anal peratn (givg or receivg), but will engage other forms of same sex activy. Gay men who intify as a "si".

When to sex, whether you’re gay, bi, or straight, we’ve all been a ltle brawashed to believg that there is this thg lled “normal.

I’M GAY AND I’M NOT A TOP OR A BOTTOM – I’M A ‘SI’

In the gay male muny, ually, you’re eher nsired to be a “top, ” the perator, or a “bottom, ” the perated, or you’re versatile (n go eher way).

For stance, thk about datg apps for gay men.

But what if you’re a gay man who don’t enjoy anal sex or fds anal peratn paful, don’t like the feelg or the troublome amount of preparatn and cleang up need for to be a pleasurable experience, or simply don’t experience anal sex as erotic? That’s why a 2013 article I wrote for Huffgton Post, "Guys on the ‘Si’: Lookg Beyond Gay Tops and Bottoms, " I began workg on popularizg the term “si” orr for the gay men to have the language to exprs their sexual and erotic preference. Sis often suffer the accatns of other gay men, such as:.

GAY

I’ve seen gay male clients who rry a load of shame about not likg or wantg to get or give anal sex.

There are straight men who like havg anal sex and/or beg perated wh a dildo, and there are gay men who don’t. The gay male datg app, Grdr, recently add the sexual preference I created beyond jt top, bottom, and vers when to gay men engagg terurse: "si. That’s what happened 2013 when, an article I wrote for the Huffgton Post, “Guys on the Si, ” I created the term “si” for gay men who aren’t to beg a “top” or a “bottom” or practicg anal peratn.

Bee up until that time the gay muny, havg “real sex” was only about peratn. And most gay male circl, this is still the se.

GAY

The term “Si” was created when 2010, I was talkg wh some lleagu about “tops” (gay men who prefer the sertive role durg peratn) and “bottoms” (gay men who prefer the receptive role durg peratn) and outed myself for beg a gay man who don’t engage anal terurse at all. Beg a “top, ” “bottom, ” or “vers” (short for "versatile, " or someone who uld go eher way) were the only acceptable mols the gay muny, and I felt dissed for not ftg to the mold. About a year and a half ago I formed a Facebook group lled “Si Guys” and some of the guys the group started a petn to Grdr, the gay datg app, to add “si” to their list of preferred posns and filters.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY

And now that Grdr has updated s settgs, gay men are addg as a sexual posn to their app self-intifyg as a si.

It’s been around forever—but we jt didn’t have a snappy term to scribe the gay muny. Back 2011, an article was published the Journal of Sexual Medice which rearchers surveyed 25, 000 gay and bisexual men Ameri about their most recent sexual enunters, and only 36 percent said they had bottomed, and 34 percent said they had topped.