Often the real reason gay men fd so difficult to fd love and happs is bee they are their own worst enemy. YourTango expert Rick Clemons, The Comg Out Coach, drops some rather blunt tth about how gay men need to get out of their own way.
Contents:
- ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?
- WHO ARE THE HAPPIT? STRAIGHTS AND GAYS, BUT NOT BISEXUALS
- THE UNTRI WHERE GAY MEN ARE THE HAPPIT
- GAY AND LBIAN WELL-BEG
- 5 (RATHER BLUNT) REASONS WHY GAY MEN STGGLE TO FD HAPPS
- HOW TO BE HAPPY AS A GAY MAN
- WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT BEG GAY?: PERSPECTIV OM YOUTH
ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?
Maps and charts show where around the world gay men report beg happit * is gay happiness *
Alas, none of this good news for gays and spankg fetishists is really backed up by the data the origal study, which, while trigug, is hardly evince that is beg out and gay that mak men happier (let alone women). While gay men the study seemed to experience ls strs and prsn than straight men, there are a variety of alternative explanatns that might expla this fact (like whether they worked out or not; whether they had children or not; e level and stabily).
It seems like more than jt bad reportg to tell gay men and women that happs is up to them, not the world at large, and happs will rive om disclosure when that very disclosure n be dangero.
WHO ARE THE HAPPIT? STRAIGHTS AND GAYS, BUT NOT BISEXUALS
Coverg issu val to the psychologil health and happs of gays, lbians, and their fai. * is gay happiness *
Counter to mon sense, over a third of those wh lifelong same-sex partners and nearly half of those wh lifelong both-sex partners intified not as gay or bisexual but as straight. If, however, you ed same-sex behavr, gays and lbians were as happy as straights, but not so for dividuals wh both-sex partners--they remaed relatively unhappy.
THE UNTRI WHERE GAY MEN ARE THE HAPPIT
Bee the vast majory of dividuals who intify as bisexual are women (equently the 60% to 80% range), any study that b gays/lbians wh bisexuals and fds negative mental or physil health problems likely distorts our unrstandg of sexual mori and th tells ltle about male bisexuals, gay mal, and lbians. Lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr people are still officially nsired crimals roughly one-third of untri worldwi, and homosexualy is punishable by ath seven untri.
GAY AND LBIAN WELL-BEG
Pla Romeo, an Amsterdam-based datg and muny se, llaborated wh the Johann Gutenberg Universy of Maz Germany to rry out an onle survey of 115, 000 gay men around the world.
They bed rankgs on public opn, public behavr and life satisfactn – how gay men feel about society’s view on homosexualy, how gay men feel they are treated by other people, and how satisfied gay men are wh their own liv, rpectively – to one worldwi rankg on gay happs.
5 (RATHER BLUNT) REASONS WHY GAY MEN STGGLE TO FD HAPPS
Iceland tops their list as the untry where gay men are the happit, followed by Norway, Denmark, Swen, Uguay, Canada, Israel, Netherlands, Swzerland and Luxembourg. Fifty six percent of rponnts the 20 worst untri said this, pared wh 20 percent the 20 bt many societi are growg more acceptg of homosexualy, gay men some untri report that thgs have gotten worse the past few years. It is somewhat difficult to get a read on how wispread or succsful the prophylactic e of HIV treatment meditns is, but the movement of HIV preventn this directn as well as the hostile reactn by some, is revealg what is says about gay men and our general attus about sexualy.
HOW TO BE HAPPY AS A GAY MAN
Others argue that, whether or not homosexualy is an illns, banng such therapy terfer wh self-termatn—that people have the right to try to change their sexual orientatn.
Consirg that the Catholic Church, nservative Jews and many fundamentalist Christians have been the most outspoken opponents of gay rights, is perhaps not surprisg that LGB people and their fai intify relign as a major obstacle acceptg homosexualy, eher themselv or a fay member.
There are licensed mental health profsnals who practice "reparative" or "nversn" therapi signed to make gay people heterosexual, spe the evince that 's not only effective but damagg. It's time to "man up" and get to the real reasons gay men have so many problems fdg love and Tth: We're Our Own Worst Enemi Far too many gay men script our liv to the envy of Sex and the Cy wrers.
WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT BEG GAY?: PERSPECTIV OM YOUTH
However, for gay men, the greener pasture often seems (seems beg the operative word) to have a 6-pack vers a 5-pack, and a bank acunt that's not nsistently problem that aris wh the "somethg better will e along" mentaly is you sudnly wake up one day realizg you're still wag for the green grass to grow. You will be what matters, and the amount of self-love and self-nfince will be 's a few more reasons why the problem wh gay men is themselv:We don't love ourselv enough to know how to love someone else, and then we bch bee we n't fd foc is outward-driven stead of are the total sum of the five gay men we spend most of our time wh.
Published fal eded form as:PMCID: PMC3326393NIHMSID: NIHMS358675AbstractThis article explor gay and bisexual male adolcents’ posive perceptns of their sexual orientatn inty. Addnal primary them and sub-them were intified wh each tegory that further illtrate how gay/bisexual youth were able to velop posive nceptualizatns of their sexual orientatn spe experiencg negative societal msag about beg gay/bisexual.