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Parents of a gay son who will be marryg his boyiend are thrilled by the marriage, but ls so that their son is droppg their last name.

Contents:

WHAT DO IT MEAN WHEN A GAY SON TAK HIS HBAND’S SURNAME?

But when genr norms go out the wdow, the cisn n take on a whole new level of plexy and year’s landmark Supreme Court lg, which legalized gay marriage around the untry, means same-sex upl will be facg the name-change qutn more than ever before. · “I thk the son is celebratg the fact that he has this optn, which was not available to gay people before now.

”· “For gay upl, choosg one name or the other n have ls to do wh the ‘dynamics’ of the relatnship than who has a ‘better name, but outsirs’ worryg/wonrg about this says a lot about existg sex-role stereotyp. I emailed Andrew Solomon, the thor of the acclaimed “Far From the Tree, ” and hband of John Habich Solomon, for his take on John’s name change:“We felt that the same way that ’s radil for heterosexual women to refe to change their nam, ditg that they haven’t been subsumed to a new inty wh marriage, so is equally radil for gay people to change their nam; associat firmly wh the ia of fay, of permanence, of beg part of a many-generatns tradn of timacy. Feel ee to apply the l when you’re referrg to a married gay uple on thgs like weddg vatns, holiday rds, and letters.

Addrs each member of a male married gay uple as “Mr. All the l for addrsg a married gay uple wh the same last name apply whether they have chosen to e 1 last name or to e a hyphenated versn of both their last nam. There are general l you n follow, but not every gay uple has the same preference, so they might appreciate if you ask.

HOW TO ADDRS A MARRIED GAY COUPLE WH THE SAME LAST NAME

Addrs each member of a female married gay uple as “Mrs.

A SYMBOL OF MARRIAGE: GAY UPL TAKE ON PARTNER'S LAST NAME

This uld apply anytime you're vg a married gay person you know to some kd of formal event and you're vg they're partner as a "pl 1.

MRS. & MRS. SMH: HOW SOME GAY COUPL RECLAIM OLD MARRIAGE TRADNS

There are no l set stone about whose name you have to put first when you’re addrsg a gay uple. For example, one member of a gay married uple might intify as more feme and would th prefer to be lled Mrs.

LGBT is still a popular term ed to discs genr and sexual mori, but all GSRM are wele beyond lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr people who nsent to participate a safe space. For married gay upl - did you change your last name after marriage? If you are a married gay uple - did you keep or change your name/s and why?

CHANGG YOUR NAME AFTER A SAME-SEX (GAY) MARRIAGE.

Proponents exist on both sis of the name-change issue, pecially wh the gay and lbian muny.

Gay and lbian upl nsirg changg their last nam face some of the same disrd that heterosexual upl experience. This thought procs holds te even when a gay marriage is volved wh the dividual who choos the spoe’s name beg portrayed as the ls pennt of the two spo. Sce is nsired tradnal to change a last name durg the marriage procs, some gay and lbian upl want to participate this aspect.

HOW TO ADDRS A MARRIED GAY COUPLE WH THE SAME LAST NAME

For some gay and lbian upl, rporatg a name change after marriage volv the emotnal issu of fay intifitn, mment, and love. In Alabama, explas Andy Page, who grew up near Birmgham and hop to someday adopt a child wh his hband Lee Hawk, a gay uple nnot adopt jotly, so they mt choose one person to be the adoptive parent.

CHANGG YOUR NAME AFTER A SAME-SEX (GAY) MARRIAGE.

"A lot of LGB [lbian, gay, and bisexual] upl reject the ia of changg their nam bee of the sense that the name-changg practice has roots a genred, sexist marriage stutn which women lerally beme their hband's legal property and lost their inty unr the law, " explas Boso, whose rearch foc on law and personal inty, and who has cid agast takg his hband's last name due to the publitns he already has unr his own.

In October 2008, racg agast California's gay marriage ban, Chloe and Frankie Frankeny wed legally San Francis wh one chore already done: Chloe had taken her wife's name two years before. "Wh a battle over the state's ban on gay marriage possibly head to the U.

It's a symbol renred even stronger now that legal gay marriag are on hold California, and for partners who've never had the optn. Logistilly, a name-change for gay upl isn't always as simple as trottg out a marriage certifite, the proof most required heterosexual marriage.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY COUPLE CHANGE LAST NAME

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nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs hbOl ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp kjLxCB"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT hsydfY"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/culture/opn"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Opn</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bwDymH isouMH">In a Same-Sex Marriage, Who Gets to Keep Their Name?</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB eDhhwT ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH uMYIE byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd hHRAkO haUSoQ eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/patricia-garcia">Patricia Garcia</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2015-07-30T10:35:48-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd eNpMLJ jDQNvc">July 30, 2015</time></div></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz fZjRpX"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="same sex marriage last nam" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE bViSGz ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN dWhfyS"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd ftKqkn fNaHcW ptn__cred">Illtrated by Sam Kalda / Fol Art</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kbAoLA article-body__ntent"><div class="ActnBarWrapperContent-lasBkU cAHp"><div class="ActnBarWrapperComponent-cjwxLS bEeSLb"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh SFwwF viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU dPbgNk bookmark large-screen"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" d="M11.7661 16.3228L4.5 20.1695V3.5H19.5V20.1695L12.2339 16.3228L12 16.199L11.7661 16.3228Z" stroke-lep="square"/></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd fcKlBk gkccfO">Save</span></button></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh fOiOQm viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU gdCxmM bookmark mobile"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" d="M11.7661 16.3228L4.5 20.1695V3.5H19.5V20.1695L12.2339 16.3228L12 16.199L11.7661 16.3228Z" stroke-lep="square"/></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd fcKlBk gkccfO">Save</span></button></div></div></div><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Planng a weddg always prents a seri of nundms: Should a uple settle on a ceremony upstate or a quick trip to Cy Hall? Will there be chicken or fish for dner? Will the drs be black tie or cktail attire? But for same-sex upl that ci to tie the knot, there’s one qutn that requir an even lengthier discsn: Who gets to keep their last name?</p><p>Tradn has long dictated that a woman is to adopt her hband’s name after marriage, and while more women than ever are choosg to keep their main nam, the majory—<a href=">around 80 to 90 percent, studi have shown</a>—still abi by the old ctom. There are exceptns, of urse. Addg a send last name is a popular alternative, à la <a href="><strong>Angela Jolie Pt</strong></a> or <a href="><strong>Beyoncé Knowl-Carter</strong></a>. And then there’s the rare se of a hband adoptg his wife’s name, like <a href="><strong>Zoe Saldana’</strong></a>s spoe, Mar, who <a href=">opted for his wife’s surname</a>. But when genr norms go out the wdow, the cisn n take on a whole new level of plexy and nfn.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>This year’s <a href=">landmark Supreme Court lg</a>, which legalized gay marriage around the untry, means same-sex upl will be facg the name-change qutn more than ever before. Project manager <strong>Barrie Segal</strong> and her wife, <strong>Anne Alexanr</strong>, who recently wed New York, hadn’t discsed the issue until they were si Cy Hall. “The way works is when you’re filg your marriage license, you have to ci then and there if you want to change your name,” said Alexanr. “It didn’t even occur to me until then,” Segal add. “The only person who even asked me who was gog to take the other’s name was my dad.”</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Segal and her wife ultimately cid to keep their own nam. While <em>Bloomberg</em> edor <strong>Chris Rovzar</strong>, who married his hband last year, cid to keep his last name for profsnal reasons. “When you’re a job where your name is really a part of what you do and your work, ’s mon to have an stct not to change your name,” Rovzar said. It’s not jt wrers or actors who are attached to their nam; as social media be an creasgly important part of our liv, many are hant to change their long-standg profil or handl.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="9zf26n"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="qzt37"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Back the seventi, a woman’s choice to keep her main name had more to do wh polics than practily. Today, same-sex upl are rebellg agast nventn as well. “We already jumped to an stutn that barely acknowledged , so why abi by all their other l?” said <em>DIS</em> Magaze Web producer <strong>Nick Scholl</strong> about his cisn not to take his hband’s name. Lawyer <strong>Richard Mollot,</strong> who married his hband <strong>Chris Donnellan</strong> 2010, feels the same way. “To me, the whole pot of the marriage is to validate people’s relatnship and love for another,” Mollot said. “I don’t thk you need to replite everythg that has gone on history.”</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="xh3y2i"></div></div><p>Yet some upl that never nsired changg their nam when enterg marriage rensir the issue when ntemplatg the possibily of havg kids. “The real impet to changg my name was knowg we were gog to have children, and we wanted them to feel part of one fay and not have different nam,” explaed <strong>Ali Bird,</strong> director of The Wall Group, who adopted her wife’s surname back 2007. And while Rovzar is agast changg his name for reer reasons, the edor says that ’s a different story for his future children. “Havg been saddled wh an unpronounceable name, I wouldn’t want to put my kids through that,” he said. “My hband’s name is Barrett, so I thk we would probably go wh that.”</p><p>The mon cir among most upl was simply optg for the more pronounceable or pleasant-soundg name. Bird, for stance, much preferred her wife’s surname over her main name of Schwartz. “A last name like Bird, there is no qutn, [is] the better last name.”</p><p>But what if the answer isn’t always as clear-cut? Rather than flip a , <strong>Martha Wt</strong> and <strong>Tanya Kalivas</strong> chose to host a soccer match on the day of their rehearsal dner to terme whose name they would adopt. The two even dubbed the event "Game for the Name." “We both played llege soccer and are crazy petive,” explaed Wt. “We told iends and fay and everyone got on board and loved the ia.”</p><p>The match, which was <a href=">filmed for <em>The New York Tim</em> Vows sectn</a>, was an emotnal experience for both fai. “I have immigrant parents who are very proud of our herage,” Kalivas explaed. “While Martha’s fay is om Texas and also have a very strong herage. So there was a lot of passn on the field.”</p><p>As luck would have , a last-mute ll—which Wt still ntts—rulted a tie. Overtime wasn’t possible, as the two bris had to sh out to have their hair and makp done for that eveng’s ftivi, so the verdict was left uncid. A year later, the two still haven’t settled on a name for their future fay. While there have been talks of a rematch, Kalivas jt might nce beforehand. “I spect Wt will w the end,” Kalivas said. “Partially based on Martha’s ep, <em>ep</em> belief that her team really won.”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="6juygi"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow 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