I hve been battlg what I thk is hocd. I've showered wh guys played gay never got aroed. This hocd has been gog on for ...
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HOCD, WEIRD GAY DREAM.
But yterday I had a spike morng, didn't bother me that much, but then I went to sleep and I remember dreamg about datg my iend, I remember weird l like "We're girliend and boyiend so 's not gay" (Weird, I know) and I remember almost kissg him the dream, but end up jt kd of huggg and wrtlg a buddy way, this really sr me tbh. I go to bed knowg that i don't want to have gay sex, but bee of this nowadays there are many nights where I dream about gay sex and is strange but the dreams i feel like i am ejaculatg and whenever i wake up i feel like $#%^. Sometim i am even prsed for the whole day bee of the dreams, bee them felt like i was gay (i almost never had the dreams before HOCD h, i ed to dream about havg sex wh girls and i loved ).
HOCD; AM I GAY OR STRAIGHT?
I looked this up onle and this webse said you uld prove you weren't gay if you had never had a gay dream and this ed my anxiety to spike to levels unseen and i jt don't know what to do..... After the first time month i stopped easy for a week aga but bee of nng te some stggl life and stuff my HOCD was once aga really strong and i had a wet gay dream.
Recently i wanted to jerk off to a girliend i was wrg wh whatsapp bee she got kd of erotic there and sends before i was about to e i though about my roommate and gaysex wh him and i was g kd of hard.
But yterday night i was fantasizg once aga about gaysex - kd of checkg my self (y i know how bad that is) and i me wh touchg my self whout nothg not even gettg hard or somethg i jt me.
YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD
But as i got out of bad and start my normal routg all this jt rema like a bad dream or somethg i don't feel attracted to man i am jt disgt by my thoughts and i n see how the are not reflectg my personal wish or i where not aware about the whole HOCD thg i though i might be gay and i tried wh two different guys but both tim where jt where'd and i felt kd of nothg - well i got hard and me but i didn't wish to please them or kiss them was jt sexual relief and i never want to do aga.
So om that perspective i n tell that this gay fantasi jt work my phantasi but not realy and maybe is as you say, a way for the subuns to al wh this HOCD thg.