Wp</tle><path d="M11.055 8.728l-1.018-1.019-.782.782v6.292l1.782 1.564.018-.019v-7.6zm-4.11.236L5.674 7.71l-.836.855v6.237l1.545 1.327.564-.636V8.964zm2.656 9.074l-2.528-2.182-1.927 2.182-2.619-2.255v-3.564h-.509c-.454 0-.672.273-.745.636H1.09a2.89 2.89 0 0 1-.091-.69c0-.473.2-1.71 1.527-1.71V7.691c0-1.073-.709-1.127-.709-2.054 0-1.037.982-2 2.782-2.637l.164.145c-.6.291-1.09.655-1.09 1.437 0 1.2 1.163.89 1.163 2.782v.727l2.127-2.236 2.237 2.2 2.109-2.2 2.036 2v6.728l-3.745 3.455zm11.108-9.625l-1.073-.982-.964 1.018v6.6c.855.11 1.491.4 2.019.964l.018-.018V8.413zm-2.382.418l-.528.545v10.237l.528.492V8.83zm1.49 9.055c-.308-.382-.69-.709-1.145-.836v3.782l-.036.018-1-.927-2.11 1.945-.036-.018V16.96c-.636.145-1.327.545-1.854 1.2l-.146-.091c.127-1.4.818-2.436 2-2.837v-3.545h-.382c-.527 0-.89.363-.963.763h-.219c-.054-.145-.127-.381-.127-.836 0-.891.6-1.564 1.582-1.564h.11V8.085l-.655-.582-.51.51-.254-.237 2.018-2.073 1.71 1.564V9.05l.527-.564v-2.09h.345v1.727l2.273-2.419L23 7.576v7.91l-3.182 2.4z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg><span class="mr-xs ml-xs gray-darkt flex ems-center">Get the full experience.<span class="ml-xs subs-theme blue">Choose your plan</span></span><svg class="ntent-box" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 16 16" xmlns=" style="fill:#166dfc" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>ArrowRight</tle><path d="M7.664 1.25l6 6a1 1 0 010 1.414l-6 6L6.25 13.25 10.499 9H2V7h8.585L6.25 2.664 7.664 1.25z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></a><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><i>There have been centuri for guil to velop where a married woman might properly be addrsed as Mrs. John Jon. Overnight, we are beg asked to adapt to a new suatn — a same-sex married uple. Probably every such uple has a favored way of beg addrsed. But that simply is too nfg. Why not strike while the issue is hot? Develop a nventn for addrsg same-sex upl. Don’t jt pla. Offer a solutn. — Carolyn K. Buttolph, Falls Church</i></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">A: This qutn, the form of a letter to the edor, me rponse to my <a href=" tle=">recent lumn</a> on a gay uple who were angered when addrsed by a rtrant as Mr. and Mrs. Wh holiday vatns and rds soon to be sent, as well as many gay upl planng to tie the knot ( stat where same-sex marriage recently beme legal), now seems the perfect time for this primer. Sometim I wish I uld do a double snap of my fgers, et voilà, the world would fall to perfect orr — forks to the left, kniv to the right. Alas, when to namg nventns, whether for straight or gay people, there's no one-size-fs-all solutn. Still, I appreciate the appeal for help cidg what's right.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Qutns about same-sex upl buted on the etiquette scene at least three s ago, when Judh Mart (a.k.a. Miss Manners) answered this qutn: “What should I say when troduced to a homosexual uple?” Her don’t-miss-a beat retort: “How do you do? How do you do?”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">One of the reasons I love this answer is that Mart’s advice gets to the heart of the matter: Suatns change but the prcipl of etiquette do not. The l for addrsg same-sex upl are the same as for oppose-sex on, wh a few twists. Here’s my take on some of the optns:</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">• Different nam: “Mr. Steven Petrow and Mr. Jam Bean” (formal); “Steven Petrow and Jim Bean” (rmal).</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">For the rerd, my hband's last name is Bean, not Smh. Addrsg your rd to this way would be perfect, as is the facto standard for any married uple, gay or straight, wh different last nam. (Acrdg to a <a href=" tle=">2013 gay weddg survey</a> by the Knot and the Advote, more than 6 10 gay upl keep their own surnam.) Both variatns nvey our mment bee that ltle njunctn, "and," signifi that we are a uple.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">By the way, mted, habatg upl — regardls of sexual orientatn — should be addrsed exactly as if they were married the days. This go double for same-sex upl that live stat that still (for now) ban same-sex marriage. (Oh, and you n relax about who go first. When doubt, let the alphabet be your gui.)</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div id="gift-share-le" data-ttid="gift-share-le" class="PJLV PJLV-ilotWTr-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-goNocI-placement-Inle foc-highlight"><div data-ttid="gift-share-terstial-trigger" class="wpds-c-kPqOkS wpds-c-kPqOkS-jtSXsT-hasSubsText-false"><span class="wpds-c-hBJqc"><span class="wpds-c-dzSncg">Share this article</span></span><span class="wpds-c-eCvK"><span class="wpds-c-enedHQ wpds-c-enedHQ-cCdK-isShown-false">Share</span><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fDHGth"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></span></div></button></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">• Hyphenated: “Ms. Malyn Petrow-Cohen and Ms. Julie Petrow-Cohen” (formal); “Maddy and Julie Petrow-Cohen” (rmal).</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">My sister and her wife created a hyphenated name so that they and their two dghters would have one fay inty. Ined, the four of them are known as “The Petrow-Cohens.” Had they cid to be their nam to one new one — the leadg ntenr was “Petroen” — my holiday rd to them would read: “Ms. Malyn and Ms. Julie Petroen.” Anecdotally, I know many younger gay and lbian upl that are creatg a new name and inty together.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">A fsier variatn on the hyphenated optn is to reach out to the French and addrs the envelope to “The Mdam Malyn and Julie Petrow-Cohen” or, for two men, “The Msrs Jam Bean and Steven Petrow.” That beg said, I agree wh Miss Manners, who admted, “The are odd plurals.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">• Retro-tradnal: “Mr. and Mr. Matthew Harris” (formal); “Matt and Tony Harris” (rmal).</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">There are a number of gay upl where one groom has taken the surname of his new hband, droppg his fay name altogether, which is on the upswg among younger lbian and gay upl seekg to emulate tradnal norms. It's also the trend among heterosexual upl, wh a 2011 study om the Knot reportg that <a href=" tle="">86 percent of women</a> take their hband's name. One California uple I know is addrsed as "Mr. and Mr. Matthew Harris," which they explaed is not a reflectn of unbridled patriarchy or spoal submissn. Tony Harris was simply never very close to his fay or attached to their name, explaed Matt Harris to me. I n see that for the Matthew Harris, nothg says same-sex married like "Mr. and Mr."</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">(Still, unls you know for a fact that a uple prefers this form of addrs — by g on personal statnery or return addrs labels — I would advise you to go wh “Mr. Matthew Harris and Mr. Tony Harris” stead.)</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Of urse, the given-name-gone-missg suatn is certaly not unique to same-sex upl. I wouldn’t dare addrs my sister--law, Nancy Clarke, as “Mrs. Jay Petrow.” As she’s told me for nearly three s now: My name is Nancy Clarke. Believe me, their Christmas rd will be addrsed to “Ms. Nancy Clarke and Mr. Jay Petrow.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Here’s my fal piece of advice: Unls you know otherwise, assume same-sex upl are keepg their nam and addrs them as such. If you want to be sure, jt ask. Coupl, if you’re changg your name, let iends and fay know. For stance, when wrg a weddg announcement, clu a le that says somethg like: Bri A is takg Bri B’s name, or whatever moniker you’ve cid upon. Now, to the next prsg qutn: prted or digal holiday rds?</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">E-mail qutns to Civili at <a class="show" href=""></a> (unfortunately not all qutns n be answered). You n reach him on Facebook at <a class="show" href="></a> and on Twter <a href=">@stevenpetrow</a>. Jo him for a chat onle at <a class="show" href="></a> at 1 p.m. on Dec. 2.</p></div><div class="wpds-c-jkoBlc wpds-c-jkoBlc-leHWbT-removeAllStyl-te"><div class="wpds-c-dhzjXW wpds-c-dhzjXW-iPJLV-css overriStyl mt-md tt"><div id="gift-share-end" data-ttid="gift-share-end" class="PJLV PJLV-idiqKOk-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-iIVoLq-placement-Shortcut foc-highlight"><div class="wpds-c-UazGY" id="gift-share-shortcut" data-ttid="gift-share-shortcut"><svg xmlns=" fill="var(--wpds-lors-primary)" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fVfumU "><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg><div class="PJLV wpds-c-kwcHlj">Share</div></div></button></div><div class="wpds-c-hcekgi"><div class="mb-lg-mod" data-qa="ments-btn-div"><button aria-label="Scroll to the ments sectn" data-qa="ments-btn" class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-kSOqLF-SQjOY-variant-sendary wpds-c-kSOqLF-eHdizY-nsy-flt wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-igqYgPb-css ments hi-for-prt"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 16 16" fill="currentColor" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp "><path d="M14 14V2H2v9.47h8.18L12.43 13ZM3 10.52V3h10v9.23l-2.5-1.66Z"></path></svg><span></span> Comments</button></div></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css"><div></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css"><div></div></div><sectn class="PJLV PJLV-icEohIP-css dn-ns hi-for-prt" data-ttid="mostRead" subscriptns-sectn="ntent"><div data-ttid="lazy-most-read-parent" class=""><div style="m-height:800px"></div></div></sectn><div class="PJLV PJLV-ickXkbz-css"><div data-qa="newsletter" class="hi-for-prt relative"><div class="dib w-100"><div><div class="flex jtify-center align self-center center transn-all duratn-400 ease--out" data-qa="sc-newsletter-signup" aria-label=""><svg aria-labelledby="react-aria-1-aria" role="img" viewBox="0 0 100 80"><tle id="react-aria-1-aria">Loadg...

married gay last names

Letter wrer wonrs how to properly addrs a married gay uple wh the same last name.

Contents:

HOW TO ADDRS A MARRIED GAY COUPLE WH THE SAME LAST NAME

Parents of a gay son who will be marryg his boyiend are thrilled by the marriage, but ls so that their son is droppg their last name. * married gay last names *

Feel ee to apply the l when you’re referrg to a married gay uple on thgs like weddg vatns, holiday rds, and letters.

Q&A: INVATNS: ADDRSG ONE TO A GAY OR LBIAN COUPLE?

Addrs each member of a male married gay uple as “Mr. All the l for addrsg a married gay uple wh the same last name apply whether they have chosen to e 1 last name or to e a hyphenated versn of both their last nam. There are general l you n follow, but not every gay uple has the same preference, so they might appreciate if you ask.

Addrs each member of a female married gay uple as “Mrs.

This uld apply anytime you're vg a married gay person you know to some kd of formal event and you're vg they're partner as a "pl 1. There are no l set stone about whose name you have to put first when you’re addrsg a gay uple. For example, one member of a gay married uple might intify as more feme and would th prefer to be lled Mrs.

WHAT DO IT MEAN WHEN A GAY SON TAK HIS HBAND’S SURNAME?

But when genr norms go out the wdow, the cisn n take on a whole new level of plexy and year’s landmark Supreme Court lg, which legalized gay marriage around the untry, means same-sex upl will be facg the name-change qutn more than ever before.

Q:How do you addrs an vatn to a gay or lbian uple? · “I thk the son is celebratg the fact that he has this optn, which was not available to gay people before now. ”· “For gay upl, choosg one name or the other n have ls to do wh the ‘dynamics’ of the relatnship than who has a ‘better name, but outsirs’ worryg/wonrg about this says a lot about existg sex-role stereotyp.

I emailed Andrew Solomon, the thor of the acclaimed “Far From the Tree, ” and hband of John Habich Solomon, for his take on John’s name change:“We felt that the same way that ’s radil for heterosexual women to refe to change their nam, ditg that they haven’t been subsumed to a new inty wh marriage, so is equally radil for gay people to change their nam; associat firmly wh the ia of fay, of permanence, of beg part of a many-generatns tradn of timacy. Nicely what of gay male upl wh a shared name?

MISS MANNERS: ADDRSG A MARRIED GAY UPLE WH THE SAME LAST NAME

Buttolph, Falls ChurchA: This qutn, the form of a letter to the edor, me rponse to my recent lumn on a gay uple who were angered when addrsed by a rtrant as Mr. Wh holiday vatns and rds soon to be sent, as well as many gay upl planng to tie the knot ( stat where same-sex marriage recently beme legal), now seems the perfect time for this primer.

THE GAY MARRIAGE VICTORY IS A REMR OF THE IMPORTANCE OF NAM

Alas, when to namg nventns, whether for straight or gay people, there's no one-size-fs-all solutn.

Miss Manners) answered this qutn: “What should I say when troduced to a homosexual uple? Addrsg your rd to this way would be perfect, as is the facto standard for any married uple, gay or straight, wh different last nam. (Acrdg to a 2013 gay weddg survey by the Knot and the Advote, more than 6 10 gay upl keep their own surnam.

” Anecdotally, I know many younger gay and lbian upl that are creatg a new name and inty together. Matthew Harris” (formal); “Matt and Tony Harris” (rmal) are a number of gay upl where one groom has taken the surname of his new hband, droppg his fay name altogether, which is on the upswg among younger lbian and gay upl seekg to emulate tradnal norms. What's not easy: handlg the rponse om some iends, mostly sgle, gay men.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* MARRIED GAY LAST NAMES

Why the Gay Marriage Victory Is a Remr of the Importance of Nam | Time.

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