Parents of a gay son who will be marryg his boyiend are thrilled by the marriage, but ls so that their son is droppg their last name.
Contents:
- HOW TO ADDRS A MARRIED GAY COUPLE WH THE SAME LAST NAME
- Q&A: INVATNS: ADDRSG ONE TO A GAY OR LBIAN COUPLE?
- WHAT DO IT MEAN WHEN A GAY SON TAK HIS HBAND’S SURNAME?
- MISS MANNERS: ADDRSG A MARRIED GAY UPLE WH THE SAME LAST NAME
- THE GAY MARRIAGE VICTORY IS A REMR OF THE IMPORTANCE OF NAM
HOW TO ADDRS A MARRIED GAY COUPLE WH THE SAME LAST NAME
* married gay last names *
Feel ee to apply the l when you’re referrg to a married gay uple on thgs like weddg vatns, holiday rds, and letters. Addrs each member of a male married gay uple as “Mr. All the l for addrsg a married gay uple wh the same last name apply whether they have chosen to e 1 last name or to e a hyphenated versn of both their last nam.
There are general l you n follow, but not every gay uple has the same preference, so they might appreciate if you ask. Addrs each member of a female married gay uple as “Mrs. This uld apply anytime you're vg a married gay person you know to some kd of formal event and you're vg they're partner as a "pl 1.
There are no l set stone about whose name you have to put first when you’re addrsg a gay uple. For example, one member of a gay married uple might intify as more feme and would th prefer to be lled Mrs. But when genr norms go out the wdow, the cisn n take on a whole new level of plexy and year’s landmark Supreme Court lg, which legalized gay marriage around the untry, means same-sex upl will be facg the name-change qutn more than ever before.
Q&A: INVATNS: ADDRSG ONE TO A GAY OR LBIAN COUPLE?
Q:How do you addrs an vatn to a gay or lbian uple?
· “I thk the son is celebratg the fact that he has this optn, which was not available to gay people before now.
WHAT DO IT MEAN WHEN A GAY SON TAK HIS HBAND’S SURNAME?
”· “For gay upl, choosg one name or the other n have ls to do wh the ‘dynamics’ of the relatnship than who has a ‘better name, but outsirs’ worryg/wonrg about this says a lot about existg sex-role stereotyp.
I emailed Andrew Solomon, the thor of the acclaimed “Far From the Tree, ” and hband of John Habich Solomon, for his take on John’s name change:“We felt that the same way that ’s radil for heterosexual women to refe to change their nam, ditg that they haven’t been subsumed to a new inty wh marriage, so is equally radil for gay people to change their nam; associat firmly wh the ia of fay, of permanence, of beg part of a many-generatns tradn of timacy.
Nicely what of gay male upl wh a shared name? Buttolph, Falls ChurchA: This qutn, the form of a letter to the edor, me rponse to my recent lumn on a gay uple who were angered when addrsed by a rtrant as Mr. Wh holiday vatns and rds soon to be sent, as well as many gay upl planng to tie the knot ( stat where same-sex marriage recently beme legal), now seems the perfect time for this primer.
MISS MANNERS: ADDRSG A MARRIED GAY UPLE WH THE SAME LAST NAME
Alas, when to namg nventns, whether for straight or gay people, there's no one-size-fs-all solutn. Miss Manners) answered this qutn: “What should I say when troduced to a homosexual uple?
Addrsg your rd to this way would be perfect, as is the facto standard for any married uple, gay or straight, wh different last nam. (Acrdg to a 2013 gay weddg survey by the Knot and the Advote, more than 6 10 gay upl keep their own surnam.
” Anecdotally, I know many younger gay and lbian upl that are creatg a new name and inty together. Matthew Harris” (formal); “Matt and Tony Harris” (rmal) are a number of gay upl where one groom has taken the surname of his new hband, droppg his fay name altogether, which is on the upswg among younger lbian and gay upl seekg to emulate tradnal norms.
THE GAY MARRIAGE VICTORY IS A REMR OF THE IMPORTANCE OF NAM
What's not easy: handlg the rponse om some iends, mostly sgle, gay men. ” Now that gay upl n marry legally, they also n do what they want wh their last nam whout jumpg through other legal hoops.
“Society se (gay upl) through the lens of genr norms. ” For married gay upl, “there's not a prewrten script, ” adds Stephanie Coontz, director of rearch at the Universy of Miami's Council on Contemporary Fai and the thor of several books on marriage.
“Gays and lbians are reventg marriage as a relatnship that do not have hundreds of years of expectatns about rol, ” she says.