Meredh Baxter From "Fay Ti": I'm Gay | HuffPost Entertament

Contents:

• MEREDH BAXTER FROM "FAY TI": I'M GAY
• CHRISTIAN, GAY, FAY TI TO HAMAS: I'LL BE KILLED IF I'M PORTED
• ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
• GAY SHOWBIZZERS ADOPT FAY TI
• AMBIVALENCE GAY AND LBIAN FAY RELATNSHIPS
• CATHOLIC FAY TI: STAG AND SUPPORTG HIV-POSIVE CANADIAN GAY MEN’S FAH, MENTAL HEALTH, AND WELLBEG

MEREDH BAXTER FROM "FAY TI": I'M GAY

Keywords: ambivalence, gay and lbian fai, tergeneratnal relatnships, mid- to late life, qualative rearchOver the past , tergeneratnal ambivalence has emerged as a central ncept for unrstandg relatnships between adult children and their parents (Lüscher & Pillemer, 1998). For example, broar stutnal forc of homophobia and heterosexism that stcture the fay relatnships of gay and lbian adults may engenr an exceptnal view of soclogil ambivalence (Connidis, 2012), one that turn provis a lens to the , dynamics, and nsequenc of fay teractn. As such, a study of ambivalence gay and lbian fai rms a theoretil and empiril acunt of broar fay advance an unrstandg of ambivalence, gay and lbian fai, and fay systems more broadly (Bowen, 1978), the prent study I analyzed qualative terviews wh 60 gays and lbians to terme the nature of ambivalence fay-of-orig (e.

This study provis a new lens through which to view how adult gays and lbians—a margalized group—experience fay ti, turn revealg new dimensns of fay relatnships prevly undisvered by heteronormative fay rearch. To date, Connidis (2003), who a se study approach, and Reczek (2014a) and Cohler (2004), who e -pth terviews, have provid some ial evince that analytilly suggt that parents feel ambivalent toward a gay or lbian child, particularly durg the g-out procs. Failure to achieve heterosexualy has been shown to promote parental feelgs of disapproval, distancg, disappotment, disgt, and guilt over a perceived role raisg a gay or lbian child (Biblarz & Savci, 2010; Cohler, 2004; LaSala, 2000, 2001; Obock, 2013; Oswald, 2002a, 2002b).

CHRISTIAN, GAY, FAY TI TO HAMAS: I'LL BE KILLED IF I'M PORTED

Homophobia and rejectn of a gay or lbian adult is often, but not always, tied to unrlyg stctural notns of relig moral valu (Jon, Cox, & Navarro-Rivera, 2013); fai wh relig members may experience a stctural ntext that is typified by heightened homophobia.

The ntradictns may be created by broar stcturally ambivalent expectatns where parents reject their adult children for failure to adhere to expectatns of heterosexualy a homophobic society while also exprsg love and support for their adult child (Cohler, 2004; Connidis, 2012).

This is nsistent wh some rearch that suggts lbian women have shorter relatnship duratns than gay men wh the ntext of mid-life adults (L, 2012) purpose of the terviews was to obta narrativ that foced on general fay dynamics; topics clud relatnship qualy and satisfactn between timate partners, g-out experienc, relatnships wh fay of orig, mental and physil health, unemployment, children, sexual behavr, and relatnship nflict.

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

Perceived relig and/or homophobic disapproval Rponnts scribed that, spe outwardly posive teractns, they perceive that fay members secretly have unrlyg negative feelgs, a dynamic I characterized as vert ambivalence.

” Although Spencer and Elltt’s parents do not outwardly reject eher partner, both partners said they believed that both sets of parents vertly experience irrencilably nflicted feelgs of disapproval due to a broar social ntext of homophobia.

GAY SHOWBIZZERS ADOPT FAY TI

Stanley, like others this theme, said he assum that one of his sisters and brothers--law ternally “stggle” wh him beg gay—evince of the negative feelgs or disfort wh Stanley and David’s relatnship—yet he experienc only posive outward teractns wh the fay members. ” Courtney suggted that although Ja’s mother appears supportive she is not wholly fortable wh their relatnships bee of her relig sentiments about homosexualy and her participatn the Catholic Church—a dynamic characterized as vert ambivalence. Rponnts like Edw regnize social-stctural factors that reveal the ntradictory prence of his mother--law’s love alongsi her homophobic relig beliefs and affiliatns—characteristics of vert “glass closet” Fewer than one quarter of rponnts this study had not openly discsed their gay or lbian inty or partnership wh at least one fay member.

The glass closet occurs when rponnts scribe the belief that fay members hold strong negative feelgs about rponnts’ sexual inty, most often due to perceived homophobic and relig valu, but also are outwardly acceptg of the timate, partnered to Diana for 10 years, scribed an event that ma her regnize that she is accepted and supported by her partner’s fay but that she is the glass closet bee there is a simultaneo rejectn:. As this theme monstrat, the glass closet provis a highlighted ndn of soclogil ambivalence, where the visible and supported gay or lbian inty is obscured and ignored bee of the assumptn that such disclosure would prompt a negative reactn.

AMBIVALENCE GAY AND LBIAN FAY RELATNSHIPS

Beyond revealg an unrexamed dimensn of gay and lbian fay relatnships, this study mak three addnal ntributns to the field of fay studi—and ambivalence theory particular—which are scribed, as a parture om the origal nceptualizatn of ambivalence, which emphasiz one’s own ambivalence toward others (Lüscher & Pillemer 1998), the prent fdgs break new ground by monstratg the ways which dividuals nstct others as exhibg ntradictory behavr, feelgs, and actns—what is nceptualized as perceived ambivalence. In the se of gay and lbian adults, perceived ambivalence occurs when the stctural norms of homophobia, heterosexism, relig beliefs, and an absence of acceptance of ferally legalized same-sex marriage tersect wh norms of close fay relatnships (Bulanda, 2011; Pfeffer, 2012; Taylor, Kimport, Van Dyke, & Anrson, 2009). As a rult, rponnts perceived their fay members as havg ntradictory emotns, beliefs, expectatns, and actns—most notably the normative aspects of support and love upled wh rejectn of a “spoiled” gay or lbian inty (Meyer, 2003).

CATHOLIC FAY TI: STAG AND SUPPORTG HIV-POSIVE CANADIAN GAY MEN’S FAH, MENTAL HEALTH, AND WELLBEG

Adult gays and lbians regnize this irrencilable soclogil ntradictn as maniftg their fay relatnships, providg a ncrete illtratn of how stctural forc are part and parcel of the psychologil experienc of that the glass closet, a term that Sedgwick (1990) ed to refer to the “open secret” of a person’s sexual inty, provis one highlighted se of the tersectn of psychologil and soclogil ambivalence. It may be that this is pecially apparent a hort of olr adults, and was more mon among dividuals wh olr parents this sample, and creasg acceptance for gay rights may turn shift the social-stctural ntexts that engenr this perceived ambivalence (Powell, Blozendahl, Geist, & Steelman, 2010). Future rearch should addrs the pots as potential s of soclogil ambivalence the gay and lbian and fally, the fdgs nfirm prev rearch that suggts ambivalence is most prevalent parent–child/parent–child--law dyad relatnships (Willson et al., 2003).

Extend k may not be emotnally or proximally close enough to register levels of ambivalence (Fgerman et al., 2004), perhaps pecially for gays and lbians, who are more likely to live farther away om extend k (Rosenfeld, 2007).

Moreover, the study sample clud only dividuals who self-intified as gay or lbian mted relatnships; future rearch should clu rearch on bisexual, queer, and transgenr dividuals as well as dividuals who are not mted partnerships, orr to pture a wir range of ambivalent experienc. The fdgs give new sight to how gay and lbian adults negotiate their fay relatnships and further prent a new le of quiry fay rearch regardg the exploratn, measurement, and theorizg of ambivalence wh and beyond the tergeneratnal tie.