Orthodox, celibate, gay and that's OK | David Benkof | The Blogs

Contents:

• THE RABBI’S DGHTER: GAY, ORTHODOX AND ONE OF ISRAEL’S MOST CELEBRATED FILMMAKERS
• SERGI AND BACCH: THE GAY SOLDIERS WHO WERE MA SATS BY THE CHURCH
• ACTIVISTS NMN VLENCE AGAST LGBTQ MUNY ST. VCENT, WHERE GAY SEX IS ILLEGAL
• RSIAN CHURCH LEAR APPEARS TO BLAME GAY PRI PARAS FOR UKRAE WAR
• FIRST OPENLY GAY ORTHODOX RABBI TO PRENT ANNUAL WALL LECTURE ON MARCH 22
• ORTHODOX, CELIBATE, GAY AND THAT’S OK
• THE GAY ORTHODOX UNRGROUND
• GAY AND ORTHODOX – AN OXYMORON NO MORE
• GAY ORTHODOX JEWS TURN TO HER FOR HELP. SOMETIM SHE PRCRIB CHEMIL CASTRATN
• GAY AND ORTHODOX: AND CLEAVG STRONGLY TO BOTH
• A GAY, ORTHODOX JEWISH R&B SGER
• FROM 2001 | THE GAY ORTHODOX UNRGROUND
• HIS SYNAGOGUE BARRED HIM BEE HE’S GAY. NOW, HE PROTTS OUTSI EACH SHABBAT.
• A YOUNG GAY ORTHODOX MAN DIED BY SUICI. WE MT NONT HOW JEWISH TEACHGS HARMED HIM
• MY SECRET LIFE AS A GAY ULTRA-ORTHODOX JEW
• ORTHODOX CHRISTIANS WHO STRONGLY FAVOR OR FAVOR GAY MARRIAGE
• OPENLY GAY ORTHODOX JEWS GET THEIR SAY, SUPPORT
• GAY AND ORTHODOX: AN OXYMORON NO MORE
• MY YEAR AS A PRO-GAY 'ORTHODOX' HERETIC
• ORTHODOX, GAY, AND THE RT IS PRIVATE
• YHIVA UNIVERSY IS LEFT MOURNG AFTER A BELOVED GAY ALUM DI BY SUICI
• GAY ORTHODOX RABBI OFFERS MSAGE OF CLN

THE RABBI’S DGHTER: GAY, ORTHODOX AND ONE OF ISRAEL’S MOST CELEBRATED FILMMAKERS

Given the tradnal Orthodox unrstandg of the Old and New Ttament scriptur as exprsed the Church’s lurgil worship, sacramental r, nonil regulatns and liv and teachgs of the sats, is clear that the Orthodox Church intifi solidly wh those Christians, homosexual and heterosexual, who nsir homosexual orientatn as a disorr and disease, and who therefore nsir homosexual actns as sful and stctive. When homosexual Christians are willg to stggle, and when they receive patient, passnate and thentilly lovg assistance om their fai and iends – each of whom is stgglg wh his or her own temptatns and ss; for no one is whout this stggle one form or another, and no one is whout s but God – the Lord guarante victory ways known to Himself.

Siarly, while some mental health profsnals and rabbis the muny strongly believe the efficy of “change therapi”, most of the mental health muny, many rabbis, and most people wh a homosexual orientatn feel that some of the therapi are eher effective or potentially damagg psychologilly for many patients. But muni should display sensivy, acceptance and full embrace of the adopted or blogil children of homosexually active Jews the synagogue and school settg, and we enurage parents and fay of homosexually partnered Jews to make every effort to mata harmon fay relatns and nnectns. Early his reer, he served as a senr tor for the Natnal Jewish Center for Learng and Learship (CLAL), a thk tank and trag stute where he worked as an tor, curriculum wrer, lecturer and nsultant on wi variety of cuttg-edge projects on the ethics, environment, social jtice and munal is the first openly gay Orthodox rabbi and a founr of the Jesalem Open Hoe, the Holy Cy’s LGBT muny center.

In 2001, Greenberg appeared the documentary, Tremblg Before G-d, and joed wh the filmmaker to create a worldwi outreach project nductg more than 500 post-screeng muny dialogu all over the 2004 he fished a long project, a book entled, Wrtlg wh God and Men: Homosexualy the Jewish Tradn, which explor biblil, rabbic, medieval and ntemporary Jewish rpons to same-sex relatnships. In the 1990s, a wispread gay Jewish attu toward Levic 18:22 (ually translated as “you shall not lie down wh a male, as wh a woman: this is an abomatn”) was so pathetic seems funny today: liberal Rabbi Arthur Waskow terpreted the verse to mean, sentially: “Don’t have sex wh a man as wh a woman.

SERGI AND BACCH: THE GAY SOLDIERS WHO WERE MA SATS BY THE CHURCH

Rabbi Chaim Rapoport (thor of the only good book I’ve read about this subject – Judaism and Homosexualy: An Authentic Orthodox View) poted out to me the irony that both Orthodox Jews who mand reparative therapy and totally permissive Reform Jews fd profound theologil challeng the ia that God allows gays no possible romantic life. By ntrast, Rabbi Greenberg says he tells young gay men lookg for halachic advice that “if you fd a mted monogamo partner and avoid anal terurse, you are better off halachilly speakg than all the Orthodox Jews you know who do not keep the niddah (menstal pury) laws. ”After visg two different therapists, one of whom Penner says ma him “feel like a failure, ” he went to Israel to jo an affiliate of JONAH, a Jewish anizatn that offered “nversn therapy” and has sce been shut realizg he wasn’t “any ls of a man for beg gay, ” and retrospect unrstandg the harms of nversn therapy, Penner returned to the Uned Stat and told his Morn Orthodox parents he would live as a Jewish gay man.

ACTIVISTS NMN VLENCE AGAST LGBTQ MUNY ST. VCENT, WHERE GAY SEX IS ILLEGAL

“We had to build a muny not based on feelg sorry for ourselv, but on buildg a hopeful future for ourselv, ” Levovz might be the ma difference between past generatns of gay Orthodox people livg double liv, and today’s youth refg that kd of existence and creatg their own 19, Th is now active his muny and former high school, Shalhevet, which adopted a seri of statements protectg LGBT stunts and lettg them know that someone is there for, who is also a sger-songwrer and teach mic, scrib the rare experience of beg part of both the LGBT and Orthodox muni. “There are many synagogu around Long Island and even Wt Hempstead that have members who are gay and wele them and where members who are gay feel fortable, ” said Rabbi Mark to others also knowledgeable about Orthodox Judaism, Kehilat Ahavat Yisrael is extraordary.

I’m an Amerin Orthodox livg a tradnally Orthodox untry for a number of years now, and recently the Orthodox ter world there have been a lot of ments about Orthodoxy and homophobia and homosexualy, particular spurred by the recent nference England which several well-known Orthodox figur took part. It’s pretty awful, how much open hatred towards gays and cg vlence towards them is perfectly acceptable, and all this to an extent that I thk most Amerins 2019 have trouble picturg as a realy, and th they dismiss such acunts as beg basilly propaganda or isolated cints beg promoted by people who want to change Church teachg.

RSIAN CHURCH LEAR APPEARS TO BLAME GAY PRI PARAS FOR UKRAE WAR

I, however, don’t aim to change the church’s teachgs on homosexualy, and as an Amerin Orthodox livg an Orthodox untry and actually workg for a Church anizatn, perhaps what I have to say will be listened to, bee the story needs to be heard, regardls of who is tellg . First of all, ’s important to realize that the “morate” views mon Orthodox parish Ameri and the Wt about homosexualy — that homosexual behavr is a s but that such people should be embraced the Church and helped to live liv of celibacy, and also simply that is an issue that n be talked about at all whout people breakg out to hysteria — is almost unheard of Orthodox untri.

It’s also important to remember that not only is Orthodoxy a small mory relign Ameri, but also Amerin Orthodox are a small mory wh world Orthodoxy, and the life of the Church Ameri n differ signifintly om what MOST Orthodox around the world experience, cludg on this issue of homosexualy/homophobia.

Th, a typil Orthodox untry, what you are basilly lookg at is a large number of people who e the word “fags” to talk about gays and openly talk about how they should be killed, wh a pretty small number of people who take the other extreme and jt say homosexualy is totally acceptable morally. I say that bee I watched Nik Jovčić-Sas’s talk on youtube, and while y, he do have an agenda to normalize homosexualy, at the same time, his talk he really did jt try to make people aware of the very real vlence agast gays Orthodox societi, and the Church’s lack of rponse to that.

FIRST OPENLY GAY ORTHODOX RABBI TO PRENT ANNUAL WALL LECTURE ON MARCH 22

I have heard bishops here actually say public that gays are mtg a s worse than murr, blame the llapse of the enomy and the natn after the fall of munism the 1990s and all of the troubl that ensued (a very paful issue for everyone) on the supposed prence of gays the untry and that the llapse was God’s punishment for allowg “those people” our untry, and ll for all gays to eher be extermated or driven out of the untry. And yet, everyone feels the need to talk about how gays are awful, the worst sners ever, why beg gay is worse than killg someone, worse than beg a pedophile (or nflatg pedophilia and homosexualy), how even mons are disgted wh homosexualy, how God do not hear the prayers of gays, how mtg homosexual acts mak God pable of “lookg upon a natn, ” etc.

I asked my (lol) iend about , and he very quietly said, “Oh, some people get nfed and thk we should kill the gays bee the Church is agast , ” and then he went on to add, “But we should stop talkg about this now, or someone uld get nfed and thk we are one of them and hurt .

ORTHODOX, CELIBATE, GAY AND THAT’S OK

In any se, I should also note that this abbot is now actually a bishop, that the bishop of that dce at the time then quickly ed me to lose my job and also lose my rince perm for the untry for several months ( addn to the homophobia, most Orthodox untri are also que rpt). What you speak of as beg the Church’s teachg, of the fact that homosexual acts are sful, but that we should not hate gay people…I agree wh you that is Church teachg the sense that that is what one would fd the Fathers and te Orthodox Christian believers…but isn’t so te a functnal sense. It’s pretty much always eher: overt homophobia and hatred (most mon if the topic actually is raised), plete and utter silence (most mon om Church figur), or jt an open acceptance of homosexual behavr (least mon, and I’ve never heard openly stated by any church figure here).

THE GAY ORTHODOX UNRGROUND

I thk the clost I have e to to enunterg a passnate upholdg of tradnal Orthodox moral teachg here are prits who will hear about a homosexual’s stggle nfsn, affirm that is wrong but that is a stggle they mt engage , and then sort of jt…“Ok I heard that, I told you what to do, I accept you, but let’s never speak of this aga ever. Why is that neher ant anti-gays, such as those Orthodox untri spoken of by the anonymo rear, and ant pro-gays, such as those who ntrol all the cultural and rporate high ground the Wt — why is that both sis image that they nnot exist whout monizg the other, and drivg them out of society? While the Conservative movement do not ndone same-sex marriag or orda gay men or women as rabbis, "Congregatns are enuraged to wele and reach out to gay members, " acrdg to Marianna Matt Newirth, assistant director of media relatns at the Jewish Theologil Semary.

GAY AND ORTHODOX – AN OXYMORON NO MORE

In the past four years, for example, JQY has gone om an anizatn wh no office and a $10, 000 operatg budget to havg a $400, 000 budget, two full-time staff, an office, and two youth drop- a groundbreakg move last year, UK Chief Rabbi Ephraim Marvis released the first-ever gui for the Wellbeg of LGBTQ+ Pupils Orthodox schools, clarg a zero tolerance policy for bullyg or homophobic language and offerg guil to tors on offerg support and affirmirng LGBTQ+ Orthodox Jewish youth, seems, have ma clear that they aren’t gog anywhere. As social attus toward lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr and queer (LGBTQ) people have unrgone a sea change globally, stanc taken by Jewish lears and movements have changed along wh, same-sex marriag are regnized by the Reform, Conservative, Renewal and Renstctnist movements, and each movement’s rabbil semary ordas LGBTQ stunts.

All the chang were preced by the Renstctnist movement, which began beme the first movement to accept gays and lbians as rabbil stunts 1984 and whose rabbis have long been ee to officiate at same-sex while the liberal Jewish muny has shifted markedly on this issue, homosexualy remas a vexg issue Orthodoxy, which ntu to hold fast to the Torah’s seemgly flexible rejectn of homosexual acts. ” Many thori nsir this prohibn to be one of Judaism’s rdal ss and believe mt not be transgrsed even at the threat of one’s Readg the Prohibn Agast Homosexualy ContextEven the most tradnally-md terpreters of the verse acknowledge that the Torah do not prohib homosexualy as such, but merely one specific sexual act — generally unrstood to be anal sex between two men.

GAY ORTHODOX JEWS TURN TO HER FOR HELP. SOMETIM SHE PRCRIB CHEMIL CASTRATN

The biblil vers are also generally not unrstood as rejectg homosexuals as dividuals, but merely homosexual differ sharply along nomatnal The Reform movement was the first of the major nomatns to take a liberal posn toward homosexualy, adoptg the first of many rolutns on behalf of gays and lbians 1977. Conservative: In 2006, the Conservative movement nclud a polarizg bate over homosexualy wh the endorsement of two ntradictory opns — one upholdg the movement’s prev rejectn of gay relatnships, and another retag the Torah prohibn on male anal sex but allowg for other forms of sexual timacy between members of the same sex.

The Reform movement now nsirs same-sex marriage to qualify as kiddh — the rabbic term for betrothal, a holy unn between two 2012, the same three Conservative rabbis who thored the more liberal opn on homosexualy noted above published a seri of ruals and documents pertag to same-sex marriage ceremoni and divorce.

Though the largt Orthodox rabbil group, the Rabbil Council of Ameri, had at one time mend JONAH’s work, publicly whdrew s endorsement 2012, cg evince that the therapy was effective and had potentially negative the Orthodox muny still support nversn therapy, however, part bee they believe is impossible that homosexual sir uld be both unchangeable and proscribed by the Torah.

GAY AND ORTHODOX: AND CLEAVG STRONGLY TO BOTH

The foundg prcipl of Kamoha clu "creasg the awarens among the natnal-relig sector of the plex suatn of the relig homosexual, enuragg the tegratn of relig homosexuals to the existent muni, takg part events pertag to the world of Orthodox homosexuals, except for such that are provotns agast the Orthodox Jewish liftyle... Then a few months later, Augt, my Prit asked me if I wanted to go through wh my chrismatn at the end of the month, ially, I had said y, however, two weeks before my chrismatn was set to happen I started experiencg some doubts due to my sexual orientatn, more specifilly the fear that I uldn't hold up to the Church expectatn on me beg a celibate gay man.

A GAY, ORTHODOX JEWISH R&B SGER

The other thg that bothers me is that there is a good number of people the Church onle and real life who say pretty nasty thgs about gay people sayg God will kill them or that homosexuals are impure when realy there are more gay people the world than most people thk or realize.

While the Conservative movement do not ndone same-sex marriag or orda gay men or women as rabbis, “Congregatns are enuraged to wele and reach out to gay members, ” acrdg to Marianna Matt Newirth, assistant director of media relatns at the Jewish Theologil Semary. Image source, RtersImage ptn, Protters broke through a police rdon to stop the Pri eventUp to 2, 000 anti-LGBT protters stormed a gay pri ftival Geia's pal Tbilisi on Saturday, forcg s right-wg protters, who clud Orthodox Christian clergy, scuffled wh police, shed the stage and burned rabow anisers and Geia's print blamed anti-LGBT hate speech that preced the event, and said the police had failed to protect ftival-goers.

The liberal Jewish movements have unrgone dramatic shifts their approach to gay, lbian and transgenr Jews the past two s, but among the Orthodox the chang have been far ls dramatic — and many quarters, virtually seemgly clear biblil nunciatns of homosexual sex, as well as the rp of rabbic mentari and legal s based on those vers, lim how far Orthodox Judaism, marked by s fily to tradnal unrstandgs of Jewish law, or halacha, n move on this several efforts have emerged recent years to lend more support to Orthodox Jews experiencg homosexual sir and make the muny more passnate and welg toward them, all the efforts stop short of sanctng gay relatnships. The two pol of this bate are fairly well leated by two petg statements on the first, entled “Statement of Prcipl on the Place of Jews wh a Homosexual Orientatn Our Communy, ” was drafted by a faculty member at the liberal Orthodox rabbil school Yhivat Chovevei Torah and released 2010.

FROM 2001 | THE GAY ORTHODOX UNRGROUND

While acknowledgg the halachic (Jewish legal) ban on homosexual sex and rejectg any acceptance of same-sex marriage, the statement neverthels asserted that gays should be weled as full and equal members of Orthodox muni and should, most s, not be enuraged to marry someone of the oppose genr.

The Statement of Prcipl cled to weigh on the qutn of whether homosexual orientatn is geic and unchangeable, or if is a choice, as some people 2016, the Israeli Morn Orthodox rabbil group Be Hillel issued a siar statement, urgg that gays be allowed to serve “any munal pacy.

HIS SYNAGOGUE BARRED HIM BEE HE’S GAY. NOW, HE PROTTS OUTSI EACH SHABBAT.

It is regard as effective and potentially harmful by the Amerin Medil Associatn, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn and many the Orthodox muny, who for theologil reasons fd impossible to accept that a homosexual orientatn is unchangeable, ntue to advote for such therapi. The RCA had prevly endorsed JONAH’s work, but whdrawg s endorsement the uncil ced evince that the therapy was effective and had potentially negative 2010 Statement of Prcipl assertg that gays should be weled affirmed “the relig right of those wh a homosexual orientatn to reject theraptic approach they reasonably see as els or dangero. Jewish Queer Youth, or JQY, was found 2001 and acts as a support group and advocy group for LGBTQ Jews, wh a particular emphasis on Orthodox Orthodox Parents Uned by Love of Torah…And Our LGBT ChildrenIn 2015, JQY helped anize a nference that brought together Orthodox rabbis and mental health profsnals to talk about homosexualy what is believed to have been the first public discsn of s Tremblg Before G-d EffectThe progrs of gays and lbians gag acceptance wh Orthodoxy, limed though may be, is often creded to the 2001 documentary Tremblg Before G-d, which thst the stggl of Orthodox gays and lbians to the public nscns as never before.

The film’s sympathetic portrayal of dividuals tryg to rencile their sexualy wh their relig mments earned high praise, but some the Orthodox muny saw as a shallow attempt to legimize viant sexual film promently featured Steven Greenberg, wily known as the first openly gay Orthodox rabbi.

“On the other hand, we certaly have great passn and tert the challeng and stggl that persons wh homosexual sir and orientatn experience, ” he cln of openly gay men at the nference reprents yet another shift, however cremental, the willgns of the Orthodox muny to ndidly discs homosexualy. In the summer of 2010, a group of more than 150 Orthodox rabbis and mental health profsnals endorsed a statement that lled for greater sympathy om rabbis and unselors, urged fai not to st out homosexual children and st doubt on reparative therapy, which most mental health profsnals nsir a sham.

A YOUNG GAY ORTHODOX MAN DIED BY SUICI. WE MT NONT HOW JEWISH TEACHGS HARMED HIM

”On Saturday eveng, Rabbi Dovid Cohen, one of three rabbic advisers to Nefh, spoke on makg a distctn between s and anized s -- ments terpreted by many nference-goers as targetg homosexualy general and JQY an terview wh JTA, Cohen said that anyone who aniz to reject a provisn of the Torah should be regard as a traor.

To do so would not only be to m the s of Adam (to believe I n posss the md of God), but would make my own "Lord have merci" rears, who support the full cln of gays to the life of the church, may stggle to unrstand my reluctance to oppose my hierarchs on this pot.

MY SECRET LIFE AS A GAY ULTRA-ORTHODOX JEW

We are not a gay muny bee we sire the same sexual thgs, but bee we nnect siar formative experienc like feelg different, g out to parents, beg bullied school, alg wh homophobia and zealotry, rencilg our inti wh our fah, and fightg for our rights to equaly and digny.

Although urg unrstandg towards the non-celibate, the Statement suggts that if the homosexual Jews are open about their liftyle – and the Statement affirms their right to be open about this – would be the prerogative of an Orthodox synagogue or muny not to accept them or give them any honors. Ever sce I cled to sign the Statement – a document whose purpose I am strongly sympathetic wh and which was crafted and signed by many close iends and mentors – I have given much thought to the Orthodox world’s relatnship to homosexual Jews, sexually active and celibate alike, and what needs to be “stated” or “clared” about them.

I would further suggt, if only for nsiratns of social policy and muny health, that we enurage exclivy and the formg of a lovg and lastg relatnship-bond as the optimal liftyle for gay Orthodox Jews who feel they are ons and nnot be celibate (and this is the vast majory). “And now we’re gog take this guy after his ath, durg his shiva while his fay is grievg, and start talkg about [how] gays are margalized and whether this drove him to suici, when this is the one se where an Orthodox muny embraced a gay person wh love and wh no exceptns.

ORTHODOX CHRISTIANS WHO STRONGLY FAVOR OR FAVOR GAY MARRIAGE

“If he ever felt prsure, was relieved by the love that he received the muny, but the prsure may have been there bee Jewish tradn is nsistent wh gay activy, ” Feldman participate a Stop Asian Hate rally at Liberty Plaza, next to the Geia State Capol, Atlanta, Geia, March 20, 2021, this still image om drone vio obtaed via social media.

OPENLY GAY ORTHODOX JEWS GET THEIR SAY, SUPPORT

GAY AND ORTHODOX: AN OXYMORON NO MORE

MY YEAR AS A PRO-GAY 'ORTHODOX' HERETIC

ORTHODOX, GAY, AND THE RT IS PRIVATE

YHIVA UNIVERSY IS LEFT MOURNG AFTER A BELOVED GAY ALUM DI BY SUICI

GAY ORTHODOX RABBI OFFERS MSAGE OF CLN