In The Gay Cookbook, Domtic Bliss Was Queer - JSTOR Daily

Contents:

• THE GAY GUI TO WEDD BLISS
• GAY BLISS MEME GENERATOR
• GAY MOSW MOSW CY GUI
• GAY DOMTIC BLISS BOOKS
• IN THE GAY COOKBOOK, DOMTIC BLISS WAS QUEER
• LEGENDARY DUBL GAY BAR TARGETED BY HOMOPHOBIC VANDALS DISTURBG ‘PREMEDATED’ ATTACK

THE GAY GUI TO WEDD BLISS

The old Groucho Marx joke—“I don’t re to belong to any club that will have me as a member”—appli a ltle differently this ntext: you might well ask why gays and lbians want to jo an stutn that keeps dherg about whether to adm them even as the repo men are g for the furnure and the fire marshal is about to close down the clubhoe.

They fear that the spread of gay marriage uld help fally sever the creasgly tenuo lk between children and marriage, nfirmg that ’s okay for dads, or moms, to be leted om fay life as hedonic fulfillment mountg their fense, advot of same-sex marriage have argued that gays and lbians who wish to marry are mted to fay well-beg; that ncern for children’s welfare is a chief reason many do want to marry; that gay people are beg discrimated agast, as a class, beg nied rights readily available to any heterosexual. If the fdgs didn’t le up, maybe this would say somethg about takg a teachg posn at the Universy of Washgton (where she remas a faculty member), Schwartz teamed up wh a gay lleague, the late Philip Blumste, to nduct jt such a survey, zerog on the greater San Francis, New York Cy, and Seattle metropolan areas.

GAY BLISS MEME GENERATOR

Unmarried habg upl were not yet easy to fd, and gays and lbians were so leery of beg outed that when Schwartz asked a woman who belonged to a lbian bridge group whether she uld terview the other players about their relatnships, the woman said, “We don’t even talk about ourselv. The project took about a , and rulted a groundbreakg piece of soclogy, the book Amerin Coupl: Money, Work, Schwartz and Blumste found is that gay and lbian upl were fairer their algs wh one another than straight upl, both tent and practice. ” As for men, she eventually nclud that whether they were straight or gay, they approached sex as they might a sandwich: good, bad, or medcre, they were likely to grab 1: Negotiate advance who will empty the trash and who will clean the studi have sce nfirmed Schwartz and Blumste’s fdgs that same-sex upl are more egalarian.

GAY MOSW MOSW CY GUI

You might say that gay parents are simultaneoly partg om tradnal fay stctur and leadg the way back toward his semal book A Treatise on the Fay, published 1981, the Nobel Prize–wng enomist Gary Becker argued that “specializatn, ” whereby one parent stays home and the other do the earng, is the most efficient way of nng a hoehold, bee the at-home spoe enabl the at-work spoe to earn more. Now the example of gay and lbian parents might give all permissn to relax a ltle: maybe sometim really is easier when one parent works and the other is the supplementary or nonearng partner, eher bee this is the natural orr of thgs or bee the Amerin workplace is so greedy and unfivg that somethg or somebody has to give.

GAY DOMTIC BLISS BOOKS

) While the percentage pot dividg gay men om straight upl is not statistilly signifint, ’s trigug that gay dads are as likely as straight women to be stay-at-home men’s cisns about breadwng n nohels be ght, as many associate employment wh power. A study published the Journal of GLBT Fay Studi 2005 by Stephanie Jill Schacher and two lleagu found that when gay men do specialize, they don’t have an easy time cidg who will do what: some stay-at-home dads perceived that their choice rried wh a loss prtige and stature.

IN THE GAY COOKBOOK, DOMTIC BLISS WAS QUEER

Overall, the rearchers found that the qualy of gay and lbian relatnships was higher on many measur than that of the straight ntrol group (the married heterosexual siblgs), wh more patibily and timacy, and ls married straight upl wh kids, 32 percent have only one parent the labor force, vers 33 percent of gay-male upl wh kids.

”In the urse of my reportg this year stat that had newly legalized same-sex marriage, people the know—weddg planners, officiants, fiancés and fiancé—told me time and aga that nuptial fever had broken out around them, among gay and straight upl alike. So low are expectatns for fathers, even now, that Stephanie Schacher’s study of gay fathers and their feelgs about regivg, her subjects reported that people would see them walkg on the street wh their children and say thgs like “Givg Mom a break?

Rather than settg an example that fathers don’t matter, gay men are settg an example that fathers do matter, and that marriage matters, SEX PROBLEMWhen, the 1970s and early 1980s, Pepper Schwartz asked upl about their sex liv, she arrived at perhaps her most explosive fdg: non-monogamy was rampant among gay men, a whoppg 82 percent of whom reported havg had sex outsi their relatnship.

LEGENDARY DUBL GAY BAR TARGETED BY HOMOPHOBIC VANDALS DISTURBG ‘PREMEDATED’ ATTACK

When asked whether a uple had arrived at an explic agreement about extra-relatnal sex, a mcule 4 percent of straight hbands said they’d discsed wh their partner and termed that was okay, pared wh 40 percent of gay men civil unns and 49 percent of gay men partnerships that were not legally regnized. Straight women and lbians, meanwhile, were uned their mment to monogamy, lbians more so than straight women: 14 percent of straight wiv said they had had sex outsi their marriage, pared wh 9 percent of lbians civil unns and 7 percent of lbians who were partnered but not civil qutn of whether gays and lbians will change marriage, or vice versa, is at s thornit around sex and monogamy. Naveen Jonathan, a fay therapist and a profsor at Chapman Universy, California, says he se many gay partners hammer out an elaborate who-n-do-what-when sexual ntract, one that says, “The are the tim and the suatns where ’s okay to be non-monogamo, and the are the tim and the suatns where is not.