'Accept' and 'Tolerate' My Gay Kid? That's Not Good Enough | HuffPost Voic

Contents:

• WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?
• GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"
• GAY KIDS
• WHAT'S LIFE LIKE FOR GAY KIDS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS?
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• THE BEST MUNICH GAY CLUBS & BARSGAY CLUBS & BARS MUNICH
• 10 TIPS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• GAY KIDS THE REAL WORLD
• THE CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELV
• MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT
• ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
• 'ACCEPT' AND 'TOLERATE' MY GAY KID? THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH
• THE RIGHT TO EXPEL GAY CHILDREN OM SCHOOL ISN'T ABOUT EEDOM; 'S ABOUT CELTY
• THE FORSAKEN: A RISG NUMBER OF HOMELS GAY TEENS ARE BEG CAST OUT BY RELIG FAI
• MIDDLE SCHOOL VS. MY GAY KID

WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?

Ma characters they are not, but we love to see LGBTQ+ fai and, hontly, we didn’t realize how much we were missg gay zebras until Chip and Potato, rated TV-Y, on Ltle Pony: Friendship Is MagicSotaloo is raised by a lbian uple, Aunt Holiday and Auntie KenneyMy Ltle Pony: Friendship Is Magic follows the adventur of unirns, pegasi, and poni throughout Equtria, where they solve problems and, ocsnally, battle the forc of darkns, cludg the Cutie Mark Csars, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Sotaloo. It’s a show about figurg out who you are, and that clus Cys, one of Andi’s bt iends, who out as gay Season years after Cys me out on the show, Joshua Rh, who played Cys on the show, me out on Twter as bisexual. While there are some mor gay characters on the show, ma character Jeff is beg raised by two moms, EJ (voiced by Lea DeLaria) and Sue (voiced by Tig Notaro) one pot the seri had unnamed gay characters kissg (the b is funny, though the edy isn't their kiss).

GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

”Stream Twelve Forever, rated TV-PG, on FayMchell and Cam were among the first proment gay parents a KenneyWhen Morn Fay premiered 2009, Cam and Mchell were among the few gay ma characters on a work s (and, let’s be hont: ’s still not mon).

GAY KIDS

But all is well and, throughout the seri, while their gay inty is sometim a plot pot, more often they’re jt another fay on the the most part, the plotl wrten for Cam and Mchell uld easily be wrten for a straight uple. Gay 3-year-old boys n’t verbalize their sire to be wh a man when they grow up—although many such children exhib cshlike behavr toward adult men—but they may be tryg to learn the behavr that will later attract a male partner.

Gog onle broke through the isolatn that had been a hallmark of beg young and gay, and allowed gay teenagers to fd rmatn to refute what their fai or church sometim still told them - namely, that they would never fd happs and to the Inter and to creasg cultural acceptance of homosexualy (an crease marred, we should note, by measur like Proposn 8), kids who might once have waed until high school or even llege to e out are now dog so earlier.

" They were not, however, silent: "Good luck gettg middle-schoolers not to talk, " the school unselor youth of the Webster kids and other gay middle-schoolers is a sign of how far gay rights have e — but 's also the kids' biggt obstacle to acceptance. The irony of a parent spectg her kid is gay and then refg to believe he uld know his own orientatn highlights how much more difficulty some parents have wh burgeong gay sexualy than they would wh a straight kid's of this may have to do wh the misnceptn that you have to have gay terurse to be gay, or that homosexualy is somehow a more "sexual" orientatn than heterosexualy.

WHAT'S LIFE LIKE FOR GAY KIDS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS?

A lawyer Florida argued that gay-straight allianc promote the "premature sexualizatn of the stunts, " and when At started a gay-straight alliance, his Michigan school ma him ll somethg "ls ntroversial" (he chose "Peace Alliance").

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

Denizet-Lewis reports the hopeful words of velopmental psychologist Rch Sav-Williams: "This is the first generatn of gay kids who have the great joy of beg able to argue wh their parents about datg, jt like their straight peers do. The basels claim that chemils – particularly tap water – uld turn people gay has gaed populary wh nspiracy theorists over the years, most memorably wh nservative rad host Alex Jon, who said chemils the water were “turng the igg’ ogs gay.

This year is no different, om a Mississippi unty school board banng 18-year-old Constance McMillan, who wanted to wear a tux and brg her girliend, to the Miami gay senr who was crowned prom queen -only to be disowned by his own fay. COX: One of the areas that has been an issue the gay, lbian, transgenr muny, as far as public schools are ncerned, is whether or not to tegrate the stunts to the mastream populatn or to some way segregate them, even if is jt for their safety.

THE BEST MUNICH GAY CLUBS & BARSGAY CLUBS & BARS MUNICH

COX: Is possible, Judy, to tablish wh a school settg, let's say, a program that will benef stunts who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr - not discrimate agast them but at the same time, allow them to have the fort of beg an area where they n feel fortable? Those are the clear non-discrimatn and anti-bullyg, anti-harassment polici that explicly clu sexual orientatn and genr exprsn and genr inty as among those tegori of protectn; havg supportive faculty and school staff available to young people to help them when issu arise; the prence of stunt clubs, monly known as gay-straight allianc, or GSAs, and other stunt advocy to improve school climate; and the prence of clive curricular elements that accurately and appropriately pict LGBT people, history and life.

I thk Judy embodi what I thk is bt all people who go to tn, but I do have to pot out that there are ser stutnal barriers across the untry for teachers, gay or straight, who wish to reach out and help stunts who are havg a hard time. Stunts we asked - a natnal sample of sendary school stunts, middle and high school, the - gay and straight - about the most equent bas for bullyg and harassment their schools, and the top three that were listed were physil appearance and body size, actual or perceived sexual orientatn, and whether a stunt was perceived to be, quote-unquote, mascule or feme enough.

Our guts are Eliza Byard, executive director of the Gay, Lbian and Straight Edutn Network, also known as GLSEN; and Judy Chiasson, wh the Office of Human Relatns, Diversy and Equy, Los Angel Unified School District. Unified School District; Eliza Byard, as - serv as executive director of the Gay, Lbian and Straight Edutn Network; and someone who joed by phone who - Stanley, who was om Massachetts, print of the PFLAG chapter there.

10 TIPS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS

(Photo by Tabatha Fireman/Getty Imag)JACK GUEZ via Getty ImagAn Israeli girl ss on a relative's shoulrs wavg the rabow flag, the ternatnal symbol of gay pri, durg the annual Gay Pri para along the streets of Tel Aviv on June 6, 2008. Suici is the send leadg e of ath among young people aged 10 to 24 (Hegaard, Curt, & Warner, 2018) — and lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer, and qutng (LGBTQ) youth are at signifintly creased youth are more than four tim as likely to attempt suici than their peers (Johns et al., 2019; Johns et al., 2020) Trevor Project timat that more than 1.

So on the basis of some earlier, shakier rearch, along wh a good dose of mon sense, Bailey and Zucker hypothized that homosexuals would show an verted pattern of sex-typed childhood behavrs—ltle boys preferrg girls as playmat and beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls strangely enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg—that sort of thg. Although only 12 percent of the women grew up to be genr dysphoric (the unfortable sense that your blogil sex do not match your genr), the odds of the women reportg a bisexual or homosexual orientatn were up to 23 tim higher than would occur a general sample of young women.

Bailey and Zucker, who nducted a retrospective study which adults answered qutns about their past, revealed that 89 percent of randomly sampled gay men relled cross-sex-typed childhood behavrs exceedg the heterosexual median. Cross-cultural data show that prehomosexual boys are more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer; they are also ls likely to be childhood bulli. Bee the data often reveal very early emergg tras prehomosexuals, children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy, whereas gay adults who were sex-typil as children might trace their homosexualy more directly to particular childhood experienc.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

Lang, Elton John and Rachel Maddow's close relativ, but I n only image that the straight k are far better off terms of their own reproductive opportuni than they would be whout a homosexual danglg so magnificently on their fay tre.

So cultivate your ltle prehomosexual's native talents, and your ultimate geic payoff uld, strangely enough, be even larger wh one very special gay child than would be if 10 medcre straight offsprg leaped om your los. And another thg: mt be pretty hard to look to your prehomosexual toddler's limpid ey, bsh away the okie cmbs om her cheek and toss her out on the streets for beg article was origally published wh the tle "Is Your Child Gay? - The world's first fe art photography magaze dited to queer and gay 2 - the Pri Issue featur ten photographers om ne untri: AY (UK), David Charl Colls (Atralia), Matthew Fley (USA), Ashish Gupta (India), Manuel Monyo (Mexi), Juan Anton Papagni Me (Argenta), Sebastian Perotti (Argenta), Mric A.

It now reprents more than 67 photographers om 27 untri - cludg Cha, India, Iran, Poland, Rsia and Turkey where gay rights are reprsed and queer liv unr nstant have been onle and physil exhibns, and two sold out BOYS!

GAY KIDS THE REAL WORLD

"05The First Biracial Gay Couple on NickeloonJt before Lln Loud opens his ont door to iend Cly McBri and his parents a 2016 episo of rtoon seri The Loud Hoe, he looks directly at viewers and says, "This is ...

THE CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELV

"As a gay man who grew up wh no visible role mols of gay relatnships my muny or entertament ntent, I am grateful that this reprentatn is happeng on Nickeloon, moved by the difference that is surely makg the mds and hearts of children, and grateful to have been a part of this slow but important change, " Dickie told PRIDE. "Maybe you always had an klg that your kid was gay or transgenr, maybe you noticed your kid's affectn for a certa someone before they even regnized what those feelgs were, or you noticed certa role mols that they chose and ma some assumptns about what that meant about their inty... Parents of gay children may be shocked when their kids e out of the closet, but once the dt settl, most parents realize that their child is the same one they have loved and red for all their liv, they jt happen to be gay.

Jt T hasn't been alone as his star ris the polil world -- whether visg Cha's Great Wall, dg at the Whe Hoe or marchg Toronto's gay pri para, he's often joed by his fay who have helped cement his reputatn as a down-to-earth everyman. Back 1995, I vised rooms where olr men cise for young men and boys and vice versa (like "BarelyLegalM2M") for a week when I wrote a feature for Wired magaze on gay and lbian teenagers rooms are a theater of archetyp, of men wh nam like "HedCoach" and "LuvDad" exchangg horny msag wh "SwmrDu" and "MclKid. For some of the highly telligent, articulate young men, an offle renzvo wh an olr male was a risk that had turned out to be worth tth is, gay teenagers and olr gay men have always found ways to meet, spe every law agast .

Those teractns, ght wh risk on every si, prise a kd of iatory procs for young gay men - one ma necsary by the srcy of believable gay role mols for youth films and on TV, and the fact that 's not ol to walk down the hall of high school wh your bt buddy, holdg hands and gog was possible for gay kids to urt one another openly, teenagers would have a lot ls centive to seek out olr men for the kd of adoratn, engagement, and y, sex, that they n't get om their peers. Most, though not all, teenagers would rather sleep wh someone their own age the past, a gay kid might go to nsirable lengths to ferret out the lotn of the lol gay bar, and park himself on the siwalk outsi on a Saturday night, tryg to look relaxed, hopg to be noticed. The onle nnectn has ma much easier for teenagers to reach their peers via such rourc for gay youth as the Be Yourself mailg lists and Oasis our kids really needIf we really wanted to protect kids om those who want to hurt them, we'd make sure that every gay teenager the world had accs to a Net nnectn, gay stunts' anizatns, supportive adult mentors, and the Net-savvy to differentiate between hurtful smmers and potential 'd make sure that gay kids had the same opportuni for joy and the open display of affectn as straight kids: the chance to stroll down Ma Street wh the one you dizzily love, sportg a hickey or two; proud to be part of a uple for the first time your 'd stop participatg the sniggerg mpaigns n by Time and Newsweek, beratg Al Gore as loser-of-the-week for makg a very d statement of support for Ellen DeGener, and realize that gay and straight kids need to see as many diverse mols of thentic human relatnship media as we n we'd stop foolg ourselv and wastg valuable rourc wh showboatg, headle-grabbg opportunism that reassur that we n nct a totally safe world for our children by isolatg evil a certa populatn, makg ever larger and more public databas of that populatn, and keepg those pariahs out of our neighborhoods and off the day, the onle world sends a wake up ll that is as real as the offle world.

MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT

Allison, raised Connecticut and Vermont by her mom and her mom's partner: “As soon as I found out [my new school] had a gay-straight alliance I jt— was amazg, to know that there are other kids my age—to realize that they were supportive of LGBT people.

If you look at the vast majory of thgs that fe who my moms are, or who my fay is, 's really no more accurate to say that my moms are gay married, than to say they are Packers-fan married, or work--healthre married. But as much as I thought was adorable, I also dread moments like the, bee as the father of a gay child, the only thg that really worri me is other people's potential reactns to him: Will he say or do the wrong thg to the wrong person? I fely didn't explore the possibily of fdg other gay kids my you spect or know that your child is gay, tst me — they're feelg the same way I glued to the ground, they're immobilized by any tth to the possibily that there are other gay kids like them.

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

Whether they e right out and tell you, "I'm gay", or they play nial dodgeball, your bt approach is to empathize wh them, validate their feelgs and reassure them they're not the only gay kids their school, social circl, church, cy, state, etc.. If you haven't e to terms wh your own beliefs about homosexualy, then be hont wh the gay kids your life and let them know you're still tryg to sort out how you feel about homosexualy — not how you feel about kids n be fense driven. If your son or dghter don't feel fortable talkg to you right away, or if you don't feel fortable talkg about right away, try nsultg another gay person or anizatn (ex PFLAG) is a suatn Marie experienced tellg me, "Bee I was away at school after g out to my mom, I didn't have the experience of 'livg wh ' daily so I wasn't aware that she was really stgglg wh .

'ACCEPT' AND 'TOLERATE' MY GAY KID? THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH

If you are a gay person crisis anizatns like PFLAG Canada, Kids Help Phone, Egale Canada are jt a ll or click 'T: Make about youOne of the most mon reactns om parents n be steppg to a closet of their own, feelg the need to hi the fact that their child has jt e out. Durg a film screeng of his movie My Fake Boyiend  June, McDermott posted an Instagram Story which said, part, “The thg I love about this movie is I got to share wh my 15-year-old, who intifi as trans, and my gay son. “As a parent, I wanted EJ to know that we loved him and would always love him, ” Magic Johnson told the New York Tim of his reactn when his son, makp artist EJ Johnson, me out to him as gay when he was a teenager.

THE RIGHT TO EXPEL GAY CHILDREN OM SCHOOL ISN'T ABOUT EEDOM; 'S ABOUT CELTY

“As long as I am upright, I will fight [so] that Sam and everyone’s children and grandchildren and sisters and brothers will be protected every state of the Uned Stat, ” Sally Field said of her son, Sam Greisman, who is gay — and why she’s a part of the Human Rights Campaign’s work towards the Equaly Act. I cherish the good stori, but there's often a moment those good stori that mak my heart hurt: when they tell me how happy they are that their parents "still" love them -- bee all those kids knew that not lovg them was an policians there is a lot talk of "acceptance" and "tolerance" when to homosexualy, and I n't help but thk that those are the wrong words.

Polics is supposed to be a numbers game, but when relign to the picture, policians lose the power to spe what archbishops preach about the ss of Sodom, expellg gay kids is a practice too grim for most Catholic and Anglin Catholic schools NSW expel kids for beg gay, the Guardian asked spokwoman Ana Quigley.

Even laws that bee too awful over time to enforce set a Godly was the old argument agast crimalisg homosexualy and ’s the argument now of men at the top of the church for hangg on to this relic of old hatreds: the right to expel gay kids. At this pot, the central Christian need for the right to sack gay staff and expel gay kids … of this oute explas the d referenc so many submissns to Ruddock llg for h protectns so that the fahful never suffer “fancial nsequenc” for livg by their beliefs. ”The uproar of the last few days will surely pel the ernment to release the full Ruddock report and the natn n, at last, have a bate about s the moment we are beg told however distasteful we fd the sight of fahs harassg gay pupils – and gay teachers – taxpayers are expected to keep footg the ’s what unts the end.

THE FORSAKEN: A RISG NUMBER OF HOMELS GAY TEENS ARE BEG CAST OUT BY RELIG FAI

Culled om a longlist of hundreds, movi nsired for the list promently feature gay, lbian, trans, or queer characters; ncern self centrally wh LGBTQ+ them; prent s LGBTQ+ characters a fair and realistic light; and/or be seen as a touchpot the evolutn of queer cema. And we regnize that some of the films the list will re-igne healthy bat that have been fixtur of discsn around LGBTQ+ films — straight actors playg gay characters, cis actors playg trans characters, and the historil domance of whe male perspectiv. For our most recent update to the list, we’ve add mastream edi Fire Island and Bros, thriller Knock at the Cab (featurg two pairs of hbands whose vatn is terpted by the potential apolypse), Disney feature Strange World (wh the stud’s first openly gay lead character), Blue Jean (a Brish drama set durg the Thatcher premiership), the extremely well-reviewed Girl Picture), France’s magil realist The Five Devils, and Cann 2023 buts Monster and Strange Way of Life.

MIDDLE SCHOOL VS. MY GAY KID

Toward the end of her sophomore year, Jackie got a text msage om one of her sorory sisters who said she’d been seen kissg another girl, after which certa sisters started makg clear that they were not fortable around Jackie. After a Southern California school district rejected a state-endorsed social studi curriculum that clus material on gay rights, top state officials are vowg to buy a textbook qutn and distribute to stunts before the new school year. The announcement is the latt dispute between state and lol officials after the Temecula Valley Unified School District’s board voted 3-2 on May 16 to reject the curriculum, wh some board members claimg there was not enough parental volvement the curriculum creatn procs as well as makg ments attackg gay rights activist and polician Harvey Milk.