What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• THE HISTORY OF THE WORD “GAY”
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• GAY
• GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)
• MEANG OF GAY ENGLISH
• TURNS OUT, BARBIELAND ISN'T AS GAY AS S QUEER FANS HAD HOPED
• JAGUARS’ KEV MAXEN IS FIRST MALE ACH TO E OUT AS GAY US MEN’S PRO SPORTS

THE HISTORY OF THE WORD “GAY”

Sexual orientatn refers to the endurg physil, romantic and/or emotnal attractn to members of the same and/or other genrs, cludg lbian, gay, bisexual and straight orientatns. For centuri, gay was ed monly speech and lerature to mean happy, reee, bright and showy, and did not take on any sexual meang until the 1600s. At that time the meang of gay as reee evolved to imply that a person was unrtraed by morals and prone to nce and promiscuy.

“Gay hoe” was monly ed to refer to a brothel and, later, “gaiety” was ed as a mon name for certa plac of entertament. In the 1890s, the term “gey t” (a Sttish variant of gay) was ed to scribe a vagrant who offered sexual servic to women or a young traveler who was new to the road and the pany of an olr man.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

This latter e suggts that the younger man was a sexually submissive role and may be among the first tim that gay was ed implyg a homosexual relatnship. In 1951, gay appeared the Oxford English Dictnary for the first time as slang for homosexual, but was most likely ed this way “unrground” at least 30 years earlier.

” This le (ad-libbed by Grant) n be terpreted to mean that he was behavg a happy-go-lucky or lighthearted way but is accepted by many as the first e of gay to mean homosexual a mastream movie.

When gay is ed today to mean stupid or unsirable ( has only been ed this way sce the 1990s), rri wh a history of negative judgment and rigid ias about who or what is acceptable.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

As part of the curriculum, Unheard Voic featur a sectn on the word “gay, ” s history and how to e the word properly. Pri, formerly known as Gay Pri, is a regnn of LGBTQ inty, affirmatn of equal rights, and celebratn of visibily, digny, and diversy the LGBTQ muny.

While the word homosexual is still ocsnally ed some ntexts, you might have noticed that don’t make an appearance any versn of the LGBTQ acronym. As our age note on the term stat, “up until 1973, homosexualy was listed The Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs (DSM), psychiatry’s standard reference on the classifitn of mental illns.

GAY

And many feel that this word plac undue emphasis on sexual activy, or that sounds overly clil.” In fact, the term homosexual was liberately rejected by early gay rights activists bee, acrdg to The New York Tim, “they did not want to be intified as exclively sexual begs.”. Gay, on the other hand, n be ed to scribe a person of any genr who experienc same-sex attractn, although is most often ed to scribe a man who is attracted to men. On June 28, 1969, the New York Cy police raid the Stonewall Inn, a bar equented by gay and genr-nonnformg people (at a time when terms like LGBTQ didn’t yet exist).

Partially rponse to Stonewall, 1970, queer activists New York Cy anized a march to Central Park wh the theme “Gay Pri.” A more prehensive history of the Stonewall Rt or the Stonewall Uprisg n be found our Pri Month explaer.

Queer lerally means “strange or odd om a nventnal viewpot,” and by at least by the late 1800s, queer was ployed as a rogatory term for an effemate or gay man.

GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) AND GAY (HAPPY)

In other words, 5-10% of people experience same-sex sexual attractn or behavr; of urse, this don't speak to what mak people gay. Morn science is workg to show that geics is one of the of beg gay, although some science nflicts this area.

MEANG OF GAY ENGLISH

Study of fay history reveals that homosexual men have more homosexuals their fay tree than do heterosexuals. While psychologil factors may crease the likelihood that someone is gay, no sgle factor is known to e homosexualy. It very much appears that same-sex sexual attractn is not a choice but actg on is; so if you fe gay as the mere prence of same-sex attractn, then om everythg we unrstand, beg gay is not a choice.

If, on the other hand, you nsir someone to be gay only if they act on their same-sex attractn then beg gay n be nsired a choice pendg on an dividual's behavr. Whether science n ultimately prove the blogy of beg gay or not, 's important to support all adults their choic no matter how they intify. So many gay men grow up believg there is somethg “wrong” wh bee we are different om other supposedly “normal” mal.

It prumably means the advertiser nsirs himself a “real” man—real, that is, acrdg to a standard of masculy he don’t attribute to other gay men.

TURNS OUT, BARBIELAND ISN'T AS GAY AS S QUEER FANS HAD HOPED

So many gay men learn we are different om other boys by havg the fact poted out and ridiculed by bulli durg our young, most imprsnable, years. As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard.

JAGUARS’ KEV MAXEN IS FIRST MALE ACH TO E OUT AS GAY US MEN’S PRO SPORTS

How do a gay kid survive the trma he suffers for beg different a culture that still nmns his difference as somethg bad or “ls-than” and wants to mold him to the same shape tri to mold every boy? Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected.

He needs to know that ’s okay not only to be gay if that's what he is, but to be a man who choos what beg a man means for himself.