If You’re Gay, Should You See a Gay Therapist? | Psychology Today

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Mark Chaney-Gay, Clil Social Work/Therapist, Carlsbad, CA, 92009, (442) 233-8249, Hello. My name is Mark. I am a gay, disabled therapist (licensed clil social worker, LCSW). I believe that we all have the strengths to overe or pe wh the challeng we face, we might jt need a ltle support. I work wh a wi range of clients, but I have a passn for those wh disabili, those wh foster re experience, and those the LGBTQI muny. I work wh clients facg anxiety, prsn, trma, relatnship challeng, and life transns. While ssn wh me you n expect a direct and empathetic approach.

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IF YOU’RE GAY, SHOULD YOU SEE A GAY THERAPIST?

LGBTQ-affirmative therapists will be versed the negative effects of homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, and heteronormativy (the assumptn that heterosexualy is “normal” and superr) and help clients navigate the challeng they prent—as well as relatnship problems, fay tensn, or other day-to-day ncerns for which a client might seek are the advantag of seeg an LGBTQ-iendly therapist? As a therapist, I’m often hearg certa particular qutns om clients and potential clients alike—as a gay man, should I be seeg a gay therapist?

Let’s beg wh the benefs of seeg a gay therapist.

You n go wh the assumptn that your gay male therapist will be fortable and will have already heard about everythg—cludg your sex life. Addnally, a gay male therapist n spend time wh you talkg about shared gay muny norms, which n help you make cisns about what’s healthy for you and/or how you may want to modulate your behavr. Over the years I’ve worked wh gay male clients, I’ve found some men rentful of me based on ems that are important wh our muny: my succs, what I look like, my wardrobe, or—more signifintly—their assumptns about who I am based on their own projectns.

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Clients often assume I f the mold of the stereotypil whe gay man who has everythg and won’t honor the sancty of the relatnship. Contrary to many people’s assumptns, gay men are not immune to homophobia, most of ternalized om a lifetime of livg a homophobic world. This fear and anger n surface therapy wh another gay man, pecially if the therapist is fortable wh himself ways that the client is not yet.

Consirg seeg a therapist who isn’t gay n seem a ltle sry; gay men often make assumptns about a straight therapist’s level of fort wh the thgs the client wants to talk about. And fdg someone outsi of the gay muny who is fortable wh all aspects of a gay client’s life n be a profound and healg experience; I’ve often sent gay clients to non-gay therapists.

From my pot of view, 's tertg to explore the assumptns gay men have about straight therapists, and the assumptns they make about how therapists view them.

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And sce we don’t live isolatn, a straight therapist n brg a perspective to the table that a gay therapist might not—they n speak out of their experience as a parent, for example.

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Sometim that experience n be more eful than the perspective of a gay male therapist.

Feelg safe and rpected by your therapist—whether that person is gay or not—is the key to succsful therapy. Fally, gay men may choose to work wh different therapists based on where they are their life’s trajectory. They might enter therapy for the first time wh a gay male therapist bee on some levels, as we’ve seen, the unrstandg of the gay muny may make seem easier to talk to a gay man.

At other tim, perhaps later life, a gay client may choose a different, straight therapist based on other creria that are important to that particular moment.

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It’s absolutely okay for you to ask them if they’ve had experience workg wh gay men, but make sure to really listen to them when they answer. Even if a straight therapist has had few or no gay clients, they still might offer precisely what you need, and a rponse along the l of, “I haven’t had that many experienc, and maybe you’ll help me unrstand more” is actually pretty ial; you’ll both be engaged the procs. Straight or gay?

gay.

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Some stggle wh beg sgle, others wh their relatnship, or wh their sexual thenticy Together through talk therapy, we n fd a pathway to a eper unrstandg and a way to move forward wh nfince and secury My clients are om different worlds, heterosexual, homosexual,.

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Gay Affirmg Therapy- Start This Week. I am a gay, disabled therapist (licensed clil social worker, LCSW). Mark Chaney-Gay.

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MARK CHANEY-GAY

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