bars</tle><g id="el_oZ84Hna1GC_65hRV2Qwn" class="css-1fxvzwo" data-animator-group="te" data-animator-type="0"><g id="el_oZ84Hna1GC_ILVvi2tqx" class="css-1wnday1" ata-animator-group="te" data-animator-type="2"><g id="el_oZ84Hna1GC"><rect x="34" width="6" height="36" id="el_qw_T_tngXw"></rect></g></g></g><g id="el_mYVjkduhMU_p_9Pm85Ac" class="css-fwki7z" data-animator-group="te" data-animator-type="0"><g id="el_mYVjkduhMU_WxG3R40yd" class="css-t3i5e6" data-animator-group="te" data-animator-type="2"><g id="el_mYVjkduhMU"><rect x="22.67" width="6" height="36" id="el_lf9GrROk6j"></rect></g></g></g><g id="el_o-EuxhgoAw_kYNRGDfcw" class="css-t9te0w" data-animator-group="te" data-animator-type="0"><g id="el_o-EuxhgoAw_3c3bzSjOJ" class="css-1r5375t" ata-animator-group="te" data-animator-type="2"><g id="el_o-EuxhgoAw"><rect x="11.33" width="6" height="36" id="el_-iueO8klO0"></rect></g></g></g><g id="el_F7mSMPhqpC_y_fKcpSxn" class="css-qknaag" data-animator-group="te" data-animator-type="0"><g id="el_F7mSMPhqpC_R6bNB6_Ys" class="css-1vd04" ata-animator-group="te" data-animator-type="2"><g id="el_F7mSMPhqpC"><rect width="6" height="36" id="el_dS5TKNZZ5w"></rect></g></g></g></svg></div><div><div class="css-1t7yl1y">0:00<!-- -->/<!-- -->25:46</div><div class="css-og85jy">-<!-- -->25:46</div></div></div></div></hear><div class="css-uzyn7p"><div class="css-1vxyw"><p class="css-1nng8z9">transcript</p><h2 class="css-9wqu2x">I Promised God It Was the Last Time</h2><h4 class="css-qsd3hm">After years of supprsg her gay sir, an ultra-Orthodox Jewish woman reach her breakg pot.</h4><time dateTime="2023-02-08T21:00:10.000Z" class="css-1e605">2023-02-08T16:00:10-05:00</time></div><dl class="css-p98d0w"><dt class="css-xx7kwh"></dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">This transcript was created g speech regnn software. While has been reviewed by human transcribers, may nta errors. Please review the episo d before quotg om this transcript and email wh any qutns.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">When Sara Glass walked to the stud, I had to say somethg about her outf.</p></dd><dl class="css-1jysr6y"><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I’m noticg you’re wearg some very fabulo black leather pants.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">The are my power pants. This is like when I have somethg important to do that day. It’s like, the are the black leather pants.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Would you have worn somethg like this — I don’t know — 15 years ago?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Oh, no, even five years ago, or maybe five years ago, I would have worn the the cy, but not back on Long Island.</p></dd></dl><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Sara grew up an ultra Orthodox Jewish muny. For most of her life, she wore skirts and drs, never pants — and fely not leather on. Bee there are strict l about what Orthodox women n and n’t wear. And Sara followed all of them.</p></dd><dl class="css-1jysr6y"><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I was wearg a wig over my hair. So was a long blon wig. And I wore skirts. Somethg most that vered my llarbone, elbows and kne. And then I would need to wear tights below that so that you wouldn’t see any exposed sk.</p></dd></dl><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">But 14 years ago, Sara quietly started changg how she showed herself to the world. At first, was slow.</p></dd><dl class="css-1jysr6y"><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I stopped verg my hair. And I wore my skirts a ltle shorter. And I was sendg like a nonverbal signal that somethg had shifted.</p></dd></dl><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">What shifted was that Sara started beg hont wh herself. Sara is gay. And she was done hidg . So she started rejectg the l and beliefs she’d grown up wh. And she knew people would notice.</p></dd><dl class="css-1jysr6y"><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I thk what I wanted was for them to not make the assumptn of heteronormativy or religsy when lookg at me. I wanted them to have a doubt their mds and so that they would know that if they really wanted me to be, like, straight or relig, that would be somethg they would need to ask me whether I was or wasn’t.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">As opposed to assumg somethg?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Yeah.</p></dd></dl><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">From The New York Tim, I’m Anna Mart. This is Morn Love.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">[THEME MUSIC]</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">We’re spendg today wh Sara Glass, who wrote an say about her first love, a forbidn love, wh a girl om high school. It’s lled, “Please God, Help Me Stop Missg Her.” Here’s an excerpt om that say read by Julia Whelan.</p></dd><dl class="css-1jysr6y"><dt class="css-xx7kwh">julia whelan</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">On the first day of 10th gra Borough Park Brooklyn, she slung her backpack down near me. Our classmat penciled equatns onto graph paper, but she drew on her arm neon gel pen, “Hannah.” I rolled out up my intil navy checked sleeve and put a ballpot pen to my own pale sk. She smirked. I wanted to know everythg about her.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">She was om another cy where there were no Orthodox Jewish high schools. “I don’t get this place,” she said.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">“I will tell you everythg you need to know,” I said.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">We met up Brooklyn at a ncert. We watched Keret, our muny superstar, her long gown sparklg as she filled the room wh song. Hannah was so close that I uld feel the movements of her body the air between . I clenched my shoulr blas together tight, tighter.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">Around , dozens of p voic sang wh Keret about the world to e. Not exactly the appropriate soundtrack for actg on my unholy sir. When the mic end, we watched the crowd disperse onto the streets, a stream of girls and women most garb.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">“Want to sleepover?” I asked, tryg to take the urgency out of my words.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">“Sure! Can we get pizza?”</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">In the dim glow of the streetlights, I saw her gr.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">We created our own ncert later that night, a silent orchtra of sk on sk, her breath my ear, and the poundg of our hearts agast each other the dark. We held each other afterward. I felt her face agast me, her fgers trailg down my back. I wanted to say, “I thk about every sgle day.”</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">As the sunlight bled through my wdow blds, I tried not to notice the slope of her pale shoulr, the way her dark hair spread over my pillow. “This is the last time,” I promised myself and God, as I slid my leg out om between hers.</p></dd></dl><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">It wasn’t the last time. There were other girls. But Sara saw her sir as unholy, unfahful. So she shoved them ep si her. And she mted herself to a life of followg the l.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">At 19, Sara got married to a man. And she prayed would fix her. Here’s Sara.</p></dd><dl class="css-1jysr6y"><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">When I got married to my first hband, I had strong feelgs that I really should be wh a woman and not wh a man. But I wanted to do what God said was right. And so I had ma mistak, but I fought . I prayed. I fasted. It was like, you know, I’d love to murr people, but I’m like over , I’m mostly over . I only thk of , like, once a while.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">It was that evil to you?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Yeah.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">It was ak to murrg someone?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Exactly. And I thought, I n do . Like, ’s OK. I n handle . I’ll be wh a man. But at least I’ll get to be me this one way.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">I’ll get to have a PhD psychology. That’s, like, the thg for me. My body is gog to be for God. Everythg I do every day will be for God. But jt like, was like the one thg.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">It was like my barga wh God. Let me jt have the PhD psychology. I jt want to do this one thg.</p></dd></dl><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Sara had dreamed of beg a psychologist sce she was a kid. She wanted to work wh children and wh teenagers. But was very rare for a woman her muny to get an advanced gree.</p></dd><dl class="css-1jysr6y"><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I knew growg up the Hasidic ultra-Orthodox muny, beg a psychologist would be a battle. And so I went and got rabbic permissn om my rabbi to go to graduate school and get a gree psychology. But then my hband seemed to disagree wh that.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And so he went to his rabbi. And his rabbi didn’t thk that would be a very good ia. And so together, they cid I should get a master’s social work stead.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">How did you feel about gog to school for a gree that wasn’t really the dream you’d had?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I was vastated. I was really, really vastated. It jt ma me feel pletely trapped a world that I didn’t really want.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Tell me about what you were learng this social work program?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Social work school, was like my first foray out to the real world outsi of the ultra-Orthodox muny. And I geared up for llege like was a spirual battle. I had holy texts my r. I had a buddy, a relig woman om my block, who was like travelg wh me to llege. We had a plan to study Bible works durg every lunch break so that whatever we learned llege — we didn’t know what would be — but whatever me at the spirual mefield of social work school, we would be ready.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">You uld bat .</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">We’ve got this. And this one day, my profsor rolled one of those old VCRs to the classroom on the ltle metal stand. And the entire film was all about women dancg wh other women and kissg other women and then men who are wearg nail polish.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And I started to get flashbacks of girls I had been wh high school. Seeg the external maniftatn of the mon I had been tryg to fight for my entire life ma me really worried that my bra would turn back on to havg those thoughts and feelgs and that I wouldn’t be able to shut off. And then I started to worry — I was breastfeedg my dghter at the time — and I started to worry, what if the thgs that I see on the screen go to my k and then they fect my dghter? And so I raised my hand and asked to meet the profsor outsi of class and jt basilly asked to be exced.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Was that fear of whatever fluence sort of filtratg your body, was that somethg fah-based or was that a personal fear of yours?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">It was fah-based. We were raised to believe that everythg we thought had nsequenc, everythg we ate had nsequenc, and that everythg we thought while pregnant had nsequenc for our fet we’re rryg.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">How did you unrstand your sexualy at that pot?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I was tryg really hard to be straight. And I thought I had mostly nquered what was an evil temptatn.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">And you felt like, OK, I’m — you were tryg so hard. It sounds like you had such a sort of vice grip on the sir. But then this vio kd of blasted that open aga. Is that te?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">It was threateng to blast that open aga. I had a 1 and 1/2 year old and a newborn. And I uldn’t afford to have all that blasted open.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">What was at stake for you if those sir did e out aga?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">The risks for me were this. If I were to allow that door to bt open and if I were to allow myself to have all the thoughts about women, I uld lose ctody of my children. So the stak were pretty damn high.</p></dd></dl><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">After the break, gets harr and harr for Sara to lie to herself. And then she’s forced to be hont. That’s next.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">Eventually, Sara Glass divorced her first hband. She got remarried to another man who was supportive of her gettg her PhD. Those years were by. She had two ltle kids. Most nights she’d study until 4:00 AM.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">Still, sometim, her sire would surface. She wanted to be wh a woman. But she’d shove down jt like she had for so many years.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">Fally, Sara graduated. She’d fulfilled her childhood dream. She was officially a psychologist. And she opened her own practice on Long Island, treatg mostly kids and teens om the ultra-Orthodox muny.</p></dd><dl class="css-1jysr6y"><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I got this ltle ttage set back om the Ma Street on Long Island and rated three separate play therapy rooms wh exprsive arts therapy and sand play therapy. And I brought this wonrful, wonrful team of sensive, warm child therapists and adult therapists. It was betiful jt to be able to do the work and to go every day and have young children and teenagers e and feel safe.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Did your clients e to you specifilly bee you were the muny wh them?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">And here’s where gets dicey.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">Some explicly did ask before signg up for therapy wh me, are you Orthodox? And at that time I did intify as Orthodox. And so I said y. And for some, was more implied by the way I drsed and the words that I knew how to speak.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">So they would be able to e words like “Shabbos,” which is observg the Sabbath om sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday. But they n jt weave to a sentence and I would know exactly what meant. And for others, was that I was seeg their children. And they wanted their children to have adults their liv who are posive role mols, who were like adherg to the same value system that the parents are tryg to teach at home.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Did you feel like a posive role mol?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I did until I didn’t. You know, I started to stggle once I divorced my send hband. And this was jt bee I was gay.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And I uldn’t do anymore. And so I chose to get divorced and moved to Manhattan and started to date women. And at that pot —</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">But you kept your practice on Long Island?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I kept my practice on Long Island and built a send one Manhattan. I don’t know if I felt like a posive role mol, you know? I felt like maybe a good therapist. But I was startg to worry about that other part.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Was your datg life now that you’re livg Manhattan and you’re divorced, was your datg life, seeg women, was that a secret?</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">From your face looks like a plited answer.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I really didn’t want to have to be a secret. But at the same time, wasn’t somethg I advertised. And what I stggled wh was this. I felt that was my job as the therapist to create this sanctuary for my clients and for them to be able to walk to my room and to know, ’s safe here.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">I don’t need to worry about you. That was sometim the only place they had where they didn’t have to take re of anybody else or worry about anybody else. And that was sacred to me. And so the stggle was, I know I’m changg some thgs. And I know my clients. So I know that the chang I’m makg will give them some pse.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">But now you don’t have that practice on Long Island anymore, rrect? It’s jt the Manhattan one? Tell me about what happened.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">OK. I’ve barely even spoken about this sce happened. So you’ll get to hear very raw. As I’m gog through this whole transn, I started to date someone. And I really, really liked her. And she’s sort of a mascule-prentg lbian.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And I was grapplg wh this stayg closeted vers g out. And so when she wanted to post some pictur of on her personal social media pag, even though I knew was a ltle risky, I was like so tired of beg closeted that I was like, you go, do that. Don’t tag me. Keep your page private. But let’s be proud this ltle area of your private social media page.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">Unfortunately, those pictur got leaked. One person saw them and then screenshot them. And muni like that, they have chats, WhatsApp chats Orthodox muni.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Mhm.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">So my picture went viral.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">On the Orthodox chats?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Y. So when I first heard this was happeng, I spoke wh my team. The were people I employed. And they had already known that I was changg.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And I said to them, if this be an issue for you guys, I will step down om my posn at the head of the practice. You know, if this blows up, I’m gog to jt duck out of the way and take all the fire so you guys n jt get away st-ee and ntue to build your reers.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Ugh.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Yeah.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I mean, I thk — I want you to keep — I thk that’s a genero thg to say to your staff. It’s good that you red for them so much. But also, even the language, “duck away,” “I’ll take the fire —”</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Yeah.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">— I mean, ’s pretty vlent language that you’re g. You know, ’s clear that you were preparg for a potential onslght.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I was. And when the picture got leaked, I started to get the phone lls at first om some clients. And they never said we have a problem wh you beg gay. But what they said was, let’s put all our ssns on hold for now, you know? Or they would say thgs like, we jt wish you had been thentic wh about who you are.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And they weren’t wrong to feel like a ltle b ceived. You know, I’m a feme-prentg lbian. So I have that privilege where I don’t have to — I didn’t have to change my appearance to feel te to who I was. They also met me beg married to a man, wearg a wig. And I look kd of the same, jt whout the wig. And, you know, I had given every imprsn that I was kd of still siar to the person they had known me to be when they met me.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Did you get any lls om clients themselv and not jt the parents of clients?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Y, but I had been the muny for several years. So there are some kids I had watched some grow up. Like, I had treated them om send gra to seventh gra or somethg like that.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">I knew when their teeth fell out. I helped them go on their first overnight sleepovers. And so there was one teenager, she reached out to me and said, the person I would normally talk to about this would be you and now I n’t even talk to you. And I jt don’t even know if I’ll ever tst anybody aga.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Oh my god. How did you rpond to that?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">I cried. That one really broke me. I didn’t say that to the child. I validated her feelgs. I apologized to her. I told her I unrstood and that I would talk wh her mom about how she uld move forward. Bee, aga, she was a child. I didn’t want to vlate the parents’ wish and engage too much this out-of-ssn munitn.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Did you eventually follow up on your promise to your staff and leave that practice?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Y. I had this one associate on my staff whom I had been workg wh for the longt. And she lled me. And she said, you know, ’s time.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And I remember drivg around Columb Circle. And I jt uldn’t remember how to get out of the circle. I was like drivg around and around and around, like tryg to stay ol on the phone. And pretty much overnight, had to shut that practice down.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And, actually, I do want to mentn, there were some clients who lled me and had different nversatns wh me. And they said, you’ve been our therapist for all the years. We know who you are.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And we hope you’re happy. And where is your new office? Bee we’re gog to take the tra. And we’ll be there.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">It sounds like you were beg so strong for the people around you, but, I mean, this is vastatg. How were you pg?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">The person I was datg at the time is now my wife. And she remembers jt holdg me through those nights. And I would jt sometim wake up shakg and cryg.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">It was jt all I wanted to do is be a safe person for those children and those teens. And then when I turned to the person who hurt them and who ed them pa, I really, really need her. And I was glad that she was there.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">You married the woman the photo?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Y, she is the most lovg, sweett person I uld ever have imaged endg up wh. And she and I actually have another child together. He’s 2 and 1/2 now. And he’s jt, like, the sweett.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">And your two kids have a baby brother?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Y, they do. They’re great wh him.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">How old are they now?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">They’re junrs high school.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Whoa.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">So our hoehold right now, we are — we’re dog llege tours.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Are you still touch wh anyone the Orthodox muny where you grew up?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">No.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Not at all?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">No, I’ll ocsnally have ltle bs of munitn wh my siblgs.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And ’s not that they cut me off or I cut them off. It’s jt that they live a world where havg a queer sister would be a problem for them.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Do you ever feel homick for that muny at all?</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Yeah, I do. They’re only like about 11 away om where we are right now. And I know that bee I’ve gone on to Google Maps and been like, how far is my sister om where I am and how crazy is that we’re livg such pletely different liv?</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">And there are many tim when I feel like I jt want to ll someone, you know, and jt say this great thg happened today. And I don’t have that many of those people. And sometim I’m jt like, you know, gefilte fish is this Jewish food. It’s like image takg whe fish, grdg , mixg wh flour, and bakg as a loaf. It’s not the bt.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">But I’ll be like, I jt want gefilte fish, you know? Like, once a while, I’ll buy a jar of . My fay is like, jt n you jt put that the back of the idge? But I’ll eat a piece jt to feel like that nnectn to home.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Sara, thank you so much for this nversatn.</p></dd><dt class="css-xx7kwh">sara glass</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Thank you for beg open to hearg all about the good, the bad, the difficult. I appreciate .</p></dd></dl><dt class="css-xx7kwh">anna mart</dt><dd class="css-4gvq6l"><p class="css-8hvvyd">Morn Love is back for a whole new season. Episos drop every week on Wednday. “Morn Love” is produced by Julia Botero, Christa Djossa, Elyssa Dudley and Hans Buetow. It’s eded by Sarah Sarasohn. This episo was mixed by Sophia Lanman and Corey Schreppel. And our show was rerd by Maddy Masiello.</p><p class="css-8hvvyd">The “Morn Love” theme mic is by Dan Powell. Digal productn by Mahima Chablani and Nell Gallogly. Special thanks to Anna Diamond at Audm. The Morn Love lumn is eded by Daniel Jon. Miya Lee is the edor of “Morn Love Projects.” I’m Anna Mart. Thanks for listeng.</p></dd></dl></div></div></div></div><div style="posn:absolute;width:0;height:0;visibily:hidn;display:none"></div><hear class="css-1vwfk9f" data-breakpot=""><div style="width:100%" data-ttid="flt-layout"><div style="background-image:url()" class="css-197zlhc e1llfg0"><div class="css-1hmsypo e1llfg2"><div class="css-131hid3 e1llfg3"><div class="css-1uhi299 e1llfg1"></div><div class="css-1tloyb6"><div class="css-ah35qo ehra6vc0"><a href=" class="css-2ne0py"><span class="css-1f76qa2"><img alt="Morn Love logo" src="><span>Morn Love</span></span></a><span class="css-17nzab0 ehra6vc1"><span class="css-sj5ozi ehra6vc2">Subscribe:</span><ul class="css-hx5n"><li><a href=" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Apple Podsts</a></li><li><a href=" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Rad Public</a></li></ul></span></div></div><div class="css-1r0dpua e1llfg4"><div class="css-wfiq9c edye5kn0"><div><h1 class="css-15oz550 edye5kn2">I Promised God It Was the Last Time</h1><h2 class="css-syyj5g edye5kn3">After years of supprsg her gay sir, an ultra-Orthodox Jewish woman reach her breakg pot.</h2></div><span class="css-xpptmx edye5kn4"></span><button type="button" class="css-w62hzm" aria-haspopup="te" aria-label="Show Aud Transcript"><div class="css-1vd84sn"><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 20" fill="#F8F8F8"><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M0 0H24V20H0V0ZM3 7H21V9H3V7ZM21 11H3V13H21V11ZM3 15H21V17H3V15ZM11 3H3V5H11V3Z" fill="#F8F8F8"></path></svg><span class="css-16bt4xd">Transcript</span></div></button></div><div class="css-1g7y0i5 e1drnplw0"><button tabx="100" class="css-1rtlxy" type="button" aria-label="close"><svg width="60" height="60" viewBox="0 0 60 60" fill="none"><circle cx="30" cy="30" r="30" fill="whe" fill-opacy="0.9"></circle><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M38.4844 20.1006L39.8986 21.5148L21.5138 39.8996L20.0996 38.4854L38.4844 20.1006Z" fill="black"></path><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M21.5156 20.1006L20.1014 21.5148L38.4862 39.8996L39.9004 38.4854L21.5156 20.1006Z" fill="black"></path></svg></button><div class="css-rdbib0 e1drnplw1"></div><div class="css-18ow4sz e1drnplw2"><div aria-labelledby="modal-tle" role="regn"><hear class="css-1bzlfz"><div class="css-mln36k" id="modal-tle">transcript</div><button type="button" class="css-1igvuto"><div class="css-f40pzg"></div><span>Back to Morn Love</span></button><div class="css-f6lhej" data-ttid="transcript-playback-ntrols"><div class="css-1ialerq"><button tabx="99" type="button" class="css-1t9gw" aria-label="play"><svg xmlns=" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none"><path fill-le="evenodd" clip-le="evenodd" d="M8 13.7683V6L14.5 9.88415L8 13.7683Z" fill="var(--lor-ntent-sendary,#363636)"></path><circle cx="10" cy="10" r="9.25" stroke="var(--lor-stroke-primary,#121212)" stroke-width="1.5"></circle></svg></button><div class="css-1701swk"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 40 36" id="el_0kpS9qL_S"><tle>bars

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