Miss Manners: Nosy women at retirement muny ask rint ‘are you gay?’ durg dner

Contents:

• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• GAY WATER, A NEW NNED CKTAIL, WANTS TO BE THE ANTI-BUD LIGHT
• A GAY COUPLE'S FIGHT FOR THEIR TW SON'S CIZENSHIP INSPIR
• JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ASSISTANT STRENGTH ACH KEV MAXEN OUT PUBLICLY AS GAY
• THUNR WAIVE RUDY GAY
• WHY A SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY OF GAY MEN?
• MISS MANNERS: NOSY WOMEN AT RETIREMENT MUNY ASK RINT ‘ARE YOU GAY?’ DURG DNER
• ARE HOMOPHOB REALLY GAY?
• WHY WOULD PEOPLE 'CHOOSE' TO BE GAY?
• PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
• GAY AND LBIAN WELL-BEG
• THE PSYCHOLOGY OF GAY MEN'S CUCKOLDG FANTASI
• APA REARCHER EXPLOS MYTH: GAYS AREN’T ‘BORN THAT WAY’
• MARK CHANEY-GAY
• GAY ROMANCE WH TWISTED LOVE (M/M)
• STIGMA EXPERIENC, MENTAL HEALTH, PERCEIVED PARENTG COMPETENCE, AND PARENT–CHILD RELATNSHIPS AMONG LBIAN, GAY, AND HETEROSEXUAL ADOPTIVE PARENTS THE UNED STAT
• THE SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY OF GAY MEN

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

Gay Water might not have the ep pockets pared to s petors, like Whe Claw, but “even at small sle, pani of many siz are havg succs makg spir-based seltzers and premixed cktails, ” Bryan Roth, an analyst for Feel Goods Company and edor of the alhol beverage newsletter, Sightl+, told CNN. “There’s lots of space the spir-based seltzer tegory which Gay Water n play, pecially if the brand n offer a cultural or emotnal nnectn that will feel more excg than the prospect of another peapple-flavored vodka seltzer om natnal or ternatnal rporatns, ” Roth said. The mothers were then classified further to one of five groups: those wh gay male only-children (n = 8), those wh gay male offsprg that had no olr brothers (n = 23), those wh gay male offsprg wh olr brothers (n = 23), those wh heterosexual male only-children (n = 11), and those wh heterosexual male offsprg wh siblgs (n = 61).

GAY WATER, A NEW NNED CKTAIL, WANTS TO BE THE ANTI-BUD LIGHT

As birth weight tends to crease over succsive pregnanci, the parisons were limed to first live-born sons only (n = 63); this left 4 gay male only-children, 7 gay mal wh no olr brothers, 14 heterosexual mal wh gay younger brothers, 10 heterosexual male only-children, and 28 heterosexual mal wh siblgs. Skorska et al (2016) pos that this might have somethg to do wh some mothers showg a greater immune rponse agast male offsprg, rultg more fetal loss, the rult beg that such mothers are both ls likely to have any children at all and more likely to have gay male children particular. If mothers of gay men do not tend to have a greater rat of female-to-male offsprg, this would st some doubt on the explanatn (and, sce the only data I've heard reports that gay men tend to have more olr brothers, seems they would have noticed the sister pot by now if existed).

On the other hand, if this is a more general immune reactn agast fetal bodi, regardls of their sex, we would not expect such a pattern ( might also predict that mothers takg immunosupprsants would be ls likely to have gay offsprg/misrry, but thgs are unlikely to be that simple owg to the fact that other effects would rult too). Homosexual men are famoly promiscuo, a fact that beme well-known wh the onset of AIDS, when studi of gay men who were HIV-posive revealed average numbers of partners the hundreds (and even though gay men who were HIV negative had much lower numbers, the average for them was still dramatilly higher than the average numbers for heterosexual men). Homosexual men are cled toward promiscuy, attracted to youth and good looks, and unrg about stat—hence many of the sexual swch homosexual men are set the same posn as they are heterosexual men—if gay guys were straight, their preferenc would lead them to pick fertile femal.

Those who nsir beg gay a disadvantage life (which still is, certa societi), might regard gay people differently if they knew that beg gay was an hered tra, rather than a nsequence of life events, such as a particular type of upbrgg, or mixg wh certa sorts of iends or even a liberate cisn. Heterosexualy (attractn to members of the oppose sex), homosexualy (attractn to members of the same sex), and bisexualy (attractn to members of both sex) are the three most monly discsed tegori of sexual orientatn, although they are by no means the only on the world of sexual intifitn.

A GAY COUPLE'S FIGHT FOR THEIR TW SON'S CIZENSHIP INSPIR

Lol NewsMIAMI – The diplomatic ti between the Uned Stat and Jamai uld soon be jeopardy.There are reports that Jamai is refg to accred the spoe of a gay Amerin diplomat.“Our culture is not really acceptg of ,” said Renae Stevens, who was visg the Jamain nsulate Miami Wednday.Attorney Wayne Goldg is an advisor to Jamai’s ernment.“The whole ia of legislatn to legalize same-sex marriag, I thk they still have a long way to go,” he said. Dpe the persistence of stereotyp that portray lbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several s of rearch and clil experience have led all mastream medil and mental health anizatns this untry to nclu that the orientatns reprent normal forms of human experience. Helpful rpons of a therapist treatg an dividual who is troubled about her or his same sex attractns clu helpg that person actively pe wh social prejudic agast homosexualy, succsfully rolve issu associated wh and rultg om ternal nflicts, and actively lead a happy and satisfyg life.

The phrase “g out” is ed to refer to several aspects of lbian, gay, and bisexual persons’ experienc: self-awarens of same-sex attractns; the tellg of one or a few people about the attractns; wispread disclosure of same-sex attractns; and intifitn wh the lbian, gay, and bisexual muny.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ASSISTANT STRENGTH ACH KEV MAXEN OUT PUBLICLY AS GAY

If they are a heterosexual relatnship, their experienc may be que siar to those of people who intify as heterosexual unls they choose to e out as bisexual; that se, they will likely face some of the same prejudice and discrimatn that lbian and gay dividuals enunter.

Add this anecdote to several others cludg that of right wg polician Larry Craig, who pled guilty to lewd behavr toward other men an airport bathroom but who also champned anti-gay legislatn durg his polil reer, and Ted Haggard, lear of the famoly anti-gay Natnal Associatn of the Evangelils, who rigned after was disvered he was engagg male prostut. Homosexual members of society n unfortunately expect to regularly be challenged, sctised and nmned by belligerent type who are seemgly nvced that homosexualy is a “liftyle choice” issue has e up aga (for what is possibly the 12, 456, 987, 332nd time) for several reasons.

Normally heterosexual characters sudnly displayg homosexual leangs when a boost viewg figur are need is a mon trope the days, so you n sort of see how this might make some people thk ’s a “choice”, if they lack more realistic sayg that sexualy is set stone om birth is also not que right, the ma emphasis of those g the choice argument is that homosexuals have weighed up their optns and nscly cid “I am gog to be gay om now on”. Comedian Todd Glass mak a brilliant pot his book (which is great, I got for Christmas), which is that if you genuely believe sexualy is a choice, then you’re not actually straight, you jt haven’t met anyone persuasive enough those who argue that homosexualy is a choice variably assert that is a wrong choice. Bee there is a arth of general rearch regardg this muny, and no studi to date that e quantative methods, we cid to explore this muny quantatively—g an Inter-nvenience sample, followed by a purposive suggted, the Bear culture exhibs and valu a greater sense of domant (but not necsarily domeerg) “thentic masculy” parison to other subcultur wh the gay muny (e.

THUNR WAIVE RUDY GAY

G., uratn, fistg, voyrism, exhibnism) (Grov, Parsons, & Bimbi, 2010) to the active existence of the Bear muny and regnn of this subculture by the larger gay/bisexual male culture, more rearch is need to explore the gree to which the prevly mentned physil, behavral, and psychologil differenc actually exist. Consirg the likely prevalence of a Bear inty may be held (wh varyg tenaci) by about 14–22% of gay men, the rults provi addnal evince for the manift and latent heterogeney of gay and bisexual rults regardg body tras and partner selectn nfirm, for the first time a systematic manner, fdgs documented prev terview and ethnographic studi. A study that answers the rearch qutns would provi further evince to support the heterogeney hypothis: Not only is the mastream gay muny culturally heterogeneo, but so are the sexual health behavrs and problems wh last suggtn for future rearch would be to tt some of the theori generated by the current data.

WHY A SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY OF GAY MEN?

It is somewhat difficult to get a read on how wispread or succsful the prophylactic e of HIV treatment meditns is, but the movement of HIV preventn this directn as well as the hostile reactn by some, is revealg what is says about gay men and our general attus about sexualy. Consirg that the Catholic Church, nservative Jews and many fundamentalist Christians have been the most outspoken opponents of gay rights, is perhaps not surprisg that LGB people and their fai intify relign as a major obstacle acceptg homosexualy, eher themselv or a fay member.

Clil prentatns of closeted gay people may lie somewhere severy between selective attentn--most monly seen the se of homosexually self-aware patients thkg about "the possibily" that they might be gay--to more severe dissociatn-- which any ht of same-sex feelgs ris totally out of nsc awarens. More severe forms of dissociatn are monly observed married men who are homosexually self-aware but nnot perm the thought of themselv as gay (Roughton, 2002) and the ClosetSome closeted gay people n reflexively speak whout revealg the genr of the person beg discsed or whout providg any genred tails of their personal liv.

MISS MANNERS: NOSY WOMEN AT RETIREMENT MUNY ASK RINT ‘ARE YOU GAY?’ DURG DNER

Transparency, visibily, losg one's voice, and beg stuck behd walls or other barriers are some of the terms ed to scribe the subjective experience of dissociative tachment (Drcher, 1998) Closet and Gay-BashgFor some gay men, "Hidg and passg as heterosexual be a lifelong moral hatred of the self; a maze of rptns, petty li, and half tths that spoil social relatns fay and iendship" (Herdt and Boxer, 1993). “Sexualy sire is fluid, homosexual sire is not ‘hard-wired;’ that ‘born that way and n’t change’ is a myth; feelgs don’t overle voln (behavr is a choice, one do not need to act on every feelg — pecially sexual feelgs); the ‘born that way’ argument is polil, not scientific; sexual orientatn is subject to change among others. Commenter Hieromonk Mark noted that this revelatn “has very ser implitns for the polil actns of recent years, basilly validatg any appeals to science to jtify recent legislatn areas of sexualy such as the regnn of ‘gay’ marriage, the imposn of rtroom accs based upon dividuals’ self-intifitn or ‘feelgs’ about their sex and the rtrictn of the eedom of choice of theraptic optns, pecially for mors, the areas of unwanted same-sex attractn or sexual nfn or dysphoria.

While many well-meang, progrsive, heterosexual psychotherapists claim to work wh LGBT and/or HIV issu, or even gay male therapists who are not specialists, n provi valuable service, workg wh me giv you the add benef of workg wh someone who is a long-term specialist who actually liv wh the muni as a part of them. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis's h song Same Love, which has bee an unofficial anthem of the pro-gay marriage mpaign the US, reflects how many gay people feel about their mocks those who "thk 's a cisn, and you n be cured wh some treatment and relign - man-ma rewirg of a predisposn". That hypothis has led Vasey to speculate that the gay men who intify as men and have mascule tras - that is to say, most gay men the Wt - are scend om men who had a cross-genred people do have childrenImage source, Getty ImagImage ptn, Elton John and David Furnish have had two children wh a surrogate mother, although the inty of the blogil father is secretIn the US, around 37% of lbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual people have a child, about 60% of which are blogil.

Acrdg to the Williams Instute, gay upl that have children have an average of figur may not be high enough to sta geic tras specific to this group, but the evolutnary blogist Jeremy Yor pots out a blog post that for much of morn history gay people haven't been livg openly gay liv. From fay and mory strs perspectiv, is not surprisg that ntextual effects om both adoptn stigma and homophobia n negatively affect parents’ mental health (Battle and Ashley, 2008; Frost and Meyer, 2009; Boss et al., 2016; Calzo et al., 2019; Goldberg et al., 2019). Although rearch regardg microaggrsns experienced by sexual and genr mory persons is advancg (Fisher et al., 2019; Nadal, 2019), homophobic microaggrsns and their possible associatns wh dividual and fay out have not been specifilly examed (to our knowledge) among a sample of LG parents, let alone LG adoptive parents.

ARE HOMOPHOB REALLY GAY?

In terms of unrstandg associatns between dividual adjtment and homonegative microaggrsns particular, rearch has monstrated that is important to clu nsiratn of past and current experienc, as well as perceptns of their impact (and how this teracts wh past or current experienc; Wright and Wegner, 2012). Among a sample of approximately 100 adoptive fai head by lbian, gay, and heterosexual parents, we explored associatns at two pots (about 5 years apart; when children were prchool-age and school-age, rpectively) among parent mental health symptoms, perceived parentg petence, perceived adoptn stigma, homonegative microaggrsns, and qualy of parent–child relatnships. The send aim was to vtigate associatns across time among parent mental health symptoms and perceived parentg petence, both asssed when children were prchool, wh experienc of adoptn stigma, homonegative microaggrsns, and parent–child relatnship qualy, all evaluated 5 years later.

WHY WOULD PEOPLE 'CHOOSE' TO BE GAY?

Based on our theoretil ameworks of fay and mory strs as well as some relevant existg rearch regardg sexual stigma and homonegative microaggrsns as related to LG dividual and parent out (Goldberg et al., 2011, 2019; Tornello et al., 2011; Wright and Wegner, 2012; Carone et al., 2017; Green et al., 2019), we also anticipated that greater mental health symptoms and lower petence, rpectively, would be associated wh more microaggrsns. Aligned wh some rearch ditg associatns between greater sexual stigma, fay strs, and child out (Bos and Gartrell, 2010; Vyncke et al., 2014; Crouch et al., 2017; Carone et al., 2018; Calzo et al., 2019), we also expected that homonegative microaggrsns experienced by LG parents would predict reports of lower parent–child relatnship qualy (acuntg for parent mental health symptoms, petence, and adoptn stigma) among their children. Prelimary analys were also nducted to explore the role of possible variat analys for all variabl of tert (parent mental health symptoms, perceived parentg petence, perceived adoptn stigma, homonegative microaggrsn experienc, and children’s perceptns of parent–child relatnship qualy).

It is important, however, to nsir that gay fathers may experience addnal stigma related to the tersectn of their genr and sexual inty durg the transn to parenthood when pared to lbian mothers given the cultural importance placed on motherhood and general valuatn of fatherhood (e.

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

Dpe prev work ditg that gay men may hold lower levels of perceived parentg efficy bee of ntextual factors such as homonegative microaggrsns and the stigma related to fatherhood broadly (Armto, 2002; Robson and Brewster, 2014), the gay fathers our sample did not report signifintly lower levels of perceived parentg petence than any other group. Although they did fd some ial differenc wh lbian and heterosexual women reportg greater petence than gay and heterosexual men prr to the adoptive placement of their child, by 3 months post-placement, gay fathers particular were characterized by the greatt creas perceived petence as pared to the other parent groups.

Addnally, most of the adoptive parents this sample lived urban areas and therefore may have greater accs to LG-affirmg servic (Kkler and Goldberg, 2011; Goldberg et al., 2013), which may expla why no signifint differenc emerged stigma or homonegative microaggrsns by ast (East vers Wt) or urbanicy (ral vers urban). Intertgly, however, greater mental health symptoms were associated wh lower perceived parentg petence at both wav, which is nsistent wh earlier rearch wh adoptive lbian, gay, and heterosexual parent fai (Goldberg and Smh, 2009) and pots to unrlyg nnectns between dividual adjtment and parentg experienc that uld have important ramifitns for children’s velopment. It is possible that LG parents who are experiencg current homonegative microaggrsns are also experiencg greater strs and emotnal dysregulatn as a rult, which uld terfere wh the qualy of parents’ relatnships wh their children; ed, Hatzenbuehler (2009) scrib how terpersonal relatnships are one doma which mory strs may have negative nsequenc through the effects of rultg psychologil distrs, gnive load, and physlogil strs.

GAY AND LBIAN WELL-BEG

Taken together, our fdgs dite the value of examg unique ntributns of LG-specific procs, such as the role of discrimatn and sexual stigma ( this se, parents’ homonegative microaggrsn experienc) to fay out ( this se, qualy of parent–child relatnships reported by children). Wh specific regard to policy implitns, there are currently 11 US stat wh “relig eedom” or “relig exemptn” laws that create barriers to fosterg and adoptn for lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer (LGBTQ) prospective or current parents (as well as for LGBTQ children and youth the foster re system awag placement; Movement Advancement Project, 2020).

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF GAY MEN'S CUCKOLDG FANTASI

There is clearly some sense of beg able to “pass” (Goffman, 1963) here, wh the puppy gear allowg people to exprs how they feel they are “si” rather than feelg bound by expectatns around age appropriate my pup stuff on back at my apartment bee I’ve never liked people seeg me change, thk spoils the effect, if they only ever see the pup then that’s what they remember, even more important now I’m 62, gays are very ageist…I’m slightly sad bee I never thk of myself as 62 and never act , but my age is what I’m judged and nmned for, on sight. The relatnships and muny arrangements scribed this study are ak to the “fai of choice” that figured so centrally lbian, gay and bisexual muny velopment and history (Wton, 1991), and which are arguably experiencg some cle wh the growth of acceptance toward more normative fay mols (Langdridge, 2013; Lew, 2009). It do appear that puppy play remas a form of leisure sex at prent (Wignall & McCormack, 2017), and one that is predomantly whe and gay, albe wh some evince of a growg tert om RearchFuture rearch on this topic will need to addrs the samplg limatns discsed above for this study and also that of Wignall and McCormack (2017).

APA REARCHER EXPLOS MYTH: GAYS AREN’T ‘BORN THAT WAY’

Some of our listeners might not really be aware of how psychiatry was pelled to remove homosexualy om the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual of Mental Disorrs, which is pretty much the arber of what nstut a mental illns or a mental disorr among all behavral health practners.

MARK CHANEY-GAY

He thought, "If I go outsi of the ci, and I go outsi of the ltle ty ltle secret gay enclav, then I'm gog to fd the people who are very different om each other, and 's gog to challenge this stereotype about what the signs of homosexualy are, " which were thgs like genr versn, or artistic terts for men, or thgs like that.

I thk what Hooker did is, she took that sort of scientific lens that had always been sort of lookg at gay people and assumg there was a difference between gay and straight people, and g that difference whether was real or purported, to kd of build a fic mol and build a diagnosis, and build a mental health story.

GAY ROMANCE WH TWISTED LOVE (M/M)

But I thk, once that happened, and once HIV/AIDS beme a way for psychologists and for psychology the Uned Stat, to have a more productive relatnship wh thgs like the NIMH, fundg streams, and so on, I thk took some ias that gay and lbian people were jt people, that were kd of a ltle b margal, they were que margal the 1970s. Mills: I want to wrap up wh a qutn that tak back to your book for a moment, bee you end by wrg that 's important for all psychologists to have some knowledge of the recent history of LGBT psychology and that the field offers somethg of what you ll generalizable efulns beyond gay men and lbians to whom ially applied.

Elia, Associate Dean & Profsor of Health Edutn, San Francis State Universy, USA, Edor--Chief, Journal of Homosexualy)“In this expansive book, Ri Jaspal has given an -pth and sightful acunt of var signifint aspects of gay men’s life: inty velopment, relatnship nstctn, sexual behavur, management of prejudice and stigma, as well as mental and sexual health challeng.

STIGMA EXPERIENC, MENTAL HEALTH, PERCEIVED PARENTG COMPETENCE, AND PARENT–CHILD RELATNSHIPS AMONG LBIAN, GAY, AND HETEROSEXUAL ADOPTIVE PARENTS THE UNED STAT

Drawg creatively om inty procs theory and social reprentatns theory, Jaspal’s meticulo analysis of the social and psychologil challeng gay men face – and the impacts on their mental and sexual health – serv as an urgent and persuasive ll for ntued progrsive actn, spe the advancement of gay rights recent s.

THE SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY OF GAY MEN