When Your Child Is Gay | Psychology Today

Contents:

• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• SEND HUNTER BIN IRS WHISTLEBLOWER INTIFIED AS GAY DEMOCRAT
• ITALY BEGS REMOVG GAY MOTHERS OM CHILDREN’S BIRTH CERTIFIT
• ACTIVISTS NMN VLENCE AGAST LGBTQ MUNY ST. VCENT, WHERE GAY SEX IS ILLEGAL
• BENGAY CHILDREN'S OTMENT - US, SI EFFECTS, AND MORE
• WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
• WHAT'S LIFE LIKE FOR GAY KIDS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS?
• STARS WHO HAVE GAY CHILDREN
• 10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED
• THE 50 BT GAY SONGS TO CELEBRATE PRI ALL YEAR LONG

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

Ma characters they are not, but we love to see LGBTQ+ fai and, hontly, we didn’t realize how much we were missg gay zebras until Chip and Potato, rated TV-Y, on Ltle Pony: Friendship Is MagicSotaloo is raised by a lbian uple, Aunt Holiday and Auntie KenneyMy Ltle Pony: Friendship Is Magic follows the adventur of unirns, pegasi, and poni throughout Equtria, where they solve problems and, ocsnally, battle the forc of darkns, cludg the Cutie Mark Csars, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Sotaloo. While there are some mor gay characters on the show, ma character Jeff is beg raised by two moms, EJ (voiced by Lea DeLaria) and Sue (voiced by Tig Notaro) one pot the seri had unnamed gay characters kissg (the b is funny, though the edy isn't their kiss). ”Stream Twelve Forever, rated TV-PG, on FayMchell and Cam were among the first proment gay parents a KenneyWhen Morn Fay premiered 2009, Cam and Mchell were among the few gay ma characters on a work s (and, let’s be hont: ’s still not mon).

WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?

A new study nducted by rearchers at Gee Washgton Universy found that most parents of lbian, gay, and bisexual youth have difficulty adjtg after their kids e study says is one of the first to systematilly exame the experience of parents raisg lbian, gay and bisexual children. ”The study found that Ain Amerin and Lato parents have a harr time acceptg their lbian, gay and bisexual children, as do the parents of children who e out at a later study, which surveyed a much larger sample size than prev studi, nfirmed smaller studi that showed parents’ negative reactns tend to ease over time; the first two years are the harst for were no signifint differenc reactns between mother and father, the age of the parent, or the genr of the child.

So on the basis of some earlier, shakier rearch, along wh a good dose of mon sense, Bailey and Zucker hypothized that homosexuals would show an verted pattern of sex-typed childhood behavrs—ltle boys preferrg girls as playmat and beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls strangely enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg—that sort of thg. Although only 12 percent of the women grew up to be genr dysphoric (the unfortable sense that your blogil sex do not match your genr), the odds of the women reportg a bisexual or homosexual orientatn were up to 23 tim higher than would occur a general sample of young women. Cross-cultural data show that prehomosexual boys are more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer; they are also ls likely to be childhood bulli.

Bee the data often reveal very early emergg tras prehomosexuals, children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy, whereas gay adults who were sex-typil as children might trace their homosexualy more directly to particular childhood experienc. Lang, Elton John and Rachel Maddow's close relativ, but I n only image that the straight k are far better off terms of their own reproductive opportuni than they would be whout a homosexual danglg so magnificently on their fay tre.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

- The world's first fe art photography magaze dited to queer and gay 2 - the Pri Issue featur ten photographers om ne untri: AY (UK), David Charl Colls (Atralia), Matthew Fley (USA), Ashish Gupta (India), Manuel Monyo (Mexi), Juan Anton Papagni Me (Argenta), Sebastian Perotti (Argenta), Mric A. "As a gay man who grew up wh no visible role mols of gay relatnships my muny or entertament ntent, I am grateful that this reprentatn is happeng on Nickeloon, moved by the difference that is surely makg the mds and hearts of children, and grateful to have been a part of this slow but important change, " Dickie told PRIDE. The clichés of this childhood ntrariety are well known: Gay boys, sometim adoptg an effemate ga and an ironic manner, shy away om r play wh their genr peers; lbian girls, throwg on baggy cloth and hard hats, are ever ready for a physil ay.

SEND HUNTER BIN IRS WHISTLEBLOWER INTIFIED AS GAY DEMOCRAT

After another preteen boy performed drag Oh, state Republins proposed legislatn barrg the performanc, lkg them, whout evince, to child time, Amerin society has been steadily makg peace wh gay adults, gay marriag, even gay polil ndidat. Numero studi have shown that children who eventually e out as gay, lbian, or bisexual—scientists ll them pre-homosexual, or pre-GLB kids—monstrate more childhood genr nonnformy their speech, body language, and choice of activy than their pre-straight ntemporari do. Not surprisgly, therefore, boys naturally select other boys for playmat, and girls would much rather play wh other girls than wh on the basis of some earlier, shakier rearch, along wh a good dose of mon sense, Bailey and Zucker hypothized that homosexuals would show an verted pattern of sex-typed childhood behavrs (ltle boys preferrg girls as playmat and fatuated wh their mothers’ make-up ks; ltle girls strangely enamoured by field hockey or profsnal wrtlg…that sort of thg).

ITALY BEGS REMOVG GAY MOTHERS OM CHILDREN’S BIRTH CERTIFIT

First, given that only about 10 percent of the populatn is homosexual, a rather large number of prehomosexuals are need to obta a sufficient sample size of eventually gay adults, and this would require a huge oversamplg of children jt se some turn out gay. In their 1995 report, Bailey and Kenh Zucker revealed that, retrospective studi (the send method ed to exame the relatn between childhood behavr and adult sexual orientatn, which adults simply answer qutns about their childhoods) 89 percent of randomly sampled gay men relled cross-sex-typed childhood behavrs exceedg the heterosexual median. Some crics have qutned the general retrospective approach, argug that participants’ memori (both those of gay and straight dividuals) may be distorted to f wh societal expectatns and stereotyp about what gays and straights are like as children.

ACTIVISTS NMN VLENCE AGAST LGBTQ MUNY ST. VCENT, WHERE GAY SEX IS ILLEGAL

There is also evince of a “dosage effect”: the more genr nonnformg characteristics there are childhood, the more likely is that a homosexual/bisexual orientatn will be prent —and I know you’ve been wag for me to say this—there are several very important veats to this body of work. But I also wasn’t an overly effemate child, was never bullied as a “sissy, ” and by the time I was ten I was distguishably as annoyg, unuth and wired as my close male fact, by thirteen, I was already eply socialized to mascule social norms; this se, I took to middle school wrtlg as a rather scrawny eighty-pound eighth grar, and so dog I ironilly beme all too nsc ed of my homosexual orientatn. Intrigugly, cross-cultural data published by Fernando Luiz Cardoso of Santa Catara State Universy a 2008 issue of Archiv of Sexual Behavr showed that young prehomosexual mal are attracted to solary sports, such as swimmg, cyclg, or tennis, over rougher ntact sports, such as football or soccer—and also that they are ls likely to be childhood bulli.

Sce the prospective and retrospective data discsed the foregog studi often reveal very early emergg tras prehomosexuals, however, those children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have “more” of a geic loadg to their homosexualy, whereas gay adults who were sex-typil as children might trace their homosexualy more directly to particular childhood experienc.

BENGAY CHILDREN'S OTMENT - US, SI EFFECTS, AND MORE

For example, a rather stunng se of what I’ll ll “say--isn’t-so science”—science that produc data that rebel agast popular, polilly rrect, or emotnally appealg sentiments—ntroversial new fdgs published earlier this year the Archiv of Sexual Behavr ht trigugly that men—but not women—who were sexually abed as children are signifintly more likely than non-abed mal to have had homosexual relatnships as adults.

In fact impli que the oppose, sce prepubertal erotic experienc n later nsolidate to irreversible sexual orientatns and preferenc, as I discsed a prev piece on the childhood origs of fetish and is fashnable the days to say that one is “born gay, ” of urse, but if we thk about a b more crilly, ’s a b odd, and probably nonsensil, to refer to a newborn fant, swaddled blankets and still sucklg on s mother’s teats, as beg homosexual. And I would image, on a viable hunch, that even today’s most liberally-md muni, g out of the closet to parents is a much easier thg to do for gay dividuals who have the luxury of monstrably straight siblgs who n rry their own reproductive weight. In any event, I thk ’s far better for parents to regnize the source of their ncerns about havg a gay child as beg motivated by unnsc geic terts than is to have them fibbg to themselv about beg entirely different to their son or dghter “turng out”, bear this md parents, ’s also important to strs that sce geic succs is weighed evolutnary blogil terms as the relative percentage of one’s gen that rry over to subsequent generatns—rather than simply number of offsprg per se—there are other, though typilly ls profable, ways for your child to ntribute to your overall geic succs than humdm sexual reproductn.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

Lang, Elton John and Rachel Maddow’s close relativ, but I n only image that the straight k are far better off terms of their own reproductive opportuni than they would be whout a homosexual danglg so magnificently on their fay tre.

So here’s my msage: Cultivate your ltle prehomosexual’s native talents and your ultimate geic payoff uld, strangely enough, be even larger wh one very special gay child than would if ten medcre straight offsprg leapt om your ’s one fal thg to note, and that’s reference to the future of this rearch and s real-world applitns.

For ee real time breakg news alerts sent straight to your box sign up to our breakg news emailsSign up to our ee breakg news emailsItaly has begun removg the nam of gay mothers om their children’s birth certifit, as part of the right-wg ernment’s crackdown on same-sex move after populist prime mister Grgia Meloni’s aln announced March that state agenci should no longer register the children of same-sex upl, a move that sparked protts Milan. I fely didn't explore the possibily of fdg other gay kids my you spect or know that your child is gay, tst me — they're feelg the same way I glued to the ground, they're immobilized by any tth to the possibily that there are other gay kids like them.

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

Whether they e right out and tell you, "I'm gay", or they play nial dodgeball, your bt approach is to empathize wh them, validate their feelgs and reassure them they're not the only gay kids their school, social circl, church, cy, state, etc.. If you haven't e to terms wh your own beliefs about homosexualy, then be hont wh the gay kids your life and let them know you're still tryg to sort out how you feel about homosexualy — not how you feel about kids n be fense driven. (Photo by Tabatha Fireman/Getty Imag)JACK GUEZ via Getty ImagAn Israeli girl ss on a relative's shoulrs wavg the rabow flag, the ternatnal symbol of gay pri, durg the annual Gay Pri para along the streets of Tel Aviv on June 6, 2008.

This year is no different, om a Mississippi unty school board banng 18-year-old Constance McMillan, who wanted to wear a tux and brg her girliend, to the Miami gay senr who was crowned prom queen -only to be disowned by his own fay. COX: One of the areas that has been an issue the gay, lbian, transgenr muny, as far as public schools are ncerned, is whether or not to tegrate the stunts to the mastream populatn or to some way segregate them, even if is jt for their safety.

WHAT'S LIFE LIKE FOR GAY KIDS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS?

COX: Is possible, Judy, to tablish wh a school settg, let's say, a program that will benef stunts who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr - not discrimate agast them but at the same time, allow them to have the fort of beg an area where they n feel fortable? Those are the clear non-discrimatn and anti-bullyg, anti-harassment polici that explicly clu sexual orientatn and genr exprsn and genr inty as among those tegori of protectn; havg supportive faculty and school staff available to young people to help them when issu arise; the prence of stunt clubs, monly known as gay-straight allianc, or GSAs, and other stunt advocy to improve school climate; and the prence of clive curricular elements that accurately and appropriately pict LGBT people, history and life.

I thk Judy embodi what I thk is bt all people who go to tn, but I do have to pot out that there are ser stutnal barriers across the untry for teachers, gay or straight, who wish to reach out and help stunts who are havg a hard time.

STARS WHO HAVE GAY CHILDREN

Stunts we asked - a natnal sample of sendary school stunts, middle and high school, the - gay and straight - about the most equent bas for bullyg and harassment their schools, and the top three that were listed were physil appearance and body size, actual or perceived sexual orientatn, and whether a stunt was perceived to be, quote-unquote, mascule or feme enough. Acrdg to stats rived om polls nducted or missned by groups like the Pew Rearch Center and the Human Rights Campaign, ne out of 10 adults the Uned Stat say that they know somebody who is gay, and more than a third of the populatn say they personally know someone who's trans.

Ever sce born-aga sger and orange juice pchwoman Ana Bryant helped kick off the ntemporary anti-gay movement some 40 years ago, hard-le elements of the relig right have been searchg for ways to monize gay people — or, at a mimum, to fd arguments that will prevent their normalizatn society. But addn to hawkg that myth, the legns of anti-gay activists who followed have add a panoply of others, rangg om the extremely doubtful claim that sexual orientatn is a choice, to unalloyed li like the claims that gay men molt children far more than heterosexuals or that hate crime laws will lead to the legalizatn of btialy and necrophilia.

Depictg gay men as a threat to children may be the sgle most potent weapon for stokg public fears about homosexualy — and for wng electns and referenda, as Ana Bryant found out durg her succsful 1977 mpaign to overturn a Da County, Fla., ordance barrg discrimatn agast gay people. Others have ced a group lled the Amerin College of Pediatricians (ACPeds) to claim, as Tony Perks of the Fay Rearch Council did November 2010, that "the rearch is overwhelmg that homosexualy pos a [moltatn] danger to children.

10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED

Gregory Herek, a profsor at the Universy of California, Davis, who is one of the natn's leadg rearchers on prejudice agast sexual mori, reviewed a seri of studi and found no evince that gay men molt children at higher rat than heterosexual men. The Amerin Amy of Child & Adolcent Psychiatry affirmed 2013 that “[c]urrent rearch shows that children wh gay and lbian parents do not differ om children wh heterosexual parents their emotnal velopment or their relatnships wh peers and adults” and they are “not more likely than children of heterosexual parents to velop emotnal or behavral problems. The Amerin Amy of Pediatrics (AAP) a 2002 policy statement clared: "A growg body of scientific lerature monstrat that children who grow up wh one or two gay and/or lbian parents fare as well emotnal, gnive, social, and sexual functng as do children whose parents are heterosexual.

The Amerin Psychiatric Associatn noted a 2000 fact sheet available on the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists, that alg wh gay, lbian and bisexual issu, that sexual abe do not appear to be any more prevalent among children who grow up and intify as gay, lbian or bisexual than children who grow up and intify as heterosexual.

Siarly, the Natnal Organizatn on Male Sexual Victimizatn not on s webse that "experts the human sexualy field do not believe that premature sexual experienc play a signifint role late adolcent or adult sexual orientatn" and add that 's unlikely that anyone n make another person gay or heterosexual. Anti-LGBT anizatns, seekg to promote heterosexualy as the healthier "choice, " often offer up the purportedly shorter life spans and poorer physil and mental health of gays and lbians as reasons why they shouldn't be allowed to adopt or foster children. On the basis of the same obuari, Cameron also claimed that gay men are 18 tim more likely to die r accints than heterosexuals, 22 tim more likely to die of heart attacks than wh, and 11 tim more likely than blacks to die of the same e.

THE 50 BT GAY SONGS TO CELEBRATE PRI ALL YEAR LONG

Anti-LGBT anizatns have also tried to support this claim by distortg the work of legimate scholars, like a 1997 study nducted by a Canadian team of rearchers that alt wh gay and bisexual men livg Vanuver the late 1980s and early 1990s.

Anti-gay activists, who have long opposed addg LGBT people to those protected by hate crime legislatn, have repeatedly claimed that such laws would lead to the jailg of relig figur who preach agast homosexualy — part of a bid to ga the backg of the broar relig muny for their posn. Anti-gay groups have been adamantly opposed to allowg gay men and lbians to serve openly the armed forc, not only bee of their purported fear that bat reads will be unrmed, but bee the ary has long been nsired the purt merocracy Ameri (the armed forc were succsfully racially tegrated long before Amerin civil society, for example).

At the same time, gays and lbians have served openly for years the armed forc of 25 untri (as of 2010), cludg Bra, Israel, South Ai, Canada and Atralia, acrdg to a report released by the Palm Center, a policy thk tank at the Universy of California at Santa Barbara. Dpe the fact that gay men and lbians have been servg openly the ary sce September 2011, anti-LGBT groups ntue to claim that openly gay personnel are g problems the ary, cludg claims of sexual abe by gay and lbian soldiers of straight soldiers. Though is te that LGBT people tend to suffer higher rat of anxiety, prsn, and prsn-related illns and behavrs like alhol and dg abe than the general populatn, that is due to the historil social stigmatizatn of homosexualy and vlence directed at LGBT people, not bee of homosexualy self.