What to Do When Your Child Says: "I'm Gay" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• PRAYERS FOR GAY PEOPLE
• GAY, PRAY AND STAY OK
• PRAYER: PRAY IN THE GAY
• NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' LOOKS BEHD THE CURTA OF THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT
• NEW BIN MANDATE: GAY PRAY 5 TIM A DAY, FACG SAN FRANCIS
• GAY THE PRAY AWAY: HEALG YOUR LIFE, LOVE, AND RELATNSHIPS OM THE HARMS OF LGBT CONVERSN THERAPY KDLE EDN
• GAY FOR PRAY: THE EROTIC ADVENTUR OF J CHRIST
• ‘PRAY AWAY THE GAY’ HAS GONE AWAY. WHY ARE GOVERNMENTS TRYG TO STOP IT?
• LONDON'S LANDMARK BUILDG DOTTED WH STRIP CLUBS, GAY VENU TO TURN TO MOSQUE
• IS IT POSSIBLE TO PRAY THE GAY AWAY?
• ‘WE SAY GAY’: FLORIDA’S LARGT PRI PARA DRAWS HUNDREDS OF THOANDS
• NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' IS A HUMANIZG LOOK AT 'GAY CONVERSN' THERAPY SURVIVORS
• HILLSDALE COLLEGE ASKS GAY ATHLETE TO PRAY FOR STCTN OF "EVIL" SAME-SEX MARRIAGE
• ‘PRAY AWAY’ REVIEW: ATONG FOR AN ANTI-GAY STANCE
• CAN CATHOLICS “PRAY AWAY THE GAY?”
• ST. LE'S, OTHER CHURCH, TO EX UNED METHODISTS OVER SAME-SEX MARRIAGE, GAY CLERGY
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• GAY THE PRAY AWAY FUNNY LGBTQ PRI QUOTE SAYG MEME T-SHIRT

PRAYERS FOR GAY PEOPLE

Pray First That You Always Defe Others as Children of GodProbably the first and most important nsiratn when we pray for gay iends and fay members is the state of our own hearts. Ask God to keep your gay loved one healthy physilly and mentally, pray for their growg discernment and wisdom, and for them to grow love for Him—jt as you would pray for anyone else you Bible tells to pray for others, and that pleas the Lord.

GAY, PRAY AND STAY OK

Both of the circumstanc take away personal that your gay loved one to ntact wh wise people who affirm their personhood full while offerg biblil tth. Your gay iend or fay member needs to be rpected as a child of God, and sometim is not you, but another, who creat active pathways to real spirual change. God is jtice, and all His sir for our life are for our good; His boundari on our behavr allow te eedom, livg full liv that are pleasg to are several plac the Bible where homosexualy is discsed.

We mt also affirm the tth of the Bible wh nfince and obedience to God, not strayg away om Biblil tth prayer, word, or That Homosexual Friends and Fay Rpect Their Christian Loved OnYears ago, a gay iend shared wh me her hop of someday gettg married. Most Christians I know want gay members of society to have every legal benef available—to be allowed to arrange fanc together, make health cisns for one another, and partner on other important life issu.

Rpect for this om the gay muny whout risn or the mon label of “tolerant” is very sence, we are to tst God changg hearts and liv, and our prayers for loved on is a very important part of that. By vg the unbelievg gay man or trans woman over to your hoe for a meal, you n be an ambassador for Christ and His church, showg them the kdns that leads to Burs, MDiv, ThM, PhD, is a pastoral unselor. Historilly, the problem is that the Church has expunged all referenc to the LGBTQ+ life of the sats she regniz and never nonized many who should have been precisely bee they were known to be gay.

PRAYER: PRAY IN THE GAY

The Mistry to Lbian and Gay Catholic is an anizatn found by Cardal Roger Mahony and is based out of The Roman Catholic Archdce of Los Angel. As church bee more acceptg of people the LGBT muny, the need for rmatn to bridge the gap between God and gays has prompted a new discsn seri at Affirmatns muny center Ferndale tled “Gay, Pray, and Stay OK! Topics clu: What the Bible Really Says About Homosexualy, Sexual Sodomy and S, The Holy Bible Used for Unholy Purpos, Same Sex Marriage and Interfah Relig Tolerance.

The program brgs several lol gay lears, cludg Triangle Foundatn Executive Director Alicia Skillman and Michigan’s first openly gay Judge, Hon.

They will also be hostg a one-man, 90 mute play lled “J Phreak” that explor Bible passag and mixed fabrics as a metaphor for homosexualy. When Amerin documentarian Kriste Stolakis set out to make her but feature film, she knew she wanted to she a light on the “ex-gay” movement, which nsists of those that believe a person’s genr inty or sexual orientatn n be changed.

NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' LOOKS BEHD THE CURTA OF THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT

Shot before the Covid-19 panmic, the film chronicl the rise — and subsequent fall — of Exod Internatnal, a nversn therapy anizatn that, acrdg to the team behd the the film, began as a Bible study group the 1970s nsistg of five evangelil men who were lookg to help one another leave the “homosexual liftyle. But years after risg to stardom the relig right, many of the “ex-gay” lears, whose own same-sex attractns never went away, have sce e out as LGBTQ and disavowed the very movement that they helped to grow. Stolakis’ list of terviewe “Pray Away” clus Randy Thomas, the fal vice print of Exod Internatnal; Yvette Cantu Schneir, the former head of Exod’ women’s mistri; and John Plk, one of the most bt-known “ex-gay” people the world.

NEW BIN MANDATE: GAY PRAY 5 TIM A DAY, FACG SAN FRANCIS

“Somethg my team and I talked about a lot makg this film is, this really is a movement of hurt people hurtg other people, of what ternalized homophobia and transphobia looks like when is wield outward, ” said Stolakis, whose other directorial creds clu “The Typist” and “Where We Stand.

”While many former lears have renounced and spoken out agast the “pray the gay away” movement, Stolakis said “the larger culture of homophobia and transphobia, ” particularly relig muni, has allowed the movement to ntue wh younger lears, even wh the dissolutn of Exod Internatnal 2013 and the legalizatn of same-sex marriage the U. Alone, nearly 700, 000 lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr adults have been subjected to some form of nversn therapy durg their lifetime, acrdg to a 2019 report om the Williams Instute at the UCLA School of Law. ”Wh “Pray Away” set to but more than 190 untri on Netflix this week, Stolakis wants to make one thg clear to every prospective viewer: The “ex-gay” movement was never led by jt “a uple of bad appl.

GAY THE PRAY AWAY: HEALG YOUR LIFE, LOVE, AND RELATNSHIPS OM THE HARMS OF LGBT CONVERSN THERAPY KDLE EDN

”“As long as that larger culture of homophobia and transphobia exists — be our church, any relig muny, our polil sphere or our culture — some versn of nversn therapy and the ex-LGBTQ movement will ntue, ” she explaed. Individually, we each uniquely reflect your glory and exprs your love, but anti-gay vlence, homophobia, and transphobia have blocked many om regnizg your bety all people. Do not be ceived: neher the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexualy, nor thiev, nor the greedy, nor dnkards, nor revilers, nor swdlers will her the kgdom of God.

Sometim, people will only foc on the middle of this list and say, “Gays and lbians won’t her the kgdom of God, ” while nveniently ignorg the other ss. In yet another step to tablish gay stuff as the official state-sponsored relign the Uned Stat, Print Joe Bin has signed an executive orr stutg the ll to gay prayer, orrg to take place five tim every day, wh everyone facg toward San Francis.

Exod Internatnal, evangelilism’s flagship ex-gay mistry, shut down 2013 after former lear Alan Chambers said had ed pa and harm to too many people and that more than 99 percent of those who’d sought help there hadn’t actually experienced an orientatn change.

GAY FOR PRAY: THE EROTIC ADVENTUR OF J CHRIST

While mistri cludg Exod Internatnal and Foc on the Fay ed to preach that homosexual sire should be elimated, most evangelil church, pastors, and mental health profsnals today emphasize chasty amid sir that might last a lifetime. Even the Nashville Statement, a 14-pot manifto by the plementarian Council of Biblil Manhood and Womanhood, matas that homosexual sire may never change. Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love.

There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia. 'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022. Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife.

The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage".

‘PRAY AWAY THE GAY’ HAS GONE AWAY. WHY ARE GOVERNMENTS TRYG TO STOP IT?

The Pew Rearch Center shared last year that the majory of people who approved of homosexual liftyl didn’t nsir relign important their daily liv. And holdg to God’s revealed tth His Word ncerng homosexualy is even more dangero, ” Becket Cook wrote his book, A Change of Affectn: A Gay Man’s Incredible Story of Remptn.

“The nscienc of today’s Christians are beg rpted by the opprsive cultural i and the extreme social prsure surroundg the issue of homosexualy, but we know that the law of the Lord is wrten on our hearts (Jeremiah 31:31-33) and though we may succeed mutg our nscience, the Word of God is eternal, ” Cook said. Christ has e to rcue homosexual people, no ls than heterosexual people, om their soul-killg idolatry so that we might live fiven, joyful, obedient, and triumphant liv as discipl of J.

The good news of J is that God sav heterosexual sners and homosexual sners who tst J, by both fully acceptg them Christ, spe their s, and helpg them through his Spir to rist s and live pleasg to him.

LONDON'S LANDMARK BUILDG DOTTED WH STRIP CLUBS, GAY VENU TO TURN TO MOSQUE

Christians nnot tly love those who intify as homosexuals whout believg, and beg hont wh them, that such behavr is s and will lead to stctn and eternal ath. I’ve been a “gay” Christian for the last 2-3 years (I’ve been a Christian my whole life) and I’ve e to the realizatn that I nnot be saved unls I am tryg to be righteo and not live s. The revelatns surroundg Marc Bachmann's psychotherapy practice along wh his statements equatg gay people to barbarians reflect the eply held view among too many people that homosexualy is a psychologil or moral choice that n be altered and ed should be.

There are several nservative relig anizatns, like Exod Internatnal and Homosexuals Anonymo, that claim to have helped people change their sexual orientatn through prayer, unselg, or a batn of both.

Moreover, there are licensed mental health profsnals who practice what are lled reparative or nversn therapi signed to make gay people heterosexual. The bt-known group of such clicians is the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy (NARTH), led by psychologist Joseph Nilosi. He and his followers claim that gays and lbians suffer om a damagg blend of childhood trma, shamg their fai of orig, and chronic unmet needs for love and affectn om their same-sex parents.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO PRAY THE GAY AWAY?

Reparative therapy supposedly helps gay clients bee heterosexual by workg wh them to amelrate toxic feelgs stemmg om their damaged childhoods. Robert Spzer, a proment psychiatrist who, oddly enough, led the charge to remove homosexualy as a disease om the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual, had unrtaken rearch wh 200 women and men who unrwent reparative therapy and believed themselv to be "cured" of homosexualy, as evinced by their abily to engage sexual relatns wh the oppose sex, marry heterosexually, and nceive children. In fact, there are many reports of people unrgog treatments offered by ex-gay mistri who not only return to homosexualy but have also been trmatized by this so-lled therapy.

It is important to regnize that the great majory of psychotherapy profsnals argue vociferoly that such "treatment" is uhil bee homosexualy is not an illns — rather the "illns" is our tolerance of sexual and genr behavrs fallg outsi rtrictive societal norms. I also tell clients that reparative and nversn therapi, bis beg effective, are psychologilly harmful to gays and lbians, which is another reason I do not remend them and will not assist clients procurg such treatment. People like Marc and Michele Bachmann believe that acceptg and even celebratg gay and lbian people will evably lead to the moral cle of our society.

Disregardg all evince that the ex-gay movement is credibly damagg to more than 90% of those who unrgo "treatment" (bee they clearly jt didn't believe God enough), Settg Captiv Free wants you to know that you were not "born this way. " Homosexualy is a s that you need to purge om your system, and the only way to do is to follow their three-parts-a-day the app is only downloadable om Google Play (iTun and the 69, 822+ people who petned them don't believe nversn therapy for some reason), there is an abridged versn available on the mistry’s webse. Stop Callg Your Homosexualy an "Alternative Liftyle": It's "Wicked, " "Evil, " and a "S": The are the only thgs you should ever ll om now on, preferably hhed ton.

‘WE SAY GAY’: FLORIDA’S LARGT PRI PARA DRAWS HUNDREDS OF THOANDS

Change For the Right Reasons (the Glory Of God): After all, homosexualy is nothg but "lt, porn, and sexual immoraly, " ss that are applible only to gay people and never to straight on.

Remove Yourself From Anythg Even Remotely Gay: Don't watch porn (aga, 's only a gay thg), don't go on gay webs, and most of all, certaly don't associate wh gay people.

NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' IS A HUMANIZG LOOK AT 'GAY CONVERSN' THERAPY SURVIVORS

Realize That Beg Homosexual Mak You Feel Alone Fet that we told you to shut yourself away om most of the world, and ignore the ia that maybe gay people feel so alone bee of the discrimatory and hateful attus that they face, helped by people like . But if at the end of this 60-day therapy, you still have homosexual tennci, then you didn't really believe and you didn't really want to change.

HILLSDALE COLLEGE ASKS GAY ATHLETE TO PRAY FOR STCTN OF "EVIL" SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

Petersburg’s first LGBTQ Pri march sce the onslght of the Covid-19 panmic, and jt three months after Florida’s ernor signed what crics ll the “Don’t Say Gay” law.

Along wh rabow hats, eye makp, clothg and flags, there were prott signs the sea of Pri revelers, cludg those that said “We say gay” and "Bans off our bodi. The measure, which crics dubbed the “Don’t Say Gay” law, prohibs classroom stctn on genr inty and sexual orientatn Florida classrooms for stunts “ krgarten through gra 3 or a manner that is not age appropriate or velopmentally appropriate for stunts acrdance wh state standards.

In the week until the “Don’t Say Gay” law tak effect — and a moment time that for many queer people has brought a sense of unease about their future — the ever-faiar “pri as prott” rea lored how many celebrated the largt event of s kd Florida, a state that has propelled self to the center of the latt culture war. Dpe the 90-gree heat and humidy that ntued to the early eveng hours and a smatterg of anti-gay protters holdg signs that said “J Lov You” and “How Can I Pray for You, ” patrons stayed for hours after the para, visg vendors and lol bs, and dancg North Strb Park.

‘PRAY AWAY’ REVIEW: ATONG FOR AN ANTI-GAY STANCE

Featured promently are former “ex-gay” figur like John Plk and Julie Rodgers, who expla how they me to embrace reparative ― or “gay nversn” ― therapy, only to nounce the practice and acknowledge their te LGBTQ selv later.

The Amerin Medil Associatn, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn and the Amerin Amy of Pediatrics have all discreded the “ex-gay” movement spired two Hollywood films, “Boy Erased” and “The Mistn of Cameron Post. One of s most recent alumni is Derek Schell, the basketball player who me out publicly and to his Hillsdale team as gay a uple years ago. I believed “sex toys” for gay men stopped at dildos and prostate stimulators, and I did not nsir them legimate sex play all on their own.

[RELATED: "30 Kky Terms Every Gay Man Needs to Know"]In the years sce, I have learned that there are many gay sex toys out there beyond anal toys, although the are certaly the majory, and anal toys toys are more than substutns for penis.

CAN CATHOLICS “PRAY AWAY THE GAY?”

You uld sur the Inter or make expensive pilgrimag to your neart big cy to vis a sexual retailer tered exclively to gay men — nearly every big cy has one — or you uld start wh this list of 39 sex toys you have to try, some of which are for begners and others for seasoned adventurists. Movi|‘Pray Away’ Review: Atong for an Anti-Gay Stance ADVERTISEMENTIn this documentary, people who had promoted the ia that sexual orientatn uld be changed exprs their AwayDirected by Kriste StolakisDocumentaryPG-131h 41mThe Netflix documentary “Pray Away” profil several people who, the public sphere and the ntext of Christiany-cloaked “nversn therapy, ” peddled the ia that homosexualy uld be changed, and who now regret the sufferg they ed.

ST. LE'S, OTHER CHURCH, TO EX UNED METHODISTS OVER SAME-SEX MARRIAGE, GAY CLERGY

Michael Bsee, a founr of Exod Internatnal, nsired one of the major anizatns that preached that sexual orientatn uld be changed, was both an early promoter and an early harms nversn therapy , and the tactics , aren’t news at this pot, and “Pray Away” is more tertg when foc on how most of s subjects eventually embraced gay and bisexual inti spe havg formerly been so public their homophobia. Cast & crewUser reviewsTrivia2021PG-131h 41mFormer lears of the "pray the gay away" movement ntend wh the aftermath unleashed by their actns, while a survivor seeks healg and acceptance om more than a of lears of the "pray the gay away" movement ntend wh the aftermath unleashed by their actns, while a survivor seeks healg and acceptance om more than a of lears of the "pray the gay away" movement ntend wh the aftermath unleashed by their actns, while a survivor seeks healg and acceptance om more than a of productn, box office & pany Vios1More like thisReview Didn't really enjoy thisLove the subject matter, thk is credibly important.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

One good example of enjambment and how works stanza five, where Thomas wr, "Grave men, near ath, who see wh bldg sight/Bld ey uld blaze like meteors and be gay. The largt Uned Methodist church Oklahoma was among 55 ho of worship whose requts to sever nomatnal ti over issu of same-sex marriage and gay clergy were ratified on Saturday durg a special meetg Oklahoma Cy.

GAY THE PRAY AWAY FUNNY LGBTQ PRI QUOTE SAYG MEME T-SHIRT

This is an important lson for church and nomatnal bodi to learn as they nsir one of the most challengg qutns of our time: how to addrs the cln of persons who are gay, lbian, transgenr or otherwise nonnformg to tradnal rol.

An example on each si: One iend believ the church should allow gay ans bee a an body should reprent the life of the church, where there are undoubtedly gay members. Crics of LGBTQ cln the church often talk about a “gay liftyle” as a broad assumptn that all people wh same-sex attractn are livg promiscuy and bchery. This is problematic, however, if the church expects a standard of sexual relatns only wh marriage but do not acknowledge marriage as a realy for gay and lbian Christians.

“My son is gay and bee of how he has seen Christians speak so hatefully about people the gay muny, he has a wall his heart toward God. The ia of speakg to a gay-affirmg Christian is equally troublg to me—I n almost hear the voic of my pastors tellg me my very qutn means perhaps I was never saved at all. I’m facg the possibily of gettg kicked out and tryg to prepare myself for everythg my dad will say, that I’m “livg s” and “homosexualy is clearly wrong the Bible”.