TLC's 'My Hband's Not Gay' isn't homophobic—'s jt awful garbage.
Contents:
- ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’: MEET THE CAST OF TLC SPECIAL ABOUT 3 MORMON COUPL
- MY HBAND’S NOT GAY MISUNRSTANDS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE GAY
- THE PROFOUND LACK OF EMPATHY MY HBAND'S NOT GAY
- TLC'S “MY HBAND'S NOT GAY” STARS A PROMENT “EX-GAY” ACTIVIST
- MY HBAND'S NOT GAY IS FELY NOT WORTH THE UPROAR
- 6 THGS ABOUT TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’
- THE REAL REASON YOU SHOULD BE OFFEND BY TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’
- 4 REASONS TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ IS DANGERO FOR LGBT PEOPLE
‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’: MEET THE CAST OF TLC SPECIAL ABOUT 3 MORMON COUPL
"My Hband’s Not Gay,” which airs Jan. 11, follows the stori of married men wh "same-sex attractn." * my husband's not gay tlc *
Jeff (left) and Pret of the TLC special "My Hband’s Not Gay, ” airg Jan.
MY HBAND’S NOT GAY MISUNRSTANDS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE GAY
The guys on the TLC special My Hband’s Not Gay, which aired Sunday night, don’t intify as gay. Sure, they read as gay, they acknowledge that they... * my husband's not gay tlc *
In January, the work will air “My Hband’s Not Gay, ” which shows a different kd of Mormon marriage: men who are attracted to other men yet marry women bee of their fah. The men do not refer to themselv as gay or homosexual. Acrdg to the Church of J Christ of Latter-day Sats, homosexualy is a s that go agast God’s law.
“We are not anti-gay. Hckley, the late print of the LDS Church, said a 2008 terview about the church’s stance on gay marriage. The church was one of the major relig anizatns that fought for Proposn 8 California to elimate same-sex a separate statement, Hckley, who died 2008, said the church lov “so-lled gays and lbians” like “sons and dghters of God.
11 premiere, meet the st of “My Hband’s Not Gay”:Jeff and TanyaJeff, a Salt Lake Cy native, and Tanya, who grew up Wyomg, met on a bld date 13 years ago. The guys on the TLC special My Hband’s Not Gay, which aired Sunday night, don’t intify as gay. Sure, they read as gay, they acknowledge that they are attracted to guys, and they go out together to check out other men, but they also repeatedly emphasize the ways they differ om people livg a so-lled “gay liftyle” bee of nsc choic they have ma.
THE PROFOUND LACK OF EMPATHY MY HBAND'S NOT GAY
Gay activists are up arms about the TLC show, which follows Mormon men who have ‘same-sex attractn’ but don’t act on the impulse. They’ve got wrong * my husband's not gay tlc *
Dpe the work’s assertns that the show “solely reprents the views of the dividuals featured, ” there are repeated suggtns that gay men n be attracted to women and that homosexual orientatns are not fixed and unchangg but fluid and negotiable.
This ought not to be surprisg given that some of the show’s subjects are active ex-gay evangelizers.
This ex-gay mdset is what mak the show so od, and s foc on orientatn change ought to be distguished om other, ls harmful efforts to rencile tradnal fah backgrounds wh LGBTQ inti. Although My Hband’s Not Gay attempts to stick to the personal experienc of s subjects, a group of Mormons who live around Salt Lake Cy, the iology of orientatn change slips around the edg, particularly when the show’s subjects fe what means to be gay. The reful distctns they make between “experiencg same-sex attractns”—or SSA—and beg gay would be enough to imprs the most arnt votee of polilly rrect lguistic parsg.
TLC'S “MY HBAND'S NOT GAY” STARS A PROMENT “EX-GAY” ACTIVIST
* my husband's not gay tlc *
“Gay, to [the SSA Mormon men], is a liftyle choice, ” Tanya, one of the wiv, explas. Later, she not, “[My hband] is fely more attracted to men than women, ” which, she says, is “what some people might ll gay.
The men themselv also ame the difference between themselv and gays as a matter of choice. Pret, one of the men wh a history of ex-gay activism, explas how, growg up, “I thought for a long time that I was gay.
MY HBAND'S NOT GAY IS FELY NOT WORTH THE UPROAR
As The Learng Channel (TLC) prepar to air s latt realy drama "My Hband's Not Gay," the misnomered work is learng that many potential LGBT viewers will not be tung to watch the one-hour special slated to premiere on Sunday. * my husband's not gay tlc *
” Later he says: “If was accepted to be a homosexual the church, would I be gay?
6 THGS ABOUT TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’
” Clearly, the are people who believe that if they had ma different choic, they would be gay men, not people who believe that beg gay is tegorilly distct om their experience of same-sex attractn. There are ways that a gay orientatn uld be renciled wh heterosexual marriage that wouldn’t rely on the belief that changg one’s sexual orientatn is possible.
” He thereby suggts that sexual fluidy is universally experienced, implyg that a gay orientatn n be waed out, as if were a bad se of the measl.
The fact that most gay men do not experience attractns to the oppose sex, or feel that their sexualy is fluid, is not addrsed. It is, however, referenced briefly by a guy intified as Shn, who spends a few sends actg as a pro-gay foil for the show’s protagonists.
THE REAL REASON YOU SHOULD BE OFFEND BY TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’
In that moment, when a gay man’s assertn that he is not and uld not be attracted to women is challenged, the pretense that the show als only wh the particular men’s dividual experience evaporat. They do not believe that they are different om gay men bee they are also attracted to women; they believe that is possible for gay men to bee attracted to women, and they explicly say so. However, I believe that there’s an important distctn to be ma between approach that irrponsibly promote orientatn change ( spe of all the evince agast ), as opposed to those that affirm the existence of persistent, unchangg sexual orientatns most gay men and many lbians.
The iendlit of the renciliatn strategi is a belief that same-sex marriag are valid and should be blsed by tradnal church, and gay and lbian people of fah should chew sex outsi such unns exactly the same way that heterosexual men and women are expected to.
Still, even the more hardle posn that gays and lbians are lled to be celibate if they are unable to participate a heterosexual marriage is an improvement on the nial and ercn of ex-gay mistri, which promote nversn “therapy” leadg to eventual orientatn change. The expectatn that gays should fo sexual and romantic timacy altogether is a tough one—I certaly would never want to live that way—but at least don’t ny the existence of certa people whose orientatn is fixed the directn of same-sex relatnships, and regniz that such people are beg asked to do somethg unique and difficult. The dacy of the expectatn that gays and lbians mt go whout romantic love means that celibate gay Christians such tradns n unter wh their own mands for spirual support and nourishment and hold their church acuntable if their special needs are not met.
4 REASONS TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ IS DANGERO FOR LGBT PEOPLE
While imperfect, this at least allows space for gays and lbians to speak the tth about themselv while remag wh a fah tradn that they see as too central to their inti to let go of—or too important to let go of all at once, s where celibacy serv as a way statn on the way to a Christiany that is more affirmg of the need to form romantic partnerships.