Ross Gay’s ‘Incg Joy’ Reimag How We Fd Life’s Greatt Happs</tle><meta name="tle" ntent="Ross Gay’s ‘Incg Joy’ Reimag How We Fd Life’s Greatt Happs" /><meta name="scriptn" ntent="Gay discs his latt book of says wh Shondaland." /><meta name="keywords" ntent="books, cg joy, ross gay" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="webse" /><meta name="theme-lor" ntent="#000000" /><lk href="/_assets/sign-tokens/shondaland/static/imag/" rel="in" /><meta property="og:se_name" ntent="Shondaland" /><meta name="fb:app_id" ntent="1860347537614732" property="fb:app_id" /><meta name="article:publisher" ntent=" property="article:publisher" /><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@byshondaland" /><meta name="google-se-verifitn" ntent="sfu5mSXvL_LJ0UWJMOQBi6gAhtC3W7eoCJECFtoBQiw" /><meta property="og:tle" ntent="Ross Gay’s ‘Incg Joy’ Reimag How We Fd Life’s Greatt Happs" /><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="Gay discs his latt book of says wh Shondaland." /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/shondaland/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta name="to-publish" ntent="timely" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="Books" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2022-10-28T11:00:38Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2022-10-28T11:00:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent="New York Tim bt-sellg thor and Natnal Book Award falist Ross Gay may never read this terview, and that’s totally fe. It’s jt not his style. While we’re entranced by our smartphon, scrollg away, he’s likely out nature garng, teachg, or gatherg not for his next say or poem." /><meta name="" ntent="spire,Culture,books,Books" /><meta name="" ntent="2022-10-28 11:00:00" /><meta name="sailth.socialtle" ntent="Ross Gay’s ‘Incg Joy’ Reimag How We Fd Life’s Greatt Happs" /><meta name="ntenttype" ntent="standard-article" /><meta id="m1" name="m1" emProp="cssSelector " ntent=".ntent-hed" /><meta id="m2" name="m2" emProp="cssSelector" ntent=".ntent-k p" /><lk href="/" emSpe emType=" emRef="m1 m2" /><lk rel="preload" as="image" image-src-set=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" image-siz="100vw" /><lk rel="prefetch" href="" as="image" /><lk rel="preload" as="image" image-src-set=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" image-siz="100vw" /><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="47" /><meta name="next-font-prennect" /><script id="vice-tect" data-nscript="beforeInteractive">(()=>{nst o="ontouchstart" 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64rem){{font-size:3rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.25rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-okra4 exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>Ross Gay’s ‘Incg Joy’ Reimag How We Fd Life’s Greatt Happs<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 1cgvs9y">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.0625rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.25rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#B20B16;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-1cgvs9y exadjwu8"><p>Gay discs his latt book of says wh Shondaland.</p></div><style data-emotn="css 1yvxpqj">{marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;} span{le-height:1.6;}</style><div class="css-1yvxpqj exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css ku2dj9">{font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><addrs class="css-ku2dj9 ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css 6ywij2">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><span class="css-6ywij2 ehvvd9m1">By <style data-emotn="css 5z6rvi">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#B20B16;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/228178/stt-nmyer/" class="css-5z6rvi e1c1bym14">Stt Nmyer</a></span><style data-emotn="css w0ebia">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-w0ebia exadjwu6">Published: Oct 28, 2022</time></addrs></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - (1rem * 2));marg-left:1rem;marg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(-1 * 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc((100vw - (lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 2 * 1rem)) / -2);}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem) and (max-width: 90rem){{max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / -2) - 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 2);max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 + 1rem)) / -2) - lc(2 * 1rem));}[data-has-sponsor] {marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);marg-right:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);}}</style><div class="standard-ntaer ntent-ntaer article-ntaer css-7ce51e ewisyje3"><style data-emotn="css trzem2">{jtify-self:center;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-left:-50vw;marg-right:-50vw;width:100vw;left:50%;right:50%;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead css-trzem2 ewisyje6"></div><style data-emotn="css woto36">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><em>New York Tim</em> bt-sellg thor and Natnal Book Award falist Ross Gay may never read this terview, and that’s totally fe. It’s jt not his style. While we’re entranced by our smartphon, scrollg away, he’s likely out nature garng, teachg, or gatherg not for his next say or poem. It’s not that he’s anti-technology. It jt don’t brg him joy the way a good walk wh a tsted iend might.</p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Gay’s latt book of says, <em>Incg Joy</em>, feels very much like the aforementned leisurely walk around the neighborhood wh a good iend. Poignant, sightful, and betifully wrten, the says range om dark and difficult topics (like the one about the thor’s dyg father) to the lightful and downright funny. It’s this variety and playfulns that make<em> Incg Joy</em> a salve to life’s disappotments.</p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Shondaland recently ught up wh Ross Gay to talk about his new book, the power and mystery of language, why we’ll likely never see him on social media, what do and do not brg him joy, and so much more.</p><style data-emotn="css 18pb4rg">{borr:0;borr-bottom:th solid black;marg:1.875rem 0;clear:both;}</style><hr data-no-id="3" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="4" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SCOTT NEUMYER: You wrote a lot of this book durg the global panmic of the past few years. How have you been holdg up?</strong></p><p data-no-id="5" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>ROSS GAY: </strong>I thk I’m dog well. I thk, partly, I’m beg more acutely aware of how (and this book kd of gets to that and emerg om ) sort of beholn we are to one another. I’ve been tryg to pay more attentn to that for a while now, but the last b of time has ma me more acutely aware of how the midst of re I am. I’m feelg profound gratu and also profound love for, and sire to wns, the ways we look out for one another.</p><p data-no-id="6" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: I want to say thank you for wrg this book. I feel very strongly that I </strong><strong><em>need</em></strong><strong> this book my life right now, and I thk others will feel that way too, as many did about your prev book of says. When you set out to wre somethg like this, is that always the goal, to fd a way to make somethg that people feel like they </strong><strong><em>need</em></strong><strong> to have?</strong></p><p data-no-id="7" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>That’s a great qutn. I haven’t known the answer to that, but today jt popped my head. It’s that I feel like Toni Morrison. A while ago, she said somethg like she’s wrg the books that she wanted to have the world. I feel very strongly that this is a book that I really need to have the world. 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data-affiliate-work="{"id":"cf8b6e7a-629c-44a4-a3f6-5eaae686d66b","se_id":"00a569cc-f064-4efc-9e86-602be0bec9","is_active":te,"metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","is_active":te,"bs_un_id":"ad046b46-538b-42cb-aa54-c3d158875ed6","tails":"","metadata":{},"created_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241365+00:00","last_updated_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241381+00:00"}}" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="$17 at Amazon" data-vars-ga-media-type="Sgle Product Embed" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-product-id="9bfb05d3-639e-4ec9-b272-cbc9c93c3703" data-vars-ga-product-price="$17.25" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="9ab1f293-3fbb-4ec4-b3d9-9121185bb7" data-vars-ga-gallery-id data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="sale | (not set)" data-vars-ga-sku="1643753045" data-vars-ga-magento-trackg="1" role="button" data-ab-label="ProdClick" class="product-btn-lk en6kra60 css-woa7ea e1c1bym14">$17 at Amazon</a></div><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-r1wujd e6iqd2">Cred: Algonqu Books</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="9" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: There are so many thgs that I want to explore about the book, but I want to first talk about your e of language. Obvly as a poet, you’re well versed g language very specifilly and effectively, but you start right om the tle self wh this book — </strong><strong><em>Incg Joy</em></strong><strong>. Tell me a ltle b about g that word “cg” specifilly.</strong></p><p data-no-id="10" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>I was tryg to thk of a word that was provokg. It’s funny bee I had all the terrible tl. Some that were cent tl, and then some terrible tl. But then I felt like I was lost on the tle. I uldn’t que get . My edors and the publishers had some ias, and they were even worse than me [<em>lghs</em>]<em>.</em> And then, I was at a ltle shop Frenchtown, New Jersey, where I spent some time. And the woman named Meg, who ns a shop, I told her I was workg on somethg, and she jt gave me a notebook. And then, so boom — all the tl started g out. And I started to realize that there’s somethg about unrstandg joy, explorg joy, nsirg joy. But I wanted to be more, I don’t know, energetic a certa kd of way. And the word “provotn” felt good, but there was actually a book by someone kd of my realm who had that word their tle. So, I looked and saw that one of the synonyms for “provotn” is “cement,” and I love that word bee means what I mean to do, which is, a way, ll up the implitns of . I mean, that’s . Bee I do a way feel like this wns to and practice of our nnectg and nnectedns is a profound cement. And will rearrange the world.</p><p data-no-id="11" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: When most people thk of “cg” somethg, ’s often a negative sense. Incg a rt, for stance. But you e here by tellg people that they n (and should) make their own joy. In a way, ’s even more active than sayg “fdg joy.” It’s not a passive activy but rather an active one that kd of needs to be worked at. Was that subvertg of people’s notn of the word self part of the tentn as well? Almost like a slap the face sayg, “Wake up! Joy isn’t gog to jt e to you.”</strong></p><p data-no-id="12" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>Yeah, maybe, bee I do feel like the way that the verb “cg” joy works two ways: One is that kd of asks the qutn, “How do we ce joy?” But then the other mak a noun or an adjective, like joy is cg. And so I thk both of those maybe rensir the hallmarkg notn of joy that is somethg else, which is fe too, but I’m terted this other kd of joy that’s more like an unrstandg that our time here is brief. It’s an unrstandg that everythg we love will pass. There’s also a kd of tenrns and a kd of reachg that I thk [happens when] practicg beg that awarens or matag the kd of state of awarens like that, which is hard. I thk c a kd of behavr that we share.</p><p data-no-id="13" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: One of the thgs I love about the book as well is that ’s filled wh so much variety. There are says about the ep, heavy subjects like grief and ath and toxic masculy and palism. But then you also talk about lighter subjects like books, and lghter, and the art of “the hang” and jt hangg out. That balance the book mak me wonr if you have a full drawer of says that didn’t make the cut for this book, as you very liberately chose the piec to provi balance. Do you have enough says already wrten for a third llectn?</strong></p><p data-no-id="14" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>I have the begngs. But I thk you’re right. There is a sort of balance the book. There’s a long say about grief and masculy, and there’s the say about my father dyg. Then there’s the say about skateboardg, and there’s an say about pickup basketball. There’s a quick one about dancg. So yeah, there’s absolutely a kd of balance that I was tryg to have the book.</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="15" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css 1eiql25">{text-align:center;marg:0rem;paddg-top:0.9375rem;paddg-bottom:0.9375rem;}</style><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 1h5xk02">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:1.625rem;font-weight:bold;le-height:1.2;marg:0rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.75rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.2;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><blockquote class="css-1h5xk02 e1pe3zr90">Bee I do a way feel like this wns to and practice of our nnectg and nnectedns is a profound cement. And will rearrange the world.<br></blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="16" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: Obvly, your mastery of language is unniable, but the brevy and ttns of the says are also super-admirable. I have to assume that some of that om workg as a poet, right?</strong></p><p data-no-id="17" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>Totally. I spend time on sentenc, on the syntax, on the grammar, and on the dictn ways that I know other nonfictn or fictn wrers, for the most part, do not. I fd myself really gettg granular like that and takg a lot of pleasure . And some of my poet iends are also that way. They’re jt really tryg to drill down on the sound of a le. And sometim, for better or worse, I’ll read somethg that I’ve wrten, and I’m like, “That sounds betiful.” The sound of that has a meang.</p><p data-no-id="18" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: Which is sometim the mysticism of poetry, right? It don’t all have to make sense to people outsi of you.</strong></p><p data-no-id="19" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>Yeah, there’s a bodily sense that’s as important. It’s a feelg.</p><p data-no-id="20" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: Do that make wrg the says more challengg?</strong></p><p data-no-id="21" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>I thk that’s a great qutn. It don’t feel more difficult, but feels like a different kd of mental/psychic/spirual thg bee, part, I don’t even know how to articulate this, and maybe I never will, and maybe that’s a good thg, but there’s somethg about poems that rema, to me, more fundamentally myster.</p><p data-no-id="22" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: So, there’s never that aha moment where you’re like, “Yep, this one’s an say!” or “Yeah, this one’s a poem.”</strong></p><p data-no-id="23" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>I thk they e to me at first ually the form that they’re gog to be. It’s possible that thgs n emerge one way and then be like, “You know, you’ve actually got to move them to this other thg.” So, I don’t. I n’t say 100 percent of the time, but for the most part, I know what I’m gettg to.</p><p data-no-id="24" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: What do you fd the most joy the days?</strong></p><p data-no-id="25" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>I’m teachg a great graduate class that’s ostensibly about rearch and archiv, and we’re readg really ol books. I love teachg, and ’s taken me a long time to figure out how to do , so I love . But we’re workg on a llaborative piece. We’re listeng to each other’s work. We’re not criqug each other. We’re jt listeng and beg cur and open. And aga, I’m jt like, “Man, people are both so brilliant and also so lovg settgs where we prepare the space for one another.” People are wonrful. And that’s the thg that I’m feelg really lucky about. That’s pretty magil.</p><p data-no-id="26" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: What type of activi do you fd least joyful?</strong></p><p data-no-id="27" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>I don’t like evaluatg people. A lot of the thgs about my job are thgs that, if I did right, I would hate. So, I don’t gra people. I give everyone A’s jt bee there’s not another button. But when I had to gra people, I hated . All of those more mechanized thgs — anythg that turns to dron, actually — I really hate.</p><p data-no-id="28" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: You talk about this the book que a b, puttg the phone down, and you’re not on social media. Is there no joy to be pulled om social media? Do you not thk your rears would fd joy seeg you experiencg and enjoyg life as well?</strong></p><p data-no-id="29" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>Yeah, I thk they might get a ltle kick out of somethg, but beg on social media, I thk I would certaly have somethg cultivated me that I don’t know that I want cultivated me. But I thk as far as joy is ncerned, I thk they might be more cled or more likely to approach joy if they’re talkg takg a walk wh a iend.</p><p data-no-id="30" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: So, we’re never gonna see you on social media …</strong></p><p data-no-id="31" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>Oh, no. Oh, no [<em>lghs</em>].</p><p data-no-id="32" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>SN: That’s so tertg bee I do fd thgs joyful about , but I n also unrstand the reticence.</strong></p><p data-no-id="33" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>RG: </strong>I also know that I’m distractible. I’m sceptible to that. I’m a regular person who wants to be liked and all that stuff. But I thk our sire to be liked, or approved, or given the thumbs-up, or whatever … I thk that is horrible for art. And that’s not at all to say that n’t be efully ployed. It’s all the other aspects, and actually nnects to what I thk about school. School is jt effectively an approval factory. You go to school not really to learn. You go to school to have the people charge approve of you and to advance you. And there’s all the ways our liv where that happens. And I thk ’s bad for our souls.</p><hr data-no-id="34" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="35" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><em>Stt Nmyer is a wrer om central New Jersey whose work has been published by </em>The New York Tim<em>, </em>The Washgton Post<em>, </em>Rollg Stone<em>, </em>The Wall Street Journal<em>, ESPN, </em>GQ<em>, </em>Esquire<em>, </em>The Boston Globe<em>, </em>AARP<em>, </em>Para<em> magaze, and many more publitns. 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ross gay inciting joy