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You n try<!-- --> <a href="/newsletters">subscribg here</a> or try aga later.</span></div></div></div></div></hear><article class="article" data-rid="362738" data-rtype="story"><div id="gtm-visibily-50" class="gtm-pixel"></div><div id="gtm-visibily-75" class="gtm-pixel"></div><div id="gtm-visibily-100" class="gtm-pixel"></div><sectn class="sectn--breakout sectn--uw sectn--first sectn--learboard"><div class="uw uw--rponsive"><div class="uw-ner"><p class="uw-label">Advertisement</p><div class="uw-ntent uw-ntent--centered"><div style="width:300px;height:50px"></div></div></div></div></sectn><hear class="article-sectn--tle article-sectn--island"><div class="article-actn"><h1 class="article-hdr">On Beg Gay In Medice: A Leadg Harvard Pediatrician's Story</h1></div><div class="article-meta"><span class="article-meta-em--date"><span tle="Wednday, March 31st 2021, 8:13:55 pm">Updated <!-- -->March 31, 2021</span></span><ul class="article-meta-em--thorlist article-meta-group"><li class="article-meta-em article-meta-em--thor"><a class="article-meta-lk article-meta-em--thor" href="/si/staff/rey-goldberg">Carey Goldberg</a></li></ul><div class="article-share article-share-ins"><a href=" & target="_blank" rel="noreferrer" class="article-share-lk" tle="Share on Facebook"><svg class="in in-facebook" viewBox="0 0 128 128" role="img" width="24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">facebook</tle><path display="le" d="M120.1,0H8.2c-4.4,0-8,3.6-8,8v112c0,4.4,3.6,8,8,8h60.4V78.2h-16V59.8h16V43.9 c0-14.6,8.9-24.3,26.4-24.3c7.7,0,13.1,0.9,13.1,0.9V37h-12c-5.3,0-8,3-8,8.2v14.5h18.7l-2.7,18.4h-16v49.7h32c4.4,0,8-3.6,8-8V8 C128.1,3.6,124.5,0,120.1,0z"></path></svg></a><a href="mailto:?body=On Beg Gay In Medice: A Leadg Harvard Pediatrician's On Beg Gay In Medice: A Leadg Harvard Pediatrician's Story" class="article-share-lk" tle="Share by email"><svg class="in in-email" viewBox="0 0 128 128" width="20" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Email</tle><path display="le" d="M64.2,86.3l-64-48V104c0,4.4,3.6,8,8,8h112c4.4,0,8-3.6,8-8V38.4L64.2,86.3z M64.2,72l64-48 c0-4.4-3.6-8-8-8H8.2c-4.4,0-8,3.6-8,8L64.2,72z"></path></svg></a></div></div></hear><sectn class="article-sectn--ntent hang-punctuatn article-sectn--first article-sectn--centered"><p class=""><em>Dr. Mark Schter is the William Berenberg Profsor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medil School and Chief of General Pediatrics at Children’s Hospal Boston. This say is based on remarks he ma as the featured speaker at the Children's Hospal Boston GLBT & Friends Celebratn June, 2010, and <a href=">has jt been published </a> the journal "Amic Pediatrics." We post here wh his permissn.</em></p><figure class="article-fig size-medium article-fig--pull-right"><picture><img class="size-medium article-image" src=" alt="Dr. Mark Schter, Harvard Medil School profsor and Chief of General Pediatrics at Children’s Hospal Boston" loadg="lazy"/></picture><figptn class="article-fig-ptn">Dr. Mark Schter, Harvard Medil School profsor and Chief of General Pediatrics at Children’s Hospal Boston</figptn></figure><p class="">The first time I stood before a large dience to speak was when I was 13 years old. It was at my Bar Mzvah. I walked up to the podium, looked out over the sea of fac, and thought to myself, I am a homosexual standg ont of all of the people. And I wonred what would happen if I told them.</p><p class="">That was 1972, and even mentng the word homosexual, unls paired wh an expletive or rogatory adjective, would have been unacceptable at my synagogue. It would have been unacceptable my home, my school, or any place I knew. I uld not have nceived of tellg my doctor. I assumed that I would never say out loud that I am a homosexual. The ia that I would someday be able to stand an dorium, stand anywhere, jt a few om where I live wh my hband, our two sons, and our dog, wh everythg but the whe picket fence, was not somethg I uld image.</p><p class="">Today I stand on a different stage. The Children’s Hospal Boston GLBT and Friends group asked me to share my story as part of s celebratn day. How I got here, what I learned along the way, pecially at Children’s, and how the world changed — the are what I will talk about.</p><p class="">A after I nsired turng my Bar Mzvah to a public nfsnal, I entered medil school at Harvard. Some stunts had started a gay group the year before. They had sped out the terrory, searched for role mols, and e up nearly empty. In a creaky old closet, tucked way the back, they found a world-renowned senr physician at Children’s. He advised agast startg the group, offerg that was much better to be secretive about beg gay so that no one would bother you. I’ve heard that same advice many tim om men and women om earlier generatns who had fewer optns their day.</p><p class="">Around the same time, a Harvard physician I later met was jt g out. He was spotted at a social event wh someone his hospal’s Chairman of the Board spected was gay. The Chairman reported to the hospal that he thought the physician was gay too and said that people like that should not be allowed to work there.</p><p class=""><!--more--></p><p class="">Fortunately, the CEO ignored the Chairman.</p><p class="">There was a junr faculty member at Beth Israel Hospal who was out and actually willg to talk wh gay stunts. When I ma my pilgrimage to meet her, even she advised me to rema closeted until after I got my first semter gras. She explaed that the school would want to kick me out if they learned I was gay, and they uld e poor gras as an exce.</p><p class="">That’s not to say that there was silence about gay people. We did learn about them an elective urse on “special” populatns. One week we learned about prostutn; another, about dg addicts. In between, we learned about homosexuals. A real live one showed up to tell what was like. He was articulate and our own age and seemed jt like all of . Ined, I knew him. We had gone to llege together and he was a stunt at Harvard Law School. I sat awe of his bravery and prayed no one had seen him say hi to me.</p><p class="">I me out to classmat I felt close to. They were mostly supportive. One time I was talkg wh a classmate about a guy who had asked me out on a date. She nfsed that she had thought that beg gay meant simply that men had sex wh men; had never occurred to her that they might actually go to a movie or fall love. Her honty gave me a wdow to what many peers believed, as I would learn repeatedly over the years when people let down their guard.</p><p class="">Durg medil school, I was on the admissns mtee. Two people terviewed each applint and then prented to the rt of the mtee. There was an applint who was outstandg every tegory; I gave him a 10 out of 10. The other mtee member who terviewed him, a doctor at Children’s, gave him the worst sre we’d seen. His rerd at one of the top schools the untry meant that he would have had to have nfsed to murr, or worse, preferrg Yale to Harvard, to get such a low sre. We waed to hear the explanatn. He said that he jt didn’t feel “fortable” wh the applint.</p><p class="">The mtee was baffled. I wasn’t, bee I had met the applint. He was a man who was effemate. I didn’t know if he was gay, but I did know that he was someone who was likely to have been lled nam or to have been roughed up bee people thought he was. The doctor who had terviewed him already had a reputatn at Harvard College, where he helped premeds put together their applitns for medil school. Gay stunts knew to avoid beg assigned to him.</p><p class="">As turned out, wh no articulated explanatn for the low sre, the mtee was unnvced and went wh my sre. The applint was admted, got an MD/PhD, eventually me out as gay, and has gone on to do important work transgenr studi. I wasn’t sorry that the doctor who had terviewed him left Children’s before I began rincy here.</p><p class="">A year later I was dog my rotatns. On my adult nrology rotatn, a young woman me to the emergency ward wh urary ntence and other symptoms and signs of a herniated disc. The myelogram nfirmed the diagnosis. The nrosurgeon was eager to operate. The nrology team was lighted that she was a great teachg se. But she proved a richer teachg se than we anticipated. The nrosurgeon abptly nceled the operatn. It turned out that the radlogist had reversed his readg.</p><p class="">When prsed as to why he no longer saw what even a third-year medil stunt uld see (that would be me), he nfsed that the nrosurgeon had prsured him to change his read. When our team met wh the nrosurgeon, he was direct. He had seen what he assumed to be a lbian novel at the patient’s bedsi, and he wasn’t gog to operate. His ratnalizatn was that she might have serted somethg to her urethra that ed her ntence. He had no rearch or se studi to support his theory. He had no explanatn for why a lbian would do this. He had no explanatn for why wasn’t showg up on x-ray. He ma clear, though, that he wasn’t gog to operate on a lbian.</p><p class="">Then I heard a voice shout, “So, she’s a lbian, what do matter!” And then I realized that the voice was me. There was a moment of silence as everyone turned to look at me, jaws agape. The nrosurgeon burst forth wh qutns. How do you know? Did she tell you? What did she say? Ined, she hadn’t said anythg. It was jt that she and the woman by her si durg all of this were the most obvly voted uple I’d met any of my rotatns yet. The nrosurgeon held firm. To their cred, the nrology team got orthopedics to perform the surgery.</p><p class="">On another rotatn, I was on a nsult service that helped diagnose a man wh AIDS. His se h home. He had jt moved across the untry wh his boyiend, who was a first-year Harvard medil stunt. The pulmonary fellow on our team, a generally kd man, gmbled to me that he hated havg to go to this patient’s room. And so we didn’t go much. The patient’s tern also avoid him, even managg to fd herself too by to perform a timed blood draw one night for a key lab tt. I was still there wrg my nsult note, so after several attempts to gently remd her to take a break om havg a light eveng and chattg wh staff, I jt did myself. This patient was not unlike any number of patients at hospals around the untry, wonrg why the clicians who were supposed to provi re and fort appeared to be avoidg and even judgg them.</p><p class="">He eventually died. His survivg boyiend, the medil stunt, joed some other medil stunts and me at the 1987 Natnal March on Washgton for Lbian and Gay Rights. While there, our vis to the AIDS quilt, a llectn of panels that each reprented someone who had been lost, was particularly poignant as we remembered my former patient and so many other patients and iends.</p><p class="">Later, durg rincy, we had a child the neonatal tensive re un wh two moms. The primary nurse assigned to him was herent on rounds. She uldn’t nta her distaste for the boy’s parents. She didn’t want eher mom around, cludg the one who had given birth. The charge nurse pulled her off the se. This was the same neonatal tensive re un which staff also found hilar that a female utilizatn review admistrator ed to be a man; they snickered and whispered wh earshot when she was there. I enuntered the same fant aga a few months later on the wards when he was admted wh bronchlis. There the nurs and physicians treated the moms wh all the rpect that every parent should receive.</p><p class="">After my third year, I entered a jot masters program at the Kennedy School of Government. Havg benefted om the peer support of the medil school gay group, I teamed up wh some other stunts to start one at the Kennedy School. We anized a public screeng of a documentary about the life of Harvey Milk, an early gay rights lear who was assassated. I agreed to do the troductory speech for the eveng. When I mentned this to my boyiend, a junr faculty member at the law school who was ncerned about gettg tenure, he told me that word would certaly get back to the medil school and I would not get a rincy. That gave me pse. He also told me he would have to break up wh me bee he wouldn’t be able to be seen wh me once I me out publicly.</p><p class="">That was eye-openg so many ways, and basilly guaranteed that I would go ahead and troduce the eveng. We had tried to meet wh the an to ve him to make some remarks at the event, but he wouldn’t even talk wh . Through his assistant, he cled to attend the event, but he did send a letter for to read. It talked about the joys of nng for public office. It mentned nothg about beg gay or our new stunt group. His letter beme an object lson for the school, wh the dience lghg vigoroly at the words so refully chosen to avoid givg any ht of support for our group.</p><p class="">A few months later was time for me to pick medil school rotatns for the summer, so I met wh my attendg om my pediatrics rotatn at Children’s, who was also a member of the admissns mtee for the pediatrics rincy. He had cid that he should be my advisor. He told me that I was fely gog to get to Children’s for rincy so I should take the opportuny to do adult rotatns bee I’d get plenty of pediatrics for the rt of my reer. He told me who should wre my remendatns, wh him beg at the top of his list. At the end of our nversatn, I told him I had one more thg I wanted to talk about. I told him I was gay.</p><p class="">I felt I had to. He was quisive about his advise’ personal liv, often askg who each other was datg, and I didn’t want him to hear om someone else and thk I didn’t tst him. Pl, my most important example of learship, which was prumably somethg that rinci looked at, volved the Kennedy School gay group. He looked stunned. He said nothg for a long time. Then he asked if I had told anyone else at the hospal. I said that I hadn’t, and he told me not to tell anybody. I left, not sure of what to make of our meetg.</p><p class="">After the summer, I me back to meet wh him to falize my rincy applitns. The only new gra that had e at that pot was an A+ on my end-of-the-first-year masters project. I went back over my list of remenrs bee I thought I should add an attendg om the summer. That’s when he rmed me that he would not be wrg me a remendatn. This time I was the one who was stunned. I hadn’t seen g. It wasn’t lost on me that whout a letter om the attendg of my only pediatric rotatn, I wouldn’t be able to bee a pediatrician. That boyiend who had told me that word would get back to the medil school and keep me om gettg a rincy was right. What he hadn’t anticipated was that I would be the msenger.</p><p class="">So now I was a b of a tight spot. I had been schled to take my fal masters urs that fall, but I nceled them and looked for open pediatric rotatns. Luckily, the two I found on short notice had wonrful attendgs, Ken McIntosh and Bill Berenberg. Whout their remendatns, I uld not have applied pediatrics anywhere. This mak the fact that my endowed profsor- ship is named for Dr. Berenberg a particularly special privilege.</p><p class="">It may seem odd that I didn’t pla to anyone, but there was no one at the medil school or the hospal to whom I or my gay classmat thought was safe to pla. There were no polici to protect ; no grievance boards; no mechanisms place. Tim have changed, but I still have unrgrads ask me if they n e out their medil school applitns and medil stunts ask if they n e out their rincy applitns. Y, tim have changed, but they have not changed enough.</p><p class="">I wound up matchg at Children’s and went through rincy aaid that if the faculty found out about me, I uld be mistreated or margalized. I felt like I unrstood why the Children’s profsor had said several years before that was better to be secretive so that no one will bother you. But I didn’t agree wh him. I told myself that I would never aga hi my orientatn an applitn or work a place where I feared beg out.</p><p class="">Rincy left ltle time for a social life, but I did get out every now and then. One night I was a le for an AIDS fundraiser. Sudnly there were shouts and we found ourselv beg chased down the street by a group of guys wh baseball bats yellg, “Faggots, go home!” After they’d ma their pot, they cleared out, leavg a man lyg unnsc the street. I ran back to help him. A nurse om Children’s also appeared. The man was cut and bloody. He was rponsive to pa but not aroable. We tend to him until the ambulance me. From what I later read the lol gay newspaper, he remaed gnively impaired.</p><p class="">After rincy, I moved to L.A. for fellowship and stayed for 16 years. I was open my daily life. It was nice. I overheard fewer fag jok, no one was tryg to fix me up wh their sister, and I beme a rource for people of all ag who were g out and sred. I brought my boyiend Jeff, now my hband, to work events. I apparently was the first person to brg a same- genr partner to such thgs. A senr faculty member me to my office one day, closed the door, and - mented on my brgg Jeff to events. He then awkwardly told me that he was gay and had a partner. I never did see him brg his partner to a work functn, but I thk pleased him to know that thgs were different for the next generatn.</p><p class="">Years passed and I found myself lookg at job opportuni on the east ast. An stutn I was exced about ved me to terview. Before I’d even vised, the chair offered a recment package that blew me away. Everythg sound great. I asked on the phone whether there were domtic partner benefs. It was a perfunctory qutn, bee given the cy, I assumed the answer would be y. By that pot, most Fortune 100 pani had them. Turns out they didn’t, but they said they’d ver Jeff’s benefs to acmodate me. I explaed that I appreciated the gture, but I wasn’t terted workg a place that didn’t have partner benefs for everyone.</p><p class="">That was on a Friday. On Monday they lled back wh news. They had mted to startg domtic partner benefs wh the new year. This was remarkable. This was an sti- tutn at which the rints, who were unnized, had recently clud such benefs on their list of mands, only to have the admistratn refe to e to the bar- gag table unls that mand was removed. In the end, after visg, I cid not to accept their offer, but they neverthels followed through and implemented partner benefs. A simple nudge om outsi an stutn n sometim have more impact than repeated requts om wh.</p><p class="">Not long after, Gary Fleisher, our physician--chief, approached me about a search that was openg up for the posn I’m now . As I explored, I was surprised at how different the place seemed om when I was a rint and how fortable I felt. My fay wasn’t jt somethg that was acknowledged but rather was embraced. I was treated like any other rec for a divisn chief posn, wh our hospal print Sandi Fenwick, Gary Fleisher, and others offerg to help my spoe fd a job and advisg on how to fd a prchool for our kids. There was somethg very natural about . It was good to have my fay stcture treated as unremarkable.</p><p class="">It pecially felt good after I got here and received a ll om the head of our rincy admissns mtee, Sam Lux. He wanted to talk about an applint I had terviewed. Sam feared that the applint wouldn’t rank #1 if his partner didn’t have an adult fellowship led up Boston. I was charged wh makg this happen. I asked for the partner’s name so that I uld ll the fellowships. It was an unmistakably male name. I felt like there had jt been an earthquake and that no one had felt but me.</p><p class="">As turned out, his partner was so strong he didn’t need my help, but Sam wasn’t takg any chanc. He was gog on about how I had to ll people at the Brigham and MGH and nvce them to get their fellowship mte to meet early. Sam was so wonrfully obliv to the pronouns. His nonchalance told me so much and drove home most clearly how different thgs were. I uld not believe that a mere two s we had gone om “I’ve cid not to wre you a remendatn” to “Your job is to get this guy’s partner a fellowship.”</p><p class="">I felt that way aga a few months ago. I serve on the medil school promotns mtee, which provis the fal review before portfols are passed on to the an. On our docket was a faculty member om Children’s who has emerged as one of the leadg rearchers on the health of lbian and gay youth. Commtee liberatns are nfintial, but I thk I am wh bounds to say that the enthiasm for her acplishments aga gave me a sense of belongg, and another moment of realizg that what had once seemed impossible had actually e to pass.</p><p class="">Thgs really have changed. They have changed so many plac. And for that I am grateful. I have seen the Supreme Court le that sex between people of the same genr is legal. I have seen gay marriage bee a realy Massachetts. I have seen more and more stat pass laws agast discrimatn the workplace on the basis of orientatn. I have seen gay youth e out high school. I have seen gay llege stunts baffled by the obssn of my generatn wh whether and when to e out and even the need to fe ourselv by our orientatn. I have seen and thought back to myself as a young man who wonred why he was applyg to medil school when he kept hearg that he would have to choose between beg a doctor and beg openly gay —- and I have felt both vdited and happy.</p><p class="">It’s easy for me to thk that my experienc two s ago are ancient history. For me, they are. I’ve been lucky enough to nstct a life that do not volve a daily fear of beg outed, of beg beaten, of beg fired, or of havg my children taken away om me. But many people still live wh such fears. My experienc wouldn’t sound so quat to them.</p><p class="">I am currently servg on the new Instute of Medice Commtee on Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenr Health Issu. The public ttimony has been movg. The enthiasm that people have for the very existence of the mtee and the expectatns they have for our report have been humblg. Their ments have been a remr of jt how margalized people still feel, and how alienated they feel om the clicians whom they pend on their time of greatt need.</p><p class="">I was sadned by the recent se of Lisa Pond, who lay dyg at a Miami hospal om a bra anrysm while her partner of 18 years was blocked om seeg her. I was also sadned when I learned of the child of a lbian uple who was hospalized wh a high fever Bakersfield, California. The blogil mother was allowed at the bedsi while the other mom, who had legally adopted the child, was kept out, even though two parents were allowed for other children.</p><p class="">I was greatly dismayed when Lawrence Kg, an 8th grar Oxnard, California, was shot and killed his classroom for his prumed orientatn. And even closer to home, I was more than sadned when Carl Walker Hoover, a 6th grar om Sprgfield, Mass, mted suici after endurg months of anti- gay bullyg. There are many more stori like the.</p><p class="">Today is a great day to celebrate ourselv, our patients, and our stutn, and appreciate how far we have e, but there’s still much more work to be done.<br />Thank you.</p><p class=""><em>Rears, do this ronate? What have you seen the medil arena?</em></p></sectn><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"><p><em>This article was origally published on March 30, 2012.</em></p></sectn><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered Tags_article-sectn--tags__NOKiB"><a data-ec="Article Tags" data-el="Medice" data-ea="Click" class="article-tag" href="/news/tag/medice">Medice</a></sectn></article><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"><div class="ntributor has-photo"><div class="ntributor-profile"><figure class="ntributor-profile-em ntributor-photo"><a href="/si/staff/rey-goldberg"><picture><img src=" class="lazy rd-image" alt=""/></picture></a></figure><p class="ntributor-profile-em ntributor-b"><a class="ntributor-name" href="/si/staff/rey-goldberg">Carey Goldberg</a> <span class="ntributor-tle">Edor, CommonHealth</span><br/>Carey Goldberg is the edor of WBUR's CommonHealth sectn.</p><p class="ntributor-more"><a class="ntributor-lk ntributor-b-lk" href="/si/staff/rey-goldberg">More…</a></p></div></div></sectn><sectn class="sectn--breakout sectn--uw"><div class="uw uw--rponsive"><div class="uw-ner"><p class="uw-label">Advertisement</p><div class="uw-ntent uw-ntent--centered"><div style="width:300px;height:50px"></div></div></div></div></sectn><div></div><div class="global-d-ponents onmand--is-playg"><div class="global-player"><d preload="to"></d><div class="global-player-bar"><div class="global-player-bar-left"><button class="global-player-bar-ntrol"><i class="in-play in-play--global-player-bar in-play--psed"><span class="in-play-shape"><span class="in-label" data-note="for-screen-rears">Rume</span></span></i></button><div class="global-player-label global-player-label--live"><div class="global-player-channel"><span>Listen Live</span></div><div class="global-player-tle"><a class="global-player-label-lk" href="/">Loadg...</a></div></div></div><div class="global-player-bar-right"><div class="global-player-x"><svg class="in in-close" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Close
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