Are Gay Men Happier Than Straight Men? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• GAY COUPL CAN TEACH STRAIGHT PEOPLE A THG OR TWO ABOUT ARGUG
• GAY RELATNSHIPS CAN BE MORE STABLE THAN STRAIGHT ON
• ARE GAY MARRIAG HEALTHIER THAN STRAIGHT MARRIAG?
• ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?
• HOW TO HAVE A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP
• GAY MALE SEXUALY
• GAY ROMANTIC RELATNSHIPS – STRENGTH, WEAKNS AND OPPORTUNI

GAY COUPL CAN TEACH STRAIGHT PEOPLE A THG OR TWO ABOUT ARGUG

Approval of same-sex relatnships has been steadily risg sce 2009 (Pew Rearch Center, 2017), and the 2015 Supreme Court cisn endorsg same-sex marriage was a w for many lbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) dividuals.

This is nsistent wh prev fdgs: Gay and bisexual men are exposed to mory strsors that n -stabilize relatnships (Meyer, 2003; L, 2012).

Rearch fund by the Natnal Instut of Health on the Health of Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgenr Populatns. Prejudice, social strs, and mental health lbian, gay, and bisexual populatns: Conceptual issu and rearch evince. While there is not much rearch to draw om, the studi that do exist suggt that, on average, same-sex upl rolve nflict more nstctively than different-sex upl, and wh ls are always exceptns, and even the healthit of gay upl are not ntually baskg a rabow-hued utopia.

GAY RELATNSHIPS CAN BE MORE STABLE THAN STRAIGHT ON

They have problems jt like everyone they did not, “I’d be out of bs, ” said Rick Miller, a psychotherapist Boston who works wh gay and straight upl. Likewise, is unfair to lump all straight upl together, and disgenuo to suggt that they are not pable of argug a healthy bee male and female same-sex upl each have different strengths that help them endure, we n all learn om them, Miller are some nstctive methods to handle disagreements, as observed by rearchers of gay upl:Use humor to fe angerCrackg a joke the midst of a heated moment n backfire, but when done properly, “ almost immediately releas the tensn, ” said Robert Rave, 45, who liv wh his hband, David Forrt, Los ced a recent r trip where Forrt, 35, ed humor to help end an latg argument over whether they should rely on Google Maps.

“Gay and lbian upl were gentler raisg issu, far ls fensive, and ed more humor than heterosexual partners, ” said John M.

ARE GAY MARRIAG HEALTHIER THAN STRAIGHT MARRIAG?

A 2018 study suggted that when members of a same-sex uple try to fluence one another, they are more likely to offer enuragement and praise rather than cricism or lectur when pared to different-sex mdful of each other’s emotnal needsUnlike gay men, women who are married to women are “nstantly monorg each other’s emotns and needs and rpondg to them — but they are dog for each other, so ’s reciproted, ” said Debra Umberson, Ph. More about Christa CaronA versn of this article appears prt on, Sectn D, Page 4 of the New York edn wh the headle: When Gay Coupl Argue, It’s Different. Though gays did state that they alt wh creased strs levels due to societal attus, they were more likely to report beg ntent and livg happy liv.

Though they were more likely to have closer ti to parents, they reported spendg ls time wh fay than their gay unterparts. After beg hont about their sexualy, homosexuals tend to ga a eedom which translat to happs and stabily. The notn that all gays bounce om lover to lover is are many, many mted gays who want nothg more than to live their liv and be wh the love of their liv.

ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?

Gay relatnships benef for beg the very thg straight relatnships are not: a unn of two people of the same sex.

Now that the Supreme Court has cid that gay marriag serve the same rights as straight on, ’s worth keepg md the fdgs of psychologists John and Julie Gottman, arguably the world’s leadg experts on what mak relatnships work. They are fdg that gay and heterosexual marriag share a lot mon terms of why they thrive or fail, but on one of the biggt termants of maral succs—how upl fight—gay upl have an edge.

For one peer-reviewed study published the Journal of Homosexualy, Gottman and his lleague Robert Levenson at the Universy of Washgton brought straight and gay upl to Gottman’s lab and terviewed each uple separately about an issue they fought about. In this study, the gay and straight upl brought up the same sort of problems, but gay upl were, by a statistilly signifint marg, ls fensive durg fights and more likely to e shared humor to soften the tensn of the nversatn.

HOW TO HAVE A GAY OR LBIAN RELATNSHIP

“The gay and lbian upl, ” Gottman told me, “were much more open and much more direct, particularly when talkg about sex. He then refully watched how upl—both homosexual and heterosexual—teracted wh each other when discsg pots of nflict, tellg the story of how they met and reflectg on posive and negative memori of their relatnship. When monorg upl as they have a nversatn about relatnship nflicts, Gottman has found that straight upl feel more and more negative moods and emotns, like strs and anger, as a nversatn went on, whereas gay upl did not.

Gottman has found that gay upl are far ls likely to rely on one of the horseman—fensivens—durg a fight. It’s jt that gays, general, are better at alg wh nflict, and this appears to buffer them agast trouble.

Beyond beg better at fightg, gay relatnships benef unexpected ways for beg the very thg that straight relatnships are not: a unn of two people of the same sex. As Liza Mundy poted out her Atlantic article, “The Gay Gui to Wedd Bliss, ” gay upl tend to be more egalarian than straight upl—which mak sense.

GAY MALE SEXUALY

Gay upl, by virtue of beg the same sex, also have empathy on their si—they unrstand each other better. What they do see, though, is that gay men are far more polyamoro than lbian women or men heterosexual relatnships. About 60 percent of gay men, one study found, have had sex outsi of their marriage and 44 percent of them said that they had done so wh the blsg of their partner.

Dan Savage, the gay sex lumnist, famoly ed the term “monogamish” to scribe the gay approach to extra-maral sex. “They want to be physilly attached, ” Gottman says of gay men who have si-trysts, “but not emotnally attached. Hodg, the historic Supreme Court se that guarante marriage rights for gay upl all 50 stat, both liberal and nservative jtic poted out that gay marriage is a radilly new stutn.

GAY ROMANTIC RELATNSHIPS – STRENGTH, WEAKNS AND OPPORTUNI

The jtic are right: gay marriage is very new and seems to be, at least based on the social science rearch, different certa ways om straight marriage. A good illtratn of the facts is the recent spate of news stori about how gay men are happier than heterosexual men.

"A new study has found that gay and bisexual men are ls likely to be prsed and have psychologil problems than heterosexual men. Alas, none of this good news for gays and spankg fetishists is really backed up by the data the origal study, which, while trigug, is hardly evince that is beg out and gay that mak men happier (let alone women). For one, the study reced participants Montreal, a large and fairly progrsive cy where beg openly gay do not e wh high social or enomic sts.

While gay men the study seemed to experience ls strs and prsn than straight men, there are a variety of alternative explanatns that might expla this fact (like whether they worked out or not; whether they had children or not; e level and stabily). In other words, you might be out at work and at home, but if your grandparents don't know you're gay, then you're marked as closeted.