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class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp kjLxCB"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT hsydfY"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/culture/opn"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Opn</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bwDymH isouMH">I Was Sexually Abed as a Boy—Here’s What I Know About Abed and Abive Men</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB eDhhwT ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH uMYIE byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd hHRAkO haUSoQ eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/elias-altman">Elias Altman</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2018-01-11T07:30:00-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd eNpMLJ jDQNvc">January 11, 2018</time></div></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz kkPlIE"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Image may nta Human Person Silhouette and Wdow" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE bViSGz ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN dWhfyS"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd ftKqkn fNaHcW ptn__cred">Photo: © Eli Reed/Magnum Photos</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kbAoLA article-body__ntent"><div class="ActnBarWrapperContent-lasBkU cAHp"><div class="ActnBarWrapperComponent-cjwxLS bEeSLb"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh SFwwF viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU dPbgNk bookmark large-screen"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" d="M11.7661 16.3228L4.5 20.1695V3.5H19.5V20.1695L12.2339 16.3228L12 16.199L11.7661 16.3228Z" stroke-lep="square"/></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd fcKlBk gkccfO">Save</span></button></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh fOiOQm viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU gdCxmM bookmark mobile"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" d="M11.7661 16.3228L4.5 20.1695V3.5H19.5V20.1695L12.2339 16.3228L12 16.199L11.7661 16.3228Z" stroke-lep="square"/></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd fcKlBk gkccfO">Save</span></button></div></div></div><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>I ed to thk I was special. I ed to thk I me om great Amerin fai, where the relativ up and down my fay tree did wonrful and tertg thgs. My parents loved me. We were middle-class and well-ted. That is the tth. I was sexually abed as a child. I e om fai wh long histori of substance e disorr. I am now a 32-year-old man who has spent 28 years wag to pe the maximum secury lockup of the trmatized self bee of what was done to me by two people whom I tsted, whom my parents tsted, and who betrayed . That is also the tth.</p><p>My olst livg relative is my grandmother, who me om the Midwt and is a Quaker, a peaceful sect of Christians who honor simplicy, reflectn, and silence. Grammy, please know I am only dog what you tght me: I have reflected silently, and now I am standg up to share my tth. What I do here, tellg this story for the first time, I am dog homage to the ials for which members of my fay have given their liv—law, tn, psychology, therapy, wrg, history—and I’m proud of my fay’s acplishments.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>But make no mistake: Love should never be rrelated wh acplishments. A child shouldn’t feel that he or she needs to acplish thgs to be worthy of love. All the wonrful and tertg nversatns and acplishments the world will never fill the void left by abe or neglect, nor will offer absolutn for your trpass.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="ch1ute"></div></div><hr/><p>It’s often said that <em>everythg happens for a reason</em>. That’s a lie. Everythg happens for two reasons, but we ually blame one thg, turng a bld eye to the other. Both sis of my fay spoke openly about the alholism to which they had a predisposn—sometim raised voic, g blossoms bloomg—but never did anyone talk about abe, whether physil, sexual, or emotnal. This is classic misdirectn. Alholism and abe are symbtic, e and effect.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Abe is often tergeneratnal and stutnal, thrivg hierarchil power stctur, such as primate groups—or human fai. Payback is almost always paid forward, down the cha of mand om the alpha to the beta, all the way to the most vulnerable. That’s how go: Be hurt, hurt, <em>hurt</em>. But evolutn n be slow. There always will be a pull to protect our own, whether our schools, at our workplac, or our fay.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="p08w3f"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="vkdvne"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>We know the stak of speakg out are high and the upsi is opaque at bt. To name abe feels like a betrayal of the hight orr—not only do shatter the illns to which we all clg pole society, but reopens up to another asslt. But this is wrong. We mt bear md two thgs: Nothg is as bad as the origal trma, which we survived, and the trma we endured now has a real meang the send time around. It mt.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>As my favore wrer Jam Baldw surmised 1962: “Pa is trivial except sofar as you n e to nnect wh other people’s pa; and sofar as you n do that wh your pa, you n be released om , and then hopefully works the other way around too; sofar as I n tell you what is to suffer, perhaps I n help you to suffer ls.” That is a betiful formula—first for healg, send for salvatn, and third for actn.</p><hr/><p>Abe is always a vert operatn, and is always hypnotic. You n be tricked to thkg that you are crazy, that you are the problem, that your memori are false. You n bee mmerized by what is wrong seemg right, even though you know is not. The aber emanat power, beg a kd of vengeful god, holdg sway over even your self-nceptn.</p><p>To the aber, power is the abily to huiate. But abg others will never satisfy the aber until he nonts the huiatn he himself suffered: that is why abe is serial and pulsive. Payback is paid forward. The only other rponse to abe—when not open rebelln—is to vt that abe back to the self, the form of self-hatred, self-meditn, and self-harm, and I know om experience that even the ward-facg rpons hurt those you love, your girliends and iends.</p><p>This is all very new to me. When a young md and body are trmatized, they go to a kd of shock. The events that have occurred are too far outsi the wdow of experience, and so the md tak over, bent on protectn and survival. Memori n be formed, reprsed, and stored away, like the Ark of the Covenant at the end of the <em>Indiana Jon</em> movie. I revered me only recently, and they me back first my body—twch and bis, ach and pas—the meat of myself tryg to make sense of the actns that the md never procsed fully, like a movie where the sound and motn are out of sync.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="idasb"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-700"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt irGmYt">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff kMpPOV summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw cWJwCN" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Jtice for Steve" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Culture</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ bfdOCB summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Jtice for Steve</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY kLWdHC summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH epKWKp byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Nell Beram</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff kMpPOV summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--no-in 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srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Washg Your Hair Once a Week May Not Be a Good Ia&-Even If It Looks Clean" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Hair</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ bfdOCB summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Washg Your Hair Once a Week May Not Be a Good Ia—Even If It Looks Clean</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY kLWdHC summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH epKWKp byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ana Moral</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff kMpPOV summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw cWJwCN" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="At This Châte Weddg the South of France, the Couple Married Unr a Colorful Floral Chuppah" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SummaryItemRubric-dguGKN lapGFj summary-em__bric"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Weddgs</span></div><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM jRfyII summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ bfdOCB summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">At This Châte Weddg the South of France, the Couple Married Unr a Colorful Floral Chuppah</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY kLWdHC summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH epKWKp byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Alexandra Man</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw fkGtfq ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="rwbc2"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs laPXdt"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="3tbjm"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>The days, I’ve been rebuildg, tryg to synchronize, bee when workg properly the md and body are the same: We are one anism wh five sens. Sometim, I thk I have answers. I don’t. I ed to thk abe happened to other people, not me. I ed to thk other people hurt people, not me. I was sure of . I am pable of great feats of self-ln. In all of this, I am not alone.</p><hr/><p>Men know, but often fet, that when they say no, people hear . Women say no, or a rigned y due to circumstanc, or rema silent to survive (often out of fear of a reprisal), and we proceed wh the grace and goodwill of a two-ton wreckg ball. Throughout human history, men have nscly and unnscly acted out their malice and anger, their own feelgs of ferry, upon women—often, mt be said, aid and abetted by alhol. Payback is paid forward.</p><p>But woke, sober, and righteo men n be the most self-lud of all. “We are not like the bt,” we say. “We hate the bt!” To , the bt are the guys who got the girls junr high bee their voic epened before ours, the guys who secreted hormon while we still had no pubic hair. The bt also huiated <em></em>.</p><p>So, once we get elected to office, or produce an Osr-wng movie, or rise to edor chief, or fill Madison Square Garn wh thoands of people to hear our jok, we feel that we have won, that we are entled to a ltle fun. <em>We are better than the bt. We serve somethg too.</em> We act through willful ignorance, an fensible spensn of morals and a byproduct of a culture, of fai, and of stutns that fail to set the proper boundari, still the proper valu, or mete out proper reprimands when they’re early enough to take, or late enough to matter.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Preachg is not my job. As a lerary agent, I try to fd people who n change the way we thk about the world, often applyg the lsons of the past to make sense of the prent for a better future. So I feel on firmer ground when I paraphrase om David France’s <em>How to Survive a Plague</em>, a book another agent I know helped to shepherd to beg.</p><p>In the 1980s, an illns lled AIDS scend predomantly upon a group of people this untry who had done no harm to anyone; they loved, that is all. Millns died, while others slept, postured, or turned away. The urageo acts of the men and women who refed to be silenced by the stigma and pa associated wh AIDS and wh beg gay end up forcg the U.S. ernment, the medil muny, and the culture to rpect their needs. They fought for and won their rights. They saved liv.</p><p>The revolutn began by breakg the silence. Silence equals ath. My silence is over. I choose life.</p><p><em>Elias Altman is a lerary agent New York Cy.</em></p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="946t68"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier 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molest gay

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (BP)--A social rearcher who has studied sexual behavr for 24 years believ the Boy Suts of Ameri (BSA) has sound reasons for matag s prohibn agast gay sutmasters.

Contents:

GAY UPLE CHARGED WH MOLTG THEIR ADOPTED SONS ALSO PIMPED THEM OUT TO PEDOPHILE RG, REPORT CLAIMS

Scientific rearch do not provi any evince that gay men or lbians are any more likely than heterosexuals to molt children * molest gay *

"Homosexuals are dangero as teachers or youth lears bee they try to get sexually volved wh children" or that "Homosexuals try to play sexually wh children if they nnot get an adult partner.

For the prent discsn, the important pot is that many child molters nnot be meangfully scribed as homosexuals, heterosexuals, or bisexuals ( the ual sense of those terms) bee they are not really pable of a relatnship wh an adult man or woman.

10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED

The children the group studied were unlikely to have been molted by intifiably gay or lbian people. * molest gay *

In summary, each of the studi failed to support the hypothis that homosexual mal are more likely than heterosexual men to molt children or to be sexually attracted to children or adolcents.

GAY UPLE CHARGED WH MOLTG THEIR ADOPTED SONS ALSO PIMPED THEM OUT TO PEDOPHILE RG, REPORT CLAIMS

Amid the sndal surroundg former Rep. Mark Foley, Fay Rearch Council (FRC) print Tony Perks has promoted the falsehood that gay men are more likely than straight men to sexually abe children. * molest gay *

Pediatrics noted that bat about gay people as molters "have ltle to do wh everyday child abe" and lamented that they distract lawmakers and the public om alg wh the real problem of children's sexual mistreatment (Kgman, 1994).

Data om studi g a variety of psychologil measur do not dite that gay people are more likely than heterosexuals to posss any psychologil characteristics that would make them ls pable of ntrollg their sexual urg, reag om the abe of power, obeyg l and laws, teractg effectively wh others, or exercisg good judgment handlg thory.

10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED

* molest gay *

As dited by workplace polici around the Uned Stat, a large and growg number of private and public employers do not perceive a problem wh hirg gay and bisexual people as employe or managers. Th, there is no factual basis for anizatns to avoid hirg homosexual or bisexual people, simply on the basis of their sexual orientatn, for posns that volve rponsibily for or supervisn of others, whether children, adolcents, or adults.

Scientific rearch do not provi any evince that gay men or lbians are any more likely than heterosexuals to molt children * molest gay *

On further examatn, however, s central argument – that "the evince dit that homosexual men molt boys at rat grossly disproportnate to the rat at which heterosexual men molt girls" – don't hold up. The abstract summariz the thors' ncln: "Fdgs dite that homosexual mal who preferred mature partners rpond no more to male children than heterosexual mal who preferred mature partners rpond to female children. Th, even if one accepts the qutnable assumptn that this study is relevant, don't support the FRC's ntentn that gay men are more likely than heterosexual men to be child molters for several reasons:.

The offenrs were not asked their sexual orientatn (gay, straight, bisexual) and the paper do not report any rmatn about the nature of the offenrs' adult sexual relatnships, or even if they had any such relatnships. " The victims of homosexual pedophil "were more likely to be strangers, that they were more likely to have engaged paraphiliac behavr separate om that volved the offence, and that they were more likely to have past nvictns for sexual offenc....

In the passage excerpted by the FRC, the thors were discsg published papers that ed a classifitn system focg entirely on the sex of victims (not whether the perpetrator is straight or gay). Only one study (Erickson et al., 1988) might be terpreted as supportg the FRC argument, and failed to tail s measurement procr and did not differentiate bisexual om homosexual offenrs.

The children the group studied were unlikely to have been molted by intifiably gay or lbian people. * molest gay *

In a 1985 article published Psychologil Reports, Cameron purported to review published data to answer the qutn, "Do those who m homosexual acts disproportnately rporate children to their sexual practic?

It is also noteworthy that, although Cameron assumed that the perpetrators of male-male moltatns were all homosexual, he assumed that not all male-female moltatns were mted by heterosexuals.

This rat is meangls bee no data were obtaed ncerng the actual sexual orientatn of the teachers volved; as before, Cameron assumed that male-male ntacts were perpetrated by homosexuals. His fal choice of sourc appears to have slanted his fdgs toward what Cameron scribed as "the relative absence the scientific lerature of heterosexual teacher-pupil sexual events upled wh persistent, albe equent, homosexual teacher-pupil sexual teractns" (p.

Amid the sndal surroundg former Rep. Mark Foley, Fay Rearch Council (FRC) print Tony Perks has promoted the falsehood that gay men are more likely than straight men to sexually abe children. * molest gay *

Charts were reviewed to terme the relatnships of the children to the alleged offenr, the sex of the offenr, and whether or not the alleged offenr was reported to be gay, lbian, or bisexual.

A gay uple om Geia charged wh moltg their two adopted sons and g them to rerd child porn also allegedly pimped them out to members of a lol pedophile rg, acrdg to a disturbg new report. Usg phallometric tt sensivi to lculate the proportn of te pedophil among var groups of sex offenrs agast children, and takg to nsiratn prevly reported mean numbers of victims per offenr group, the rat of heterosexual to homosexual pedophil was lculated to be approximately 11:1.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* MOLEST GAY

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img[importance=to].lazyload{opacy:1;}{posn:absolute;left:-10000px,width:1px;height:1px;paddg:0;marg:-1px;overflow:hidn;clip:rect(0, 0, 0, 0);whe-space:nowrap;borr-width:0;}{-webk-background-size:ver;background-size:ver;-webk-background-posn:center;background-posn:center;}@media prt{{display:none!important;}}@font-face{font-fay:'NtraDisplay';src:url('/_assets/sign-tokens/goodhoekeepg/static/fonts/Ntra2Display-Tlg-Lg.f913337.woff2') format('woff2');font-weight:400;font-style:normal;font-display:swap;}[data-embed]:not(:fed){display:none;}[data-embed]:fed{display:-webk-var(--data-embed-display, block);display:var(--data-embed-display, block);}</style><div id="__next"><style data-emotn="css-global ploijv">{clear:both;}@media (m-width: 90rem){():not([data-embed]="body-image"){clear:none;}}</style><sectn data-teractive="SiPanel-1" class="css-0 e7czha50"><style data-emotn="css qemy">{visibily:hidn;ntent-visibily:hidn;background-lor:#f6e5;lor:#000;width:20rem;max-width:20rem;height:100%;overflow-x:hidn;overflow-y:scroll;posn:fixed;top:0rem;z-x:5999998;-webk-transn:-webk-transform 0.2s lear;transn:transform 0.2s lear;-webk-transform:translateX(-20rem);-moz-transform:translateX(-20rem);-ms-transform:translateX(-20rem);transform:translateX(-20rem);} >div{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;m-height:100%;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;} ~.sipanelToggleable{-webk-transform:ial;-moz-transform:ial;-ms-transform:ial;transform:ial;-webk-transn:-webk-transform 0.2s lear;transn:transform 0.2s lear;}{-webk-transform:translateX(0);-moz-transform:translateX(0);-ms-transform:translateX(0);transform:translateX(0);visibily:visible;ntent-visibily:to;} ~.sipanelToggleable{-webk-transform:translateX(20rem);-moz-transform:translateX(20rem);-ms-transform:translateX(20rem);transform:translateX(20rem);}@media(m-width: 90rem){ ~.sipanelToggleable{-webk-transform:translateX(7rem);-moz-transform:translateX(7rem);-ms-transform:translateX(7rem);transform:translateX(7rem);}}</style><nav id="sipanel" aria-hidn="te" class="new-sipanel-menu hidn css-qemy eqt11jm15"><div data-foc-lock-disabled="disabled" data-foc-lock="ma"><style data-emotn="css 1kkonqv">{marg:1rem 1rem 0 1rem;paddg:0 0.6rem;width:to;height:2.1875rem;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;marg-right:6rem;} svg{fill:#000000;}</style><a href="/search/" class="css-1kkonqv e1c1bym14"><style data-emotn="css 13htjwu">{width:1rem;height:1rem;}</style><svg alt="Search" tle="Search" data-dynamic-svg class="css-13htjwu eqt11jm0"><e 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pjjyzu">{posn:absolute;right:1.4rem;top:1.2rem;borr-lor:#000000;borr-style:solid;borr-width:0 0.0625rem 0.0625rem 0;paddg:0.2rem;-webk-transn:-webk-transform 0.25s ease--out;transn:transform 0.25s ease--out;cursor:poter;background-lor:transparent;lor:#fff;}.submenu-open {-webk-transform:rotate(45g);-moz-transform:rotate(45g);-ms-transform:rotate(45g);transform:rotate(45g);}.submenu-closed {-webk-transform:rotate(-45g);-moz-transform:rotate(-45g);-ms-transform:rotate(-45g);transform:rotate(-45g);}</style><button role="button" tabInx="0" aria-expand="false" class="css-pjjyzu eqt11jm7"></button><style data-emotn="css 1knzpdr animatn-1dfsy">{posn:relative;list-style:none;marg:0rem;paddg:0rem;max-height:0rem;-webk-transn:max-height 0.3s cubic-bezier(0, 1, 0, 1),opacy 0.2s lear 0.15s,marg 0.3s lear;transn:max-height 0.3s cubic-bezier(0, 1, 0, 1),opacy 0.2s lear 0.15s,marg 0.3s lear;height:unset;overflow:hidn;opacy:0;visibily:hidn;-webk-animatn:1s animatn-1dfsy;animatn:1s animatn-1dfsy;-webk-animatn-fill-mo:forwards;animatn-fill-mo:forwards;width:lc(100% + 2rem);marg-left:-1rem;background-lor:#f9b9b6;lor:#000000;}.submenu-open {max-height:27rem;overflow-y:scroll;height:to;opacy:1;visibily:visible;marg-top:0.75rem;}.submenu-closed {max-height:0rem;}@-webk-keyam animatn-1dfsy{99%{visibily:hidn;display:none;}100%{visibily:visible;display:block;}}@keyam animatn-1dfsy{99%{visibily:hidn;display:none;}100%{visibily:visible;display:block;}}</style><ul class="css-1knzpdr eqt11jm10"><style data-emotn="css eqhohi">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;cursor:poter;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;height:2.5rem;paddg:0 1rem;} {-webk-transn:background-lor 0.2s lear;transn:background-lor 0.2s lear;} {background-lor:#f6e5;lor:#000;} a{opacy:0.8;}{background-lor:#f9b9b6;lor:#ffffff;}</style><li class="nav-em css-eqhohi eqt11jm8"><a href="/applianc/" class="css-cv3h5u 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data-vars-ga-ux-element="Breadcmbs" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Life" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="e9l0kn00 css-10asp0m e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">Life</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="1" /></li><style data-emotn="css huh8md">{display:none;}{paddg:0.25rem;ntent:">";}</style><li emProp="emListElement" emSpe emType=" class="css-huh8md e9l0kn01"><a emProp="em" href="/life/a47949/i-am-nobody-excerpt-greg-gilhooly/" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Breadcmbs" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Men Are Sexually Abed Sports, Too: I Was Molted by My Hockey Coach" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="e9l0kn00 css-10asp0m e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">Men Are Sexually Abed Sports, Too: I Was Molted by My Hockey Coach</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="2" /></li></ol></nav><style data-emotn="css rdayf9">{font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.8125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.125rem;le-height:1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.25rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-rdayf9 exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>Men Are Sexually Abed Sports, Too: I Was Molted by My Hockey Coach<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css ovpftp">{font-fay:Archer,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;font-size:1rem;le-height:1.3;} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-ovpftp exadjwu8"><p>There is so much that I don't want to remember, but there is also so much I will never, ever be able to fet. </p></div><style data-emotn="css 1hf6p7y">{lor:#323232;font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;paddg-top:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}} a{text-ratn-lor:#125C68;text-ratn-thickns:0.08rem;} span{le-height:1.6;}</style><div class="css-1hf6p7y exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css s5blrc">{font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;paddg-top:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><addrs class="css-s5blrc ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css m6whui">{display:le-block;font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;paddg-right:0.3125rem;paddg-top:0;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><span class="css-m6whui ehvvd9m1">By Greg Gilhooly</span><style data-emotn="css lfeb1s">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;lor:#595959;}</style><time class="css-lfeb1s exadjwu6">Published: Feb 23, 2018</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css wkpw2c">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><div class="no-prt css-wkpw2c 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svg>path{fill:#ffffff;}{marg-left:1rem;} svg>path{fill:#000000;-webk-transn:0.3s ease--out fill;transn:0.3s ease--out fill;}{outle:0.125rem dotted #000000;outle-offset:0.2rem;}</style><button data-tooltip-id="article-hear-save" class="ntentSaveButton css-dlqg8b e12nq69g1"><style data-emotn="css 7g4d0s">{width:1rem;height:1rem;marg-right:0.625rem;} path{fill:#ffffff;} path{fill:#ffffff;}</style><svg xmlns=" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 48 62" class="css-7g4d0s e10k4xbi2"><path fill="#000" fill-le="evenodd" d="M24 46.52 48 61V0H0v61.44l24-14.92ZM5.67 50.9 24 39.5l18.33 11.4V5.7H5.67v45.2Z" clip-le="evenodd"></path></svg>Save Article</button><style data-emotn="css v7baa6">{width:160px;text-align:left;font-fay:Archer,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:0.045rem;font-size:0.70284rem;le-height:1.1;lor:#595959;text-transform:none;}</style></div></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css 149neno">{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;max-width:m(lc(20.625rem * 2 - 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90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body longform-body css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">In this exclive excerpt of<strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor"> </strong></em><style data-emotn="css 1me6ynq">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#125C68;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:#125C68;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:#595959;}</style><a data-trackg-id="recirc-text-lk" href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="I Am Nobody: Conontg the Sexually Abive Coach Who Stole My Life" data-vars-ga-product-id="2a04c23c-4764-4b9d-b410-d98c8f57a516" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="sale | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"8d84aeee-c0a0-416c-9167-5da996959aba","se_id":"8342522f-11a7-4c85-8c15-51f36ee1d53f","metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","metadata":{}}}" data-vars-ga-product-brand="Greystone Books" data-vars-ga-product-price="$12.70" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="4f45fefb-332a-45d7-ad1b-f3a1c672e230" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="Greystone Books" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Abe" class="body-lk product-lks css-1me6ynq ebsw2pb0"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">I Am Nobody: Conontg the Sexually Abive Coach Who Stole My Life</strong></a><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">, Greg Gilhooly wr a heartbreakg acunt of the abe he endured om his ach and mentor, Graham Jam. Jam eventually nfsed to sexually assltg former NHL players </em><a data-trackg-id="recirc-text-lk" href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Sheldon Kennedy" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">Sheldon Kennedy</a><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"> and </em><a data-trackg-id="recirc-text-lk" href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Theo Flry" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">Theo Flry</a><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"> and was nvicted of both crim, but he was never nvicted for his sexual asslt of Gilhooly, leavg Gilhooly whout the closure he served. (Charg wh rpect to Gilhooly were stayed by the Crown as part of the proceedgs which he plead guilty to abg Holt and Flry.) </em><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">In his memoir, Gilhooly draws om his experience as a survivor and a lawyer, liverg a powerful dictment of a legal system that, he argu, do not aquately al wh serial sexual child abe. </em></p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"></em></p><p data-no-id="4" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"></em><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">This acunt volv explic tails about sexual abe and may be upsettg for some to read.</strong></em></p><p data-no-id="6" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor"></strong></em></p><style data-emotn="css 1jugtpg">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;}{float:left;text-transform:upperse;font-weight:bold;marg-right:0.9375rem;marg-bottom:-0.625rem;marg-top:0;}{font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:6.56249rem;le-height:0.8;}@-moz-document url-prefix(){{marg-top:0.625rem;}} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="8" class="dropp css-1jugtpg et3p2gv0">There was never a clear start to what he was dog, never a moment to look back on where I uld say to myself, "There, 's so obv what he was dog, I should have never let happen." But then aga, when I look back on all of this, all I n see now is that every sgle teractn wh him was jt such a moment, when "Of urse, 's all so clear what he was dog. How uld I have been so weak, so stupid, to let this all happen?" is the only possible rponse.</p><style data-emotn="css 9417ib">{--data-embed-display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{clear:both;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{clear:both;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:50%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:0rem;float:right;clear:right;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:50%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:0rem;float:right;clear:right;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:50%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:0rem;float:right;clear:right;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:45%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:lc(-30% - 1rem);float:right;clear:right;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:45%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:lc(-30% - 1rem);float:right;clear:right;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:45%;marg-left:1rem;marg-right:lc(-30% - 1rem);float:right;clear:right;}} a span{right:1rem;} img{width:to;height:85vh;} a{display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;posn:var(--posn, relative);} img:not(.ewcw41w1){display:block;width:100%;height:to;-webk-align-self:flex-start;-ms-flex-em-align:flex-start;align-self:flex-start;}</style><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="10" class="align-right size-medium embed css-9417ib e1xqj1sx4"><style data-emotn="css uwraif">{width:100%;display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;}</style><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="greg-gilhooly-1" tle="greg-gilhooly-1" loadg="lazy" width="1885" height="2756" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><style data-emotn="css 78jldq">{paddg-left:0rem;}</style><div class="css-78jldq e1xqj1sx2"><style data-emotn="css 11igspl">{width:0;m-width:100%;paddg-top:0.625rem;font-fay:Archer,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.4;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:CharterItalic,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><div class="css-11igspl e1xqj1sx1">Me at age 13, before him. I loved the game.</div><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-19eokd0 e6iqd2">Mr. Carl Wullum</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="12" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">In a sense, our relatnship jt evolved om our ial meetgs. I voured ach Graham's progrsive theori about hockey systems and his love of fast-skatg fensemen and speedy forwards. I craved the attentn he gave me our meetgs, beg treated as a peer, as an adult. I felt fortunate that he was willg to help me progrs wh my hockey and my amics, that he was willg to mentor me and brg out the bt me. So, when he suggted that we meet at a school field for a trag ssn, where he would show me var stretchg exercis and body-posng techniqu to rporate to my off-ice workouts, I was ecstatic. </p><p data-no-id="14" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Beyond wantg to excel at hockey, I was still, ep si, the secure, overweight young boy who my own md need to work extra hard on my physil ndng. No matter how tall, strong, and athletic I had beme by age 14, my md I was still the unordated, pudgy boy who hadn't yet grown to his body. I was the perfect willg subject. </p><p data-no-id="16" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Graham had picked up on that, and he was very good at takg the stori of my past and g them to hone on my securi and nvce me that I need his trag methods. </p><style data-emotn="css 1y767x5">{font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;marg-bottom:1rem;marg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.1875rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1.1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="18" class="article-h2 css-1y767x5 et3p2gv0">1980: Groomed for His Attacks</h2><p data-no-id="20" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"You know, a guy like you wh big legs has to work hard to keep up wh the play." </p><p data-no-id="22" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"You know, a guy like you has to fight for everythg you'll ever get, bee nobody's ever gog to help you like I will."</p><p data-no-id="24" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"You know, jt bee you're smart and you know what to do don't mean your body is gog to do all on s own."</p><p data-no-id="26" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Graham would never participate any of the physil exercis or drills, blamg his asthma (or a hernia or an arm a slg or some other exce). I have no ia why never dawned on me back then that the ailments would no way have prevented him om, say, at least dog some of the stretchg wh me. I gus I was jt so ught up the moment and what I was dog that I never even noticed that he preferred to jt lean back and stare at me. I would stretch, I would do squats, I would do ph-ups and s-ups, all unr his watchful eye. I viewed this as my opportuny to learn om an expert and imprs a leadg figure the hockey muny, one who uld give me everythg I had ever dreamed of.</p><style data-emotn="css 1736von">{--data-embed-display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;clear:both;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}} a span{right:1rem;} img{width:to;height:85vh;} a{display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;posn:var(--posn, relative);} img:not(.ewcw41w1){display:block;width:100%;height:to;-webk-align-self:flex-start;-ms-flex-em-align:flex-start;align-self:flex-start;}</style><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="28" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="greg-gilhooly-team-2" tle="greg-gilhooly-team-2" loadg="lazy" width="3988" height="2864" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><style data-emotn="css swqnqv">@media(m-width: 20rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}</style><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><div class="css-11igspl e1xqj1sx1">Me (ont-left), the midst of the worst, but always wh a se for others to see.</div><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-19eokd0 e6iqd2">Mr. Carl Wullum</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="30" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">One night durg a trag ssn, he phed me until I was exhsted. I had worked my legs so hard that I uld already feel them stiffeng as I sat down, leaned back, and gulped for air. I was sweatg hard, my shirt was soaked, and stoppg felt so good. The tense exertn gave way to the ual post-workout phoria that I craved so much and that felt so toxitg. </p><p data-no-id="32" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Graham started gog on about the physlogy of a hockey player. He noted that a hockey player was required to perform everythg on skat, two small edg of steel.</p><p data-no-id="34" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"A hockey player looks wh the ey, which starts everythg. Power to move where need om the re and torso, and this power mt be transferred to the hips and down to the legs. From there, all of that power has to be rried by the feet the skat, which each s on top of the ice on th edg of steel, which transfer all of that power to the ice. A hockey player requir very strong feet, very special type of feet that n whstand the enormo forc. Can I take a look at your feet?"</p><p data-no-id="36" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Not a mand. Not a mand. A requt. A simple requt that at the time ma enormo sense to me. </p><p data-no-id="38" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"Sure." </p><p data-no-id="40" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I reached down and took off my socks. I leaned back and put my feet the air for spectn. He took one foot and cradled , stroked . He squeezed , twisted slightly, ran his palm om heel to to. He prsed to the arch. He released the first foot and grabbed the other. Same thg, an spectn, a slow, ep analysis of my foot. He stared at each foot for what seemed like a long time. It all seemed so scientific, so analytil. </p><p data-no-id="42" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"You've got good feet. Big, strong feet. They're perfect. Perfect." The physil barrier was broken. </p><p data-no-id="44" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">From then on, post-workout foot massag beme part of the route. It didn't seem strange to me but stead ma perfect sense after what he'd told me about the physil mechanics of hockey. My feet felt so good after his massag, and I'd thank him for makg me feel better and helpg me rever om the pa of the drills. </p><p data-no-id="46" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Said another way, I thanked him for touchg me.</p><p data-no-id="48" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">This new pattern of foot massag ntued for several months. Some foot massag lasted longer than others, some volved wedgg a foot agast his cht when he uld e only one arm bee of jury, some seemed a ltle different om the rt, but nothg, absolutely nothg, seemed to me to be at all appropriate or anythg other than a foot massage. </p><p data-no-id="50" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">But of urse, Graham wanted more, and eventually "more" happened.</p><style data-emotn="css 108o02t">{--data-embed-display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{clear:both;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{clear:both;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:50%;marg-right:1rem;marg-left:0rem;float:left;clear:left;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:50%;marg-right:1rem;marg-left:0rem;float:left;clear:left;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:50%;marg-right:1rem;marg-left:0rem;float:left;clear:left;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:45%;marg-right:1rem;marg-left:lc(-30% - 1rem);float:left;clear:left;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:45%;marg-right:1rem;marg-left:lc(-30% - 1rem);float:left;clear:left;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:45%;marg-right:1rem;marg-left:lc(-30% - 1rem);float:left;clear:left;}} a span{right:1rem;} img{width:to;height:85vh;} a{display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;posn:var(--posn, relative);} img:not(.ewcw41w1){display:block;width:100%;height:to;-webk-align-self:flex-start;-ms-flex-em-align:flex-start;align-self:flex-start;}</style><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="52" class="align-left size-medium embed css-108o02t e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="greg-gilhooly-4" tle="greg-gilhooly-4" loadg="lazy" width="1251" height="1051" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-78jldq e1xqj1sx2"><div class="css-11igspl e1xqj1sx1">1980, when the abe was at s worst.</div><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-19eokd0 e6iqd2">Courty of Greg Gilhooly</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="54" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"More" started out as a trag ssn jt like the rt. </p><p data-no-id="56" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"Here, why don't you lie down and I'll work the pa out of your feet."</p><p data-no-id="58" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I sensed somethg was different even as he started normally, wh my feet. He seemed different, a b aloof, not pletely prent. He started to move beyond my feet and slowly work his way up my legs. I oze. I did nothg but lie there, my ey closed, wonrg what was gog on. I was aaid. I was nfed. I opened my ey, tryg to get my beargs and unrstand what was happeng. But all I ught was a glimpse of him, his face, his ey. </p><p data-no-id="60" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's his ey that I remember the most. His dark, ad ey, the kd of ey that show absolutely no emotn at all, that seem to look right through you as if you aren't there — the ey a shark has, ld, searchg ey that see whout engagg, ey that are always on the hunt for prey. I will never fet those ey. I n never fet those ey.</p><p data-no-id="62" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">He moved slowly up my legs, never sayg a word. I kept my own ey shut as much as I uld after seeg those ey. They sred me. But was too late. I had seen his ey, the ad ey, and they would be wh me for the rt of my life.</p><p data-no-id="64" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I had no ia what was happeng. I mean, I knew exactly what was happeng, but I had no ia what was happeng.</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="66" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css 1eiql25">{text-align:center;marg:0rem;paddg-top:0.9375rem;paddg-bottom:0.9375rem;}</style><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css t00uqi">{font-fay:MajtiBanner,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.625rem;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0rem;text-align:left;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.8125rem;le-height:1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.125rem;le-height:1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><blockquote class="css-t00uqi e1pe3zr90">There was a rad on, but I uld no longer hear a thg.</blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="68" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">Where is this g om? Why am I not phg him away? What should I do? What uld I do? Why is my body rpondg? I mt want this. I mt like this. This mt be who I am. I have to get out of here. But what will he do? What will he say? What will I do? Who will believe me? How do I expla why I was wh him? How do I expla all of the meetgs I've had wh him for months? Who n I speak to who will unrstand? How do I make this go away? Why am I rpondg? Why is my body rpondg? Why n't I stop rpondg? Why n't I say anythg? Why n't I stop him? WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?</em></p><p data-no-id="70" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It all happened utter silence. There was a rad on, no doubt to muffle sounds, but I uld no longer hear a thg. All I uld hear was the blood pumpg through my templ, poundg my ears, the sensatn of beg removed om the world around me and locked my own space. At least, that's how I remember . Or maybe that memory me om the hundreds, if not thoands, of nightmar I've had ever sce. What I know wh absolute certaty is that I uldn't hear a thg.</p><p data-no-id="72" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">He bbed my legs. He fondled me. He masturbated me. He exposed himself. He bbed himself on my face and serted his penis my mouth. He returned his foc to my feet. He masturbated and ejaculated over my feet and shs.</p><p data-no-id="74" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I vered myself back up as quickly as I uld. But I didn't n. I didn't know what to do. I sat there until he me back . And then we talked. Rather, he talked, I listened.</p><p data-no-id="76" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"You're progrsg so well. You have so much talent, your legs are so strong, you have limls potential. You know, people like have to support each other. We're not like others. They would never unrstand who we are. They don't see thgs the way we do. I know you're a b lost right now, but I unrstand you. I see who you are and what you n be. People like have to look out for each other. We have to support each other. But people like , workg together, n make anythg happen."</p><p data-no-id="78" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span>Maybe he had been tellg me all along and I jt hadn't unrstood. I thought "people like " had referred to the talented jock as geek, geek as jock. Now, wh what had jt happened, I was pretty sure he was tellg me that I was gay.</span></p><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="80" class="align-right size-medium embed css-9417ib e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="greg-gilhooly-3" tle="greg-gilhooly-3" loadg="lazy" width="906" height="1197" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-78jldq e1xqj1sx2"><div class="css-11igspl e1xqj1sx1">High school graduatn.</div><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-19eokd0 e6iqd2">Courty of Greg Gilhooly</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="82" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">And then he nfirmed : "If our secret ever gets out, everyone will thk you're gay. Nobody will want you on their team or their program. It would be the end of everythg for you bee nobody wants to al wh people like ."</p><p data-no-id="84" class="p1 css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I walked home, a zombie tached om the world around me. I cried like I'd never cried before my life. It was a long walk, a route I ually jogged at a leisurely pace, but I uldn't breathe properly. It was very ol outsi, that I remember, but that's about all. I uldn't feel anythg. I was off my own world, far removed om this one. Lights were blurry, and once aga I uldn't really hear anythg. Was I shock? Probably. I cried solu. There is so much that I don't remember, that I don't want to remember, that I have actively tried to fet over all of the years. But there is also so much I will never, ever be able to fet.</p><p data-no-id="86" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Bee there would be more than jt a sgle cint. Much more. </p><h2 data-no-id="88" class="article-h2 css-1y767x5 et3p2gv0">2012: Brgg Him to Jtice </h2><p data-no-id="90" class="p1 css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Graham's sentencg hearg was set for the morng of Febary 22, 2012. Even though my charg had been stayed, I wasn't gog to miss .</p><p data-no-id="92" class="p1 css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">This urt appearance, now his send for sexual asslt, had always been Graham's ultimate sty, the realizatn of his te self. His fg moment wasn't ever gog to be achievg achg greatns, hoistg the Stanley Cup, baskg the glory of havg revolutnized the sport of hockey, or wng aclas for velopg boys to men. No, was always Graham's sty to be urt as a nvicted serial child sexual predator facg sentencg, this time wh the Honorable Jtice Cathere Carlson pridg, Wnipeg, my hometown, the place where I had grown up, the place where had all happened.</p><p data-no-id="94" class="p1 css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"All rise for the Honorable Jtice Cathere Carlson."</p><p data-no-id="96" class="p1 css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Graham had left the urtroom durg a break the proceedgs and was now beg brought om the back of the room down a hallway next to the viewg gallery, separated only by a small divir. Knowg that I had wanted to look him the eye, one of the bailiffs motned for me to e over to where I uld do so. My heart was poundg. The moment I had been wag for. And then there he was, g down the hallway, surround by secury on each si. I was ready. I had been repeatg to myself over and over:</p><p data-no-id="98" class="p2 css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">I'm now a fully grown man. I am ready for this. He n't hurt me </em><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">anymore. Here is my moment. I have waed a lifetime for this. Do .</em></p><style data-emotn="css 18pb4rg">{borr:0;borr-bottom:th solid black;marg:1.875rem 0;clear:both;}</style><hr data-no-id="100" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="102" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><a data-trackg-id="recirc-text-lk" href=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="I Am Nobody: Conontg the Sexually Abive Coach Who Stole My Life" data-vars-ga-product-id="2a04c23c-4764-4b9d-b410-d98c8f57a516" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="sale | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"8d84aeee-c0a0-416c-9167-5da996959aba","se_id":"8342522f-11a7-4c85-8c15-51f36ee1d53f","metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","metadata":{}}}" data-vars-ga-product-brand="Greystone Books" data-vars-ga-product-price="$12.70" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="4f45fefb-332a-45d7-ad1b-f3a1c672e230" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="Greystone Books" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Abe" class="body-lk product-lks css-1me6ynq ebsw2pb0"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">I Am Nobody: Conontg the Sexually Abive Coach Who Stole My Life</strong></a> <em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">will be released on March 6. It's available for pre-orr <a data-trackg-id="recirc-text-lk" href=" rel="nofollow" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="here" data-vars-ga-product-id="2a04c23c-4764-4b9d-b410-d98c8f57a516" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="sale | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"8d84aeee-c0a0-416c-9167-5da996959aba","se_id":"8342522f-11a7-4c85-8c15-51f36ee1d53f","metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","metadata":{}}}" data-vars-ga-product-brand="Greystone Books" data-vars-ga-product-price="$12.70" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="4f45fefb-332a-45d7-ad1b-f3a1c672e230" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="Greystone Books" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Abe" class="body-lk product-lks css-1me6ynq ebsw2pb0">here</a>. <strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor"> </strong>Gilhooly went on to graduate om Prceton Universy and the Universy of Toronto, Faculty of Law, and has held senr posns numero rporatns addn to beg a public speaker and media mentator. He liv Oakville, Ontar.</em></p><p data-no-id="104" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">From the book </em>I Am Nobody: Conontg the Sexually Abive Coach Who Stole My Life<em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"> by Greg Gilhooly. Copyright © 2018 by Greg Gilhooly. Published on March 6, 2018, by Greystone. Reprted and adapted wh permissn.</em></p><p data-no-id="106" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">If you or someone you know is at risk of beg sexually abed, ntact the Rape, Abe & Inct Natnal Network's (RAINN) Natnal Sexual Asslt hotle for help (800-656-HOPE/4673)</strong></em><em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor"><strong data-redactor-tag="strong" data-verified="redactor">. Vis <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn=" class="body-el-lk longform-body-el-lk body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0"></a> for more rmatn.</strong></em></em></p><style data-emotn="css ciejky">{clear:both;marg-top:1.25rem;}</style><div id="journey-le" class="css-ciejky e1cslvxz0"></div></div></div><div></div><div data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1pqv15d">{marg-bottom:1.875rem;marg-top:1.875rem;paddg:0 0.938rem;}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0 2.5rem;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1pqv15d e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css 14vh9p">{text-align:center;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;}</style><div class="css-14vh9p e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1sowyjy">{marg-bottom:1.25rem;}</style><div class="css-1sowyjy e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css bpa9fk">{marg:0 to;font-weight:bold;width:-webk-f-ntent;width:-moz-f-ntent;width:f-ntent;borr-bottom:th solid black;font-fay:NtraDisplay,Helveti,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:1rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-bottom:0;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-bpa9fk e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">Watch Next</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css 115x38v">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;marg:0rem;m-height:to;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.39461rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{marg-top:0.625rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.575rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.92897rem;le-height:1.1;marg-top:0.9375rem;}}</style><h6 class="css-115x38v e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css b3y6x">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;} {posn:absolute;marg:0rem;}{ntent:"";display:block;height:0rem;width:100%;}@media(max-width: 30rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((45% / 1.16) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 30rem) and (max-width: 48rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((45% / 1.43) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem) and (max-width: 64rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((33% / 1.40) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((25% / 1.36) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((25% / 1.46) + 20px + 1.66em);}}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-b3y6x e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in.

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