Is Your Man Gay, Straight, or Bisexual? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• IS MUNI LONG GAY? ON RUMORS ABOUT BEG LBIAN

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

Many quiri I have received over and over aga through the years beg somethg like this: “I've always liked olr men, but many gay iends close to my age are cril of me and spic of my motiv. Var labels have been ascribed to tergeneratnal upl, whether straight, gay or bisexual: tergeneratnal, age-gap, age-discrepant, or, more often than not, “May-December” relatnships.

Inially, I was unnvced the relatnships were ser, but that was bee I held stereotypil views: an olr gay man who was lookg for a trophy-mate and has the money to take re of his boy toy and a younger man who was lookg for a sugar daddy.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

Based on the number of tim this qutn drops to my mailbox, the reasons for the age-discrepant attractns nsum a great al of bandwidth the thoughts of a lot of young gay and bisexual men. Was pletg his doctoral dissertatn, “May-December: Navigatg Life as an Intergeneratnal Gay Couple, ” he thoroughly rearched what proved to be the limed available lerature on tergeneratnal upl. In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn.

And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay. ” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way. Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them. A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way.

So this is a way of bondg wh men—ironilly, through sex—and happens not bee the man is gay but bee he don’t know any other way to get this need met. Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh.

And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy.

IS MUNI LONG GAY? ON RUMORS ABOUT BEG LBIAN

Often ed to refer to asexual people  a siar manner as “gay” or “straight” are ed to refer to homosexual or heterosexual people. Ally: A person who supports and rpects sexual diversy, acts acrdgly to challenge homophobic and heterosexist remarks and behavrs, and is willg to explore and unrstand the forms of bias wh themselv. An umbrella term that refers to members of a subculture the gay and bisexual male muni and is often fed as more of an attu or sense of fort wh natural masculy and bodi.

Bicur: An dividual who typilly intifi as gay or straight while showg some cursy for a relatnship or sexual activy wh a person of the genr they do not favor.

Gay: At tim, “gay” is ed to refer to all people, regardls of sex, who have their primary sexual and or romantic attractns to people of the same sex. The term n also exclively refer to men who are emotnally, romantilly, sexually, affectnately, or relatnally attracted to other men, or who intify as members of the gay muny. Heteronormativy: The assumptn, dividuals or stutns, that everyone is heterosexual, or that heterosexualy is superr to homosexualy and bisexualy.