Roxane Gay and Debbie Millman Are Engaged

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"It wasn’t how we planned but was perfect," Gay said of their timate elopement last year.

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'I DIDN’T THK MARRIAGE WAS IN THE CARDS FOR ME': AUTHOR ROXANE GAY CELEBRAT FIRST ANNIVERSARY AFTER ELOPG DURG PANMIC

* roxane gay marriage *

"It wasn’t how we planned but was perfect, " Gay said of their timate elopement last year. In se you missed , Roxane Gay is a married woman, and as she shared on Instagram on Sunday, she’s been one for a whole year now.

GLORIA STEEM TO MARRY ROXANE GAY AND DEBBIE MILLMAN JEWISH CEREMONY

She too shared a lovg note about the uple’s anniversary and a photo of her their garn surround by huge balloons that spelled out “Happy Anniversary” bee Gay lov balloons.

ROXANE GAY IS ENGAGED! MEET HER FIANCé DEBBIE MILLMAN

Gay did share last year that the uple eloped but would have a bigger ceremony the future.

“I am not super relig but Debbie is Jewish and so Gloria Steem is actually marryg next year, ” Gay said. It’s tertg to thk that Gay almost ignored Millman’s advanc after they met. You should go for , ’” Gay said.

THE AUDACY.SUBSCRIBESIGN {"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","URL":","MAENTYOFPAGE":","HEADLE":"THE HONEYMOON HASN'T END","SCRIPTN":"ON FDG GRAVY A GOOD (EXCELLENT) MARRIAGE","IMAGE":[{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":"}],"DATEPUBLISHED":"2023-02-16T19:59:38+00:00","DATEMODIFIED":"2023-02-16T19:59:38+00:00","ISACCSIBLEFORFREE":FALSE,"THOR":[{"@TYPE":"PERSON","NAME":"ROXANE GAY","URL":","SCRIPTN":"WRER, EDOR, CULTURAL CRIC. I'M A FAN OF BABY ELEPHANTS, BUT REALLY, WHO ISN'T?","INTIFIER":"ER:1849120","IMAGE":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"}}],"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"THE AUDACY.","URL":","SCRIPTN":"WRG THAT BOLDLY DISREGARDS NORMAL RTRATS. ","TERACTNSTATISTIC":{"@TYPE":"INTERACTNCOUNTER","NAME":"SUBSCRIBERS","TERACTNTYPE":","ERINTERACTNCOUNT":10000},"INTIFIER":"PUB:237330","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"},"IMAGE":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","NTENTURL":","THUMBNAILURL":"},"SAMEAS":["]}}SHARE THIS POSTTHE HONEYMOON HASN'T COPY LKFACEBOOKEMAILNOTOTHERTHE HONEYMOON HASN'T END

Author and cultural mentator Roxane Gay and her girliend, wrer and artist Debbie Millman, are engaged. "Gay is the thor of Bad Femist, Hunger, Difficult Women, World of Wakanda, and Not That Bad.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* ROXANE GAY MARRIAGE

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r="9"></circle></g></svg></div><div translated class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__size-14--Ume6q ontend-pencraft-Text-module__le-height-20--p0dP8 ontend-pencraft-Text-module__weight-normal--s54Wf ontend-pencraft-Text-module__font-text--QmNJR ontend-pencraft-Text-module__lor-sendary--WRADg ontend-pencraft-Text-module__ret--dW0zZ ontend-pencraft-Text-module__body4--Pl3xY">Other</div></button></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><a role="button" href=" class="post-ufi-button style-button post-ufi-ment-button has-label wh-borr"><svg role="img" style="height: 20px; width: 20px;" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="#000000" stroke-width="2" stroke="#000" xmlns=" class="in"><g><tle></tle><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-msage-circle"><path d="m3 21 1.9-5.7a8.5 8.5 0 1 1 3.8 3.8z"></path></svg></g></svg><div class="label">58</div></a></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-8--HFpIK"><a role="button" href="javascript:void(0)" class="post-ufi-button style-button no-in has-label wh-borr"><div class="label">Share</div></a></div></div></div></div><div class="visibily-check"></div><div class class><div class="available-ntent"><div dir="to" class="body markup"><div class="ptned-image-ntaer"><figure><a class="image-lk is-viewable-img image2" target="_blank" href=" data-ponent-name="Image2ToDOM" rel><div class="image2-set"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" /><img src=" width="1456" height="971" data-attrs="{"src":"" class="sizg-normal" alt srcset=" 424w, 848w, 1272w, 1456w" siz="100vw" fetchprry="high" /></picture><div class="image-lk-expand"><svg xmlns=" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="#FFFFFF" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-maximize2"><polyle pots="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyle><polyle pots="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyle><le x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></le><le x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></le></svg></div></div></a></figure></div><p><span>Last year, I read an say by Tish Harrison Warren who </span><a href=" rel>married the wrong person</a><span>. It was a very heartfelt piece of wrg about a marriage of seventeen years between two people who are ill-sued and don’t necsarily like each other very much but they slog out bee they are honorg their mment to each other. She wrote, “I want to normalize signifint perds of nfn, exhstn, grief and unfulfillment marriage.” I unrstand what she’s sayg, that marriage is hard, that isn’t all romance and sunshe, that perhaps marriage is tt when you’re both exhsted and seethg wh dissatisfactn, but still you don’t break apart.</span></p><p>But I stggle when I read says like this, and there are so many, about how difficult marriage is, about how te mment is measured by one’s willgns and pacy to endure sufferg by way of patibily or growg apart or the small betrayals that n accumulate over the urse of a marriage or other long term relatnship. I nnot relate to such profound unhapps marriage. And I want better for anyone who rri more sadns than joy by stayg wh the a partner they don’t like and/or love and/or want to be wh. </p><p>So much cultural lore about marriage suggts that the stutn is mostly miserable. There are endls jok and punchl and mem all tellg that to be married is to be profoundly unhappy, to be unduly burned, to be perpetually aggrieved and taken advantage of. Sadly, that is, fact, the se for some marriag but is the se for most marriag? I sure hope not. </p><p>People talk, openly, about hatg their spo and/or their children. They elaborate, great tail, as to why and how they veloped such acrimony. There is a sense of gleeful martyrdom as people pla about their “ball and cha,” the person keepg them om some better, eer life. And then there is the nox phrase, “happy wife, happy life,” that men, mostly, e to expla why they ter to their spo, as if they uldn’t possibly want to make their spoe happy for any reason other than self-tert. </p><p>On TikTok, there are all kds of people who share tails of their marriag that other people might take issue wh. Most of the tails volve weird jealoi, pennci and dysfunctnal attus around money. Apparently there are apps you n e to nstantly know where your spoe is and how much battery power their phone has—a human LoJack. I n’t image havg that kd of time or mental energy or fundamental distst. There are lots of strange practic that treat fanc as a cudgel to keep one or both spo le acrdg to arbrary preferenc about how money should be handled. It is genuely alarmg to see how many straight people don’t tst their spo to have iends of the oppose genr. By foregog such iendships they claim they are protectg the sancty of their marriage. They are makg sure there are no temptatns. But if a iendship would tempt you to break your vows, wouldn’t the problem be the marriage, not the iendship?</p><p>Marriage is hard, they say. Marriage is hard work. Marriage is a toxic hellspe. Certaly, there is also a lot of lore about marriage as a perfect state of beg, a blissful idyll where no one ever bickers or yawns too loudly or leav socks the middle of the bedroom floor. I am ls troubled by overly optimistic ias of marriage, mostly bee I know how unrealistic they are. The same nnot be said for the darker versns.</p><p><span>My experience of marriage is vastly different om what nventnal wisdom tells me should be. And the disnnect between cultural lore about marriage and my experience of , often leads me to believe that maybe I’m dog marriage wrong. I don’t fd hard. It requir effort but all good thgs require effort and I am more than happy to expend that energy. In tth, I am only sayg requir effort bee I feel like I should say that. It never feels like a chore or a burn. It feels effortls. And I’m not sayg I am a perfect marriage. I’m jt sayg that every night, I fall asleep and I am exced for the next day when I get to hang out wh my wife aga and do activi. (Y, that was a </span><em>Stepbrothers</em><span> reference.)</span></p><div data-ponent-name="SubscribeWidget" class="subscribe-widget"><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-jtify-center--SQPji"><div class="ontend-ponents-ee_email_form-module__ntaer--OfBh4"><form actn="/api/v1/ee?nojs=te" method="post" noValidate class="form ontend-ponents-ee_email_form-module__form--LDIzl"><put type="hidn" name="first_url" /><put type="hidn" name="first_referrer" /><put type="hidn" name="current_url" /><put type="hidn" name="current_referrer" /><put type="hidn" name="referral_" /><put type="hidn" name="source" value="subscribe-widget" /><put type="hidn" name="referrg_pub_id" /><put type="hidn" name="addnal_referrg_pub_ids" /><div class="ontend-ponents-ee_email_form-module__siBySiWrap--yhsgv"><put type="email" name="email" placeholr="Type your email..." class="pencraft ontend-ponents-ee_email_form-module__emailInput--BLQGf" /><button tabInx="0" type="subm" class="button rightButton primary subscribe-btn ontend-ponents-ee_email_form-module__button--WcLG9"><span class="button-text ">Subscribe</span></button></div><div id="error-ntaer"></div><div class="subtle-help-text below-put ontend-ponents-ee_email_form-module__lks--G_QlQ"></div></form><div class="ontend-log-typo_handler-EmailTypoHandler-module__animatnWrapper--UT0du"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="visibily-check"></div><div data-ttid="paywall" data-ponent-name="Paywall" class="paywall"><h2 class="paywall-tle">This post is for paid subscribers</h2><div class="paywall-cta"><a href=" native><button tabInx="0" type="button" class="button subscribe-btn"><div class="visibily-check"></div><div class="pencraft ontend-pencraft-Box-module__ret--VfQY8 ontend-pencraft-Box-module__display-flex--ZqeZt ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-align-center--rSd6h ontend-pencraft-Box-module__flex-gap-8--HFpIK"><svg xmlns=" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" class="luci luci-pl"><le x1="12" x2="12" y1="5" y2="19"></le><le x1="5" x2="19" y1="12" y2="12"></le></svg>Subscribe</div></button></a></div><div class="paywall-log"><a href=" native>Already a paid subscriber? <b>Sign </b></a></div></div></div></article></div></div></div></div><div class="footer-wrap publitn-footer"><div class="visibily-check"></div><div class="footer themed-background"><div class="ntaer"><div class="footer-blurbs"><div class="footer-pyright-blurb">© 2023 Roxane Gay</div><div class="footer-terms-blurb"><a href=" target="__blank">Privacy</a><span> ∙ </span><a href=" target="__blank">Terms</a><span> ∙ </span><a href=" target="__blank">Collectn notice</a></div></div><div class="footer-buttons"><a native href=" class="footer-substack-cta start-publishg"><svg role="img" width="1000" height="1000" viewBox="0 0 1000 1000" fill="#FF6719" stroke-width="1.8" stroke="none" xmlns="><g><tle>.

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