So, How Gay Is ‘Thor: Love and Thunr,’ Really? | Vany Fair

Contents:

• 'PASSAG' DIRECTOR NOUNC 'DANGERO' NC-17 RATG ON A FILM PICTG A GAY LOVE STORY
• JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ASSISTANT STRENGTH ACH KEV MAXEN OUT PUBLICLY AS GAY
• GAY BLACK MEN RARELY SAW THEMSELV ON SCREEN. MICHAEL K. WILLIAMS CHANGED THAT.
• GAY FURRY HACKERS ARE TARGETG US STAT FOR PASSG ANTI-TRANS LEGISLATN
• DIPLOMATIC TENSN REPORTEDLY RISG BETWEEN UNED STAT AND JAMAI OVER GAY AMERIN DIPLOMAT
• THUNR WAIVE RUDY GAY
• THE BIG GAY NAME GENERATOR
• SO, HOW GAY IS THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, REALLY?NATALIE PORTMAN CLAIMED THAT THE ANCHISE’S LATT STALLMENT IS “SO GAY”—BUT IS SHE RIGHT?BY CHRIS MURPHYJULY 8, 2022BY JAS BOLAND/MARVEL STUDS.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEWHEN NATALIE PORTMAN SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS “SO GAY,” I WANT TO BELIEVE HER. AFTER ALL, SHE’S A QUEER IN BY VIRTUE OF STARRG PABLO LARRAíN’S JACKIE, MANY MISS DR MERCIALS, AND, FIRST AND FOREMOST, WNG THE OSR FOR THE BLACK SWAN, A PSYCHOSEXUAL PAS UX BETWEEN TWO WARRG BALLERAS. SO WHEN PORTMAN SWORE DURG A Q&A AT THE LONDON PREMIERE OF HER LATT FILM, THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, THAT MARVEL’S NEWT OFFERG IS “SO GAY,” MY TERT WAS IMMEDIATELY PIQUED—AND WHILE I HADN’T SEEN A MARVEL FILM SCE 2018’S BLACK PANTHER, I HAD TO KNOW WHETHER THOR 4 WOULD BE AN ENTRY TO THE QUEER CEMATIC NON à LA MOONLIGHT, CAROL, AND THE NILE KIDMAN AMC AD.SO OFF TO THE CEPLEX I WENT, TSTG NATALIE PORTMAN SPE MORS THAT THOR: LOVE AND THUNR MIGHT NOT BE AS GAY AS SHE CLAIMED. BUT STILL, I HAD FAH. THOR: LOVE AND THUNR WAS DIRECTED BY TAIKA WAI, WHOSE QUEER, PIRATE HBO MAX SHOW, OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH, CERTALY CROSS THE THRHOLD OF “SO GAY.” BISEXUAL ACTOR TSA THOMPSON WENT ON RERD AT SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON SAYG THAT SHE WANTED TO FD HER CHARACTER VALKYRIE, THE FEMALE KG OF ASGARDS, A QUEEN THE NEXT FILM. PL, THERE WAS GOG TO BE A RA ORA MEO. ALL POSIVE SIGNS!WHAT I FOUND…WELL I’M STILL TRYG TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND. BELOW IS A LIST OF THE GAY MOMENTS, SUBTEXT, AND ENERGY THAT I ULD FD THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, RANKED BY THEIR LEVEL OF GAYNS. BE WARNED: SPOILERS ABOUND.NOT GAY (AND SORT OF RUDE)CHRIS PRATT’S STAR-LORD IS PRETTY HEAVILY FEATURED THE FIRST 15 MUT OF THE FILM. THERE’S A FIGHT SCENE WHERE THOR FENDS OFF TWO MONSTERS WHILE A RSIAN SPL, AND STAR-LORD DRAMATILLY ROLLS HIS EY (WHICH GOT A BIG LGH OM THE DIENCE, BY THE WAY). SHAMG ANOTHER MAN FOR BEG SUPER FLEXIBLE AND A “B MUCH”? SORRY; THAT’S ANTI-QUEER BEHAVR, I’M AAID.CHRISTIAN BALE’S PERFORMANCE AS GORR THE GOD BUTCHER WAS GIVG VOLMORT VIB, WHICH MA ME THK OF HARRY POTTER, WHICH MA ME THK OF J.K. ROWLG—WHO IS ACTUALLY HARMFUL TO LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AND TO MY PSYCHE. ALSO, FOR THE ENTIRE FILM I THOUGHT HE WAS PL BETTANY.THERE’S A B WHERE HEIMDALL’S SON, AXL (KIERON L. DYER), RENAM HIMSELF, AND THOR SISTS THAT AXL E HIS PREV NAME, ASTRID. EVENTUALLY, THOR ACQUIC AND LLS AXL BY HIS CHOSEN NAME…BUT ’S LEFT A WEIRD TASTE SOME LGBTQ+ FANS’ MOUTHS.SIMPLY NOT GAYTHERE’S A SHORT MONTAGE OF THOR, PLAYED BY CHRIS HEMSWORTH, AND HIS MANY LOVERS…ALL OF WHOM ARE WOMEN. TECHNILLY, HE KISS A “WOLF WOMAN” WHILE RIDG “A WOMAN WOLF,” BUT THE ENERGY OF ALL IS OVERWHELMGLY STRAIGHT LOTHAR.THE MONTAGE THAT PICTS NATALIE PORTMAN’S DR. JANE FOSTER AND THOR’S RELATNSHIP IS BASILLY JT A 10-MUTE VERSN OF THE BREAKUP (2006) STARRG JENNIFER ANISTON AND VCE VGHN, PL A MAGIC HAMMER. DECIDLY NOT GAY.MATT DAMON AND MELISSA MCCARTHY BOTH APPEAR A PERFORMG TROUPE ASGARD, ACTG OUT THE LEGEND OF THOR. LATER ON, DAMON APPEARS AGA AND ASKS VALKYRIE IF HE SHOULD WRE A PLAY TO HELP SAVE THE TOWN, WHICH HAS BEEN RAVAGED BY VOLGORR THE GOD BUTCHER. WHILE THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SURPRISE CELEBRY REVEALS THE FILM IS SOMEWHAT GAY (WHO DON’T LOVE A RUVEAL!), THE MOCKERY OF STAGE ACTG IS NOT GAY AT ALL.SLIGHTLY GAYTHE FILM OPENS WH A PREFACE THAT FEATUR THE GOD DNYS (SIMON RSELL BEALE)—SHIRTLS A FIELD OF GIGGLG FLOWERS AND WEARG A SPARKLY GOLN CROWN AND STATEMENT NECKLACE, BRAGGG ABOUT HOW MANY FOLLOWERS HE HAS. FLOWERS, STATEMENT NECKLAC, AND BEG OBSSED WH FOLLOWERS? DEFELY A B GAY!K MISTAKENLY LLS JANE FOSTER “JANE FONDA.” THE VOTN OF MISS FONDA, ’80S AEROBICS AND 9 TO 5 QUEEN, IS FELY SLIGHTLY GAY!THE FIRST NEEDLE DROP OF THE FILM IS, QUE RANDOMLY, ENYA’S “ONLY TIME.” THIS FEELS WEIRDLY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE RECENT RURGENCE OF WCHY FORMER POP STARS WHO NOW LIVE STL PLETELY OFF THE GRID. AGA, NOT EXPLICLY GAY ANY WAY, BUT I FELY UGHT QUEER VIB.THOR’S CLOTH ACCINTALLY GET STRIPPED OM HIM, LEAVG HIM STANDG A ROOM FULL OF GODS THE NU. WHILE NOTHG SALAC IS SEEN (THE MOVIE IS ONLY PG-13, AFTER ALL), I BELIEVE THAT IMAGG CHRIS HEMSWORTH NAKED WILL RULT A QUEER AWAKENG FOR SOME OF THE YOUTH (AND, LET’S FACE , THE ADULTS) THE DIENCE. BON POTS: K SAID, “IT LOOKED LIKE A LTLE URGETTE,” I.E. A ZUCCHI—WHICH IS A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP AWAY OM THE EGGPLANT EMOJI.GAYTHOR, JANE, AND VALKYRIE MORE OR LS EXCLIVELY TRAVEL BY RIDG SCREAMG YAKS WHO N ON A SUPERCHARGED RABOW. WHILE RABOWS ARE NONILLY GAY (SEE: THE PRI FLAG, “SOMEWHERE OVER THE”), THIS IS SORT OF THE LOWT POSSIBLE BAR YOU ULD PASS FOR HAVG QUEER NTENT. BUT, I GUS UNTS.THE SHEER NUMBER OF FIERCE PANTSUS VALKYRIE WEARS AS KG OF ASGARD. SERVG LEWKS IS GAY!VALKYRIE BRGS A PORTABLE SPEAKER WH HER ON THE RABOW GOAT SHIP AND PLAYS A SNIPPET OF “FAY AFFAIR” BY MARY J. BLIGE. THAT’S A BOP, AND GAYS LOVE BOPS!MOST POPULARWH MATRO, LEONARD BERNSTE’S LEGACY AND LOV FALLY H THE BIG SCREENBY REBEC FORD25 PERFECT TV EPISOS FROM THE LAST 25 YEARSBY HILLARY BISTHE BOOK OF CLARENCE IS A BOMBASTIC JOURNEY BACK TO THE BIBLIL ERABY REBEC FORDRSELL CROWE GIV THE WORST VOL PERFORMANCE OF HIS REER SCE L MISéRABL (2012). HIS BLOWHARD ZS SOUNDS LIKE THE FIRST DRAFT OF AN ITALIAN ACCENT, BUT ZS IS FAMOLY GREEK. IT WAS NFG AND NFOUNDG AND REMD ME OF HIS JAVERT, AND THERE’S SOMETHG HERENTLY QUEER ABOUT THAT.GAY??THE SO-LLED GAYNS OF VALKYRIE IS (TENTNALLY) NFG. AT ONE POT SHE TELLS DR. JANE FOSTER—WH WHOM SHE CLEARLY HAS NO ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY—THAT SHE MISS HER “SISTERS.” DO SHE MEAN SISTERS LIKE RELATIV, SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (PLATONIC), OR SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (ROMANTIC)? WE NEVER FD OUT. VALKYRIE IS THE GAYT PART OF THE FILM FOR SURE, BUT DO NOTHG EXPLICLY QUEER EXCEPT MAYBE…WHEN SHE’S PG THE KGDOM OF THE GODS. VALKYRIE BRIEFLY STOPS TO MAKE BEDROOM EY AT ONE OF ZS’S FEMALE NCUB, WHO I AM PRETTY SURE IS PLAYED BY RA ORA. THIS HAPPENS SO FAST (AND IS FILMED SUCH A WAY THAT I’M PRETTY SURE ULD GET CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE IF NEEDS TO BE LS LGBTQ+-IENDLY TERRORI) THAT I AM ACTUALLY NOT SURE IF ’S RA ORA OR NOT. BUT DO HAPPEN, AND IS A MOMENT—THE ONLY MOMENT—OF GIRL-ON-GIRL “ACTN” THE FILM, IF YOU N LL THAT.AT ONE POT, THOR IS VOLVED A LTLE B OF A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN JANE FOSTER AND HIS AX, STORMBREAKER. MANY LGHS ARE (ATTEMPTED) TO BE WNG OUT OF STORMBREAKER’S SEEMG JEALOY OF JANE. IT WAS NFG TO ME, A MARVEL-NEOPHYTE, AS I ASSUMED THAT THOR’S AX WAS A GENRLS OBJECT—AND NOT TO GATEKEEP THE WORD GAY, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN A MAN, A WOMAN, AND A MAGIL AX DON’T QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” BUT I’M HAPPY TO KEEP AN OPEN MD ON THE MATTER.THE MOST EXPLIC “GAY” MOMENT: VALKYRIE AND K HAVE A (VERY BRIEF) HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT ROMANCE WHILE THOR AND JANE FULL ON MAKE OUT. IN THE SCENE, K EXPLICLY SAYS THAT HE HAS TWO DADS, AND THAT HIS SPECI ARE NCEIVED WHEN TWO KRONAN MEN HOLD HANDS OVER A LAVA P. IT’S A SWEET MOMENT, BUT THE SCENE IS PLACED SUCH A WAY THAT, AGA, FEELS LIKE ULD BE ENTIRELY REMOVED OTHER MARKETS. DURG THE NVERSATN, K ALSO MENTNS VALKYRIE’S AD GIRLIEND AND HOW SHE’S CLOSED HERSELF OFF OM LOVE. AGA, FELY REGNN THAT LGBTQ+ PEOPLE EXIST—BUT ’S THE FIRST AND LAST TIME WE HEAR ANY MENTN OF VALKYRIE’S LOVE LIFE OR TERT WOMEN.AT THE END OF THE FILM, THERE’S ALSO THE BRIEFT OF SHOTS OF K HOLDG HANDS WH ANOTHER ROCK KRONAN (PRUMABLY A MAN) OVER A LAVA P, AN ATTEMPT TO MAYBE MAKE A BABY. DID MARVEL JT SHOW OUR FIRST SCENE OF GAY KRONAN SEX? IT’S HARD TO KNOW.SO GAYNATALIE PORTMAN G THIS FILM AS A SHOWSE AND THEN HAVG HER CHARACTER DIE, HOPEFULLY RELEASG HER OM THE MCU AND ALLOWG HER TO GET BACK TO PROJECTS LIKE CLOSER.MOST POPULARWH MATRO, LEONARD BERNSTE’S LEGACY AND LOV FALLY H THE BIG SCREENBY REBEC FORD25 PERFECT TV EPISOS FROM THE LAST 25 YEARSBY HILLARY BISTHE BOOK OF CLARENCE IS A BOMBASTIC JOURNEY BACK TO THE BIBLIL ERABY REBEC FORDVALKYRIE SUALLY WEARG A PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SWEATSHIRT WHILE KICKG SOME SPIR MONSTER ASS.HONORABLE GAY MENTIONKAT DENNGS ALSO APPEARS AS A LLEAGUE OF DR. JANE FOSTER ONE (1) SCENE, NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD OM AGA. SHE’S BEEN A GUT JUDGE ON DRAG RACE AND HAS A OL VIBE, SO SHE GETS AN HONORABLE MENTN HERE.SO, LOOKS LIKE THOR WILL NOT BE WNG ANY GLAAD AWARDS. BY MY SCIENTIFIC LCULATNS, THERE WERE FAR MORE NOT GAY MOMENTS THAN GAY MOMENTS, AND ONLY TWO THAT WOULD QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” IN EVERY WAY, THE FILM WAS LS GAY THAN DUNE, WHICH FEATURED TIMOTHéE CHALAMET POUTG, BUTTHOLE-SHAPED WORMS, AND STEPHEN MCKLEY HENRSON HOLDG A LTLE PARASOL JT SO.BUT WHAT WERE WE TO EXPECT? A MOVIE PRODUCED BY MARVEL WHICH IS OWNED BY DISNEY—WHICH HAS E UNR A B OF FIRE FOR S HANDLG OF GAY NTENT AND S FANCIAL SUPPORT OF ANTI-LGBTQ+ POLICIANS—WAS MAYBE NEVER BOUND TO BE “SO GAY” AFTER ALL. SO THE NEXT TIME THE FORMER UNRSTUDY FOR LRA BELL BUNDY RUTHLS THE MIL OFF BROADWAY SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS SO GAY, DON’T NECSARILY TAKE HER WORD FOR .MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRHOW FOUR BILLNAIRE TECHNO-OLIGARCHS ARE CREATG AN ALTERNATE REALYEXCLIVE NEW DETAILS ABOUT MEGHAN MARKLE’S WEDDG DRSWHY THE TAN SUBMERSIBLE DISASTER WAS YEARS THE MAKGHERE’S WHAT WE NEED SEASON 3 OF AND JT LIKE THAT…THE BRIEF DEATH (AND SHORT REBIRTH) OF LIL TAYINSI ANDREW STT AND PL ML’S METAPHYSIL LOVE STORYFROM THE ARCHIVE: A FATHER’S ACUNT OF THE TRIAL OF HIS DGHTER’S KILLEREND-OF-SUMMER SALE! TAKE 25% OFF AT THE VF SHOPCHRIS MURPHY

'PASSAG' DIRECTOR NOUNC 'DANGERO' NC-17 RATG ON A FILM PICTG A GAY LOVE STORY

In a sea of nned cktails, Gay Water wants to stand out. In other words, where Bud Light has buckled unr prsure as bigotry grows agast the LGBTQ+ muny, Gay Water’s creator Spencer Hodson wants his new boozy brand to be the anthis of that. “The key issue that Bud Light tapped to was the fact that they didn’t unrstand their re dience and know enough about them,” Hodson, a gay man, told CNN about the ntroversy that began when the Anhser-Bch beer brand sent fluencer Dylan Mulvaney a n of beer.

Gay Water, however, is out and proud.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ASSISTANT STRENGTH ACH KEV MAXEN OUT PUBLICLY AS GAY

The nned cktail is named after a lloquialism given to the popular mixed drk (vodka and soda) orred at bars by the gay muny.

“Puttg a product wh the word gay the tle is reprentatn self,” which he hop reclaims the word om the negativy ’s sometim associated wh.

He thought of creatg Gay Water about a year ago while on a vatn wh his iend that had got a job wh the beverage dtry. The two chatted about the limed amount of gay people wh , and wh Hodson burnt out om his tradnal day job tech, started the nned cktail. Hodson built up a strong social media followg on TikTok and Instagram durg Covid-19 and is g some of the money om that (as well as om iends and fay) to help fund Gay Water.

GAY BLACK MEN RARELY SAW THEMSELV ON SCREEN. MICHAEL K. WILLIAMS CHANGED THAT.

“Gay is an umbrella term and the ia behd the brand is to be as clive as possible, which means we want alli, we want straight people to be part of this muny we’re buildg.”.

For now, Gay Water is sold largely onle (wh a few retailers) and four sugar-ee flavors — watermelon, lime, peach and grapeu — at lnch. Gay Water might not have the ep pockets pared to s petors, like Whe Claw, but “even at small sle, pani of many siz are havg succs makg spir-based seltzers and premixed cktails,” Bryan Roth, an analyst for Feel Goods Company and edor of the alhol beverage newsletter, Sightl+, told CNN. “There’s lots of space the spir-based seltzer tegory which Gay Water n play, pecially if the brand n offer a cultural or emotnal nnectn that will feel more excg than the prospect of another peapple-flavored vodka seltzer om natnal or ternatnal rporatns,” Roth said.

Of urse, other drks e the word “gay,” too, cludg Gay Beer and So Gay Rosé, Hodson noted, which are also tryg to reach the queer muny and offer them an alternative the straight-domated space.

GAY FURRY HACKERS ARE TARGETG US STAT FOR PASSG ANTI-TRANS LEGISLATN

The two had met 1980 and grew close 1995, when both were volved addrsg a divisive Smhsonian exhib of the Enola Gay, the plane that released Oppenheimer’s bomb over Hiroshima Augt of 1945. Jacksonville Jaguars assistant strength and ndng ach Kev Maxen cid on Thursday to e out publicly as gay hop of livg his life whout fear and to spire others.

Before jog Jacksonville’s achg staff, he was a strength ach for the football teams at Baylor and Febary 2022, Maxen reached out to NFL player Carl Nassib, who me out as gay 2021, to seek advice.

Williams, many of his queer Black admirers have been reflectg on the importance of his groundbreakg portrayals of gay Black men.

DIPLOMATIC TENSN REPORTEDLY RISG BETWEEN UNED STAT AND JAMAI OVER GAY AMERIN DIPLOMAT

But he was also an unashamedly open gay man wh a moral “. ” After “The Wire, ” Williams went on to portray other gay characters, such as the Vietnam veteran Leonard Pe 2016’s “Hap and Leonard'; the HIV-posive activist Ken Jon “When We Rise” 2019; and, mostly recently, Montrose Freeman 2020’s “Lovecraft Country. Williams was that he was unaaid of playg Black gay men Hollywood, ” E Wilbek, former edor of Vibe magaze, told NBC News.

“Williams was a possibily mol for so many young, Black gay and queer kids to see themselv on screen played wh so much life, love and passn.

THUNR WAIVE RUDY GAY

A group of "gay furry" hackers has been releasg rmatn om US state ernments. SiegedSec, a self-scribed group of gay furry hackers, took s skills to state ernments late June, breachg agenci across five stat and releasg a wealth of stat targeted on June 27 were Texas, Nebraska, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, and South Carola. "We are also actually gay furri, I've seen untls people doubt that aspect of our group.

"Uwu gay furri pwn you~ We'll be back aga soon to ntue our chaos and stctn! Lol NewsMIAMI – The diplomatic ti between the Uned Stat and Jamai uld soon be are reports that Jamai is refg to accred the spoe of a gay Amerin diplomat. Shams Charania: The Oklahoma Cy Thunr have waived Rudy Gay, sourc tell @TheAthletic Twter @ShamsCharania.

THE BIG GAY NAME GENERATOR

#YeaVsNayFlow Should the Sixers nsir signg Rudy Gay? Rudy Gay is the first of several roster partur the Thunr will need to make (via @The_ThunrWire):. The Oklahoma Cy Thunr have waived Rudy Gay, sourc tell @TheAthletic @Stadium.

In a st-cuttg move, the Atlanta Hawks are tradg guard TyTy Washgton Jr., and forwards Usman Gaba, Rudy Gay and a future send-round pick to the Oklahoma Cy Thunr for Patty Mills, sourc told ESPN on Saturday.

SO, HOW GAY IS THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, REALLY?NATALIE PORTMAN CLAIMED THAT THE ANCHISE’S LATT STALLMENT IS “SO GAY”—BUT IS SHE RIGHT?BY CHRIS MURPHYJULY 8, 2022BY JAS BOLAND/MARVEL STUDS.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEWHEN NATALIE PORTMAN SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS “SO GAY,” I WANT TO BELIEVE HER. AFTER ALL, SHE’S A QUEER IN BY VIRTUE OF STARRG PABLO LARRAíN’S JACKIE, MANY MISS DR MERCIALS, AND, FIRST AND FOREMOST, WNG THE OSR FOR THE BLACK SWAN, A PSYCHOSEXUAL PAS UX BETWEEN TWO WARRG BALLERAS. SO WHEN PORTMAN SWORE DURG A Q&A AT THE LONDON PREMIERE OF HER LATT FILM, THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, THAT MARVEL’S NEWT OFFERG IS “SO GAY,” MY TERT WAS IMMEDIATELY PIQUED—AND WHILE I HADN’T SEEN A MARVEL FILM SCE 2018’S BLACK PANTHER, I HAD TO KNOW WHETHER THOR 4 WOULD BE AN ENTRY TO THE QUEER CEMATIC NON à LA MOONLIGHT, CAROL, AND THE NILE KIDMAN AMC AD.SO OFF TO THE CEPLEX I WENT, TSTG NATALIE PORTMAN SPE MORS THAT THOR: LOVE AND THUNR MIGHT NOT BE AS GAY AS SHE CLAIMED. BUT STILL, I HAD FAH. THOR: LOVE AND THUNR WAS DIRECTED BY TAIKA WAI, WHOSE QUEER, PIRATE HBO MAX SHOW, OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH, CERTALY CROSS THE THRHOLD OF “SO GAY.” BISEXUAL ACTOR TSA THOMPSON WENT ON RERD AT SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON SAYG THAT SHE WANTED TO FD HER CHARACTER VALKYRIE, THE FEMALE KG OF ASGARDS, A QUEEN THE NEXT FILM. PL, THERE WAS GOG TO BE A RA ORA MEO. ALL POSIVE SIGNS!WHAT I FOUND…WELL I’M STILL TRYG TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND. BELOW IS A LIST OF THE GAY MOMENTS, SUBTEXT, AND ENERGY THAT I ULD FD THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, RANKED BY THEIR LEVEL OF GAYNS. BE WARNED: SPOILERS ABOUND.NOT GAY (AND SORT OF RUDE)CHRIS PRATT’S STAR-LORD IS PRETTY HEAVILY FEATURED THE FIRST 15 MUT OF THE FILM. THERE’S A FIGHT SCENE WHERE THOR FENDS OFF TWO MONSTERS WHILE A RSIAN SPL, AND STAR-LORD DRAMATILLY ROLLS HIS EY (WHICH GOT A BIG LGH OM THE DIENCE, BY THE WAY). SHAMG ANOTHER MAN FOR BEG SUPER FLEXIBLE AND A “B MUCH”? SORRY; THAT’S ANTI-QUEER BEHAVR, I’M AAID.CHRISTIAN BALE’S PERFORMANCE AS GORR THE GOD BUTCHER WAS GIVG VOLMORT VIB, WHICH MA ME THK OF HARRY POTTER, WHICH MA ME THK OF J.K. ROWLG—WHO IS ACTUALLY HARMFUL TO LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AND TO MY PSYCHE. ALSO, FOR THE ENTIRE FILM I THOUGHT HE WAS PL BETTANY.THERE’S A B WHERE HEIMDALL’S SON, AXL (KIERON L. DYER), RENAM HIMSELF, AND THOR SISTS THAT AXL E HIS PREV NAME, ASTRID. EVENTUALLY, THOR ACQUIC AND LLS AXL BY HIS CHOSEN NAME…BUT ’S LEFT A WEIRD TASTE SOME LGBTQ+ FANS’ MOUTHS.SIMPLY NOT GAYTHERE’S A SHORT MONTAGE OF THOR, PLAYED BY CHRIS HEMSWORTH, AND HIS MANY LOVERS…ALL OF WHOM ARE WOMEN. TECHNILLY, HE KISS A “WOLF WOMAN” WHILE RIDG “A WOMAN WOLF,” BUT THE ENERGY OF ALL IS OVERWHELMGLY STRAIGHT LOTHAR.THE MONTAGE THAT PICTS NATALIE PORTMAN’S DR. JANE FOSTER AND THOR’S RELATNSHIP IS BASILLY JT A 10-MUTE VERSN OF THE BREAKUP (2006) STARRG JENNIFER ANISTON AND VCE VGHN, PL A MAGIC HAMMER. DECIDLY NOT GAY.MATT DAMON AND MELISSA MCCARTHY BOTH APPEAR A PERFORMG TROUPE ASGARD, ACTG OUT THE LEGEND OF THOR. LATER ON, DAMON APPEARS AGA AND ASKS VALKYRIE IF HE SHOULD WRE A PLAY TO HELP SAVE THE TOWN, WHICH HAS BEEN RAVAGED BY VOLGORR THE GOD BUTCHER. WHILE THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SURPRISE CELEBRY REVEALS THE FILM IS SOMEWHAT GAY (WHO DON’T LOVE A RUVEAL!), THE MOCKERY OF STAGE ACTG IS NOT GAY AT ALL.SLIGHTLY GAYTHE FILM OPENS WH A PREFACE THAT FEATUR THE GOD DNYS (SIMON RSELL BEALE)—SHIRTLS A FIELD OF GIGGLG FLOWERS AND WEARG A SPARKLY GOLN CROWN AND STATEMENT NECKLACE, BRAGGG ABOUT HOW MANY FOLLOWERS HE HAS. FLOWERS, STATEMENT NECKLAC, AND BEG OBSSED WH FOLLOWERS? DEFELY A B GAY!K MISTAKENLY LLS JANE FOSTER “JANE FONDA.” THE VOTN OF MISS FONDA, ’80S AEROBICS AND 9 TO 5 QUEEN, IS FELY SLIGHTLY GAY!THE FIRST NEEDLE DROP OF THE FILM IS, QUE RANDOMLY, ENYA’S “ONLY TIME.” THIS FEELS WEIRDLY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE RECENT RURGENCE OF WCHY FORMER POP STARS WHO NOW LIVE STL PLETELY OFF THE GRID. AGA, NOT EXPLICLY GAY ANY WAY, BUT I FELY UGHT QUEER VIB.THOR’S CLOTH ACCINTALLY GET STRIPPED OM HIM, LEAVG HIM STANDG A ROOM FULL OF GODS THE NU. WHILE NOTHG SALAC IS SEEN (THE MOVIE IS ONLY PG-13, AFTER ALL), I BELIEVE THAT IMAGG CHRIS HEMSWORTH NAKED WILL RULT A QUEER AWAKENG FOR SOME OF THE YOUTH (AND, LET’S FACE , THE ADULTS) THE DIENCE. BON POTS: K SAID, “IT LOOKED LIKE A LTLE URGETTE,” I.E. A ZUCCHI—WHICH IS A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP AWAY OM THE EGGPLANT EMOJI.GAYTHOR, JANE, AND VALKYRIE MORE OR LS EXCLIVELY TRAVEL BY RIDG SCREAMG YAKS WHO N ON A SUPERCHARGED RABOW. WHILE RABOWS ARE NONILLY GAY (SEE: THE PRI FLAG, “SOMEWHERE OVER THE”), THIS IS SORT OF THE LOWT POSSIBLE BAR YOU ULD PASS FOR HAVG QUEER NTENT. BUT, I GUS UNTS.THE SHEER NUMBER OF FIERCE PANTSUS VALKYRIE WEARS AS KG OF ASGARD. SERVG LEWKS IS GAY!VALKYRIE BRGS A PORTABLE SPEAKER WH HER ON THE RABOW GOAT SHIP AND PLAYS A SNIPPET OF “FAY AFFAIR” BY MARY J. BLIGE. THAT’S A BOP, AND GAYS LOVE BOPS!MOST POPULARWH MATRO, LEONARD BERNSTE’S LEGACY AND LOV FALLY H THE BIG SCREENBY REBEC FORD25 PERFECT TV EPISOS FROM THE LAST 25 YEARSBY HILLARY BISTHE BOOK OF CLARENCE IS A BOMBASTIC JOURNEY BACK TO THE BIBLIL ERABY REBEC FORDRSELL CROWE GIV THE WORST VOL PERFORMANCE OF HIS REER SCE L MISéRABL (2012). HIS BLOWHARD ZS SOUNDS LIKE THE FIRST DRAFT OF AN ITALIAN ACCENT, BUT ZS IS FAMOLY GREEK. IT WAS NFG AND NFOUNDG AND REMD ME OF HIS JAVERT, AND THERE’S SOMETHG HERENTLY QUEER ABOUT THAT.GAY??THE SO-LLED GAYNS OF VALKYRIE IS (TENTNALLY) NFG. AT ONE POT SHE TELLS DR. JANE FOSTER—WH WHOM SHE CLEARLY HAS NO ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY—THAT SHE MISS HER “SISTERS.” DO SHE MEAN SISTERS LIKE RELATIV, SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (PLATONIC), OR SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (ROMANTIC)? WE NEVER FD OUT. VALKYRIE IS THE GAYT PART OF THE FILM FOR SURE, BUT DO NOTHG EXPLICLY QUEER EXCEPT MAYBE…WHEN SHE’S PG THE KGDOM OF THE GODS. VALKYRIE BRIEFLY STOPS TO MAKE BEDROOM EY AT ONE OF ZS’S FEMALE NCUB, WHO I AM PRETTY SURE IS PLAYED BY RA ORA. THIS HAPPENS SO FAST (AND IS FILMED SUCH A WAY THAT I’M PRETTY SURE ULD GET CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE IF NEEDS TO BE LS LGBTQ+-IENDLY TERRORI) THAT I AM ACTUALLY NOT SURE IF ’S RA ORA OR NOT. BUT DO HAPPEN, AND IS A MOMENT—THE ONLY MOMENT—OF GIRL-ON-GIRL “ACTN” THE FILM, IF YOU N LL THAT.AT ONE POT, THOR IS VOLVED A LTLE B OF A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN JANE FOSTER AND HIS AX, STORMBREAKER. MANY LGHS ARE (ATTEMPTED) TO BE WNG OUT OF STORMBREAKER’S SEEMG JEALOY OF JANE. IT WAS NFG TO ME, A MARVEL-NEOPHYTE, AS I ASSUMED THAT THOR’S AX WAS A GENRLS OBJECT—AND NOT TO GATEKEEP THE WORD GAY, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN A MAN, A WOMAN, AND A MAGIL AX DON’T QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” BUT I’M HAPPY TO KEEP AN OPEN MD ON THE MATTER.THE MOST EXPLIC “GAY” MOMENT: VALKYRIE AND K HAVE A (VERY BRIEF) HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT ROMANCE WHILE THOR AND JANE FULL ON MAKE OUT. IN THE SCENE, K EXPLICLY SAYS THAT HE HAS TWO DADS, AND THAT HIS SPECI ARE NCEIVED WHEN TWO KRONAN MEN HOLD HANDS OVER A LAVA P. IT’S A SWEET MOMENT, BUT THE SCENE IS PLACED SUCH A WAY THAT, AGA, FEELS LIKE ULD BE ENTIRELY REMOVED OTHER MARKETS. DURG THE NVERSATN, K ALSO MENTNS VALKYRIE’S AD GIRLIEND AND HOW SHE’S CLOSED HERSELF OFF OM LOVE. AGA, FELY REGNN THAT LGBTQ+ PEOPLE EXIST—BUT ’S THE FIRST AND LAST TIME WE HEAR ANY MENTN OF VALKYRIE’S LOVE LIFE OR TERT WOMEN.AT THE END OF THE FILM, THERE’S ALSO THE BRIEFT OF SHOTS OF K HOLDG HANDS WH ANOTHER ROCK KRONAN (PRUMABLY A MAN) OVER A LAVA P, AN ATTEMPT TO MAYBE MAKE A BABY. DID MARVEL JT SHOW OUR FIRST SCENE OF GAY KRONAN SEX? IT’S HARD TO KNOW.SO GAYNATALIE PORTMAN G THIS FILM AS A SHOWSE AND THEN HAVG HER CHARACTER DIE, HOPEFULLY RELEASG HER OM THE MCU AND ALLOWG HER TO GET BACK TO PROJECTS LIKE CLOSER.MOST POPULARWH MATRO, LEONARD BERNSTE’S LEGACY AND LOV FALLY H THE BIG SCREENBY REBEC FORD25 PERFECT TV EPISOS FROM THE LAST 25 YEARSBY HILLARY BISTHE BOOK OF CLARENCE IS A BOMBASTIC JOURNEY BACK TO THE BIBLIL ERABY REBEC FORDVALKYRIE SUALLY WEARG A PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SWEATSHIRT WHILE KICKG SOME SPIR MONSTER ASS.HONORABLE GAY MENTIONKAT DENNGS ALSO APPEARS AS A LLEAGUE OF DR. JANE FOSTER ONE (1) SCENE, NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD OM AGA. SHE’S BEEN A GUT JUDGE ON DRAG RACE AND HAS A OL VIBE, SO SHE GETS AN HONORABLE MENTN HERE.SO, LOOKS LIKE THOR WILL NOT BE WNG ANY GLAAD AWARDS. BY MY SCIENTIFIC LCULATNS, THERE WERE FAR MORE NOT GAY MOMENTS THAN GAY MOMENTS, AND ONLY TWO THAT WOULD QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” IN EVERY WAY, THE FILM WAS LS GAY THAN DUNE, WHICH FEATURED TIMOTHéE CHALAMET POUTG, BUTTHOLE-SHAPED WORMS, AND STEPHEN MCKLEY HENRSON HOLDG A LTLE PARASOL JT SO.BUT WHAT WERE WE TO EXPECT? A MOVIE PRODUCED BY MARVEL WHICH IS OWNED BY DISNEY—WHICH HAS E UNR A B OF FIRE FOR S HANDLG OF GAY NTENT AND S FANCIAL SUPPORT OF ANTI-LGBTQ+ POLICIANS—WAS MAYBE NEVER BOUND TO BE “SO GAY” AFTER ALL. SO THE NEXT TIME THE FORMER UNRSTUDY FOR LRA BELL BUNDY RUTHLS THE MIL OFF BROADWAY SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS SO GAY, DON’T NECSARILY TAKE HER WORD FOR .MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRHOW FOUR BILLNAIRE TECHNO-OLIGARCHS ARE CREATG AN ALTERNATE REALYEXCLIVE NEW DETAILS ABOUT MEGHAN MARKLE’S WEDDG DRSWHY THE TAN SUBMERSIBLE DISASTER WAS YEARS THE MAKGHERE’S WHAT WE NEED SEASON 3 OF AND JT LIKE THAT…THE BRIEF DEATH (AND SHORT REBIRTH) OF LIL TAYINSI ANDREW STT AND PL ML’S METAPHYSIL LOVE STORYFROM THE ARCHIVE: A FATHER’S ACUNT OF THE TRIAL OF HIS DGHTER’S KILLEREND-OF-SUMMER SALE! TAKE 25% OFF AT THE VF SHOPCHRIS MURPHY

Adrian Wojnarowski: The Atlanta Hawks are tradg TyTy Washgton, Usman Gaba, Rudy Gay and a send-round pick to the Oklahoma Cy Thunr for Patty Mills, sourc tell ESPN.