Why hasn’t the gay muny had a #MeToo moment?

WHY HASN’T THE GAY MUNY HAD A #METOO MOMENT?
“I WAS TERRIFIED, AND I WAS HUIATED”: #METOO’S MALE ACCERS, ONE YEAR LATERTERRY CREWS, MICHAEL GASTON, AND ALEX WTER ON SHARG THEIR EXPERIENC WH SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ASSLT—AND THE UNIQUE CHALLENG OF NAVIGATG THE MOVEMENT AS A MALE SURVIVOR.BY LRA BRADLEYOCTOBER 4, 2018SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEBY TAYLOR JEWELL/INVISN/AP.ON OCTOBER 10, 2017, TERRY CREWS DID SOMETHG NO ONE KNEW HE WAS GOG TO DO, NOT EVEN HIS WIFE: HE OPENED UP ABOUT ALLEGEDLY BEG GROPED BY A POWERFUL HOLLYWOOD EXEC. THE ACTOR HAD BEEN READG WOMEN’S STORI ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENC WH SEXUAL ABE HOLLYWOOD—WHICH BEGAN SPILLG OUT AFTER THE NEW YORK TIM’S FIRST REPORT ABOUT HARVEY WESTE—AND FOUND HIMSELF CENSED BY THE WAY MEN WERE RPONDG TO THEIR TAL WH SKEPTICISM, SUGGTG, AMONG OTHER THGS, THAT THE WOMEN G FORWARD WERE SPEAKG UP JT BEE THEY WANTED TO BE FAMO.“I LERALLY WAS LIKE, ‘THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT AT ALL! THIS IS NOT HOW WORKS!’” HE RELLED AN TERVIEW. AND SO, HE TWEETED: “THIS WHOLE THG WH HARVEY WESTE IS GIVG ME PTSD. WHY? BEE THIS KD OF THG HAPPENED TO ME.”CREWS REUNTED A HOLLYWOOD PARTY WHERE AN UNNAMED, POWERFUL AGENCY EXECUTIVE—LATER REVEALED TO BE WILLIAM MORRIS ENAVOR’S ADAM VEN—GROPED HIM, LGHG WHEN HE PROTTED. ALTHOUGH CREWS STANTLY DREW GRATU AND SUPPORT, HE ALSO FOUND HIMSELF ON THE RECEIVG END OF SKEPTICISM—PARTICULARLY OM OTHER MEN, WHO SAID A GUY LIKE HIM ULDN’T BE SEXUALLY ABED, DUE TO HIS SIZE AND PHYSIQUE. (AS ONE EDIAN PUT , “GOD GAVE YOU MCL, SO YOU N SAY NO.”)“THE WAY I LIKE TO SCRIBE THIS WHOLE ISSUE IS: YOU ARE NOW BEHD ENEMY L ONCE YOU E FORWARD,” THE BROOKLYN NE-NE STAR SAID. “INSTEAD OF A PERSON WHO NEEDS HELP, YOU ARE A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE ERADITED. THAT’S IMMEDIATE . . . BEE THERE’S A WHOLE SYSTEM PLACE, AND YOU’RE ABOUT TO UPSET THE WHOLE THG.”THOUGH THE SORDID TAL OF HOLLYWOOD SEXUAL ABE THAT HAVE PROLIFERATED THE #METOO ERA VER A WI RANGE OF EXPERIENC, MOST OF THEM HAVE ONE THG MON: THEY’RE TOLD BY WOMEN. THE MEN WHO HAVE E FORWARD—CLUDG CREWS, ANTHONY RAPP, JAM VAN DER BEEK, BRENDAN FRASER, BILL & TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE STAR ALEX WTER, THE MAN THE HIGH CASTLE’S MICHAEL GASTON, AND SEVERAL MALE MOLS WHO SPOKE OUT ABOUT THE POWERFUL PHOTOGRAPHERS BCE WEBER AND MAR TTO—HAVE FACED A UNIQUE SET OF CHALLENG, OM NAYSAYERS WHO BELIEVE MEN GROPG OTHER MEN IS JT HORSEPLAY TO A HEIGHTENED STIGMA THAT MAK MALE ACCERS LS LIKELY THAN FEMALE ON TO INTIFY THEMSELV AS SURVIVORS—AND MAK MORE DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO PROCS EMOTNS BORN OF TRMA.ONE YEAR AFTER THE MOVEMENT WENT VIRAL, THOUGH, MALE SURVIVORS ARE BEGNG TO FEEL A SENSE OF MUNY, PROTECTN, AND ACCEPTANCE—PERHAPS BT EXEMPLIFIED BY CREWS’S EXPERIENCE. AFTER LEARNG LAST NOVEMBER THAT VEN WOULD RETURN TO WORK AFTER ROUGHLY A MONTH’S SPENSN, CREWS BROUGHT A CIVIL SE AGAST VEN AND WME, WHICH THE PARTI SETTLED LAST MONTH. THE SE WAS DISMISSED ON THE NDN THAT VEN RIGN, WHOUT THE POSSIBILY OF RETURNG TO THE PANY ANY PACY, AND THAT WME ALTERS S EMPLOYEE-NDUCT POLICY TO AQUATELY ADDRS SEXUAL ASSLT AND BATTERY BY WME EMPLOYE AGAST CLIENTS. (AN OUTSI ATTORNEY WILL BE RPONSIBLE FOR APPROVG THE POLICY, AS WELL AS S IMPLEMENTATN.) EMPLOYE WILL ALSO BE REQUIRED TO RECEIVE TRAG REGARDG THOSE POLICI ANNUALLY.“I TOLD EVERYONE, AND I NTUE TO SAY ,” CREWS SAID. “I WAS READY TO SPEND A LN DOLLARS TO W ONE DOLLAR . . . THIS IS NOT ABOUT MONEY AT ALL. BUT THE FACT IS THAT I WANTED [VEN] TO BE GONE.”MOST POPULARPRCE HARRY AND MEGHAN MARKLE’S HEART OF INVICT NETFLIX DOC GETS A TRAILER AND RELEASE DATEBY KASE WICKMANAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYMILLIE BOBBY BROWN IS READY FOR THE END OF STRANGER THGSBY CHRIS MURPHY“THE HIGHER UP YOU ARE, THE MORE ACUNTABLE YOU ARE,” THE ACTOR ADD. “IT DON’T WORK THE OTHER WAY.”CREWS NOTED THAT MALE ACCERS N BOTH BENEF AND BE HURT BY PRE-EXISTG NOTNS ABOUT MASCULY AND SEXUAL POLICS. PEOPLE SEEMED QUICKER TO BELIEVE HIS CLAIMS AGAST VEN, HE SAID, BEE HE IS A MAN—BUT SOME SKEPTICS ALSO SHGGED OFF VEN’S ACTNS OR BLAMED CREWS FOR MISNSTG VEN’S TENTNS (A CHARGE THAT N BE LOBBED AT ANY ACCER, MALE OR FEMALE). OTHERS ASKED WHY CREWS DIDN’T SIMPLY PUNCH THE GUY—IGNORG THE NSEQUENC CREWS ULD HAVE FACED FOR THAT.FOR MANY MEN WHO HAVE FACED SEXUAL ABE, THE PROBLEM IS STILL MORE ELEMENTAL: “I DON’T REALLY RELL HEARG ABOUT MALE SURVIVORS,” SAID GASTON, WHEN ASKED IF HE BELIEV #METOO HAS SHIFTED THE NVERSATN SURROUNDG MALE ACCERS. A DAY AFTER CREWS’S TWEETS, GASTON TOLD HIS OWN STORY, TWEETG THAT JT AS CREWS WAS GROPED AT AN DTRY FUNCTN, GASTON WAS ALSO ASSLTED A PROFSNAL SETTG. GASTON WAS HIS LATE TWENTI, HE SAID, WHEN A DIRECTOR GROPED HIS GRO DURG REHEARSAL FOR A NEW PLAY. BOTH A STAGE MANAGER AND A YOUNG ASSISTANT DIRECTOR WERE PRENT FOR THE CINT, GASTON SAID. AT THE TIME, HE RPOND BY SWATTG THE DIRECTOR’S HAND AWAY AND MAKG A JOKE. “BUT I NEVER PLAED TO MANAGEMENT,” HE WROTE ON TWTER LAST OCTOBER. “I WAS TERRIFIED. AND I WAS HUIATED. I HAD VLENT FANTASI ABOUT THE MAN FOR YEARS.”IT WAS 25 YEARS BEFORE GASTON FELT READY TO SPEAK ABOUT THE CINT PUBLICLY; AT THE TIME, THE ACTOR SAID HE ONLY NFID ONE CLOSE MALE IEND. “WE WEREN'T PARTICULARLY EMOTNALLY SOPHISTITED. . . AT THE TIME, WAS JT, LIKE, PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN, GET TO WORK, GET OUT OF NEW HAVEN WHEN THIS THG IS OVER, AND GET ON WH OUR LIV, WHICH WE DID,” HE SAID. YEARS LATER, HE LEARNED THAT TWO OTHER ACTORS HE KNEW HAD BEEN HARASSED BY THE SAME DIRECTOR: “IT WAS A PERFECT THREE OUT OF THREE.”ALTHOUGH THE MEMORY OF BEG GROPED GRADUALLY RECED GASTON’S MD, HE STILL FELT DARK EMOTNS HE ULDN’T FULLY UNRSTAND OR PROCS; THE TWO OTHERS TOLD HIM ABOUT SIAR EXPERIENC. THERE THEY WERE, THREE UALLY NICE GUYS, ALL BOILG WH RAGE. “IT REALLY, REALLY AFFECTED LOTS OF DIFFERENT WAYS, I THK,” GASTON SAID. AND AS THE ACTOR TYPED OUT HIS STORY ON TWTER LAST FALL, ALL ME SHG BACK.“I MIGHT HAVE JT STOPPED AND NOT DONE , IF I’D THOUGHT ABOUT MORE—BUT THE MOMENT, MY HEART WAS POUNDG,” GASTON SAID. “IT REALLY WAS WEIRD. AT ONE TIME MY LIFE, I’VE HAD WHAT ULD BE SCRIBED AS A PANIC ATTACK, AND THIS WAS ABOUT HALF OF THAT. JT AS I WAS WRG, YOU KNOW, I REALLY FELT HOT AND SHORT OF BREATH. AND WAS 25 YEARS LATER.”BUT FOR ALL THE ANXIETY AND EMOTN THAT GO TO SPEAKG OUT, THE PROCS N BE HEALG FOR MALE AND FEMALE SURVIVORS ALIKE. IN AN TERVIEW, ALEX WTER PARED SPEAKG PUBLICLY TO THE FEELG OF SHACKL G OFF. “I NEVER THOUGHT, ‘GOD FORBID I’D EVER GO PUBLIC WH ,’ UNTIL THIS #METOO THG HAPPENED,” WTER SAID. BUOYED BY STORI TOLD BY OTHER ACTORS, HE ME FORWARD LATE OCTOBER OF 2017 WH HIS OWN TALE OF BEG SEXUALLY ABED AS A CHILD ACTOR; HE DID NOT NAME HIS PERPETRATOR, WHOM HE SAID IS NOW AD.MOST POPULARPRCE HARRY AND MEGHAN MARKLE’S HEART OF INVICT NETFLIX DOC GETS A TRAILER AND RELEASE DATEBY KASE WICKMANAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYMILLIE BOBBY BROWN IS READY FOR THE END OF STRANGER THGSBY CHRIS MURPHYALEX WTER 1987 FOR THE PREMIERE OF THE LOST BOYS. LAST YEAR HE REVEALED HE WAS SEXUALLY ABED THE 1970’S.BY RON GALELLA/WIREIMAGE.WTER SPENT YEARS SELECTIVELY SHARG PORTNS OF WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM—SOMETIM THROUGH JOK, AND SOMETIM EARNT. “IT WASN’T LIKE I WAS LYG ABOUT , BUT I WASN’T GETTG TO FULL TAIL,” WTER SAID. “SO WAS KD OF A PATCHWORK. I THK YOU SORT OF OFF-LOAD STRS A WAY FOR YOURSELF THAT MAK YOU FEEL SAFE, BUT STILL GIV YOU SOME SENSE OF GETTG SOME OF OUT THERE. THEN YOU REALIZE, AS YOU GO ON, THAT THAT’S NOT REALLY DOG VERY MUCH.”IN HIS THIRTI, WTER SAID, HE BEGAN TO SPEAK OPENLY ABOUT THE ABE THERAPY—BUT ONLY THERE. THE #METOO MOVEMENT—PARTICULARLY THE STORI TOLD BY FEMALE SURVIVORS—IS WHAT EMPOWERED HIM TO OVERE THE SENSE OF ISOLATN THAT MAK SURVIVORS FEEL AS THOUGH THEY SHOULD KEEP THEIR STORI TO THEMSELV, RATHER THAN DISPT THE LIV OF THOSE AROUND THEM, A NOTN HE LLED “BONKERS, RETROSPECT.”WHEN ASKED IF HE THOUGHT THE #METOO MOVEMENT OVERALL FELT CLIVE OF MEN, WTER WAS UNEQUIVOLLY POSIVE. “BY THE TIME I ME OUT WH MY STORY, I WAS NOT FEELG LIKE, ‘OH MY GOD, I’M JUMPG OFF A HIGH DIVE,’” WTER SAID. “I FELT LIKE I’M JT STEPPG TO A POOL THAT THERE’S A BUNCH OF PEOPLE ALREADY.” AND THE REACTNS HE RECEIVED AFTERWARD ONLY BORE THAT FEELG OUT. THE OTHER MEN AGREED, AS WELL, THAT THE MOVEMENT HAS MA THEM FEEL SUPPORTED AS THEY’VE E FORWARD. AS MORE ALLEGED VICTIMS E FORWARD AND THE MOVEMENT MATUR, SOME OF THE NVERSATN SURROUNDG HAS REQUIRED MORE NUANCE—LIKE ACTOR JIMMY BENT’S RECENT ACCATNS AGAST ASIA ARGENTO, WHO WAS HERSELF ONE OF THE FIRST WOMEN TO ACCE WESTE OF RAPE. (WESTE HAS NIED ALL ALLEGATNS OF NONNSENSUAL SEX.) BENT ALLEGED STATUTORY RAPE, WHILE ARGENTO LATER ALLEGED THAT BENT WAS THE AGGRSOR.MOST POPULARPRCE HARRY AND MEGHAN MARKLE’S HEART OF INVICT NETFLIX DOC GETS A TRAILER AND RELEASE DATEBY KASE WICKMANAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYMILLIE BOBBY BROWN IS READY FOR THE END OF STRANGER THGSBY CHRIS MURPHYWTER—WHO NOTED HE DO NOT KNOW EHER PARTY—SAID THAT THE MSY WAY THOSE ALLEGATNS HAVE UNFOLD PROV THAT VICTIMS OF ABE ARE NOT NECSARILY UNIMPEACHABLE THEMSELV. “THE THG THAT THE PUBLIC IS REALLY GOG TO HAVE A HARD TIME WH—THAT [ORIGAL #METOO FOUNR,] TARANA BURKE, I THK, WROTE ABOUT [] REALLY EARLY ON—IS THAT IF WE’RE REALLY GOG TO ACCEPT THE GREE TO WHICH THIS HAPPENS, ’S A GAME CHANGER,” WTER SAID. “PEOPLE ARE GOG TO HAVE TO UNRSTAND HOW SYSTEMIC IS . . . SO ’S GOG TO HAPPEN TO PEOPLE YOU DON’T LIKE. IT’S GOG TO HAPPEN TO PEOPLE THAT ARE DOG THEMSELV.” AND, AS THE PUBLIC WILL NTUE TO LEARN, ABE HAS AND WILL NTUE TO AFFECT BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.OVERALL, WTER THKS THE MOVEMENT REPRENTS REAL PROGRS; IF HE WERE AN ADOLCENT BEG ABED NOW, HE SAID, HE’D FEEL MORE FORTABLE SPEAKG OUT SOONER. THERE IS STILL A STIGMA AROUND SPEAKG UP ABOUT SEXUAL MISNDUCT, HE POTED OUT, AND WE HAVE YET TO GRASP JT HOW PERVASIVE SEXUAL ABE IS—PECIALLY HOLLYWOOD. STILL, HE’S ENURAGED TO SEE PEOPLE—ALL SORTS—FALLY TALKG ABOUT THE ISSU OPENLY.“I THK ’S REALLY HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNRSTAND THAT FOR THOSE OF WHO HAVE BEEN LIVG WH THE SECRETS FOR SO LONG, ’S REALLY SHOCKG A POSIVE WAY,” SAID WTER. “IT’S JT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT. SUDNLY, THE THGS THAT YOU JT ULD NOT SAY, YOU N SAY. . . I JT DON’T THK YOU N EVER TAKE THAT AWAY. I THK ’S PART OF A BROAD PUBLIC NVERSATN. HOPEFULLY, ’LL JT GET BIGGER.”LRA BRADLEY
À LA RECHERCHE DU #METOO GAY

* me too gay *

Someone asks if gay men have a role the movement. ”Jason Ho, one of a handful of gay men here, tells me the prence of women ma everyone too ut. Most gay men n remember the first time they set foot a gay bar: the awkwardns as they walked up to the bouncer, ID (fake or otherwise) hand, clasped tightly.

But as the #MeToo movement rolls on, and the nversatn turns to nsent and datg dynamics between men and women, there’s an unfortable realy on the gay scene that also needs to be nonted. Acrdg a survey by gay men’s health chary GMFA, some 62% of Brish gay men have been touched or groped a bar whout nsent. In the US 40% of gay and 47% of bisexual men have experienced sexual vlence other than rape, pared wh 21% of heterosexual ’s a culture of silence, and ’s not difficult to unrstand why.

“I WAS TERRIFIED, AND I WAS HUIATED”: #METOO’S MALE ACCERS, ONE YEAR LATERTERRY CREWS, MICHAEL GASTON, AND ALEX WTER ON SHARG THEIR EXPERIENC WH SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ASSLT—AND THE UNIQUE CHALLENG OF NAVIGATG THE MOVEMENT AS A MALE SURVIVOR.BY LRA BRADLEYOCTOBER 4, 2018SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEBY TAYLOR JEWELL/INVISN/AP.ON OCTOBER 10, 2017, TERRY CREWS DID SOMETHG NO ONE KNEW HE WAS GOG TO DO, NOT EVEN HIS WIFE: HE OPENED UP ABOUT ALLEGEDLY BEG GROPED BY A POWERFUL HOLLYWOOD EXEC. THE ACTOR HAD BEEN READG WOMEN’S STORI ABOUT THEIR EXPERIENC WH SEXUAL ABE HOLLYWOOD—WHICH BEGAN SPILLG OUT AFTER THE NEW YORK TIM’S FIRST REPORT ABOUT HARVEY WESTE—AND FOUND HIMSELF CENSED BY THE WAY MEN WERE RPONDG TO THEIR TAL WH SKEPTICISM, SUGGTG, AMONG OTHER THGS, THAT THE WOMEN G FORWARD WERE SPEAKG UP JT BEE THEY WANTED TO BE FAMO.“I LERALLY WAS LIKE, ‘THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT AT ALL! THIS IS NOT HOW WORKS!’” HE RELLED AN TERVIEW. AND SO, HE TWEETED: “THIS WHOLE THG WH HARVEY WESTE IS GIVG ME PTSD. WHY? BEE THIS KD OF THG HAPPENED TO ME.”CREWS REUNTED A HOLLYWOOD PARTY WHERE AN UNNAMED, POWERFUL AGENCY EXECUTIVE—LATER REVEALED TO BE WILLIAM MORRIS ENAVOR’S ADAM VEN—GROPED HIM, LGHG WHEN HE PROTTED. ALTHOUGH CREWS STANTLY DREW GRATU AND SUPPORT, HE ALSO FOUND HIMSELF ON THE RECEIVG END OF SKEPTICISM—PARTICULARLY OM OTHER MEN, WHO SAID A GUY LIKE HIM ULDN’T BE SEXUALLY ABED, DUE TO HIS SIZE AND PHYSIQUE. (AS ONE EDIAN PUT , “GOD GAVE YOU MCL, SO YOU N SAY NO.”)“THE WAY I LIKE TO SCRIBE THIS WHOLE ISSUE IS: YOU ARE NOW BEHD ENEMY L ONCE YOU E FORWARD,” THE BROOKLYN NE-NE STAR SAID. “INSTEAD OF A PERSON WHO NEEDS HELP, YOU ARE A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE ERADITED. THAT’S IMMEDIATE . . . BEE THERE’S A WHOLE SYSTEM PLACE, AND YOU’RE ABOUT TO UPSET THE WHOLE THG.”THOUGH THE SORDID TAL OF HOLLYWOOD SEXUAL ABE THAT HAVE PROLIFERATED THE #METOO ERA VER A WI RANGE OF EXPERIENC, MOST OF THEM HAVE ONE THG MON: THEY’RE TOLD BY WOMEN. THE MEN WHO HAVE E FORWARD—CLUDG CREWS, ANTHONY RAPP, JAM VAN DER BEEK, BRENDAN FRASER, BILL & TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE STAR ALEX WTER, THE MAN THE HIGH CASTLE’S MICHAEL GASTON, AND SEVERAL MALE MOLS WHO SPOKE OUT ABOUT THE POWERFUL PHOTOGRAPHERS BCE WEBER AND MAR TTO—HAVE FACED A UNIQUE SET OF CHALLENG, OM NAYSAYERS WHO BELIEVE MEN GROPG OTHER MEN IS JT HORSEPLAY TO A HEIGHTENED STIGMA THAT MAK MALE ACCERS LS LIKELY THAN FEMALE ON TO INTIFY THEMSELV AS SURVIVORS—AND MAK MORE DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO PROCS EMOTNS BORN OF TRMA.ONE YEAR AFTER THE MOVEMENT WENT VIRAL, THOUGH, MALE SURVIVORS ARE BEGNG TO FEEL A SENSE OF MUNY, PROTECTN, AND ACCEPTANCE—PERHAPS BT EXEMPLIFIED BY CREWS’S EXPERIENCE. AFTER LEARNG LAST NOVEMBER THAT VEN WOULD RETURN TO WORK AFTER ROUGHLY A MONTH’S SPENSN, CREWS BROUGHT A CIVIL SE AGAST VEN AND WME, WHICH THE PARTI SETTLED LAST MONTH. THE SE WAS DISMISSED ON THE NDN THAT VEN RIGN, WHOUT THE POSSIBILY OF RETURNG TO THE PANY ANY PACY, AND THAT WME ALTERS S EMPLOYEE-NDUCT POLICY TO AQUATELY ADDRS SEXUAL ASSLT AND BATTERY BY WME EMPLOYE AGAST CLIENTS. (AN OUTSI ATTORNEY WILL BE RPONSIBLE FOR APPROVG THE POLICY, AS WELL AS S IMPLEMENTATN.) EMPLOYE WILL ALSO BE REQUIRED TO RECEIVE TRAG REGARDG THOSE POLICI ANNUALLY.“I TOLD EVERYONE, AND I NTUE TO SAY ,” CREWS SAID. “I WAS READY TO SPEND A LN DOLLARS TO W ONE DOLLAR . . . THIS IS NOT ABOUT MONEY AT ALL. BUT THE FACT IS THAT I WANTED [VEN] TO BE GONE.”MOST POPULARPRCE HARRY AND MEGHAN MARKLE’S HEART OF INVICT NETFLIX DOC GETS A TRAILER AND RELEASE DATEBY KASE WICKMANAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYMILLIE BOBBY BROWN IS READY FOR THE END OF STRANGER THGSBY CHRIS MURPHY“THE HIGHER UP YOU ARE, THE MORE ACUNTABLE YOU ARE,” THE ACTOR ADD. “IT DON’T WORK THE OTHER WAY.”CREWS NOTED THAT MALE ACCERS N BOTH BENEF AND BE HURT BY PRE-EXISTG NOTNS ABOUT MASCULY AND SEXUAL POLICS. PEOPLE SEEMED QUICKER TO BELIEVE HIS CLAIMS AGAST VEN, HE SAID, BEE HE IS A MAN—BUT SOME SKEPTICS ALSO SHGGED OFF VEN’S ACTNS OR BLAMED CREWS FOR MISNSTG VEN’S TENTNS (A CHARGE THAT N BE LOBBED AT ANY ACCER, MALE OR FEMALE). OTHERS ASKED WHY CREWS DIDN’T SIMPLY PUNCH THE GUY—IGNORG THE NSEQUENC CREWS ULD HAVE FACED FOR THAT.FOR MANY MEN WHO HAVE FACED SEXUAL ABE, THE PROBLEM IS STILL MORE ELEMENTAL: “I DON’T REALLY RELL HEARG ABOUT MALE SURVIVORS,” SAID GASTON, WHEN ASKED IF HE BELIEV #METOO HAS SHIFTED THE NVERSATN SURROUNDG MALE ACCERS. A DAY AFTER CREWS’S TWEETS, GASTON TOLD HIS OWN STORY, TWEETG THAT JT AS CREWS WAS GROPED AT AN DTRY FUNCTN, GASTON WAS ALSO ASSLTED A PROFSNAL SETTG. GASTON WAS HIS LATE TWENTI, HE SAID, WHEN A DIRECTOR GROPED HIS GRO DURG REHEARSAL FOR A NEW PLAY. BOTH A STAGE MANAGER AND A YOUNG ASSISTANT DIRECTOR WERE PRENT FOR THE CINT, GASTON SAID. AT THE TIME, HE RPOND BY SWATTG THE DIRECTOR’S HAND AWAY AND MAKG A JOKE. “BUT I NEVER PLAED TO MANAGEMENT,” HE WROTE ON TWTER LAST OCTOBER. “I WAS TERRIFIED. AND I WAS HUIATED. I HAD VLENT FANTASI ABOUT THE MAN FOR YEARS.”IT WAS 25 YEARS BEFORE GASTON FELT READY TO SPEAK ABOUT THE CINT PUBLICLY; AT THE TIME, THE ACTOR SAID HE ONLY NFID ONE CLOSE MALE IEND. “WE WEREN'T PARTICULARLY EMOTNALLY SOPHISTITED. . . AT THE TIME, WAS JT, LIKE, PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN, GET TO WORK, GET OUT OF NEW HAVEN WHEN THIS THG IS OVER, AND GET ON WH OUR LIV, WHICH WE DID,” HE SAID. YEARS LATER, HE LEARNED THAT TWO OTHER ACTORS HE KNEW HAD BEEN HARASSED BY THE SAME DIRECTOR: “IT WAS A PERFECT THREE OUT OF THREE.”ALTHOUGH THE MEMORY OF BEG GROPED GRADUALLY RECED GASTON’S MD, HE STILL FELT DARK EMOTNS HE ULDN’T FULLY UNRSTAND OR PROCS; THE TWO OTHERS TOLD HIM ABOUT SIAR EXPERIENC. THERE THEY WERE, THREE UALLY NICE GUYS, ALL BOILG WH RAGE. “IT REALLY, REALLY AFFECTED LOTS OF DIFFERENT WAYS, I THK,” GASTON SAID. AND AS THE ACTOR TYPED OUT HIS STORY ON TWTER LAST FALL, ALL ME SHG BACK.“I MIGHT HAVE JT STOPPED AND NOT DONE , IF I’D THOUGHT ABOUT MORE—BUT THE MOMENT, MY HEART WAS POUNDG,” GASTON SAID. “IT REALLY WAS WEIRD. AT ONE TIME MY LIFE, I’VE HAD WHAT ULD BE SCRIBED AS A PANIC ATTACK, AND THIS WAS ABOUT HALF OF THAT. JT AS I WAS WRG, YOU KNOW, I REALLY FELT HOT AND SHORT OF BREATH. AND WAS 25 YEARS LATER.”BUT FOR ALL THE ANXIETY AND EMOTN THAT GO TO SPEAKG OUT, THE PROCS N BE HEALG FOR MALE AND FEMALE SURVIVORS ALIKE. IN AN TERVIEW, ALEX WTER PARED SPEAKG PUBLICLY TO THE FEELG OF SHACKL G OFF. “I NEVER THOUGHT, ‘GOD FORBID I’D EVER GO PUBLIC WH ,’ UNTIL THIS #METOO THG HAPPENED,” WTER SAID. BUOYED BY STORI TOLD BY OTHER ACTORS, HE ME FORWARD LATE OCTOBER OF 2017 WH HIS OWN TALE OF BEG SEXUALLY ABED AS A CHILD ACTOR; HE DID NOT NAME HIS PERPETRATOR, WHOM HE SAID IS NOW AD.MOST POPULARPRCE HARRY AND MEGHAN MARKLE’S HEART OF INVICT NETFLIX DOC GETS A TRAILER AND RELEASE DATEBY KASE WICKMANAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYMILLIE BOBBY BROWN IS READY FOR THE END OF STRANGER THGSBY CHRIS MURPHYALEX WTER 1987 FOR THE PREMIERE OF THE LOST BOYS. LAST YEAR HE REVEALED HE WAS SEXUALLY ABED THE 1970’S.BY RON GALELLA/WIREIMAGE.WTER SPENT YEARS SELECTIVELY SHARG PORTNS OF WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM—SOMETIM THROUGH JOK, AND SOMETIM EARNT. “IT WASN’T LIKE I WAS LYG ABOUT , BUT I WASN’T GETTG TO FULL TAIL,” WTER SAID. “SO WAS KD OF A PATCHWORK. I THK YOU SORT OF OFF-LOAD STRS A WAY FOR YOURSELF THAT MAK YOU FEEL SAFE, BUT STILL GIV YOU SOME SENSE OF GETTG SOME OF OUT THERE. THEN YOU REALIZE, AS YOU GO ON, THAT THAT’S NOT REALLY DOG VERY MUCH.”IN HIS THIRTI, WTER SAID, HE BEGAN TO SPEAK OPENLY ABOUT THE ABE THERAPY—BUT ONLY THERE. THE #METOO MOVEMENT—PARTICULARLY THE STORI TOLD BY FEMALE SURVIVORS—IS WHAT EMPOWERED HIM TO OVERE THE SENSE OF ISOLATN THAT MAK SURVIVORS FEEL AS THOUGH THEY SHOULD KEEP THEIR STORI TO THEMSELV, RATHER THAN DISPT THE LIV OF THOSE AROUND THEM, A NOTN HE LLED “BONKERS, RETROSPECT.”WHEN ASKED IF HE THOUGHT THE #METOO MOVEMENT OVERALL FELT CLIVE OF MEN, WTER WAS UNEQUIVOLLY POSIVE. “BY THE TIME I ME OUT WH MY STORY, I WAS NOT FEELG LIKE, ‘OH MY GOD, I’M JUMPG OFF A HIGH DIVE,’” WTER SAID. “I FELT LIKE I’M JT STEPPG TO A POOL THAT THERE’S A BUNCH OF PEOPLE ALREADY.” AND THE REACTNS HE RECEIVED AFTERWARD ONLY BORE THAT FEELG OUT. THE OTHER MEN AGREED, AS WELL, THAT THE MOVEMENT HAS MA THEM FEEL SUPPORTED AS THEY’VE E FORWARD. AS MORE ALLEGED VICTIMS E FORWARD AND THE MOVEMENT MATUR, SOME OF THE NVERSATN SURROUNDG HAS REQUIRED MORE NUANCE—LIKE ACTOR JIMMY BENT’S RECENT ACCATNS AGAST ASIA ARGENTO, WHO WAS HERSELF ONE OF THE FIRST WOMEN TO ACCE WESTE OF RAPE. (WESTE HAS NIED ALL ALLEGATNS OF NONNSENSUAL SEX.) BENT ALLEGED STATUTORY RAPE, WHILE ARGENTO LATER ALLEGED THAT BENT WAS THE AGGRSOR.MOST POPULARPRCE HARRY AND MEGHAN MARKLE’S HEART OF INVICT NETFLIX DOC GETS A TRAILER AND RELEASE DATEBY KASE WICKMANAND JT LIKE THAT… PREPAR FOR ITS LAST SUPPERBY CHRIS MURPHYMILLIE BOBBY BROWN IS READY FOR THE END OF STRANGER THGSBY CHRIS MURPHYWTER—WHO NOTED HE DO NOT KNOW EHER PARTY—SAID THAT THE MSY WAY THOSE ALLEGATNS HAVE UNFOLD PROV THAT VICTIMS OF ABE ARE NOT NECSARILY UNIMPEACHABLE THEMSELV. “THE THG THAT THE PUBLIC IS REALLY GOG TO HAVE A HARD TIME WH—THAT [ORIGAL #METOO FOUNR,] TARANA BURKE, I THK, WROTE ABOUT [] REALLY EARLY ON—IS THAT IF WE’RE REALLY GOG TO ACCEPT THE GREE TO WHICH THIS HAPPENS, ’S A GAME CHANGER,” WTER SAID. “PEOPLE ARE GOG TO HAVE TO UNRSTAND HOW SYSTEMIC IS . . . SO ’S GOG TO HAPPEN TO PEOPLE YOU DON’T LIKE. IT’S GOG TO HAPPEN TO PEOPLE THAT ARE DOG THEMSELV.” AND, AS THE PUBLIC WILL NTUE TO LEARN, ABE HAS AND WILL NTUE TO AFFECT BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.OVERALL, WTER THKS THE MOVEMENT REPRENTS REAL PROGRS; IF HE WERE AN ADOLCENT BEG ABED NOW, HE SAID, HE’D FEEL MORE FORTABLE SPEAKG OUT SOONER. THERE IS STILL A STIGMA AROUND SPEAKG UP ABOUT SEXUAL MISNDUCT, HE POTED OUT, AND WE HAVE YET TO GRASP JT HOW PERVASIVE SEXUAL ABE IS—PECIALLY HOLLYWOOD. STILL, HE’S ENURAGED TO SEE PEOPLE—ALL SORTS—FALLY TALKG ABOUT THE ISSU OPENLY.“I THK ’S REALLY HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNRSTAND THAT FOR THOSE OF WHO HAVE BEEN LIVG WH THE SECRETS FOR SO LONG, ’S REALLY SHOCKG A POSIVE WAY,” SAID WTER. “IT’S JT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT. SUDNLY, THE THGS THAT YOU JT ULD NOT SAY, YOU N SAY. . . I JT DON’T THK YOU N EVER TAKE THAT AWAY. I THK ’S PART OF A BROAD PUBLIC NVERSATN. HOPEFULLY, ’LL JT GET BIGGER.”LRA BRADLEY

Regnisg the sexual vlence you have experienced isn’t always easy, pecially when the are some of your earlit sexual enunters, or when memori are cloud by alhol and nversatn around nsent for gay men has been stifled: most of were never tght the language wh which to expla or unrstand the experienc of our youth.

For many young gay men, the boundari and the logistics of sexual ntact are an wasn’t long ago that our relatnships were looked down on by both society and the state, wh our sex liv taboo and crimalised. When the typ of timacy we engage viate om “lights off, bed, wh a long-term monogamo partner every other Friday” – which, of urse, n have s own problems – ’s not an act of betrayal to pot out that there are more opportuni for thgs to go, for stance the “dark room” – a space few people will speak of outsi the nf of the gay scene’s sweaty, hedonistic heart. When to nsent, though, the suatn is more of gay datg revolv around hookups and clubs fuelled by alhol and dgs.

À LA RECHERCHE DU #METOO GAY

Gay and bisexual men are seven tim more likely to e illegal dgs, acrdg to a 2012 study, and twice as likely to bge drk than heterosexual takg a step to such a dark room nsent to all sexual ntact? Unlike our straight unterparts, however, ’s often only bars and clubs that many gay men learn the ruals of love, sex and sctn – havg to e out, rather than your sexual inty be seen as normal, means many of do not nocently experiment and reflect durg adolcence.

For most of , there were few other plac to ’s not jt gay men who have woken up next to someone they barely remember takg home, but when there are multiple sexual partners volved – dg-filled rooms and dark, public spac – the risks are multiplied. Havg no rellectn of who you had sex wh, or where, means you may not have had the pacy to nsent the first younger gay men, the landspe is changg: the ter has revolutnised how we look for sex.

À la recherche du #MeToo gay

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