straighttobegay

Contents:

• 10 REASONS GAYS CHASE STRAIGHTS
• ARTISAN OWL I'M SO GAY I CAN'T EVEN DRIVE STRAIGHT - FLEXIBLE CAR AUTO BUMPER MAG - HILAR!
• “HELP ME CHANGE FROM GAY TO STRAIGHT”
• TOO STRAIGHT TO BE GAY, TOO GAY TO BE STRAIGHT
• I TRIED TO NVERT MYSELF OM GAY TO STRAIGHT. IT DON’T WORK
• PRT FOR THOUGHT I'M SO GAY I CAN'T EVEN DRIVE STRAIGHT
• STRAIGHTTOBEGAY
• WHY DO GAY MEN WALK SO FAST?

10 REASONS GAYS CHASE STRAIGHTS

LGBT is still a popular term ed to discs genr and sexual mori, but all GSRM are wele beyond lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr people who nsent to participate a safe space. Is there such a thg as a "Can't-drive gay"?

ARTISAN OWL I'M SO GAY I CAN'T EVEN DRIVE STRAIGHT - FLEXIBLE CAR AUTO BUMPER MAG - HILAR!

I'm 19 years old, I'm gay and I never learned to drive. I was recently havg a nversatn wh a iend where he jokgly referred to me as "One of those n't-drive gays".

“HELP ME CHANGE FROM GAY TO STRAIGHT”

What leads lbian and gay grown-ups to abandon reason and pursue the sexually unobtaable? Heck, even the flagrantly homoerotic Abercrombie & Fch ads toss a biki-clad woman for every 10 buff shiftls dus, lt we thk the fellas aren't hankerg for female pannship. Lo's rriere or how "women everywhere" are swoong over Ashton Kutcher, 's a remr that for a shockg number of people this culture, gay people jt don't exist.

Who else are we supposed to fd attractive when we're livg a gay-ee zone?

2 EVERYONE CAN BE HAD Straight people are jt like Tootsie Pops, and 's jt a matter of time before you get to their chewy gay center. Some gay people take the slow, wear-down-the-straight-object-of-your-affectn approach: flirtg, teasg, touchg, and telephong until--they hope--the other person giv .

TOO STRAIGHT TO BE GAY, TOO GAY TO BE STRAIGHT

The myth of the "do-able" hetero--or s tw fable, the ep closet se jt wag for the right same-sex key to unlock them--is everywhere gay culture.

I TRIED TO NVERT MYSELF OM GAY TO STRAIGHT. IT DON’T WORK

Whispers of Marlene Dietrich's sctn of straight women and outright boastg om the lik of Tman Capote and Joe Orton morph to soft-foc gay romanc like Dert Hearts or Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss, which heterosexualy is tossed asi the third act and "You know you want " is revealed as the ultimate tth. For most buddg gay and lbian kids beg aware of their sexualy, 's the straight schoolmat who surround them. Wh that md, some of them know that there's a wealth of woog to be had if they flirt-even if only ever so slightly--wh their gay iends.

5 THEY'RE THE "REAL THING" Call genr stereotypg or ternalized homophobia or whatever you like, but the socially accepted fns of man and woman have been heterosexualized for lennia, wh the ocsnal Greek vase or Michelangelo statue as the exceptns that prove the role.

As for the fags and dyk, well, they're gay-actg: swishy men and gals wh power tools--people who jt aren't livg up to their sex. If you want a real man or a real woman--and what gay person wouldn't? It may take some effort for gays and lbians to embrace our ner sissy boy and bull dagger, but that's the bt first step sheddg our fantasy life of culturally imposed rtrictns.

PRT FOR THOUGHT I'M SO GAY I CAN'T EVEN DRIVE STRAIGHT

As long as we n avoid gettg creamed for makg unwanted pass, idolizg the unavailable is the gay and lbian equivalent of Lisa Simpson's Non-Threateng Boys magaze.

Of sex appeal wh the soberg But wa: Straight or gay? Certaly, there are untls straight men and women out there oglg the bodi of gay men and lbians whout givg any thought to their sexual orientatn--and straights are jt begng to know the stant letdown of the appearance of a signifint other of the wrong sex.

STRAIGHTTOBEGAY

We're not talkg closet s and "everyone's bisexual" here--we're talkg hard-re heteros, Ksey zero whose last gay thought was sandwiched between Marcia and Harn.

WHY DO GAY MEN WALK SO FAST?

After all, gay sex remas one of straight people's biggt taboos, so you mt be All That if you snag a breer.

Anyway, cisg other gays and lbians is jt too easy, right?