Gay Narcissism, The Velvet Rage, Alan Downs | Steven Surman Wr

Contents:

• PRI AND PREJUDICE FOR GAY MEN
• GAY RAGE
• GAY RAGE
• THE VELVET RAGE BY ALAN DOWNS | SIX LSONS ABOUT GAY NARCISSISM | PART 02
• THE VELVET RAGE BY ALAN DOWNS | SIX LSONS ABOUT GAY NARCISSISM | PART 01
• RAGE REVIEWS: GAY DAYS OF SUMMER
• THE VELVET RAGE: OVERG THE PA OF GROWG UP GAY A STRAIGHT MAN'S WORLD HARDVER – MAY 24, 2005

PRI AND PREJUDICE FOR GAY MEN

But nsir my posn: As someone om “the Rabow State” (Hawaii) who is now the edor--chief of this gay se, I have always been surround by rabows and expected to not only embrace them, but have them on my driver’s license, my cloth, all manner of accsori, and pecially my Zoom background durg every panel I do. I love the artists as much as the next queer, but there’s somethg irratg about the obssn wh rercg the “gayns” of the party by playg so-lled “gay anthems. — Cáne LópezPraisg Straight People as “Gay Ins”I mean, I get , but now that we’re movg to a time when more and more celebri are out, let’s retire the need to praise straight women for makg mic to bump gay bars.

GAY RAGE

Sometim cishet women’s relatnship to queerns n be toxic and jt downright weird — you know, “the gays love me” kd of women — and I feel like the “in” label fuels that fire. But I have also noticed that the Venn diagram of people who are nstantly sayg “be gay do crime” and people who would ll the ps on a shirtls guy a pup hood at Pri is almost variably a perfect circle. He's workg wh some of the same partners his Roc's venture on this new plan on turng the spot to a new gay club, but no name has been announced yet but, they plan to open later this year.

GAY RAGE

Panmic and to late a revival of WeHo for future generatns, " Stt told several gay bars and clubs have closed durg the panmic, the area of Wt Hollywood is about to see a rurgence of the spac. In September of last year, Robert Maghame and Saeed Sattari, the owners of Rage announced they were closg the gay bar after they were unable to e to terms on a new lease wh Overstreet.

The latt blow to Wt Hollywood’s Boystown gay nightlife district is the closg of Rage, the gay bar at the northwt rner of Santa Moni Boulevard and San Vicente.

Jacqui Squatriglia and Chris Barn, owner of Flamg Saddl, the gay Country / Wtern bar at 8811 Santa Moni Boulevard at Larrabee, announced s closg on Aug. Gym Bar, another popular gay bar, loted at 8737 Santa Moni Blvd., announced s permanent closg July, wh s owners sayg that the property owner, Elias Shokrian of Calex LLC Beverly Hill, had been unoperative negotiatg a way for them to pay their rent. In 2014, Michel Thomas, who had worked as a promoter of events at Rage for 11 years, bought the bs om Maghame and Sattari, makg him the first gay man to own the gay bar.

THE VELVET RAGE BY ALAN DOWNS | SIX LSONS ABOUT GAY NARCISSISM | PART 02

Overstreet has many real tate holdgs Wt Hollywood, cludg the real tate at 8220 Santa Moni Blvd., home to the Out of the Closet thrift store and the Gold Coast bar on the rner of Santa Moni Boulevard and North La Jolla Avenue; 8246 Santa Moni Blvd., the lotn of La Jolla Jewelry; 8525 Santa Moni Blvd., where the Healthy Spot pet groomg bs is loted; 8861 Santa Moni Blvd., the lotn of the Chi Chi LaRue’s gay adult products bs; 8869 Santa Moni Blvd., home to Z Pizza; 8917 Santa Moni Blvd., home to the now-closed Halal Brothers, 9085 Santa Moni Blvd., the lotn of the Beverly Hills Karate Amy, and the parkg lot at 814 Larrabee St. Downs is at the heart of LA’s gay muny, yet the book that has ma his name pletely reasss the morn gay experience, holdg up an unsparg mirror to ’s spry self-help manual is lled The Velvet Rage: Overg the Pa of Growg Up Gay a Straight Man’s World. It is beg a touchstone gay culture jt as Christopher Isherwood’s Goodbye to Berl was the 30s, Larry Kramer’s Faggots the 70s and Edmund Whe’s A Boy’s Own Story the 80s.

But The Velvet Rage is not fictn: addrs the myth of gay pri and, after three s of post-Aids ncentratn on gay men’s physil health, turns ward to their mental snappy tle is slippg, sometim ironilly, to the gay lexin.

”Downs ed the phrase to refer to a very specific anger he enuntered his gay patients – whether was manifted dg abe, promiscuy or alholism – and whose roots, the book argu, are found childhood shame and parental rejectn. “Velvet rage is the ep and abidg anger that rults om growg up an environment when I learn that who I am as a gay person is unacceptable, perhaps even unlovable, ” he explas. Wey took the book home and beme one of The Velvet Rage’s first and most powerful ’s argument is that feelgs of worthlsns n be created childhood que untentnally, and the lead gay adults to search for an unachievable perfectn.

THE VELVET RAGE BY ALAN DOWNS | SIX LSONS ABOUT GAY NARCISSISM | PART 01

”Ls problematic gay issu, but on that stck a ep chord wh me, clu the unually sophistited knowledge of superficial cultur – pop mic, fashn or film, for example – among many gay men.

”All the rage: Author and therapist Alan Velvet Rage also als wh prsn, self-harm and suici, body dysmorphia and eatg disorrs – four tim as likely gay men as their straight unterparts.

RAGE REVIEWS: GAY DAYS OF SUMMER

”By puttg the more celebrated, creative aspects of gay culture the spotlight, and suggtg that beneath them lurk ser psychologil issu, the book has ed a stir, and Downs himself has drawn cricism.

”Everyone WHO I speak to about Velvet Rage sists is important to remember, amid the hype around the book, that, as Franks puts : “Many gay men are able to grow up and have happy, succsful adult liv wh meangful relatnships, iendships and sex.

THE VELVET RAGE: OVERG THE PA OF GROWG UP GAY A STRAIGHT MAN'S WORLD HARDVER – MAY 24, 2005

“What they found was that lbian and gay people were up to two-and-a-half tim more likely to bee alhol or dg pennt, over two-and-a-half tim more likely to suffer om anxiety or prsn disorrs. The report nclus by sayg that ‘lbian, gay and bisexual people are at signifintly higher risk of mental disorr, suici iatn, substance abe and liberate self-harm than heterosexual people. Edor Matthew Todd dited a whole issue to the subject last year “and received more mail om rears than we have had on any subject the 15 years I have been here” gay men are gog to have to self-diagnose and treat their own mental-health issu, lendg a well-thumbed py of The Velvet Rage might prent the first Elastoplast to the problem.

The central axis of an dividual’s gay narrative, one that ed to ncentrate on the g-out story eher as a teenager or later, has been shifted back to childhood. “I do thk that a lot of the issu The Velvet Rage have phed gay men and gay culture to create thoroughly wonrful thgs, ” says Downs, “but the qutn that each of mt ask is: ‘Is this the life that I want for myself? I dated some girls and even got engaged, but my life was jt about hangg round wh my mat drkg beer, gog on stag nights, that kd of first grown-up gay experience was my 20s when I was workg as a builr.

And then one day someone om work saw me leavg Revenge, a gay club Brighton – so the t was out of the one’s been bothered by and I haven’t looked back. I’m not puttg on an act; I’m jt beg me whatever social settg I’m Dmmond, 38, landspe garn signer, LondonPhotograph: Karen Robson for the ObserverI realised I was different om the other boys when I was seven, but wasn’t until I h puberty at 12 that I unrstood I was actually gay.

I’m glad she was so direct rather than pretendg there was no issue, but I explaed that beg gay was about love and relatnships, not about sexual mechanics. At school I did have feelgs of shame regardg beg gay and my relign, but I’ve realised that God ma me the way I am and that n never be a s to love someone.