Gay for a boy or a girl | Nameberry

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY WOMAN'S NAME

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class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp kjLxCB"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT hsydfY"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/culture/opn"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Opn</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bwDymH isouMH">In a Same-Sex Marriage, Who Gets to Keep Their Name?</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB eDhhwT ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH uMYIE byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd hHRAkO haUSoQ eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/patricia-garcia">Patricia Garcia</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2015-07-30T10:35:48-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd eNpMLJ jDQNvc">July 30, 2015</time></div></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz kEwhvr"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="same sex marriage last nam" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE bViSGz ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN dWhfyS"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd ftKqkn fNaHcW ptn__cred">Illtrated by Sam Kalda / Fol Art</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kbAoLA article-body__ntent"><div class="ActnBarWrapperContent-lasBkU cAHp"><div class="ActnBarWrapperComponent-cjwxLS bEeSLb"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh SFwwF viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU dPbgNk bookmark large-screen"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" d="M11.7661 16.3228L4.5 20.1695V3.5H19.5V20.1695L12.2339 16.3228L12 16.199L11.7661 16.3228Z" stroke-lep="square"/></svg></span><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ActnBarButtonText-bYXYuh iUEiRd fcKlBk gkccfO">Save</span></button></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh fOiOQm viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" 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data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Planng a weddg always prents a seri of nundms: Should a uple settle on a ceremony upstate or a quick trip to Cy Hall? Will there be chicken or fish for dner? Will the drs be black tie or cktail attire? But for same-sex upl that ci to tie the knot, there’s one qutn that requir an even lengthier discsn: Who gets to keep their last name?</p><p>Tradn has long dictated that a woman is to adopt her hband’s name after marriage, and while more women than ever are choosg to keep their main nam, the majory—<a href=">around 80 to 90 percent, studi have shown</a>—still abi by the old ctom. There are exceptns, of urse. Addg a send last name is a popular alternative, à la <a href="><strong>Angela Jolie Pt</strong></a> or <a href="><strong>Beyoncé Knowl-Carter</strong></a>. And then there’s the rare se of a hband adoptg his wife’s name, like <a href="><strong>Zoe Saldana’</strong></a>s spoe, Mar, who <a href=">opted for his wife’s surname</a>. But when genr norms go out the wdow, the cisn n take on a whole new level of plexy and nfn.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>This year’s <a href=">landmark Supreme Court lg</a>, which legalized gay marriage around the untry, means same-sex upl will be facg the name-change qutn more than ever before. Project manager <strong>Barrie Segal</strong> and her wife, <strong>Anne Alexanr</strong>, who recently wed New York, hadn’t discsed the issue until they were si Cy Hall. “The way works is when you’re filg your marriage license, you have to ci then and there if you want to change your name,” said Alexanr. “It didn’t even occur to me until then,” Segal add. “The only person who even asked me who was gog to take the other’s name was my dad.”</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Segal and her wife ultimately cid to keep their own nam. While <em>Bloomberg</em> edor <strong>Chris Rovzar</strong>, who married his hband last year, cid to keep his last name for profsnal reasons. “When you’re a job where your name is really a part of what you do and your work, ’s mon to have an stct not to change your name,” Rovzar said. It’s not jt wrers or actors who are attached to their nam; as social media be an creasgly important part of our liv, many are hant to change their long-standg profil or handl.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="32n3nr"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="a9hyq"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Back the seventi, a woman’s choice to keep her main name had more to do wh polics than practily. Today, same-sex upl are rebellg agast nventn as well. “We already jumped to an stutn that barely acknowledged , so why abi by all their other l?” said <em>DIS</em> Magaze Web producer <strong>Nick Scholl</strong> about his cisn not to take his hband’s name. Lawyer <strong>Richard Mollot,</strong> who married his hband <strong>Chris Donnellan</strong> 2010, feels the same way. “To me, the whole pot of the marriage is to validate people’s relatnship and love for another,” Mollot said. “I don’t thk you need to replite everythg that has gone on history.”</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="qm9e19"></div></div><p>Yet some upl that never nsired changg their nam when enterg marriage rensir the issue when ntemplatg the possibily of havg kids. “The real impet to changg my name was knowg we were gog to have children, and we wanted them to feel part of one fay and not have different nam,” explaed <strong>Ali Bird,</strong> director of The Wall Group, who adopted her wife’s surname back 2007. And while Rovzar is agast changg his name for reer reasons, the edor says that ’s a different story for his future children. “Havg been saddled wh an unpronounceable name, I wouldn’t want to put my kids through that,” he said. “My hband’s name is Barrett, so I thk we would probably go wh that.”</p><p>The mon cir among most upl was simply optg for the more pronounceable or pleasant-soundg name. Bird, for stance, much preferred her wife’s surname over her main name of Schwartz. “A last name like Bird, there is no qutn, [is] the better last name.”</p><p>But what if the answer isn’t always as clear-cut? Rather than flip a , <strong>Martha Wt</strong> and <strong>Tanya Kalivas</strong> chose to host a soccer match on the day of their rehearsal dner to terme whose name they would adopt. The two even dubbed the event "Game for the Name." “We both played llege soccer and are crazy petive,” explaed Wt. “We told iends and fay and everyone got on board and loved the ia.”</p><p>The match, which was <a href=">filmed for <em>The New York Tim</em> Vows sectn</a>, was an emotnal experience for both fai. “I have immigrant parents who are very proud of our herage,” Kalivas explaed. “While Martha’s fay is om Texas and also have a very strong herage. So there was a lot of passn on the field.”</p><p>As luck would have , a last-mute ll—which Wt still ntts—rulted a tie. Overtime wasn’t possible, as the two bris had to sh out to have their hair and makp done for that eveng’s ftivi, so the verdict was left uncid. A year later, the two still haven’t settled on a name for their future fay. While there have been talks of a rematch, Kalivas jt might nce beforehand. “I spect Wt will w the end,” Kalivas said. “Partially based on Martha’s ep, <em>ep</em> belief that her team really won.”</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="5mst38"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow 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data-no-id="6isq"></div></div><li class="RecircListTextOverlayItem-dLTGJZ cMRTNH"><a class="OverlaySummaryItemWrapper-jydJgB ljApWB summary-em-trackg__image-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href="><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Celebry Airport Style by the Des" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX dUsdoD bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd 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OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa OverlaySummaryItemRponsiveAsset-gAMhYK cOqLsu rponsive-image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet="" siz="100vw"/><img alt="It’s No Sex and the Cy, But And Jt Like That Is Still the Most Addictg Thg on TV" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></div></div></picture></span><div class="OverlaySummaryItemContent-ddGOWz fHZSgO"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX dUsdoD bric bric--wh-bg BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ OverlaySummaryItemRubric-bFqsqT iUEiRd cxwGKM cvqxGA"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Opn</span></div><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd 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