The Legacy of the Pk Dollar: Gay Clich Have Created Unattaable Myths - The Doe</tle><meta name="article:published_time" ntent="2022-03-28T06:00:00+0000"/><meta name="thor" ntent="Big queer mouth"/><meta name="scriptn" ntent="Though whe cisgenr gay men like me are more privileged, our portrayal media creat lofty expectatns."/><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="Though whe cisgenr gay men like me are more privileged, our portrayal media creat lofty expectatns."/><meta property="og:image" ntent="><meta property="og:image:alt" ntent="The Legacy of the Pk Dollar: Gay Clich Have Created Unattaable Myths"/><meta property="og:tle" ntent="The Legacy of the Pk Dollar: Gay Clich Have Created Unattaable Myths"/><meta property="og:type" ntent="article"/><meta property="og:url" ntent="><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image"/><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@TheDoe"/><meta name="twter:scriptn" ntent="Though whe cisgenr gay men like me are more privileged, our portrayal media creat lofty expectatns."/><meta name="twter:imageUrl" ntent="><script type="applitn/ld+json">{"@ntext":","@type":"Article","maEntyOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"},"headle":"The Legacy of the Pk Dollar: Gay Clich Have Created Unattaable Myths","datePublished":"2022-03-28T06:00:00+0000","dateModified":"2022-03-28T06:00:00+0000","thor":{"@type":"Person","name":"Big queer mouth"},"publisher":{"@type":"Organizatn","name":"The Doe","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"}},"image":[",","],"articleBody":"I grew up wh a somewhat ambiguo ia about what I should be as a gay man. I me out 2003, at age 16, and only bee I had a huge csh on this guy my German class who would rock up shorts, while his tanned, mcly legs tnted me om across the room. Not able to keep the thirst to myself, I vom-nfsed everythg to a girliend, who ironilly had sent me love letters jt a uple of years before. Poor Sarah. In a way, I was fally at peace wh my te self, relieved to fally not have to live a lie. The years of pretendg I fancied the most popular girls school—when really I jt wanted to be them—was exhstg. But I had nobody like me—an troverted, workg-class gay youth—to look up to, pecially the public eye. While there have been gay characters on Amerin TV for s, their reprentatn has been broad, lorful and often msy. In the 1970s, Hal Holbrook played a divorced dad who hid his sexualy om his son the ma-for-TV film That Certa Summer, which is believed to be one of the earlit sympathetic pictns of an LGBTQ+ character on our screens. In the 1990s, we had landmark moments like Ellen g out her self-tled seri, pl the U.K. and U.S. versns of Queer as Folk, before probably the most famo of all, Will & Grace. It was seen as radil at the time—and is certaly still groundbreakg—to have gay protagonists. Will & Grace’s lead Debra Msg has been quoted as sayg she didn’t thk they’d make past three episos, which is extraordary nsirg how succsful the s was and still is, two s later. But shows like this and Queer as Folk alt wh stereotyp and clich that ma their characters difficult to empathize wh. Don’t get me wrong, I love Will & Grace; fact, I’m bge-watchg right now. But the gays are eher rich (Will) or fantilized and have zero r the world (Jack). The weren’t exactly healthy or realistic goals for someone like me, who was jt lookg for somethg real.\r\nLGBTQ+ People Are Still Not Accurately Portrayed Media\r\nWe’re still told that richer is better, that money mak plete, that this is the only way we’ll be accepted. Acrdg to a 2019 report by the Williams Instute, 22 percent of the LGBTQ+ muny live poverty, pared to 16 percent of cisgenr straight people. This is, of urse, extremely nuanced. Lbian cisgenr women and the transgenr muny fare worse than cisgenr gay men, and if you’re an LGBTQ+ person of lor or someone who intifi as disabled, the odds agast you are even more stacked.   Though whe cisgenr gay men like me are signifintly more privileged than some of the other members of the LGBTQ+ muny, the way we’re portrayed on screens and the media is still unrealistic. As we are, thankfully, granted more rights—like beg able to marry and beg able to have our own children (if we’re out)—this utopian view of livg long, uful, easy liv is beg more and more difficult and dangero to digt. Take havg children, for example. My hband and I sperately want to start a fay, but the amount of money n st, pecially if you go down the surrogacy route, is kd of revoltg. I’m the U.K., and after pullg my hair out rearchg, I found that n be as much as £50,000. In the U.S., you’re lookg at between $60,000 and $150,000, though there are anizatns that offer grants if you’re a cizen, like Baby Qut and When I’ve told iends and fay how hard will be, they’re shocked. Why? Bee all they see is \"poster gay parents,\" like Neil Patrick Harris and Ricky Mart, who, on the face of , seem to pluck children out of th air—or, at least, this is what the non-LGBTQ+ people I have spoken to see. I blame the “pk dollar,” a marketg term ed the 1990s, which sgled out cisgenr gay men and women particular and the need to take advantage of their supposed disposable e. The posiv of this were nsirable, creatg an opportuny for the groups to legimize themselv through their purchasg power and monstrate their value to mastream pani. It may now seem ivolo but great stris equaly were ma through this iative. Trouble is, the pk dollar me to reprent all of our muny, wh no subjectivy.\r\nThe LGBTQ+ Communy Jt Wants to Live Like Everyone Else\r\nAs we have gaed more rights, our prri seem to be changg. When Will & Grace aired, s tular gay character was able to lend his iend, Jack, thoands of dollars whout a moment’s hatn. Now we’re startg our own fai and, dare I say , worryg about the same thgs that our cisgenr heterosexual unterparts have been for centuri. Such people still reprent the mory of the LGBTQ+ populatn. The realy is, we’re not all lnair who n have signer babi, and many of are unable to even purchase a hoe bee of the discrimatn we face. Acrdg to rearch published by the Proceedgs of the Natnal Amy of Scienc journal, 73 percent of same-sex upl were more likely to be nied a mortgage than fancially siar heterosexual upl. Though many of embrace our uniquens, we are startg to strive for \"normaly\" and nformg to this ia of settlg down. Perhaps thgs are gradually changg. On TV screens, we’re startg to see a wir range of experienc and, more signifintly, storyl that don’t center around our sexuali. In Euphoria, the lead character Rue is a plex, betiful queer human. Even rtoons are gettg on the actn, wh She-Ra and the Prcs of Power as a glowg example. Fally, seems like we have role mols for young LGBTQ+ people to look up to—and more importantly, relate to. I want people to stop makg assumptns about me and my muny. I want to be seen as a person wh my own journey—not jt somebody who stands unr a large, lorful umbrella. At the same time, I want acknowledgment for how much harr our journeys are, pecially when to havg kids. Is that so much to ask?"}</script><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="34"/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-g=""/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-p=""/><noscript data-n-css=""></noscript><script fer="" nomodule="" src="/_next/static/chunks/"></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/pag/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/pag/narrativ/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/CF-eoEFdZ_ylY8H7FgQ2M/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/CF-eoEFdZ_ylY8H7FgQ2M/" fer=""></script></head><body><div id="__next" data-reactroot=""><div class="Toastify"></div><div class="bg-whe py-xs lg:py-sm Hear_hear__ubBbX relative z-50"><div class="ntent-width "><div class="flex flex-row ems-center"><button class="mr-xs lg:hidn leadg-0 foc:outle-none Hear_hamburgerButton__87mQF" aria-label="Open menu"><span class="Hear_hamburger__IDMFE text-black"><span class="Hear_hamburger__box__VZQzG"><span class="Hear_hamburger__ner__6Awt4 "></span></span></span></button><div style="visibily:hidn;transn:visibily 0s lear 500ms"><div class="fixed top-0 bottom-0 left-0 right-0 z-40 bg-black text-whe transn duratn-500 transform overflow-to -translate-x-full"><div class="flex flex-l m-h-screen pt-xs pb-sm px-md "><div><div class="flex ems-center jtify-between"><a tle="The Doe - Home" href="/"><svg viewBox="0 0 385 123" fill="none" xmlns=" width="150"><tle>The Doe Logo

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The Legacy of the Pk Dollar: Gay Clich Have Created Unattaable Myths - The Doe</tle><meta name="article:published_time" ntent="2022-03-28T06:00:00+0000"/><meta name="thor" ntent="Big queer mouth"/><meta name="scriptn" ntent="Though whe cisgenr gay men like me are more privileged, our portrayal media creat lofty expectatns."/><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="Though whe cisgenr gay men like me are more privileged, our portrayal media creat lofty expectatns."/><meta property="og:image" ntent="><meta property="og:image:alt" ntent="The Legacy of the Pk Dollar: Gay Clich Have Created Unattaable Myths"/><meta property="og:tle" ntent="The Legacy of the Pk Dollar: Gay Clich Have Created Unattaable Myths"/><meta property="og:type" ntent="article"/><meta property="og:url" ntent="><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image"/><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@TheDoe"/><meta name="twter:scriptn" ntent="Though whe cisgenr gay men like me are more privileged, our portrayal media creat lofty expectatns."/><meta name="twter:imageUrl" ntent="><script type="applitn/ld+json">{"@ntext":","@type":"Article","maEntyOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"},"headle":"The Legacy of the Pk Dollar: Gay Clich Have Created Unattaable Myths","datePublished":"2022-03-28T06:00:00+0000","dateModified":"2022-03-28T06:00:00+0000","thor":{"@type":"Person","name":"Big queer mouth"},"publisher":{"@type":"Organizatn","name":"The Doe","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"}},"image":[",","],"articleBody":"I grew up wh a somewhat ambiguo ia about what I should be as a gay man. I me out 2003, at age 16, and only bee I had a huge csh on this guy my German class who would rock up shorts, while his tanned, mcly legs tnted me om across the room. Not able to keep the thirst to myself, I vom-nfsed everythg to a girliend, who ironilly had sent me love letters jt a uple of years before. Poor Sarah. In a way, I was fally at peace wh my te self, relieved to fally not have to live a lie. The years of pretendg I fancied the most popular girls school—when really I jt wanted to be them—was exhstg. But I had nobody like me—an troverted, workg-class gay youth—to look up to, pecially the public eye. While there have been gay characters on Amerin TV for s, their reprentatn has been broad, lorful and often msy. In the 1970s, Hal Holbrook played a divorced dad who hid his sexualy om his son the ma-for-TV film That Certa Summer, which is believed to be one of the earlit sympathetic pictns of an LGBTQ+ character on our screens. In the 1990s, we had landmark moments like Ellen g out her self-tled seri, pl the U.K. and U.S. versns of Queer as Folk, before probably the most famo of all, Will & Grace. It was seen as radil at the time—and is certaly still groundbreakg—to have gay protagonists. Will & Grace’s lead Debra Msg has been quoted as sayg she didn’t thk they’d make past three episos, which is extraordary nsirg how succsful the s was and still is, two s later. But shows like this and Queer as Folk alt wh stereotyp and clich that ma their characters difficult to empathize wh. Don’t get me wrong, I love Will & Grace; fact, I’m bge-watchg right now. But the gays are eher rich (Will) or fantilized and have zero r the world (Jack). The weren’t exactly healthy or realistic goals for someone like me, who was jt lookg for somethg real.\r\nLGBTQ+ People Are Still Not Accurately Portrayed Media\r\nWe’re still told that richer is better, that money mak plete, that this is the only way we’ll be accepted. Acrdg to a 2019 report by the Williams Instute, 22 percent of the LGBTQ+ muny live poverty, pared to 16 percent of cisgenr straight people. This is, of urse, extremely nuanced. Lbian cisgenr women and the transgenr muny fare worse than cisgenr gay men, and if you’re an LGBTQ+ person of lor or someone who intifi as disabled, the odds agast you are even more stacked.   Though whe cisgenr gay men like me are signifintly more privileged than some of the other members of the LGBTQ+ muny, the way we’re portrayed on screens and the media is still unrealistic. As we are, thankfully, granted more rights—like beg able to marry and beg able to have our own children (if we’re out)—this utopian view of livg long, uful, easy liv is beg more and more difficult and dangero to digt. Take havg children, for example. My hband and I sperately want to start a fay, but the amount of money n st, pecially if you go down the surrogacy route, is kd of revoltg. I’m the U.K., and after pullg my hair out rearchg, I found that n be as much as £50,000. In the U.S., you’re lookg at between $60,000 and $150,000, though there are anizatns that offer grants if you’re a cizen, like Baby Qut and When I’ve told iends and fay how hard will be, they’re shocked. Why? Bee all they see is \"poster gay parents,\" like Neil Patrick Harris and Ricky Mart, who, on the face of , seem to pluck children out of th air—or, at least, this is what the non-LGBTQ+ people I have spoken to see. I blame the “pk dollar,” a marketg term ed the 1990s, which sgled out cisgenr gay men and women particular and the need to take advantage of their supposed disposable e. The posiv of this were nsirable, creatg an opportuny for the groups to legimize themselv through their purchasg power and monstrate their value to mastream pani. It may now seem ivolo but great stris equaly were ma through this iative. Trouble is, the pk dollar me to reprent all of our muny, wh no subjectivy.\r\nThe LGBTQ+ Communy Jt Wants to Live Like Everyone Else\r\nAs we have gaed more rights, our prri seem to be changg. When Will & Grace aired, s tular gay character was able to lend his iend, Jack, thoands of dollars whout a moment’s hatn. Now we’re startg our own fai and, dare I say , worryg about the same thgs that our cisgenr heterosexual unterparts have been for centuri. Such people still reprent the mory of the LGBTQ+ populatn. The realy is, we’re not all lnair who n have signer babi, and many of are unable to even purchase a hoe bee of the discrimatn we face. Acrdg to rearch published by the Proceedgs of the Natnal Amy of Scienc journal, 73 percent of same-sex upl were more likely to be nied a mortgage than fancially siar heterosexual upl. Though many of embrace our uniquens, we are startg to strive for \"normaly\" and nformg to this ia of settlg down. Perhaps thgs are gradually changg. On TV screens, we’re startg to see a wir range of experienc and, more signifintly, storyl that don’t center around our sexuali. In Euphoria, the lead character Rue is a plex, betiful queer human. Even rtoons are gettg on the actn, wh She-Ra and the Prcs of Power as a glowg example. Fally, seems like we have role mols for young LGBTQ+ people to look up to—and more importantly, relate to. I want people to stop makg assumptns about me and my muny. I want to be seen as a person wh my own journey—not jt somebody who stands unr a large, lorful umbrella. At the same time, I want acknowledgment for how much harr our journeys are, pecially when to havg kids. Is that so much to ask?"}</script><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="34"/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-g=""/><lk rel="preload" href="/_next/static/css/" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="/_next/static/css/" data-n-p=""/><noscript data-n-css=""></noscript><script fer="" nomodule="" src="/_next/static/chunks/"></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/pag/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/chunks/pag/narrativ/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/CF-eoEFdZ_ylY8H7FgQ2M/" fer=""></script><script src="/_next/static/CF-eoEFdZ_ylY8H7FgQ2M/" fer=""></script></head><body><div id="__next" data-reactroot=""><div class="Toastify"></div><div class="bg-whe py-xs lg:py-sm Hear_hear__ubBbX relative z-50"><div class="ntent-width "><div class="flex flex-row ems-center"><button class="mr-xs lg:hidn leadg-0 foc:outle-none Hear_hamburgerButton__87mQF" aria-label="Open menu"><span class="Hear_hamburger__IDMFE text-black"><span class="Hear_hamburger__box__VZQzG"><span class="Hear_hamburger__ner__6Awt4 "></span></span></span></button><div style="visibily:hidn;transn:visibily 0s lear 500ms"><div class="fixed top-0 bottom-0 left-0 right-0 z-40 bg-black text-whe transn duratn-500 transform overflow-to -translate-x-full"><div class="flex flex-l m-h-screen pt-xs pb-sm px-md "><div><div class="flex ems-center jtify-between"><a tle="The Doe - Home" href="/"><svg viewBox="0 0 385 123" fill="none" xmlns=" width="150"><tle>The Doe Logo.