Home - Beyond Ex-Gay

Contents:

• FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY
• MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE
• ‘EX-GAY’ MEN FIGHT BACK AGAST VIEW THAT HOMOSEXUALY CAN’T BE CHANGED
• WHAT COM AFTER THE EX-GAY MOVEMENT? THE SAME THG THAT CAME BEFORE.
• WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?
• WHAT ABOUT EX-EX-GAYS?
• EX-GAY IS HERE TO STAY
• ONCE A RISG STAR OF THE ‘EX-GAY’ MOVEMENT, JULIE RODGERS SPEAKS OUT AGAST ‘NVERSN THERAPY’ NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY: ‘I RRY WH ME THE SRS.’
• MILO YIANNOPOULOS SAYS HE IS ‘EX-GAY,’ WANTS TO REHABILATE ‘NVERSN THERAPY’
• MY EX-GAY FRIEND
• EX-GAYS SCEND UPON D.C. TO LOBBY AGAST LGBTQ RIGHTS
• THE EX-GAY CHRISTIANY MOVEMENT IS MAKG A QUIET EBACK. THE EFFECTS ON LGBTQ YOUTH ULD BE VASTATG.
• TOM HOLLAND’S THE CROWD ROOM GAY SEX SCENE SPARKS APPALLG HOMOPHOBIC BACKLASH

FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY

Interview highlights clu extend web-only answers and have been eded for length and clary: Interview Highlights Thomas on how he joed the "ex-gay" movement and Exod Internatnal I was out of the closet the '80s. My mother might not have so easily found rmatn about ex-gay therapy had the Christian right not planted this stake the culture ad appeared 23 years after the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn (APA) classified homosexualy as a mental illns.

Foc on the Fay lled s new ex-gay mistry Love Won Out and talked about healg and rg for ex-gay movement turned the rhetoric of gay rights agast self: Shouldn't ex-gays be able to pursue therapy and live the liv they want whout facg discrimatn? Together wh the late Charl Soris, a psychiatrist who led the opposn to classifyg homosexualy as a mental illns, Nilosi formed NARTH 1992 as a "scientific anizatn that offers hope to those who stggle wh unwanted homosexualy.

Nilosi remas NARTH's most visible are no reliable statistics for how many patients have received ex-gay treatment or how many therapists practice , but the late 1990s and early 2000s, ex-gay therapy enjoyed a legimacy hadn't sce the APA removed homosexualy om s diagnostic manual. Whether or not the Christian right's alliance wh the ex-gay movement had nstuted a D-Day the culture wars, had succsfully challenged the prevailg ia that the bt choice for gay people was to accept themselv. I read one of Nilosi's books, Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexualy, that he tri to posn himself as a supportive father figure, typifyg the sort of relatnship that he believ his patients never had wh their own father.

MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE

What translated to the larger culture was: The father of the 1973 revolutn the classifitn and treatment of homosexualy, who uld not be seen as jt another biased ex-gay csar wh an agenda, had validated ex-gay therapy. Richard Cohen, the founr of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays)-tend as the ex-gay unterpart to PFLAG (Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays)-was expelled om the Amerin Counselg Associatn for ethics vlatns.

Among them were Alan Downg, the lead therapist of JONAH (Jews Offerg New Alternativ to Homosexualy), who ma his patients strip and touch themselv ont of a mirror; NARTH member Christopher At, who was nvicted of "unlawfully, tentnally and knowgly [g] peratn of" a client; and Exod-affiliated Mike Jon, who asked a patient to take off his shirt and do ph-ups for movement also suffered several high-profile fectns.

But the sprg of my sophomore year, the disparate parts of myself I had managed to hold together-the part of me that thought beg gay was wrong, the part that slept wh men anyway, the part of myself I let the world see, and the part that suffered silence-me undone. While took years of unselg to disabe myself of the ias I had learned while unrgog therapy wh Nilosi, was the first time I enuntered profsnals who were affirmg of my sexualy, and the first time I allowed myself to thk was all right to be gay.

‘EX-GAY’ MEN FIGHT BACK AGAST VIEW THAT HOMOSEXUALY CAN’T BE CHANGED

He spent 17 years a doomed marriage while battlg his urg all day, he said, and dreamg about them all recent years, as he probed his childhood unselg and at men’s weekend retreats wh nam like People Can Change and Journey Into Manhood, “my homosexual feelgs have nearly vanished, ” Mr. Smh is one of thoands of men across the untry, often known as “ex-gay, ” who believe they have changed their most basic sexual sir through some batn of therapy and prayer — somethg most scientists say has never been proved possible and is likely an men are often closeted, fearg ridicule om gay advot who acce them of self-ceptn and, at the same time, fearg rejectn by their church muni as tated oddi. ”But many ex-gays have ntued to seek help om such therapists and men’s retreats, sayg their own experience is proof enough that the treatment n Bzer, 35, was so angered by the California ban, which will take effect on Jan.

He was tormented as a Christian teenager by his homosexual attractns, but now, after men’s retreats and an onle urse of reparative therapy, he says he feels glimmers of attractn for women and is thkg about datg. Bzer, who plans to seek a doctorate psychology and bee a therapist ex-gays guard their secret but quietly meet support groups around the untry, sharg ias on how to avoid temptatns or, perhaps, broach their past wh a female date.

The theori, which have also been adopted by nservative relig opponents of gay marriage, hold that male homosexualy emerg om fay dynamics — often a distant father and an overbearg mother — or om early sexual abe. Spzer, publicly repudiated as valid his own 2001 study suggtg that some people uld change their sexual orientatn; the study had been wily ced by fenrs of the this summer, the ex-gay world was nvulsed when Alan Chambers, the print of Exod Internatnal, the largt Christian mistry for people fightg same-sex attractn, said he did not believe anyone uld be rid of homosexual Nilosi, a psychologist and clil director of the Thomas Aquas Psychologil Clic Enco, Calif., which he scrib as the largt reparative therapy clic the world, disagreed.

WHAT COM AFTER THE EX-GAY MOVEMENT? THE SAME THG THAT CAME BEFORE.

Crics like Wayne Ben, the executive director of Tth Ws Out, which fights antigay bias, liken such therapy to fah healg, wh apparent effects that later fa also pot out that the failur of such therapy are seldom reported. Swaim is unemployed and liv wh his parents Orange County, Calif., where his father is a pastor of the Evangelil Friends Church of the tried the gay life, but “ jt don’t settle wh me, ” he said, and ultimately cid “there’s got to be a way to heal this afflictn.

As Stott wrote Issu Facg Christians Today back 1982, “In every discsn about homosexualy we mt be rigoro differentiatg between this ‘beg’ and ‘dog, ’ that is, between a person’s inty and activy, sexual preference and sexual practice, nstutn and nduct. Church historian Richard Lovelace’s 1978 book Homosexualy and the Church garnered hearty endorsements om evangelil lumari Ken Kantzer (a former CT edor), Elisabeth Ellt, Chuck Colson, Harold Ockenga, and Carl F. First, would require profsg Christians who are gay to have the urage both to avow [acknowledge] their orientatn openly and to obey the Bible’s clear junctn to turn away om the active homosexual life-style.

The church’s sponsorship of openly avowed but repentant homosexuals learship posns would be a profound wns to the world ncerng the power of the Gospel to ee the church om homophobia and the homosexual om guilt and bondage.

WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?

Yet this was the Christian visn of Lovelace and Henry, Ockenga and Ellt, Kantzer and Colson, Lewis and Graham, Schaeffer and Stott, and a young gay evangelil Anglin who felt too aaid to e his own name, even though he was still a virg. As I watch evangelil church and nomatns fumble their way through discsns of sexual orientatn and inty, often enforcg the language and tegori of a failed ex-gay movement, we’re missg the real battle: The surroundg culture has nvced the world that Christians hate gay people.

WHAT ABOUT EX-EX-GAYS?

They are already send-gusg their fah bee they hear all around them that Christians hate gay people, and they n’t pot to anyone their ngregatn who is gay, is fahful, and is loved and accepted as such.

The 19th century wrer Osr Wil is revered by many the gay and lbian muny but, believe me, if he were alive now, he’d be totally exasperated wh the whg, hysteril malntents who domate today’s gay lobby. If “ex-gays” exist, this means that people n change their sexual orientatn — and this means that the foundatn the homosexual rights movement, the ia that they are “born that way” and th nnot help themselv, go right out the wdow.

Many ex-gays are aaid to e out of the closet bee of the harassment they will receive — their nam, phone numbers and personal rmatn posted on gay webs, attacked at ex-gay exhib booths, prs releas issued agast them, etc. ”3 This is an odd assertn, sce a tailed review of homosexual obuari showed several exampl of men who were happily married, who had children, and who nsired themselv “straight” sudnly abandong their fai and embracg the homosexual “liftyle.

EX-GAY IS HERE TO STAY

But the “scientific” methods ed this study would make any legimate rearcher crge; the “study” managers did not terview a large group of “ex-gays;” they simply sought out people who claimed that they had been harmed (an tensive procs that took a full five years) and then nmned such therapy. In natns where “nversn therapy” has been banned, homosexual activists have liberately approached Christian unselors pretendg to want to bee straight, and have lied to them orr to strip them of their licens. As one leadg English homosexual activist said, “We want to root out therapists and psychiatrists who are practicg the techniqu and ultimately brg an end to them through exposg them, as well as disptg their meetgs.

Psychologists and unselors the jurisdictns are forbidn to unsel homosexuals their attempts to bee straight — even if they want this unselg — but are perfectly ee to tell a straight person all about the many alleged benefs of homosexualy. Spzer, who had been vicly attacked by homosexuals for years, and who was sufferg om Parkson’s disease, fally gave to the prsure and announced that he was repudiatg the rults of his studi this field. Send, the term "ex-gay" has lots of different meangs (some lears like the term, while others don't), rangg om, "I ed to be volved same-sex relatnships, and I am no longer am, " to, "My romantic and sexual sir have changed om homosexual to heterosexual, " along wh everythg between.

ONCE A RISG STAR OF THE ‘EX-GAY’ MOVEMENT, JULIE RODGERS SPEAKS OUT AGAST ‘NVERSN THERAPY’ NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY: ‘I RRY WH ME THE SRS.’

I know others who, through unselg or a ep spirual enunter wh the Lord, lerally went om homosexual to heterosexual (this is more mon than you might realize), and they have lived like this for s now. The bottom le is that homosexual practice, unr all circumstanc, is sful, and nothg n possibly change that fact, but is equally te that there is liberty and new life J, and those willg to take up the cross and follow Him will never need to look back.

Not only so, but the whole myth of homosexualy beg “nate and immutable” has been exposed, wh some gay activists even sayg that they don’t need to e the argument anymore, acknowledgg that sexualy is fluid. Regardg the notn that some people are born gay and n’t change – somethg that has been a central mantra of gay activism for s – the article not that, “many members of the LGBTQ muny reject this narrative, sayg only benefs people who feel their sexualy and genr are fixed rather than fluid, and qutng why the digny of gay people should rt on the notn that they were gay om their very first breath.

Acrdgly, 2011, after I worked wh a group of several hundred Christians who hand out 2, 500 bottl of “J Lov You” water at a gay pri event Charlotte, North Carola, Wayne brand me an “anti-gay monster. In 2011, a bright-eyed newer om small-town Texas was ved to speak at the annual Exod Internatnal nference, alongsi a who’s who of nservative Christians who were tryg to curb their homosexualy via prayer and unselg.

MILO YIANNOPOULOS SAYS HE IS ‘EX-GAY,’ WANTS TO REHABILATE ‘NVERSN THERAPY’

Casually drsed a button-down shirt and baggy pants, Julie Rodgers mand the stage wh a feisty fist pump and heartfelt ttimony about how J was helpg her to rea om lbian age 25, she was on her way: a risg star the “ex-gay” Rodgers was also havg doubts — doubts that would e to full flower an epic journey through the LGBTQ culture wars.

MY EX-GAY FRIEND

In her memoir, “Outlove: A Queer Christian Survival Story, ” she relat the story of a participant who rved an anti-gay slur on his Chelette, executive director of Livg Hope mistri Arlgton, Texas, where Rodgers unrwent nversn therapy om age 16 until her mid-20s, said there’s no ercn the program and participants are always ee to leave. It jt didn’t feel right, ” she she’d been brought up evangelil, hearg that homosexualy was a s, and a fay member wanted her to participate the her book, she wr about how Chelette enuraged her as a speaker, and about how she wanted to be a good Christian and ntue to w his, her feelgs for women didn’t change, and the barrage of negative msagg about her sexualy was punishg.

However, she was still refully threadg the needle as an LGBTQ evangelil, mtg to celibacy as a way to honor Wheaton’s policy agast LGBTQ stunts at Wheaton, both gay and straight, were wonrful, she said, but she me unr scty by admistrators ncerned about her LGBTQ-posive prence on social media, which distrsed alumni and proment nservative lears.

“As for the CHANGED movement, I gus bee they’re Californian they don’t see how funny their webse is, or maybe they’re dirty non-doms who thk God lov you more the gayer you act, but I was slightly makg fun of them wh that ptn, ” he said. A group of people om across the untry who formerly intified as gay and transgenr have scend upon Washgton this week to share their stori and lobby agast two proposed LGBTQ-rights group is ma up of 15 members of Church Uned and Changed, two California-based anizatns that seek to provi muny for, and protect the rights of, “formers” — dividuals who formerly intified as lbian, gay, bisexual or bills the group is lobbyg agast are H.

EX-GAYS SCEND UPON D.C. TO LOBBY AGAST LGBTQ RIGHTS

This, he said, is evinced by the fact that gays have achieved clout and succs as scientists, thors and Thoron, an LGBTQ rearcher at Human Rights Watch, lled the assertn of the “formers” unfound and said the bills they’re lobbyg agast are “long overdue. ” And I was happy to do : Those stori gave me a natnal platform to advote for what is lled “gay reparative therapy”—basilly, nvcg gay people that they were sexually “broken” and uld be provid wh a way to change.

The kd of ignorance revealed by those Perry’s Texas Republin Party who recently serted a plank their party platform clarg homosexualy to be a “chosen behavr” and regnizg the “legimacy and efficy” of gay reparative therapy. Luckily, ’s te that across our natn, life is dramatilly and rapidly improvg for gay people, and ’s enuragg that same-sex marriage has found favor urts across the land, and is g to be viewed as legimate by a majory of Amerins, acrdg to polls.

As long as this wispread misunrstandg the straight world about homosexualy persists, that is a choice or a “liftyle, ” as Perry put , not only will we never be fully accepted by society, some of will rema unable to accept ourselv. The pastor found a book a lol Christian bookstore that scribed a special mistry for gay people California lled Exod, which was based on the ia that homosexualy uld be changed through strong termatn and a relatnship wh J Christ. In those early days after my nversn, the temptatns to be among my gay iends and once aga be part of the gay muny were so strong that I would kneel down my bathroom and beg God to help me not be gay.

THE EX-GAY CHRISTIANY MOVEMENT IS MAKG A QUIET EBACK. THE EFFECTS ON LGBTQ YOUTH ULD BE VASTATG.

For two s, McKrae Game was a top-tier figure among ex-gay Christians and a leadg advote for nversn therapy, a unselg practice wh the goal of helpg LGBTQ people supprs their homosexualy and bee “straight. Addnally, the Inter is rife wh stori of LGBTQ people who have reported sufferg psychologil harm as a rult of participatg the programs and proment Christians are quietly tryg to rurrect ex-gay Christiany, and the new rnatn is hipper and perhaps more evolved. Yet beneath the smetic tweaks ss the same msage that has damaged many liv over many s: If you’re a Christian wh same-sex attractns, change is both possible and first wave of Amerin ex-gay Christiany the 1970s alced around mistri and anizatns specifilly voted to the e.

But the current wave is far more centralized, beg led by pennt thors and personali who are embedd the nservative Christian world rather than segregated to an issue-specific views differ ever so slightly om the next while orbg tightly to siar them, such as the possibily of “former homosexuals” havg a healthy heterosexual marriage, differentiatg between one’s behavr and inty, and a ubiquo, if obligatory, nod to church’ historil failur to love people who intify as of the movement’s most articulate lears is Rosaria Champagne Butterfield, a former women’s studi profsor at Syrace Universy who says she “adopted a lbian inty” her 20s as a rult of beg fluenced by femist philosophy. For Butterfield, homosexualy is not an inty that scrib who a person is but, rather, a sful actn that a person do — but n stop preach her gospel of change through her popular books, speech at Christian nferenc and church, and is the unmistakable msage of the life she now liv. Butterfield left her female partner after her nversn and is now married to her hband, artist Jackie Hill Perry is another risg ex-gay star who formerly intified as a lbian and is now married to a man.

”When I prsed her, the thor of “Gay Girl, Good God: The Story of Who I Was and Who God Has Always Been” said that she has never met anyone who has experienced a plete change sexual orientatn, but she add that she has read stori about people who have. At least not claims that his parents’ divorce and an experience of sexual asslt created same-sex sir him at a young age, but he preach that J is helpg him overe his homosexual I spoke to him, he said he “had to make a choice of my fah over my feelgs.

TOM HOLLAND’S THE CROWD ROOM GAY SEX SCENE SPARKS APPALLG HOMOPHOBIC BACKLASH

Many Amerins believed at the time that homosexualy was a mere matter of choice, and worse, a s that would endanger one’s eternal their mds, same-sex-attracted Christians who wanted to live a life of hols uld supprs their sexual sir through some mixture of prayer, spirual disciple and therapy. Mistri and anizatns rose up and preached the ex-gay eventually the movement was plagued by shiftg public opn, and ex-gay Christiany’s most proment lears began repudiatg the movement and tellg the tth about s failur.

9 percent of ex-gay mistry participants he had met had not experienced a shift sexual Bethel Church, a mega-ngregatn based Reddg, Calif., wh a popular worldwi worship mic brand, may be tryg to fill that void. Ten years later, I found out that feelg of beg different, that csh on Stephen third gra and the nighttime fantasi I hoped no one would ever know about, were part of my life bee I was “stgglg wh homosexualy.