Gay datg s are more than jt Grdr and Scff! Here we look at ee gay datg s, lbian datg apps, queer/non-bary onle datg webs, and more. The 14 bt datg apps for men, women, and people the LGBTQ+ muny.
Contents:
- GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV
- SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"
- IT'S TIME TO STOP PIGEONHOLG GAY MEN AS TOPS AND BOTTOMS
- STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
- THE TOP LGBTQ+ DATG S AND APPS: 14 BT GAY DATG S
- BT GAY DATG APPS FOR HOOKUPS, RELATNSHIPS, AND EVERYTHG BETWEEN
- IRS 'WHISTLEBLOWER X,' A GAY DEMOCRAT, REVEALS INTY AND TELLS CONGRS HE WAS BLOCKED OM INVTIGATG HUNTER BIN
GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV
Wele to the "siverse," which gay men don't engage peratn. * gay sides *
The gay male datg app, Grdr, recently add the sexual preference I created beyond jt top, bottom, and vers when to gay men engagg terurse: "si.
That’s what happened 2013 when, an article I wrote for the Huffgton Post, “Guys on the Si, ” I created the term “si” for gay men who aren’t to beg a “top” or a “bottom” or practicg anal peratn. The term “Si” was created when 2010, I was talkg wh some lleagu about “tops” (gay men who prefer the sertive role durg peratn) and “bottoms” (gay men who prefer the receptive role durg peratn) and outed myself for beg a gay man who don’t engage anal terurse at all.
Beg a “top, ” “bottom, ” or “vers” (short for "versatile, " or someone who uld go eher way) were the only acceptable mols the gay muny, and I felt dissed for not ftg to the mold.
SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"
Grdr is the world's largt social workg app for gay, bi, trans, and queer people. Download Grdr today to disver, nnect to, and explore the queer world around you. * gay sides *
About a year and a half ago I formed a Facebook group lled “Si Guys” and some of the guys the group started a petn to Grdr, the gay datg app, to add “si” to their list of preferred posns and filters. Back 2011, an article was published the Journal of Sexual Medice which rearchers surveyed 25, 000 gay and bisexual men Ameri about their most recent sexual enunters, and only 36 percent said they had bottomed, and 34 percent said they had topped.
Furthermore, a si n be a gay male, a bisexual male, a pansexual male, or fall unr the ace umbrella (asexual male/graysexual male/misexual male, etc. Dennis Fortenberry MD, MS Sexual Behavrs and Suatnal Characteristics of Most Recent Male-Partnered Sexual Event among Gay and Bisexually Intified Men the Uned Stat. In the gay male muny, ually, you’re eher nsired to be a “top, ” the perator, or a “bottom, ” the perated, or you’re versatile (n go eher way).
But what if you’re a gay man who don’t enjoy anal sex or fds anal peratn paful, don’t like the feelg or the troublome amount of preparatn and cleang up need for to be a pleasurable experience, or simply don’t experience anal sex as erotic? That’s why a 2013 article I wrote for Huffgton Post, "Guys on the ‘Si’: Lookg Beyond Gay Tops and Bottoms, " I began workg on popularizg the term “si” orr for the gay men to have the language to exprs their sexual and erotic preference.
IT'S TIME TO STOP PIGEONHOLG GAY MEN AS TOPS AND BOTTOMS
There's nothg like a good gay photo. You n hardly turn around a gallery whout bumpg to a photo that was eher snapped by a queer person or one for a subject: om Calyn Jenner's portra by Annie Leibovz to the provotive works of Robert Mapplethorpe to the geni of Andy Warhol, Cathere Opie, and Pierre and Gill. Maybe there's somethg queer about the photograph, the transformatn om a subject to an object a flash. Or maybe all our years of takg selfi for Grdr prepared for the job. In any se, what mak the gay photo gay is the look levels at the viewer: We are ed to beg seen, but now we n look back. * gay sides *
A third add: “Personally I’m not crazy about the term ‘si’ (sounds to me like someone lyg there, dog not much) but ’s good that Grdr acknowledg that there’s more to gay sex than anal. Legend would have you believe that once you’ve earned your gay rd, a Harry Potter–like ceremony occurs where, stead of the Sortg Hat, a giant magil butt plug divis all gay men to two ho: tops or is clearly not the se, pecially for those people who nsir themselv versatile (HIYA). The two subdivisns have their own l, stereotyp, and -jok, and n sometim seem as if they’re at war wh each other, rather than both workg together for mutual sexual of this n make tryg different thgs dntg, pecially if you’re a baby gay venturg to this world for the first time.
STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
Learn how to approach and flirt wh gay guys at clubs, bars, or other venuMeetg gay guys is hard. First you have to terme if the guy you're terted is gay or straight. Then you have to approach him and strike up a... * gay sides *
But I believe that many gay men pick one si, stick to , and that some of those dividuals choose toppg—you’ll have seen their profil markg them as “masc dom tops” on the apps—bee of s ti to tradnal Miller explas, there are outsi forc that, datg back to the ancient Greeks, have prevented gay men om tly diggg to what sexual behavrs we might actually enjoy.
“Wh bottomg there is the perceptn that you're givg up your masculy bee receivg a penis is somethg that women do, ” Miller Chris Whe, an expert health promotn and the director and prcipal vtigator of the Safe and Supportive Schools Project at the Gay-Straight Alliance Network San Francis, tak this one step further. ”To be (fucked) or not to be (fucked) shouldn’t always be the qutnAcrdg to a 2011 study by The Journal of Sexual Medice that surveyed 25, 000 gay men Ameri about their last sexual enunters, only 36 percent said they had bottomed and 34 percent said they had, realy, we’re not actually fuckg all that much. "Some fans are so keen to pigeonhole male idols as tops and bottoms that even cishet celebri, such as Shawn Mens, Timothée Chalamet, and the members of One Directn, have the sexual rol (which are most readily associated wh gay men) applied to them.
THE TOP LGBTQ+ DATG S AND APPS: 14 BT GAY DATG S
* gay sides *
But the sire to tegorize guys based on what they might do bed isn’t jt part of stan culture; ’s a rctive part of gay culture—pecially on datg apps.
“It scrib acts more than people, and don't leave a lot of space for gay guys who are vers, or gay guys like me who don't really ever have anal sex. You know, I thk would be super-eful to te people about the si inty, and the fact that many gay guys do not often, or ed ever, have anal sex.
”David, a 35-year-old gay man om London who don’t intify as top or bottom, says he worri that “some guys n start to fe their liv” by their sexual role.
BT GAY DATG APPS FOR HOOKUPS, RELATNSHIPS, AND EVERYTHG BETWEEN
“I fully unrstand the need to give yourself an inty, and when the only thg we all have mon [as gay men] is sex, ’s the easit one to lean on, ” he says. “And you know, I thk some gay guys out there maybe had one really bad experience bottomg and never allowed themselv to try aga bee they were aaid would be bad aga.
IRS 'WHISTLEBLOWER X,' A GAY DEMOCRAT, REVEALS INTY AND TELLS CONGRS HE WAS BLOCKED OM INVTIGATG HUNTER BIN
"I thk those bary inti, wh vers, vers bottom, and vers top as qualifiers too, are really helpful for many guys out there, so there’s no need to reject them entirely, ” says (not his real name), a 31-year-old gay man livg Dubai*, says his personal relatnship history means he’s never really faced the qutn “top or bottom?
While grateful for the experience of beg gay, Hartley se his gay inty as somethg that go beyond jt sex — “I never say that I’m grateful for same-sex sexual sire, ” he said — also clus athetics, culture and worldview.