So, How Gay Is ‘Thor: Love and Thunr,’ Really? | Vany Fair

Contents:

• "AVENGERS: ENDGAME" FEATUR MARVEL STUDS' FIRST OPENLY GAY CHARACTER IN A SMALL ROLE
• IS THOR GAY, BISEXUAL, OR STRAIGHT? (ALL HIS LOVE INTERTS EXPLAED)
• THE GAY AVENGERS: ENDGAME CHARACTER IS A HALF-BAKED ATTEMPT AT DIVERSY
• MARVEL'S FIRST OPENLY GAY CHARACTER FEATUR AVENGERS: ENDGAME
• SO, HOW GAY IS THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, REALLY?NATALIE PORTMAN CLAIMED THAT THE ANCHISE’S LATT STALLMENT IS “SO GAY”—BUT IS SHE RIGHT?BY CHRIS MURPHYJULY 8, 2022BY JAS BOLAND/MARVEL STUDS.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEWHEN NATALIE PORTMAN SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS “SO GAY,” I WANT TO BELIEVE HER. AFTER ALL, SHE’S A QUEER IN BY VIRTUE OF STARRG PABLO LARRAíN’S JACKIE, MANY MISS DR MERCIALS, AND, FIRST AND FOREMOST, WNG THE OSR FOR THE BLACK SWAN, A PSYCHOSEXUAL PAS UX BETWEEN TWO WARRG BALLERAS. SO WHEN PORTMAN SWORE DURG A Q&A AT THE LONDON PREMIERE OF HER LATT FILM, THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, THAT MARVEL’S NEWT OFFERG IS “SO GAY,” MY TERT WAS IMMEDIATELY PIQUED—AND WHILE I HADN’T SEEN A MARVEL FILM SCE 2018’S BLACK PANTHER, I HAD TO KNOW WHETHER THOR 4 WOULD BE AN ENTRY TO THE QUEER CEMATIC NON à LA MOONLIGHT, CAROL, AND THE NILE KIDMAN AMC AD.SO OFF TO THE CEPLEX I WENT, TSTG NATALIE PORTMAN SPE MORS THAT THOR: LOVE AND THUNR MIGHT NOT BE AS GAY AS SHE CLAIMED. BUT STILL, I HAD FAH. THOR: LOVE AND THUNR WAS DIRECTED BY TAIKA WAI, WHOSE QUEER, PIRATE HBO MAX SHOW, OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH, CERTALY CROSS THE THRHOLD OF “SO GAY.” BISEXUAL ACTOR TSA THOMPSON WENT ON RERD AT SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON SAYG THAT SHE WANTED TO FD HER CHARACTER VALKYRIE, THE FEMALE KG OF ASGARDS, A QUEEN THE NEXT FILM. PL, THERE WAS GOG TO BE A RA ORA MEO. ALL POSIVE SIGNS!WHAT I FOUND…WELL I’M STILL TRYG TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND. BELOW IS A LIST OF THE GAY MOMENTS, SUBTEXT, AND ENERGY THAT I ULD FD THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, RANKED BY THEIR LEVEL OF GAYNS. BE WARNED: SPOILERS ABOUND.NOT GAY (AND SORT OF RUDE)CHRIS PRATT’S STAR-LORD IS PRETTY HEAVILY FEATURED THE FIRST 15 MUT OF THE FILM. THERE’S A FIGHT SCENE WHERE THOR FENDS OFF TWO MONSTERS WHILE A RSIAN SPL, AND STAR-LORD DRAMATILLY ROLLS HIS EY (WHICH GOT A BIG LGH OM THE DIENCE, BY THE WAY). SHAMG ANOTHER MAN FOR BEG SUPER FLEXIBLE AND A “B MUCH”? SORRY; THAT’S ANTI-QUEER BEHAVR, I’M AAID.CHRISTIAN BALE’S PERFORMANCE AS GORR THE GOD BUTCHER WAS GIVG VOLMORT VIB, WHICH MA ME THK OF HARRY POTTER, WHICH MA ME THK OF J.K. ROWLG—WHO IS ACTUALLY HARMFUL TO LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AND TO MY PSYCHE. ALSO, FOR THE ENTIRE FILM I THOUGHT HE WAS PL BETTANY.THERE’S A B WHERE HEIMDALL’S SON, AXL (KIERON L. DYER), RENAM HIMSELF, AND THOR SISTS THAT AXL E HIS PREV NAME, ASTRID. EVENTUALLY, THOR ACQUIC AND LLS AXL BY HIS CHOSEN NAME…BUT ’S LEFT A WEIRD TASTE SOME LGBTQ+ FANS’ MOUTHS.SIMPLY NOT GAYTHERE’S A SHORT MONTAGE OF THOR, PLAYED BY CHRIS HEMSWORTH, AND HIS MANY LOVERS…ALL OF WHOM ARE WOMEN. TECHNILLY, HE KISS A “WOLF WOMAN” WHILE RIDG “A WOMAN WOLF,” BUT THE ENERGY OF ALL IS OVERWHELMGLY STRAIGHT LOTHAR.THE MONTAGE THAT PICTS NATALIE PORTMAN’S DR. JANE FOSTER AND THOR’S RELATNSHIP IS BASILLY JT A 10-MUTE VERSN OF THE BREAKUP (2006) STARRG JENNIFER ANISTON AND VCE VGHN, PL A MAGIC HAMMER. DECIDLY NOT GAY.MATT DAMON AND MELISSA MCCARTHY BOTH APPEAR A PERFORMG TROUPE ASGARD, ACTG OUT THE LEGEND OF THOR. LATER ON, DAMON APPEARS AGA AND ASKS VALKYRIE IF HE SHOULD WRE A PLAY TO HELP SAVE THE TOWN, WHICH HAS BEEN RAVAGED BY VOLGORR THE GOD BUTCHER. WHILE THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SURPRISE CELEBRY REVEALS THE FILM IS SOMEWHAT GAY (WHO DON’T LOVE A RUVEAL!), THE MOCKERY OF STAGE ACTG IS NOT GAY AT ALL.SLIGHTLY GAYTHE FILM OPENS WH A PREFACE THAT FEATUR THE GOD DNYS (SIMON RSELL BEALE)—SHIRTLS A FIELD OF GIGGLG FLOWERS AND WEARG A SPARKLY GOLN CROWN AND STATEMENT NECKLACE, BRAGGG ABOUT HOW MANY FOLLOWERS HE HAS. FLOWERS, STATEMENT NECKLAC, AND BEG OBSSED WH FOLLOWERS? DEFELY A B GAY!K MISTAKENLY LLS JANE FOSTER “JANE FONDA.” THE VOTN OF MISS FONDA, ’80S AEROBICS AND 9 TO 5 QUEEN, IS FELY SLIGHTLY GAY!THE FIRST NEEDLE DROP OF THE FILM IS, QUE RANDOMLY, ENYA’S “ONLY TIME.” THIS FEELS WEIRDLY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE RECENT RURGENCE OF WCHY FORMER POP STARS WHO NOW LIVE STL PLETELY OFF THE GRID. AGA, NOT EXPLICLY GAY ANY WAY, BUT I FELY UGHT QUEER VIB.THOR’S CLOTH ACCINTALLY GET STRIPPED OM HIM, LEAVG HIM STANDG A ROOM FULL OF GODS THE NU. WHILE NOTHG SALAC IS SEEN (THE MOVIE IS ONLY PG-13, AFTER ALL), I BELIEVE THAT IMAGG CHRIS HEMSWORTH NAKED WILL RULT A QUEER AWAKENG FOR SOME OF THE YOUTH (AND, LET’S FACE , THE ADULTS) THE DIENCE. BON POTS: K SAID, “IT LOOKED LIKE A LTLE URGETTE,” I.E. A ZUCCHI—WHICH IS A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP AWAY OM THE EGGPLANT EMOJI.GAYTHOR, JANE, AND VALKYRIE MORE OR LS EXCLIVELY TRAVEL BY RIDG SCREAMG YAKS WHO N ON A SUPERCHARGED RABOW. WHILE RABOWS ARE NONILLY GAY (SEE: THE PRI FLAG, “SOMEWHERE OVER THE”), THIS IS SORT OF THE LOWT POSSIBLE BAR YOU ULD PASS FOR HAVG QUEER NTENT. BUT, I GUS UNTS.THE SHEER NUMBER OF FIERCE PANTSUS VALKYRIE WEARS AS KG OF ASGARD. SERVG LEWKS IS GAY!VALKYRIE BRGS A PORTABLE SPEAKER WH HER ON THE RABOW GOAT SHIP AND PLAYS A SNIPPET OF “FAY AFFAIR” BY MARY J. BLIGE. THAT’S A BOP, AND GAYS LOVE BOPS!MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT: MICHAEL PATRICK KG KNOWS WHEN THE AUDIENCE TURNED ON CHE DIAZBY CHRIS MURPHYNETFLIX’S MURDGH MURRS IS OFFICIALLY RETURNG FOR SEASON 2: EXCLIVEBY SAVANNAH WALSHHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONRSELL CROWE GIV THE WORST VOL PERFORMANCE OF HIS REER SCE L MISéRABL (2012). HIS BLOWHARD ZS SOUNDS LIKE THE FIRST DRAFT OF AN ITALIAN ACCENT, BUT ZS IS FAMOLY GREEK. IT WAS NFG AND NFOUNDG AND REMD ME OF HIS JAVERT, AND THERE’S SOMETHG HERENTLY QUEER ABOUT THAT.GAY??THE SO-LLED GAYNS OF VALKYRIE IS (TENTNALLY) NFG. AT ONE POT SHE TELLS DR. JANE FOSTER—WH WHOM SHE CLEARLY HAS NO ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY—THAT SHE MISS HER “SISTERS.” DO SHE MEAN SISTERS LIKE RELATIV, SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (PLATONIC), OR SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (ROMANTIC)? WE NEVER FD OUT. VALKYRIE IS THE GAYT PART OF THE FILM FOR SURE, BUT DO NOTHG EXPLICLY QUEER EXCEPT MAYBE…WHEN SHE’S PG THE KGDOM OF THE GODS. VALKYRIE BRIEFLY STOPS TO MAKE BEDROOM EY AT ONE OF ZS’S FEMALE NCUB, WHO I AM PRETTY SURE IS PLAYED BY RA ORA. THIS HAPPENS SO FAST (AND IS FILMED SUCH A WAY THAT I’M PRETTY SURE ULD GET CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE IF NEEDS TO BE LS LGBTQ+-IENDLY TERRORI) THAT I AM ACTUALLY NOT SURE IF ’S RA ORA OR NOT. BUT DO HAPPEN, AND IS A MOMENT—THE ONLY MOMENT—OF GIRL-ON-GIRL “ACTN” THE FILM, IF YOU N LL THAT.AT ONE POT, THOR IS VOLVED A LTLE B OF A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN JANE FOSTER AND HIS AX, STORMBREAKER. MANY LGHS ARE (ATTEMPTED) TO BE WNG OUT OF STORMBREAKER’S SEEMG JEALOY OF JANE. IT WAS NFG TO ME, A MARVEL-NEOPHYTE, AS I ASSUMED THAT THOR’S AX WAS A GENRLS OBJECT—AND NOT TO GATEKEEP THE WORD GAY, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN A MAN, A WOMAN, AND A MAGIL AX DON’T QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” BUT I’M HAPPY TO KEEP AN OPEN MD ON THE MATTER.THE MOST EXPLIC “GAY” MOMENT: VALKYRIE AND K HAVE A (VERY BRIEF) HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT ROMANCE WHILE THOR AND JANE FULL ON MAKE OUT. IN THE SCENE, K EXPLICLY SAYS THAT HE HAS TWO DADS, AND THAT HIS SPECI ARE NCEIVED WHEN TWO KRONAN MEN HOLD HANDS OVER A LAVA P. IT’S A SWEET MOMENT, BUT THE SCENE IS PLACED SUCH A WAY THAT, AGA, FEELS LIKE ULD BE ENTIRELY REMOVED OTHER MARKETS. DURG THE NVERSATN, K ALSO MENTNS VALKYRIE’S AD GIRLIEND AND HOW SHE’S CLOSED HERSELF OFF OM LOVE. AGA, FELY REGNN THAT LGBTQ+ PEOPLE EXIST—BUT ’S THE FIRST AND LAST TIME WE HEAR ANY MENTN OF VALKYRIE’S LOVE LIFE OR TERT WOMEN.AT THE END OF THE FILM, THERE’S ALSO THE BRIEFT OF SHOTS OF K HOLDG HANDS WH ANOTHER ROCK KRONAN (PRUMABLY A MAN) OVER A LAVA P, AN ATTEMPT TO MAYBE MAKE A BABY. DID MARVEL JT SHOW OUR FIRST SCENE OF GAY KRONAN SEX? IT’S HARD TO KNOW.SO GAYNATALIE PORTMAN G THIS FILM AS A SHOWSE AND THEN HAVG HER CHARACTER DIE, HOPEFULLY RELEASG HER OM THE MCU AND ALLOWG HER TO GET BACK TO PROJECTS LIKE CLOSER.MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT: MICHAEL PATRICK KG KNOWS WHEN THE AUDIENCE TURNED ON CHE DIAZBY CHRIS MURPHYNETFLIX’S MURDGH MURRS IS OFFICIALLY RETURNG FOR SEASON 2: EXCLIVEBY SAVANNAH WALSHHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONVALKYRIE SUALLY WEARG A PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SWEATSHIRT WHILE KICKG SOME SPIR MONSTER ASS.HONORABLE GAY MENTIONKAT DENNGS ALSO APPEARS AS A LLEAGUE OF DR. JANE FOSTER ONE (1) SCENE, NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD OM AGA. SHE’S BEEN A GUT JUDGE ON DRAG RACE AND HAS A OL VIBE, SO SHE GETS AN HONORABLE MENTN HERE.SO, LOOKS LIKE THOR WILL NOT BE WNG ANY GLAAD AWARDS. BY MY SCIENTIFIC LCULATNS, THERE WERE FAR MORE NOT GAY MOMENTS THAN GAY MOMENTS, AND ONLY TWO THAT WOULD QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” IN EVERY WAY, THE FILM WAS LS GAY THAN DUNE, WHICH FEATURED TIMOTHéE CHALAMET POUTG, BUTTHOLE-SHAPED WORMS, AND STEPHEN MCKLEY HENRSON HOLDG A LTLE PARASOL JT SO.BUT WHAT WERE WE TO EXPECT? A MOVIE PRODUCED BY MARVEL WHICH IS OWNED BY DISNEY—WHICH HAS E UNR A B OF FIRE FOR S HANDLG OF GAY NTENT AND S FANCIAL SUPPORT OF ANTI-LGBTQ+ POLICIANS—WAS MAYBE NEVER BOUND TO BE “SO GAY” AFTER ALL. SO THE NEXT TIME THE FORMER UNRSTUDY FOR LRA BELL BUNDY RUTHLS THE MIL OFF BROADWAY SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS SO GAY, DON’T NECSARILY TAKE HER WORD FOR .MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRHOW FOUR BILLNAIRE TECHNO-OLIGARCHS ARE CREATG AN ALTERNATE REALYEXCLIVE NEW DETAILS ABOUT MEGHAN MARKLE’S WEDDG DRSA BIRD’S-EYE VIEW OF EVERYTHG HAPPENG AT THIS FALL’S FILM FTIVALS—WHOUT THE STARSA SER SETBACK FOR TMP’S PLAN TO GET REELECTED AND PARDON HIMSELFMEET KYLE DCHANEL, THE PRETEND PLAYBOY WHO SEEMS TO HAVE FOOLED HALF OF MANHATTANTHE ULTIMATE GUI TO FALL MOVIFROM THE ARCHIVE: A FATHER’S ACUNT OF THE TRIAL OF HIS DGHTER’S KILLEREND-OF-SUMMER SALE! TAKE 25% OFF AT THE VF SHOPCHRIS MURPHY

"AVENGERS: ENDGAME" FEATUR MARVEL STUDS' FIRST OPENLY GAY CHARACTER IN A SMALL ROLE

The character shar a story of gog on his first date followg the snap, nonchalantly explag that he and his date -- another man -- both cried before the salad told Deadle that he and his brother, -director Anthony Rso, clud the gay character bee they unrstand the importance of reprentatn.

IS THOR GAY, BISEXUAL, OR STRAIGHT? (ALL HIS LOVE INTERTS EXPLAED)

"It was important to as we did four of the films, we wanted a gay character somewhere them, " he explaed. Upg superhero flick The Eternals is mored to feature the MCU's first gay superhero.

RELATED | Which Avengers are Havg the Most Gay Sex, Acrdg to Fanfictn. K is gay.

THE GAY AVENGERS: ENDGAME CHARACTER IS A HALF-BAKED ATTEMPT AT DIVERSY

“We wanted to be sual, wh the fact that the character is gay tied to the fabric of the storytellg and reprentg what everyday life is, ” Joe told Deadle. In a world where sexualy is a huge topic for bate, one n only wonr, is Thor gay, bisexual, or straight?

MARVEL'S FIRST OPENLY GAY CHARACTER FEATUR AVENGERS: ENDGAME

The bottom le: Is Thor gay, bisexual, or straight? But as Avengers: Endgame reflectns ntue to e out, there is headle after headle about Marvel's first openly gay character.

After some light vtigatn, turns out that the first openly gay character is a glorified meo by director Joe Rso.

The First Openly Gay Character qutn is a support group wh Capta Ameri after The Snap. Then Capta Ameri tells him that 's brave to keep gog on dat ~wh other men~ and then the scene is be clear, I'm not tryg to say that Joe Rso's portrayal of a grievg gay man was rrect or offensive, though 's non that all gay men are fans of the Yanke, not the Mets. Wh that beg said, cludg a gay person a peripheral role isn't an acplishment as much as s payg attentn to every day life.

SO, HOW GAY IS THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, REALLY?NATALIE PORTMAN CLAIMED THAT THE ANCHISE’S LATT STALLMENT IS “SO GAY”—BUT IS SHE RIGHT?BY CHRIS MURPHYJULY 8, 2022BY JAS BOLAND/MARVEL STUDS.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEWHEN NATALIE PORTMAN SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS “SO GAY,” I WANT TO BELIEVE HER. AFTER ALL, SHE’S A QUEER IN BY VIRTUE OF STARRG PABLO LARRAíN’S JACKIE, MANY MISS DR MERCIALS, AND, FIRST AND FOREMOST, WNG THE OSR FOR THE BLACK SWAN, A PSYCHOSEXUAL PAS UX BETWEEN TWO WARRG BALLERAS. SO WHEN PORTMAN SWORE DURG A Q&A AT THE LONDON PREMIERE OF HER LATT FILM, THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, THAT MARVEL’S NEWT OFFERG IS “SO GAY,” MY TERT WAS IMMEDIATELY PIQUED—AND WHILE I HADN’T SEEN A MARVEL FILM SCE 2018’S BLACK PANTHER, I HAD TO KNOW WHETHER THOR 4 WOULD BE AN ENTRY TO THE QUEER CEMATIC NON à LA MOONLIGHT, CAROL, AND THE NILE KIDMAN AMC AD.SO OFF TO THE CEPLEX I WENT, TSTG NATALIE PORTMAN SPE MORS THAT THOR: LOVE AND THUNR MIGHT NOT BE AS GAY AS SHE CLAIMED. BUT STILL, I HAD FAH. THOR: LOVE AND THUNR WAS DIRECTED BY TAIKA WAI, WHOSE QUEER, PIRATE HBO MAX SHOW, OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH, CERTALY CROSS THE THRHOLD OF “SO GAY.” BISEXUAL ACTOR TSA THOMPSON WENT ON RERD AT SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON SAYG THAT SHE WANTED TO FD HER CHARACTER VALKYRIE, THE FEMALE KG OF ASGARDS, A QUEEN THE NEXT FILM. PL, THERE WAS GOG TO BE A RA ORA MEO. ALL POSIVE SIGNS!WHAT I FOUND…WELL I’M STILL TRYG TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND. BELOW IS A LIST OF THE GAY MOMENTS, SUBTEXT, AND ENERGY THAT I ULD FD THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, RANKED BY THEIR LEVEL OF GAYNS. BE WARNED: SPOILERS ABOUND.NOT GAY (AND SORT OF RUDE)CHRIS PRATT’S STAR-LORD IS PRETTY HEAVILY FEATURED THE FIRST 15 MUT OF THE FILM. THERE’S A FIGHT SCENE WHERE THOR FENDS OFF TWO MONSTERS WHILE A RSIAN SPL, AND STAR-LORD DRAMATILLY ROLLS HIS EY (WHICH GOT A BIG LGH OM THE DIENCE, BY THE WAY). SHAMG ANOTHER MAN FOR BEG SUPER FLEXIBLE AND A “B MUCH”? SORRY; THAT’S ANTI-QUEER BEHAVR, I’M AAID.CHRISTIAN BALE’S PERFORMANCE AS GORR THE GOD BUTCHER WAS GIVG VOLMORT VIB, WHICH MA ME THK OF HARRY POTTER, WHICH MA ME THK OF J.K. ROWLG—WHO IS ACTUALLY HARMFUL TO LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AND TO MY PSYCHE. ALSO, FOR THE ENTIRE FILM I THOUGHT HE WAS PL BETTANY.THERE’S A B WHERE HEIMDALL’S SON, AXL (KIERON L. DYER), RENAM HIMSELF, AND THOR SISTS THAT AXL E HIS PREV NAME, ASTRID. EVENTUALLY, THOR ACQUIC AND LLS AXL BY HIS CHOSEN NAME…BUT ’S LEFT A WEIRD TASTE SOME LGBTQ+ FANS’ MOUTHS.SIMPLY NOT GAYTHERE’S A SHORT MONTAGE OF THOR, PLAYED BY CHRIS HEMSWORTH, AND HIS MANY LOVERS…ALL OF WHOM ARE WOMEN. TECHNILLY, HE KISS A “WOLF WOMAN” WHILE RIDG “A WOMAN WOLF,” BUT THE ENERGY OF ALL IS OVERWHELMGLY STRAIGHT LOTHAR.THE MONTAGE THAT PICTS NATALIE PORTMAN’S DR. JANE FOSTER AND THOR’S RELATNSHIP IS BASILLY JT A 10-MUTE VERSN OF THE BREAKUP (2006) STARRG JENNIFER ANISTON AND VCE VGHN, PL A MAGIC HAMMER. DECIDLY NOT GAY.MATT DAMON AND MELISSA MCCARTHY BOTH APPEAR A PERFORMG TROUPE ASGARD, ACTG OUT THE LEGEND OF THOR. LATER ON, DAMON APPEARS AGA AND ASKS VALKYRIE IF HE SHOULD WRE A PLAY TO HELP SAVE THE TOWN, WHICH HAS BEEN RAVAGED BY VOLGORR THE GOD BUTCHER. WHILE THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SURPRISE CELEBRY REVEALS THE FILM IS SOMEWHAT GAY (WHO DON’T LOVE A RUVEAL!), THE MOCKERY OF STAGE ACTG IS NOT GAY AT ALL.SLIGHTLY GAYTHE FILM OPENS WH A PREFACE THAT FEATUR THE GOD DNYS (SIMON RSELL BEALE)—SHIRTLS A FIELD OF GIGGLG FLOWERS AND WEARG A SPARKLY GOLN CROWN AND STATEMENT NECKLACE, BRAGGG ABOUT HOW MANY FOLLOWERS HE HAS. FLOWERS, STATEMENT NECKLAC, AND BEG OBSSED WH FOLLOWERS? DEFELY A B GAY!K MISTAKENLY LLS JANE FOSTER “JANE FONDA.” THE VOTN OF MISS FONDA, ’80S AEROBICS AND 9 TO 5 QUEEN, IS FELY SLIGHTLY GAY!THE FIRST NEEDLE DROP OF THE FILM IS, QUE RANDOMLY, ENYA’S “ONLY TIME.” THIS FEELS WEIRDLY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE RECENT RURGENCE OF WCHY FORMER POP STARS WHO NOW LIVE STL PLETELY OFF THE GRID. AGA, NOT EXPLICLY GAY ANY WAY, BUT I FELY UGHT QUEER VIB.THOR’S CLOTH ACCINTALLY GET STRIPPED OM HIM, LEAVG HIM STANDG A ROOM FULL OF GODS THE NU. WHILE NOTHG SALAC IS SEEN (THE MOVIE IS ONLY PG-13, AFTER ALL), I BELIEVE THAT IMAGG CHRIS HEMSWORTH NAKED WILL RULT A QUEER AWAKENG FOR SOME OF THE YOUTH (AND, LET’S FACE , THE ADULTS) THE DIENCE. BON POTS: K SAID, “IT LOOKED LIKE A LTLE URGETTE,” I.E. A ZUCCHI—WHICH IS A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP AWAY OM THE EGGPLANT EMOJI.GAYTHOR, JANE, AND VALKYRIE MORE OR LS EXCLIVELY TRAVEL BY RIDG SCREAMG YAKS WHO N ON A SUPERCHARGED RABOW. WHILE RABOWS ARE NONILLY GAY (SEE: THE PRI FLAG, “SOMEWHERE OVER THE”), THIS IS SORT OF THE LOWT POSSIBLE BAR YOU ULD PASS FOR HAVG QUEER NTENT. BUT, I GUS UNTS.THE SHEER NUMBER OF FIERCE PANTSUS VALKYRIE WEARS AS KG OF ASGARD. SERVG LEWKS IS GAY!VALKYRIE BRGS A PORTABLE SPEAKER WH HER ON THE RABOW GOAT SHIP AND PLAYS A SNIPPET OF “FAY AFFAIR” BY MARY J. BLIGE. THAT’S A BOP, AND GAYS LOVE BOPS!MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT: MICHAEL PATRICK KG KNOWS WHEN THE AUDIENCE TURNED ON CHE DIAZBY CHRIS MURPHYNETFLIX’S MURDGH MURRS IS OFFICIALLY RETURNG FOR SEASON 2: EXCLIVEBY SAVANNAH WALSHHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONRSELL CROWE GIV THE WORST VOL PERFORMANCE OF HIS REER SCE L MISéRABL (2012). HIS BLOWHARD ZS SOUNDS LIKE THE FIRST DRAFT OF AN ITALIAN ACCENT, BUT ZS IS FAMOLY GREEK. IT WAS NFG AND NFOUNDG AND REMD ME OF HIS JAVERT, AND THERE’S SOMETHG HERENTLY QUEER ABOUT THAT.GAY??THE SO-LLED GAYNS OF VALKYRIE IS (TENTNALLY) NFG. AT ONE POT SHE TELLS DR. JANE FOSTER—WH WHOM SHE CLEARLY HAS NO ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY—THAT SHE MISS HER “SISTERS.” DO SHE MEAN SISTERS LIKE RELATIV, SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (PLATONIC), OR SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (ROMANTIC)? WE NEVER FD OUT. VALKYRIE IS THE GAYT PART OF THE FILM FOR SURE, BUT DO NOTHG EXPLICLY QUEER EXCEPT MAYBE…WHEN SHE’S PG THE KGDOM OF THE GODS. VALKYRIE BRIEFLY STOPS TO MAKE BEDROOM EY AT ONE OF ZS’S FEMALE NCUB, WHO I AM PRETTY SURE IS PLAYED BY RA ORA. THIS HAPPENS SO FAST (AND IS FILMED SUCH A WAY THAT I’M PRETTY SURE ULD GET CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE IF NEEDS TO BE LS LGBTQ+-IENDLY TERRORI) THAT I AM ACTUALLY NOT SURE IF ’S RA ORA OR NOT. BUT DO HAPPEN, AND IS A MOMENT—THE ONLY MOMENT—OF GIRL-ON-GIRL “ACTN” THE FILM, IF YOU N LL THAT.AT ONE POT, THOR IS VOLVED A LTLE B OF A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN JANE FOSTER AND HIS AX, STORMBREAKER. MANY LGHS ARE (ATTEMPTED) TO BE WNG OUT OF STORMBREAKER’S SEEMG JEALOY OF JANE. IT WAS NFG TO ME, A MARVEL-NEOPHYTE, AS I ASSUMED THAT THOR’S AX WAS A GENRLS OBJECT—AND NOT TO GATEKEEP THE WORD GAY, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN A MAN, A WOMAN, AND A MAGIL AX DON’T QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” BUT I’M HAPPY TO KEEP AN OPEN MD ON THE MATTER.THE MOST EXPLIC “GAY” MOMENT: VALKYRIE AND K HAVE A (VERY BRIEF) HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT ROMANCE WHILE THOR AND JANE FULL ON MAKE OUT. IN THE SCENE, K EXPLICLY SAYS THAT HE HAS TWO DADS, AND THAT HIS SPECI ARE NCEIVED WHEN TWO KRONAN MEN HOLD HANDS OVER A LAVA P. IT’S A SWEET MOMENT, BUT THE SCENE IS PLACED SUCH A WAY THAT, AGA, FEELS LIKE ULD BE ENTIRELY REMOVED OTHER MARKETS. DURG THE NVERSATN, K ALSO MENTNS VALKYRIE’S AD GIRLIEND AND HOW SHE’S CLOSED HERSELF OFF OM LOVE. AGA, FELY REGNN THAT LGBTQ+ PEOPLE EXIST—BUT ’S THE FIRST AND LAST TIME WE HEAR ANY MENTN OF VALKYRIE’S LOVE LIFE OR TERT WOMEN.AT THE END OF THE FILM, THERE’S ALSO THE BRIEFT OF SHOTS OF K HOLDG HANDS WH ANOTHER ROCK KRONAN (PRUMABLY A MAN) OVER A LAVA P, AN ATTEMPT TO MAYBE MAKE A BABY. DID MARVEL JT SHOW OUR FIRST SCENE OF GAY KRONAN SEX? IT’S HARD TO KNOW.SO GAYNATALIE PORTMAN G THIS FILM AS A SHOWSE AND THEN HAVG HER CHARACTER DIE, HOPEFULLY RELEASG HER OM THE MCU AND ALLOWG HER TO GET BACK TO PROJECTS LIKE CLOSER.MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT: MICHAEL PATRICK KG KNOWS WHEN THE AUDIENCE TURNED ON CHE DIAZBY CHRIS MURPHYNETFLIX’S MURDGH MURRS IS OFFICIALLY RETURNG FOR SEASON 2: EXCLIVEBY SAVANNAH WALSHHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONVALKYRIE SUALLY WEARG A PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SWEATSHIRT WHILE KICKG SOME SPIR MONSTER ASS.HONORABLE GAY MENTIONKAT DENNGS ALSO APPEARS AS A LLEAGUE OF DR. JANE FOSTER ONE (1) SCENE, NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD OM AGA. SHE’S BEEN A GUT JUDGE ON DRAG RACE AND HAS A OL VIBE, SO SHE GETS AN HONORABLE MENTN HERE.SO, LOOKS LIKE THOR WILL NOT BE WNG ANY GLAAD AWARDS. BY MY SCIENTIFIC LCULATNS, THERE WERE FAR MORE NOT GAY MOMENTS THAN GAY MOMENTS, AND ONLY TWO THAT WOULD QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” IN EVERY WAY, THE FILM WAS LS GAY THAN DUNE, WHICH FEATURED TIMOTHéE CHALAMET POUTG, BUTTHOLE-SHAPED WORMS, AND STEPHEN MCKLEY HENRSON HOLDG A LTLE PARASOL JT SO.BUT WHAT WERE WE TO EXPECT? A MOVIE PRODUCED BY MARVEL WHICH IS OWNED BY DISNEY—WHICH HAS E UNR A B OF FIRE FOR S HANDLG OF GAY NTENT AND S FANCIAL SUPPORT OF ANTI-LGBTQ+ POLICIANS—WAS MAYBE NEVER BOUND TO BE “SO GAY” AFTER ALL. SO THE NEXT TIME THE FORMER UNRSTUDY FOR LRA BELL BUNDY RUTHLS THE MIL OFF BROADWAY SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS SO GAY, DON’T NECSARILY TAKE HER WORD FOR .MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRHOW FOUR BILLNAIRE TECHNO-OLIGARCHS ARE CREATG AN ALTERNATE REALYEXCLIVE NEW DETAILS ABOUT MEGHAN MARKLE’S WEDDG DRSA BIRD’S-EYE VIEW OF EVERYTHG HAPPENG AT THIS FALL’S FILM FTIVALS—WHOUT THE STARSA SER SETBACK FOR TMP’S PLAN TO GET REELECTED AND PARDON HIMSELFMEET KYLE DCHANEL, THE PRETEND PLAYBOY WHO SEEMS TO HAVE FOOLED HALF OF MANHATTANTHE ULTIMATE GUI TO FALL MOVIFROM THE ARCHIVE: A FATHER’S ACUNT OF THE TRIAL OF HIS DGHTER’S KILLEREND-OF-SUMMER SALE! TAKE 25% OFF AT THE VF SHOPCHRIS MURPHY

Givg a sile character the moniker of "gay" isn't blazg a trail for LGBT cln as much as s hopg s dience is ignorant enough to nflate the monplace wh somethg fact that an average gay man a Marvel movie mak news as newsworthy shouldn't be surprisg.

It's the same approach Disney took by makg LeFou gay Bety and the Beast and sayg he was gog to have a "gay moment" when realy he jt very yly longed for Gaston. "We've done four of the films and was credibly important to to have a gay character reprented somewhere one of the four movi. " But te reprentatn isn't a BINGO rd wh an empty slot that says "throw a gay here!

" If anythg, stashg a gay man the narrative so that Capta Ameri n pat him on the head and tell him how brave he is only rerc the ia that LGBT people should feel lucky to be clud at ntent is imported om youTube. I would have preferred that the Rso Brothers, Disney, and the Marvel Universe ntued on their journey of creatg a good universe wh a pellg superhero narrative and left the wanton attempt of cludg a gay character on the cuttg room floor. But when you make a pot to create a gay character, have him do the absolute least, and then have ld as a step forward for reprentatn, that's a b of a another world, I like to image that Thanos is alive and that he ed his Snap abili a more nstctive way.